It took half an hour for Cass to show up in my office. I almost asked him which other bed he had hopped into on his way, but I noticed his hair was damp, and he was smelling quite fresh. I had to commend him for always taking care of himself. He might fuck around, but the boy always had excellent hygiene care.
“I thought it was better to take a shower,” he remarked when he closed the door behind him. “The club’s president deserves better than second helpings.”
It took a while for his meaning to sink in. When it did, I shook my head at him and indicated the chair in front of me. “That’s not why I asked you to join me, Cass. Have a seat so we can talk?”
“Talk?” He frowned at me as if the concept was new to him.
“You know, that thing you do with your lips?”
He grinned at me. “I give blow jobs with my lips.”
I groaned, even more confident now than before that I needed to curb this peculiar guy before he said such silly shit in front of Jamie. It was tough enough, him knowing I was keeping secrets from him. I didn’t need him to distrust me with other men as well.
“Why don’t we not talk about blow jobs or sex for a while?” I asked him.
“Huh? I’m not sure what else there is to talk about.” He pulled his knees up in the chair and hugged them to his chest. “I love sex. That’s okay, right? Nobody seems to mind.”
I drummed the pen I held between my fingers on the desk. “Cass, tell me about your family.”
I saw the way he clutched his legs tighter. “My family? I-I don’t have any family.”
His hesitation made it impossible to believe him, but I decided to let it go for now. Something told me this club was the only thing keeping him alive. Were he to disappear tomorrow, he would more than likely end up in a ditch somewhere. My brothers fucked hard, but they would never physically harm him outside of what he requested in bed. Should he say no as well, no one would force him to have sex.
The problem was getting him to say no; he seemed incapable of it.
“Are you happy here?” I asked him.
That prompted a smile from him. “Yes, I’m very pleased to be here. Everyone’s so nice and happy with me. I like making all the guys happy.”
“But it’s not your duty to make everyone happy. You know that, right?”
He shrugged. “I like it anyway. It makes me feel good that I make everyone feel good. That’s my purpose.”
“What? Who the hell told you that, Cass? Your purpose isn’t to please every single man in this club. You can say no if you want to.”
“But I don’t want to say no. They are nice men who don’t force me. I get to offer myself here, but out there…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I’d rather stay here and offer myself for free than to get paid to have my eyes swollen and my body all black and blue.”
I felt sorry for him and strangely protective as I thought about Jamie or Joel in the same situation. Goddammit, I should have intervened sooner instead of just taking what he offered. If he hadn’t been so willing in my bed, I would have felt even worse about it.
“Then I’m glad you’re staying with us,” I told him. “But Cass, don’t offer yourself to me anymore. I’m with someone else. Someone I care about, and I would never do anything to hurt him. Do you understand?”
His eyes turned wide, and he nodded. “He’s a lucky guy to have someone like you care so much about him.” He laughed, the sound dry. “I know better than to think that will happen to me.”
“It might, but it can be tricky when you’re sleeping with everyone,” I said gently. “How will you get to know one person and decide who you like and who’s worth it?”
He shrugged, shifting in his seat as if he was uncomfortable with the line of our conversation.
“I’m not holding my breath.”
I sighed. “Are you at least willing to try? It’s okay if you want to sleep with several guys, Cass. I’m not saying you can’t, but I hate seeing you doing it with men who don’t truly care about you. I feel you’re depriving yourself from having a deeper connection with someone.”
He released his feet and placed them on the ground. “This is weird, hearing you talk about things like this. I mean, before this guy came along, you didn’t have a problem sharing me with everyone else.” He gasped, tears welling in his eyes. “Are you going to send me away? Is that it? Please, don’t send me away. If I go back on the streets, they’ll find me, make me do things I don’t want to do.”
“Who are they, Cass?”
He clamped his mouth shut, shaking his head as tears spilled down his cheeks.
“Look, I won’t send you away. This is your home for as long as you want to stay here. Just think about what I said, okay?”
He nodded. “Okay, if that’s what it takes for me to stay here, I won’t sleep with anyone again.”
“Cass, that’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean?”
I shook my head at him, our conversation making my head hurt. “Never mind. You may go.”
“Okay.” He walked toward the door, then stopped and gave me an almost shy smile. “I like your boy. Will he come around more often? Maybe we could hang out sometime.”
Ugh, bad idea. “Sure, why not?”
With that, he skipped away, and I groaned, clutching my head. “What the fuck was that all about, Grimm? You need to stop borrowing trouble.”
I grabbed my phone from the desk and punched in Zak’s number, trying to erase that disaster of a conversation from my mind. He answered on the second ring.
“What’s up, Grimm?”
“I’ll get Jamie after his shift tonight,” I told him. “You can cover my shift at the bar.”
“Thank God,” Zak responded. “I’m telling you, man, when he started crying, I had no idea what the hell to do.”
“He was crying?” Fuck. All the flying fucks.
“Yeah, but he told me not to tell you, so pretend I didn’t say anything.”
I closed my eyes, digging my palms into them. I was so fucking stupid about that boy. Now I’d gone and made him all sad to the extent that he had been crying in front of one of my men.
“Did he say anything else?”
“Not really. Just that he thinks you don’t want him around because you wouldn’t talk to him about last night. Man, you should work on your people skills, because he has the wrong idea about you.”
“Says the guy who still can’t charm his way into Booker’s bed,” I snorted at him. “When you’ve tasted Booker’s nine inches of solid muscle, then talk to me about my people skills, you fucker.”
He laughed from the other end. “Screw you, Grimm.”
“Nah, only my boy gets that privilege.”
Silence echoed over the phone as it sank in what I’d just revealed on the other end. “Holy, shit, Grimm,” Zak whispered. “You bottom?”
“You mention this to anyone, and I’ll cut your tongue out and feed it to you, Zak. Now get the hell off my phone.”
“Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me so as long as you put in a good word for me to Booker.”
“Nope. You’re on your own. I hear peep from the guys about me bottoming, Zak, and you’re getting it.”
I hung up on him before he could reply. I hadn’t spoken to anyone about me bottoming before. The guys and I all had open sex in front of each other, and I’d always topped in those situations.
A part of me was a bit apprehensive of Zak sharing that information with everyone. Even among the gay bikers, there could be ribbing when it came to guys who bottomed. Not that I thought any of my brothers would dare ridicule me for giving my ass to a guy half my size as Jamie was. I’d proven myself to them too often for that anyway.
I barely took up the reports that were on my desk when my phone’s message tone went off. I quickly opened the message to find a GIF of two guys fucking with the bigger guy bottoming. A few emoji index fingers appeared beneath the GIF pointing upward with the words you and Jamie
. That looks awkward as hell. But weirdly hot. Can I watch next time?
I deleted the GIF and ignored the message, returning to the work at hand. Zak’s GIF only had me thinking about Jamie though and how I’d made him cry. I needed to make this up to him big-time and hoped my hunch was wrong and the incident last night was merely an accident.
Chapter Nineteen
Jamie
“Well, if it isn’t the prettiest doctor at the hospital. Aren’t you afraid to send this poor old gal into a cardiac arrest?”
Despite the shitty mood I’d been in all day, as I entered the hospital room and was greeted by the bright eyes of the feisty octogenarian in bed, my mood couldn’t help but lift.
“Libby, you sweet talker, you.” I beamed a smile at her, reaching for the chart on her IV cart to check out the records that had been added to her paperwork since I last saw her last night. She had been admitted into the hospital two days ago and for some reason took an instant liking to me. She was quite crabby to the other doctors and nurses alike but always settled down when I brought her meds.
“Oh, you have no idea, Doc,” she replied, and I glanced at her wrinkled face just in time to catch her fluttering her eyelashes at me. “I was quite the flirt back in the day. Back when I was beautiful and in my prime.”
I replaced her chart and removed my stethoscope from around my neck to check her breathing. She had been diagnosed with a life-threatening case of pneumonia that had caused fluid to gather in both her lungs.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said as I helped her to sit up so I could listen to her chest. “I hear you’re causing quite the ruckus with the doctors and male staff.”
She cackled and ended up coughing. I patted her gently on the back while she fought to catch her breath.
“I wouldn’t flirt with the doctors here if it would add another ten years to my life,” she replied, beaming her gums at me. “They’re too stuffy, especially that Dr. Collier. Although just between you and me, looking at his booty makes for quite some solo entertainment when everybody leaves me the hell alone.”
I shook my head, a little grossed out at what she was talking about but admiring her and the way she took life by the horns and made of it what she could. From what I’d read from her file, she didn’t have much of a family except for a good-for-nothing great-grandnephew she occasionally talked about.
“I just hope when I’m your age, I’ll still be able to function in that department,” I stated, switching from her chest to her back. The coarse crackling in her lungs which sounded like water pouring from a bottle wasn’t as bad as when she had been admitted.
I checked her other vitals and scribbled on her chart while she prattled on about nonsensical hospital matters. She even showed me the pills under her pillow that she’d conned the nurse into thinking she had taken.
I frowned at her, handing her a glass of water for her to take the pills that were three hours overdue now. “Libby, if you don’t take these pills, you’re not going to get better. I get it that you love seeing my face here, but I’ll come visit you when you’re home too.”
“You’re such a nice young man.” She beamed at me and swallowed the pills down with the entire glass of water. I took the glass from her shaky hand and replaced it on the stand beside the bed. “Your girlfriend’s one lucky girl.”
“Boyfriend,” I corrected her while fluffing the pillow at her back to help her to recline once more. “And I consider myself the lucky one. I’ve been after him for years.”
She peered up at my face. “Oh, you’re gay? My great-grandson’s gay too—you know that one who rarely checks up on me and steals my money when he does. He never takes anyone around the house who’s as nice as you.”
Her reaction to my news only made her worm her way further into my heart. “Tell you what,” I said, combing back a lock of her white hair from her forehead. “You be a good girl for the nurses, and during my lunch hour, I’ll be back and help you do something nice with your hair.”
“Can you do a French braid?” she asked, eyeing me suspiciously.
“You bet I can.”
“Good.” She nodded. “Bring some mascara too and a lipstick, and you’ve got yourself a deal.”
Visiting with Libby improved my mood greatly, and it made it easier to go through the hard workday. I tried to avoid Dr. Collier as much as possible, but it was impossible to totally avoid him when he was my attending physician, and I had to refer to him at all times. Any headway I had gained with him had promptly disappeared after our conversation in his office. He was worse than when I’d just started interning at the hospital.
I took my lunch with Libby as I’d promised her, checking with the nurse who confirmed that she hadn’t been her usual handful. By the end of my lunch hour, Libby was beaming at her new French braids and the light makeup I had helped her to apply. I left with a bright pink lip print on my cheek from where she had kissed me, promising that I would check on her again before I went home.
The rest of the evening flew by fast. The ER turned into a flurry of activities in the blink of an eye when a group of people was brought in from a vehicular accident involving several cars and a bus. I pushed aside all personal feelings toward Dr. Collier and temporarily forgot about my troubles with Grimm as I worked together with the team to ensure no one died on our watch.
We still lost a little girl, just nine years old, and Dr. Collier gave me the task of breaking the news to the devastated parents. She had been their only child.
I broke down in the bathroom and cried that I had to be the bearer of bad news. My first death announcement and I’d been foolish to think I would be able to handle it. When I ran into Dr. Collier on my way from the bathroom, I fully expected him to reprimand me, but he merely told me to take fifteen.
I declined and went right back to work.
Finally, my shift ended, and I was looking forward to going home. I made my final stop at Libby’s room, but she was sleeping. I left the new lipstick I had used on her earlier on the bedside table, so she’d know I’d stopped by. Then I walked to the lobby and waited for Zak to pick me up.
The memory of Grimm keeping secrets from me returned now that the adrenaline of working in the ER had disspitated. Maybe I should trust that he knew what was best. He had been living this MC life for as long as I knew him, and I trusted him. I just needed to extend my trust a little bit more in accepting that he had a handle on whatever last night had really been about.
My phone beeped a message, and I found a text from Zak to come outside now. With a sigh, I rose to my feet and pocketed my phone. I would ask him to take me to the clubhouse to make up with Grimm. As tired as I was, I would never be able to sleep without talking to him about last night.
My resolve made, I walked outside and stopped short at the sight of Grimm a few feet away from me. I inhaled sharply, my brain going haywire as it always did whenever he was near. He looked great, completely fuckable in those sinful denims that clung to his thighs and his cut with the various patches he still refused to explain to me in entirety.
“Heard you needed a ride,” he said, breaking the silence between us.
That prompted me to move toward him, though I still couldn’t decide what he was doing here and the kind of mood he was in. He had been so tense earlier, when I’d left the compound.
“I thought I had a ride,” I replied evenly, coming to a stop a couple of feet away from him. “Where’s Zak? Wasn’t he supposed to pick me up?”
“Change of plans. I decided we needed a do-over of last night’s fuckup.”
“Oh.”
“I brought my truck. It’s more comfortable right now than the bike. Plus, I have plans.”
My interest piqued, I took one step closer to him. “How’s your back, or shouldn’t I ask about that either?”
He reached a hand out and pulled me to him, bridging the step that was left between us. “My back’s still sore, and I owe you an apology for being short with you ea
rlier. I just hated the idea that you could have been hurt so easily.”
“Does that mean we can talk about it now?”
He tugged on my arm and started walking, carefully checking our surroundings before setting off across the driveway. “We will. Later. Let’s get you in the truck for now.”
The cautionary way he kept looking around us left me feeling uneasy. Only when we were safely inside his truck and he drove away from the hospital did I breathe a sigh of relief.
We drove in silence for a few minutes with him glancing at me every so often. I plucked at the material of my white coat and frowned at the way he was behaving as if we were strangers. Then it struck me why he would act like this around me.
“Zak’s a blabbermouth,” I accused, turning my face away from him. “He promised me he wouldn’t tell.”
“He is, but I’m glad he told me. The last thing I want to do is make you sad, Jamie.”
“I wasn’t really sad. More frustrated that you wouldn’t tell me what’s going on.”
He sighed heavily as he slowed down at a red traffic light. “Jamie, let’s get some things straight before we even go any further with us. There are club matters that I won’t be able to divulge. The less you know, the better for you should something go down. You may have chosen to stay here and with me, but I’ll still do my damnedest to ensure you’re safe and remain untouched by the club as much as is possible.”
I nodded. The light changed, and he pressed on the gas. “I understand that, but what happened last night wasn’t club business, was it? It involved me, and I deserve to know if some psycho is out there trying to off me.”
“But nobody knows, and that’s why I don’t wish to speak about it for now. Until we’re certain what last night was about, we’ll be as cautious as possible and treat it like a coincidence. For now.”
I pressed my hand on his thigh closest to me. “That’s all I needed to know. Will you tell me if things change?”
Biker Daddy (The Grimm Tales of Smoky Vale Book 1) Page 16