by K. S. Thomas
“I could go for a few extra hours under the covers tomorrow morning,” Hannah agrees.
“Sounds good to me.” Teran grins broadly, stretching his left arm out across the back of Hannah’s chair who snorts in response.
“You know you’re sleeping on the couch, right?” Bodhi reminds him. “And with Fizz around, you’ll be lucky to get any sleep at all. Or covers.”
“Fizz is a bit of a cover hog. And not much for sleeping during the hours anyone else in the house wants to sleep.” Hannah titters reaching for her glass and taking a sip. “My cat is the meanest. It’s why I can’t have other pets. Or roommates.”
“Or boyfriends,” Kaleaha adds.
“True,” Hannah admits. “My time with Davis taught us that much.”
“Who’s Davis?” Teran asks, suddenly looking less at home with his arm wrapped around Hannah’s chair, pretending it’s Hannah’s shoulders.
“This guy I was dating a few months ago. First time he tried to stay over Fizz attacked him.”
“Poor dude had to wear an eye patch for nearly six weeks,” I tell him, just in case he thinks we’re making light of Fizz and her violent tendencies. For a tiny cat, she can do some damage.
“Wait,” Teran interjects, “how come Bodhi’s never come home cat-injured from any of his visits?”
“Fizz can’t be mean to me, she lived with me,” Bodhi explains. “That entire semester after Hannah was busted for having that cat in her dorm, Fizz stayed with me and my roommates. She had no choice but to be nice to me. I was the one feeding her.”
“God, it’s still so weird knowing you’re BJ.” I shake my head, staring back and forth between him and Hannah. “Same guy who used to make you run fake flirting scenarios anytime he liked a girl but had to work up the nerve to talk to her.” I still find myself grappling with that one. In what universe did Bodhi James need help getting a girl’s attention? Even if he was too nervous to speak, there’s plenty there to like just by looking.
“Excuse me, but we were honing our improv skills, not practicing my flirting,” Bodhi insists. Hannah’s toppled over the table laughing though, so I’m not convinced.
“Would you believe, he still makes me practice with him to this day?” Teran chimes in and Hannah nears hysterics, taking the rest of us with her.
I’m literally wiping tears of glee from my eyes when I turn to Bodhi sitting just past Kaleaha to my right. “I think we’re good now.”
“Huh?”
“After my mother came in talking about how much I needed to get laid, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to maintain eye contact with you through an entire conversation ever again, let alone attempt any sort of friendship moving forward, but now, I’m pretty sure we’re on level ground again. Complete equals. In terms of humiliation we can sustain by those we love, anyway.”
He grins. “Humiliation. There’s a foundation I’ve never built from.”
“Usually it’s just the hurdle he’s trying overcome,” Hannah bursts out with another giggle.
“Having fun, are we?” He tosses his linen napkin across the table at her.
She catches it and spreads it out, holding the corners between her thumbs and index fingers while hiding all but her eyes behind it. “You going to keep throwing things at me if I say yes?”
“No.” He pushes his chair out from the table and stands. “But I am going to insist you come and help me in the kitchen. Looks like we’re all about ready for a slice of chocolate cake.”
“Giovanni’s chocolate trinity cake?” Mama inquires, and I swear you can hear her mouth watering as she says it.
“You betcha,” Hannah says, winking as she stands up to join him. “And we got the entire cake! Not just a few measly slices to share.”
“Do I get my own, too?” Mona pipes up, wiping alfredo sauce from her chin with the back of her hand. I swear, all my parental efforts are out the window tonight.
“A small slice.” I look to Hannah as I say it and she nods, understanding.
“We’ll be back in a few,” she calls out, pushing Bodhi onward toward the kitchen. “No one say anything important until we get back!”
“If they’re getting dessert, you and I better the clear the table, Mona,” Mama says, gesturing for my daughter to help her. My little bean doesn’t hesitate. She’s on her feet and collecting plates in no time, clearly motivated by the prospect of cake.
Teran waits until they’re both out of the room before he leans over the table, getting closer to Kaleaha and me, to whisper, “What’s the deal with Hannah and dating?”
“What do you mean?” Kaleaha doesn’t whisper. She claims she can’t. Too many years of training her voice to project. I think it’s bullshit. She just likes denying people their desires for secrecy.
“I mean, why isn’t she seeing anyone?” Teran lets go of his hyper-hushed tone for an understated lull. Still quiet and private, but less insinuative of undercover conversations. “And don’t tell me it’s because of the cat, because I’m not buying that.”
“Why do you care?” I ask, getting straight to the important parts. It’s not going to take that long to cut a cake and my interests have been piqued by the Hannah-Teran possibility.
“Personal reasons.” Then he rolls his eyes at his own answer. I can respect that. “I’m completely crazy about her, but she’s been blowing me off consistently for years now.”
“Have you considered that she’s just not into you?” Kaleaha points out the obvious.
“I have. And Bodhi has. Many times.”
“But?” I know there’s a but. Obviously, there’s a but. Otherwise we wouldn’t be talking about this.
“But, I know she’s into me. She just can’t admit it.”
“Ew.” I make a face. “Arrogant, entitled male – much?”
He shakes his head, waving his hands no. “I’m not assuming. I know. Every time she blows me off, she hooks me back. Like, she doesn’t want me, but she doesn’t want to let me go either. It’s this crazy dance we do non-stop and I just want to know if there’s an end in sight or if there’s something going on that I need to know about, something that would keep her from ever really giving this a shot with me.”
“Have you talked to your brother about this?” I ask, wondering if he might not be better suited to give him advice, given his relationship with both parties.
Teran pulls back again. “No. He just sees her giving me a hard time. He has no clue the things she says when he’s not around. Or the texts she sends. Any of it. And I can’t tell him if there’s a chance he’s the reason she’s holding back.”
“Oh.” Kaleaha puts her left hand on the table and begins to tap the surface with her fingertips. It’s her thinking move. “Yeah. I can see where all these overlapping relationships could be causing you some problems.”
“So, you think that’s it? She won’t go out with me because of her friendship with him?” he asks, the previous hope in his face faltering.
“No,” I cut in. “Your brother has nothing to do with Hannah’s flighty tendencies.”
“You’re gonna sell her out, just like that?” Kaleaha says, shaking her head at me. But she’s grinning, so I know she was planning to do the same eventually.
“It’s Christmas.” This time of year, it’s my excuse for just about everything I do. Eat an entire plate of cookies? Sure, it’s Christmas. Spend all night watching holiday movies? Of course, it’s Christmas. Skip work to go ice-skating? Obviously, it’s Christmas. This, Hannah and curing her of her convoluted fight for singlehood, is no different.
“And I’ve got Christmas miracles on my side?” he asks, smile slowly returning.
“Those are awesome,” I agree, “but I don’t think we’re going to need one.”
“No?”
“No. Hannah’s hang up with relationships is annoying, but hardly unsurmountable.”
He glances at the empty doorway before he leans in closer again. “So, what is it? What do I need to do to help her see t
hat we would be good together?”
“For starters, you need to stop chasing her,” I inform him, “Think of Hannah as a wild horse, k? You try to trap her, she’s just going to take off running. The girl is one hundred percent flight.”
“But, I don’t get it. What is she so scared of?”
I pause briefly to exchange an unspoken agreement with Kaleaha. He deserves to know.
Then, I open my mouth. “She’s scared of turning into her mom. A wildly talented woman, who fell in love with a charming prince who turned out to be an abusive asshole. She was in so deep for so long, she completely lost herself. By the time she got out, Hannah was sixteen and her mother was barely a shadow of the woman Hannah remembered from her childhood.”
“Damn. I had no idea.”
“Of course not. I doubt even your brother knows the extent of her scars from that marriage,” Kaleaha says. “And if you want her to ever get past her flightiness, you better not tell him either. First rule of taming the wild animal? Earning their trust.”
He nods. “I can do that.”
“Yep.” I tap the table with my pointer finger. “And I’m going to help you!”
“I appreciate that,” he says, face turning serious. “But, I have to ask... why? Why are you so willing to help me? You hardly know me.”
I shrug. “It’s Christmas.” I thought I’d covered that. Maybe he doesn’t understand the significance of the season and how it makes everything go above and beyond, including us. “And Hannah deserves the sort of present she’d never give herself.” Then I lean back and smirk. “Besides, even with my help, you’ll never get her if you don’t deserve her.”
Bodhi
“WHAT ON EARTH IS TAKING you guys so long?” Kaleaha demands, startling us so bad, Hannah nearly drops the plate she’s holding. It’s got a giant slice of chocolate cake on it, so it was never really at risk for falling, but still.
“We had to wash a few plates,” Hannah explains. “And then Mona decided we needed ice cream, so she and Dinah went out to the garage to raid the freezer.”
“Oh, good call!” Kaleaha says, stepping into our small circle around the giant cake. “But seriously, I smell shenanigans. What are they? I want in.”
“You can’t smell –” I start, but then I see Hannah nodding and have to rethink my approach to things. Clearly, what I deem normal, doesn’t apply here. “What do shenanigans smell like, exactly? I just want to know, so I can sniff them out myself in the future.”
She laughs. “It’s not a boy skill.”
“It’s not even an any other human skill,” Hannah explains, “but Kaleaha does seem to have a nose for it, so you might as well spill it.” She stares at me, but I’ve got nothing. Flashbacks of being put on the spot in old dive bars in college and whishing Hannah had run one more potential scenario by me to prepare me better are running through my head. So, she does what she’s been doing since then, and takes over. “He’s got a thing for Lilan.”
“I see.” That’s it. No emotional response to the news at all. Not even a little. Just, ‘I see’.
“You don’t think I have a chance with her?” I conclude what little I can from her two-word answer.
“Don’t take it personally. No one has a chance with Lilan.”
“Not true,” Hannah insists, “No man working alone has a chance with Lilan. But Bodhi isn’t doing this alone, no, he has backup – a support team with insider info to help him get the girl!”
“Us.” Still. No emotion. None. This girl is freaking me out.
“Exactly.” Meanwhile, Hannah is overserving her enthusiasm. It’s even starting to creep me out a little.
“We’re going to help Bodhi get Lilan,” Kaleaha spells it out word for word. “We’re going to help him get the un-gettable get.”
“Uh, no.” Hannah waves her pointer finger in the air. “The un-gettable get, is me. We’re just going to push a little love deprived heart back into the love pool it so clearly yearns for.”
“Right. Got it.” She’s nodding, and now, for the first time since she waltzed in here demanding to be part of this conversation, she’s more than just a blank slate or lacking expressions. She’s grinning. She’s got some feelings about this after all.
“What?” I ask, eager to hear what she’s holding back.
“Nothing.” Except it’s the sort of nothing which is clearly something.
“We’ve got vanilla and salted caramel!” Mona’s voice rings with delight as her and her grandmother come waltzing back into the kitchen.
I glance over at Kaleaha. Whatever she was thinking before has passed. Her focus is solely on the sugary selections we have for dessert now.
Maybe it doesn’t matter. After all, she wasn’t against the idea. Wasn’t even saying it wouldn’t work. Hell, she was grinning at the end there. Maybe the funny part was knowing I was closer to getting what I wanted than I know. Maybe, Lilan said something to her. Or, maybe I’m reading way too damn much into one simple smile that could have meant anything. And nothing at all.
CHAPTER EIGHT
LILAN
“That was quite the evening,” Mama observes, playing with the string of her tea sachet as it steeps. Everyone cleared out just before midnight, while Mona passed out on the couch sometime around eleven. The dark and quiet of a sleepy empty house sent me and Mama straight to the kitchen for a midnight cup of tea.
“I forgot how big our dining room was until we had all those people sitting around the table.” I cradle my hot cup in my hands, savoring the warmth of it.
“I forgot we had a dining room!” Mama laughs. “Seems we ought to be making better use of it than we have been.”
I agree. “We should have dinners like this more often. Maybe invite Hannah and Kaleaha over one Saturday a month. And of course, anyone you’d like to have join us.”
“Bodhi James.” The name flies from her mouth the second I finish my train of thought. “That’s who I’m inviting. Just put him on my permanent guest list.”
My eyes narrow and I stare at her, lips pressed together tightly. “Something going on between you two I should know about?”
She takes a spoon from the drawer and proceeds to fish her tea bag from her mug in slow motion. Only once she’s added her honey and cream, and had her first sip, does she get around to answering me.
“It’s been years, my love. He’s handsome. He’s kind. And he knows how to play with your child.” She reaches her hand out to cup my cheek with her palm. “Just let it happen, Lilan.”
“Let what happen?” I finish fixing my own cup of tea to my liking. “Let myself fall in love with some famous actor who in all likelihood will run back to Hollywood two seconds after the Christmas show is over, wind up married to some super model down the road, and never once think back to the time he had a fling with some small-town single mom from Blueshadow? No, thanks.”
Mama never did give up easily. “What if he stays? What if he falls in love with you and marries you and spends every day of the rest of his life thinking about you, the small-town single mom from Blueshadow who captured his heart one fateful Christmas show?”
I scoff. “That would never happen. Not here. And definitely not to me.”
“Why not?” she demands.
“Because it’s not real life, Mama.”
She huffs, taking her tea and having a seat at our small kitchen table. “You know, most people would say the same about having a celebrity join them for dinner on a Saturday evening, but that didn’t make it any less real when it happened here tonight.”
I sigh, swirling my spoon in my cup for no other reason than it gives me something to focus on other than her stern expression staring me down from across the room. “I know you mean well, but could we just drop this? Please? I had a wonderful time tonight. And, yes, Bodhi was a big part of what made it so wonderful, but it’s Christmas. All my favorite things are happening right now. Working on the show with my best friends. For the first time getting to really share the e
xperience with Mona. Snow. All the pumpkin and apple cinnamon things your heart and taste buds could want for. Can’t that be enough?”
“Of course,” she says softly. “It’s enough. I just want you to be open to the possibility of having more...than just enough.”
“I know you do.” Finally, I drag myself over to join her at the table. We’ve reached a truce. “And I’m open, okay? I’m open.”
Her hand moves across the table to find mine. She squeezes it gently, smiling. “I hope so. I really do.”
I hold her gaze and nod. “Now, can we move on and talk about other things? Like Sunday and what we’re going to do with all of our glorious free time?”
“Oh, you didn’t hear? We made plans already.”
“We did?” I definitely did not hear. And who is included in this we business?
“You must have been busy cleaning up,” she says, as though this only just occurs to her, but I get the sense she knew all along I had no idea these plans were made. “Hannah invited us to go out to her father’s cabin for the day.”
“To do what?” It’s a lovely cabin, but it’s located up in the mountains, a location which draws primarily snowboarders, skiers and hunters, none of which I identify as these days.
“Find the perfect tree for the show,” Mama explains, “plus, she wants to collect fresh branches for wreaths. And, I was thinking we could do the same. You know how I love the smell of pine this time of year.”
“I don’t know.” I make a face. “That’s a long way to go for a few branches we could probably find out in the backyard.”
“True, but there wouldn’t be a roaring fire in the massive stone fireplace to gather around. Nor would there be homemade hot cocoa with my famous sugar cookies,” she points out.
“Why wouldn’t we have your cookies here at the house?” It’s not that I’m most hung up on having the cookies, it’s just the part I find oddest in her list of things I can’t have here at home. Where she makes them.
“Because they’ll be at the cabin, with me,” Mama explains, matter of fact.