“I know you are angry right now, but for fucks sake. . . “
“Did you want to end your life again, Astraea?” He asks, his voice still low, deep. I can almost taste the hate just as much as I can taste the salty tears that fall into my open mouth.
I notice that he uses my full name, not the name he has always and I mean ALWAYS used for me. I realize just how angry he is. I have to say that probably hurts me more than the punishment he is currently doling out on my ass.
“Ace. . .”
“Did you plan on overdosing because life is suddenly too much now?” He asks and before I can answer, he delivers ten more rapid, quick as fire slaps to each of my ass cheeks. Each one harder than the last, with no caress in between, no care at all. He doesn’t bother taking the time to notice whether or not he is striking the same spot or not.
Ace means to cause me pain. He means to make me hurt and I scream as the pain grows, morphing from a manageable throbbing to intense pain.
My voice is groggy, hoarse and so damn scratchy but I scream anyway, the pain is too much and Ace doesn’t care.
I scream and cry and thrash around but he doesn’t care. He keeps going.
I scream and cry for much more than the pain he causes me, because as he delivers blow after blow to my stinging and bruised ass, my focus completely leaves the room, leaves my body somehow and it almost feels like I’m in some kind of haze.
I completely zone out, my cries and screams are almost mute, feeling like a fuzz has been cast over me again. The pain goes away somehow, and I’m suddenly attuned to my body and the way it’s responding to. . .Ace.
I suddenly feel the thick hardness between his thighs poking my stomach. I can hear his labored breaths coming in as fast, matching mine. I can feel the heated sensation going through my body like a rush I have never experienced before in my life.
It’s almost euphoric in nature and I find myself desperately clinging to it. Clinging to him. I feel myself getting wet, creaming my panties. We move in sync, we breath in sync. With each slap to my ass, instead of a cry, I moan.
What the fuck is happening to me?
Ace’s blows are slower now. He breathes in, I breath out. My chest moving along with the forceful vibration that is him. His hardness is so damn long and thick, each time I move, it almost seems like he thrusts into my stomach.
So slowly and a bit indecipherable but I feel it. I feel it and I want it.
Need takes over my common sense and suddenly, all I want, even in the height of punishment, is Ace.
I want him to fuck me, to take all of this. . .anguish in me, in my head, away.
He rubs my stinging ass and delivers two more blows but by then, I’m gasping in the haze of the pain, my body now craving something else with a potency that should scare me. But the one thought I have in this moment is that I’m awake and the voices in my head are gone.
Ace forced them to leave and if he can cause them to leave, his touch can erase everything else.
I don’t know what happens but he somehow senses the change in me and the next thing I know, he lets go of my wrists, then he carefully starts to caress and rub my stinging ass.
I lay my head on his strong, thick with sinew thigh, my hair tumbling down to the soft sheets of my bed but it’s him that I want. It’s him that I feel closer to. It’s him that has managed to inflict hurt to my body in the most cruel and alpha way possible, but in the same space, touch my mind.
I know, it all stems from the hate. And something else that feels so familiar about Ace, linking us together in a complicated yet intricate pattern.
“Were you going to leave me again, Blue Star?” He leans over and speaks softly in my ear. I can feel him slipping his hand into my panties and caressing my ass skin to skin. “Tell me, baby.”
I can hear his questions, can hear myself breathing but my entire focus is on two things, his fingers that are caressing very close to a part of me that desperately needs him, as it clenches painfully. I gasp, feeling his fingers at the seams of my wet pussy. I’m so damn wet and craving, needing and wanting his touch.
And secondly, his hardness at my stomach.
I want his cock in me so bad.
“No.” I whisper and that’s the truth. I didn’t want to overdose on them. Not again. Not after what happened the last time.
“Then why?” He asks, skimming the lobe of my ear, kissing it and then sinking his teeth into it. I gasp and scream at the same time, not at all ready for the assault of emotions Ace is giving me right now.
My fingers flex and I clutch at anything that I can so I can hold on, before the flood can sweep me away. I somehow get in contact with his t-shirt. I fist it as at the same time, his middle finger slips into my slick, wet pussy just like that and he starts to slowly fuck me.
Oh fuck.
“Ace please.”
“Why baby? Did you want my attention?” He demands, none too friendly as he adds another finger in me, fucking me slowly, so deep and oh so sleek and sensual I feel like I’m almost losing my mind.
Fuck.
“Why baby?” He prompts, his fingers going deeper, hitting a particular spot in me that makes me think that I have that one sweet spot, but that’s impossible. I have never felt it before, not even when I tried do take care of business myself. I gasp out loud but as soon as he realizes that I’m about to shoot off like a damn rocket, he withdraws his long fingers.
“I just wanted some peace.” I gasp out the answer, knowing that this torment will go much faster and be over if I comply with what he wants. “I’ve been having panic attacks.”
“I know that, but why are you still taking the pills?” He demands, immediately, he adds another finger in me.
I feel so damn full, moving around on his lap like a damn hyena in heat. He starts to thrust in earnest, and I almost scream in pleasure, shifting around, trying to grind into his fingers. I can feel my orgasm, it’s right there but he isn’t giving it to me.
His tempo is now fast, in and out he thrusts. My heart thunders in my chest, fingers clenching through his sweatshirt until I feel the hardness of his chest under my touch.
I want to touch him so bad—skin to skin.
“I. . .”
I don’t have an answer to that, my eyes are now rolling into their sockets as Ace’s fingers hit the spot again. My eyes fly open and I scream. That’s it, that’s my spot that I never thought I had. Years of therapy, and I never once felt this sexy but at his touch, I unravel like a damn cloth tearing into half. But before I can enjoy it, he stops.
“Ace, please.”
My ass is on fire and I can feel the pain and aches of my body now that he has stopped, my pussy clenching hungrily at his evasive fingers but I can feel his gaze on me.
“Why the pills?”
“I fucking need them okay!” I shout, getting frustrated. On one hand, my entire body is aching and on the other hand, my orgasm is just at the edge and I was right there, until I wasn’t.
“Star.” He warns, his voice thunderous and I can just about feel his anger coming back again. “Why the fucking pills?” He questions and somehow this time, I know it’s the last time he will ask me.
The last time before he does something that we will both never recover from. And the last time he will demand the absolute truth from me.
“I can’t shake them.” I surrender in a broken whisper, my heart thundering, tears now falling down my cheeks again as the truth comes tumbling out of me like a broken prayer. “I’m still addicted to them.”
And there it is. The ugly, nasty truth. But that’s not all, he wants more. Because somehow, even in that darkest hour of my life, I felt that heavy need in me, pressing down on my chest.
“And?”
“I wanted to die.” I whisper.
Silence greets me but I continue. He wanted the truth, I’ll fucking give it to him.
“I feel like dying, Ace. The way you looked at me at that damn safe house, you looked at me like I was the m
ost undesirable. You looked at me differently, for the first time in our lives!”
Up until that moment at that safe house, Ace had always had this look in his eyes whenever he looked at me. Frosty, yes but there was still this look about him that made me shiver deliciously, knowing that he can see me. It’s that same look that made me feel safe in his arms. But at that damn safe house, when the truth came crashing down on us, that look was gone.
I can’t help but accuse him for the piercing pain in my heart. I can’t stop the tears falling down my cheeks.
“You caused this pain!”
I hear a sharp intake of breath. I can feel his sharp gaze on me but here we are, facing the damn truth.
Fuck, the truth hurts like a motherfucker but then before I can roll away from him, he pins me down again and this time, he plunges three fingers in me and begins to fuck me in earnest, hitting my sweet spot each time.
“You.”
Hard thrust.
“Go.”
Another thrust directly to my spot, my pussy walls clenching and holding his fingers but he doesn’t let me.
“When. I. Say. So.”
He fucks me with his fingers so hard and I come just as hard, so loud with a scream that pierces my ears. I literally hear a buzz and see color behind my eyes.
Maybe it’s the bitter taste of the truth on my tongue, or the answering silent, yet volcanic anger from Ace. Maybe it’s the grief that slices the room into uneven dimensions of breathless agony—but for whatever reason, my orgasm is hard and intense.
It’s the type of climax that I knew Ace could easily give me, but we both knew it was heightened by misery and grief. A kind of grief that we both refused to face.
Grief heightened by orgasm. Orgasm heightened by grief. . .
My entire body shakes, Ace flips me over to my side and somehow in the darkness of my room, our gazes connect and I can see the blues like I do in my nightmares and my dreams.
I see them as much as they see me. I know these eyes belong to the devil, the spawn of my hate. But they still see me. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. To be seen and he has, since the very first day we met.
“You will fucking die when I say so.” He growls, like a solemn vow. “You will fade away like the kind of nothing that you think you are, when I say so. But for now, you fucking stay here and you fight that shit for me. I fucking need you to fight it.”
He grips me by my waist and pulls me up towards him and then next thing I know, he grips my chin and then bites my lip first. Hard.
Sharp need pounds in me, vibrating between us.
Fuck. Me.
He kisses me, and I swear, no one kisses like Ace. It feels so damn good.
“My touch, baby. My touch on you is what matters.” He says as he caresses my throbbing ass. “This is mine.”
And kisses me.
He lays me down on the bed softly, then he reaches over to pull my shirt off. I’m panting, needing his lips on me. I’m dying to have his lips on me. Dying to have him in me.
“Ace. . .”
“I got you, baby.”
I watch with a hooded, drunk gaze as he looks down at me, with the moonlight filtering in through the window. I’m not wearing anything anymore. Somewhere along the intense spanking, I lost my panties and now my shirt is gone.
“Are you going to make love to me, now?” I ask in a breathless voice, watching him. I can feel the nerves in me but I ignore them, feeling ridiculously sensual and feminine with the way Ace is looking down at me.
His gaze sears my skin, until I feel like hiding. I could die with the way he looks at me.
“I’m going to fuck you.”
He leans over and kisses me, driving me to the brink of insanity and I know all talk is over now. I reach around him and pull at his shirt, wanting it gone. He complies, making short and quick work of removing it as well as his sweatpants. Then he’s back.
He starts to slowly kiss me from my hairline, my forehead, both my cheeks, my closed eyelids, even my freaking ears. Ace peppers kisses all over my body, my hard as diamonds nipples, my stomach, both my hips, then he gets even lower.
“Ace, no. . .”
“Are you a virgin?.”
After everything that Ace has done to me, I don’t know why that question makes me blush.
“I. . .”
“Tell me.” He demands.
“I was sixteen and I was trying to see if. . .”
“Star!” He barks, not at all amused by my ramblings.
“I used a freaking toy!” I shout at him.
I could die of mortal embarrassment. Of all the decisions that I made in the last four years, getting rid of my virginity with a fucking toy was probably the worst one.
“I couldn’t handle having anyone touch me.” And I was never going to fucking give anyone that part of myself, none of these assholes deserved.
“Say something.” Tears start falling down my cheeks again, because he’s painfully still. He doesn’t say anything, looking down at my pussy like he is fascinated by it. With a pained whisper, he speaks.
“I’m sorry I let you down, Blue Star.”
Heartbeat.
Heartbeat.
Heartbeat.
Tears stream down my eyes as I look up at him. They say silent tears hurt the most, and maybe they are right. He watches me until the sight of my tears snaps him out of it. He leans over, wiping my tears away., then looks down at me.
“You are mine, Astraea. Don’t you ever fucking forget that.”
With those growled words, he gets down on me and oh! Fuck!
Ace eats me out like I’m a damn meal and he is a starving man! I quickly grab the strands of his hair and pull, trying to hold on. It doesn’t take him long at all and soon, I’m having my second orgasms.
I shoot off from the bed, he places a hand over my tummy, pressing me down forcing me to take what he is giving me. Fucking me with his tongue.
Oh god.
Then he comes back up, kisses me with my juices all over his tongue.
“I’ve waited forever for you. I let you down baby, never again.”
He kisses me again and then lays me down on the bed. I gasp into his mouth, feeling his fingers twist my nipples. I can’t take this any longer. I reach forward and grip his thick, hardness and it’s his turn to gasp and groan.
I grin, feeling the intoxicating and heady power that sound gives me. Ace is big but I want him, I can’t wait any longer.
“Fuck me, please.”
“Oh baby, hearing you beg is fucking hot.”
I have no idea where it comes from but the next thing I know, the sound of foil tearing can be heard in the room, alongside my loud panting. Then I feel his long, thick girth at my pussy and I moan so damn loud. Ace groans.
Then he pushes into me.
I almost see stars, like actual stars behind my eyelids as I groan, arching off the bed like he just electrocuted me. Spasms of pleasure move throughout my body as he thrusts into me.
Pain hits me first. I feel feverish but he stills in me, waiting for me to adjust as we both try to catch our breath. He leans over me, sweat coating his brow then stares deep into me. He doesn’t say anything, he just watches me, his pupils completely black, not a speck of blue in sight.
We stare at each other until the pleasure comes back crashing into me like a damn wave. His stare alone can make me come, if he just looked at me long enough.
As soon as he realizes that I’m ready, he starts to thrust. Slow at first and then he picks up speed. Kissing me like he is drinking from my lips. He pins my wrists above my head, leans down and sucks each of my hard nipples into his mouth and I almost scream again.
I swear by morning, my voice will be hoarse as fuck.
“Oh God.”
I feel him smirk against my breasts, then he hits my sweet spot again and I fucking moan so damn loud. His thrusts get harder, rougher, going as deep as possible and I let him. It’s building in me again. I can feel it coming clos
er but Ace holds back.
“Fuck you!” I gasp in his ear, then lift my head to tug his ear with my teeth. I bite hard. He growls, then fucks me, leaning down at the crook of my neck, he licks me there and I shiver.
Fuck.
My legs clamp around him and I force him to go deeper, feeling blind with the need to come. I can feel the tension rolling in him and he fucks me faster, harder. He leans back to watch me and out of nowhere, my climax rips out of me but I don’t bother closing my eyes.
He watches me go higher and higher until he comes. He releases my wrists and I quickly wrap my arms around his trembling body. I hold him to me as the waves crash us together. He trembles against me and I allow him, taking all his weight, feeling nothing but bliss with his heavy weight on top of me.
He turns then and looks at me, watching me silently. He watches me, slowly pushing my hair away from my face. Then he pushes out and he’s off the bed. Soon, he comes back with a warm towel and takes care of me.
I watch him move around after a while. He leaves the room for a while, when he comes back, he has a plate with PB&J sandwiches.
I grin, enjoying the soft lines around his face and the delicious, painful feeling in my body. I giggle when he produces a pitcher of water with the sandwiches.
“Where the hell did you get that?”
“I had these made by Frankie before I came here, I knew you hadn’t eaten.”
I ignore the rest of that, deciding not to sour the mood. “Frankie is still with you guys?”
“Yeah, says the world is full of bullshit and he can’t take it.”
Frankie is the King’s famous butler. He used to make these kinds of sandwiches for the boys and I when we were younger. It’s fucking good to hear that he is still alive and well.
“You should thank him for me.” I grin.
He watches me for a few seconds, then his pupils dilate. Hmm, I guess we are going at it again.
He reaches for me again, and soon I’m drowning in his addictive touches and kisses.
Fuck. My. Life.
I should have known that, that night was the beginning of the end.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Reckless Hate: A Bully High School Romance (enemies-friends-enemies-lovers-enemies) (Westbrook Blues Book 1) Page 32