by L. V Russell
I ran for the shore, not having the courage to look back. A wild scream fell from my lips as his arms came up around me, lifting me up out of the water to spin me around. With my arms around his neck, I closed my eyes as he spun, relishing a moment of pure unhindered freedom, our laughter mingling together with complete abandon.
Burying my head into his shoulder, I kissed the soft dip of his neck and tasted salt. His head lowered, mouth finding mine with clumsy kisses that stole my breath away.
I slipped from his arms, not breaking away from him as I half dragged him back to shore. We slipped and stumbled over each other, before landing in a heap beside the fire.
Reaching up, I tugged Laphaniel’s shirt over his head, wincing when I accidently threw it into the flames. I fumbled at the button on his jeans, the soaked denim refusing to push past his hips as I descended into giggles again.
“Lift your bum up,” I said, my chuckle morphing into a sharp snort. The sound startled us, with Laphaniel collapsing against me, his entire body shaking with his laughter. He gasped against my neck, struggling to take a breath.
Tears streamed down my face, my ribs hurting from laughing…my body so unused to such joy it was literally hurting me to be so happy.
“You really are wonderful,” Laphaniel murmured, lifting himself over me so I could see his face. He took a breath, leaning in to kiss me again. His fingers trailed over my face, tracing over my cheeks and down my neck, his gaze never leaving mine until I blushed and turned away, unable to hold his eye any longer.
Teasing kisses followed where his fingers had been, and I arched my body towards his, tasting the sea against his lips as I found his mouth, enticing a gasp from him as I bit down.
Glamour sparked and swirled around us, exciting the flames nearby, so they danced and spat. My head swam with the wonder of it, the magic and the rum swirling my world until nothing else mattered. I barely noticed the chill of the wind against my bare skin, the rough sand against my back, or the spit of flames. I barely noticed Laphaniel reach over me, his breathing hard and frantic while he fumbled around in the shopping bag.
We made love like the world was ending. Like we didn’t know when or if there would be a time to be happy again. We snatched the moment and devoured it until the waves began to creep up the sand and wash against our bare legs, reminding us that we no longer had forever.
“You’re shivering,” Laphaniel murmured in my ear as I lay against him.
“I want to stay here for a little bit longer,” I replied, my words slipping thick and heavy from my mouth. “Just lie here with me?”
I reached out for the rum, both bottles near empty and took a large swallow before Laphaniel prised it from my hands.
“I think that’s enough,” he said as I laid my head against him. “Come on, get up…Teya?”
He tapped my cheek and I prised my eyes open. My hand was strangely heavy as I brushed it against his cheek. “You are really pretty.”
“Okay.” He smiled. “Up you get, come here.”
He lifted me into his arms, and I snuggled against his chest, feeling safe and warm and very, very loved. “Can I go to sleep?”
“Yes, close your eyes, you drunken wretch.”
Laphaniel rolled me against his chest, and I nuzzled closer. He staggered once, snickering into my hair. Then everything just faded away as I fell asleep in his arms.
Chapter Six
A strangled gasp stirred me from a deep sleep, the bed shifting from beneath me. At first, I thought Laphaniel was having another nightmare, and I grabbed for the lamp. I knocked it over with fumbling hands, filling the room with a trembling light.
We were not alone.
“You stupid boy,” Oonagh hissed. The silver-haired faerie straddled Laphaniel, her white gown sprawling around her like mist. She pressed a knife to his throat, a thin dribble of red slipped from beneath the blade. “How fortunate for you that it was me who found you.”
The last time I had seen the lithe, beautiful faerie, she had been dressing me for Luthien’s ball. There had been a strange warmth to her, not quite a kindness, but she had been the only faerie who hadn’t been cruel to me.
In the dim light of the bedroom, however, she was terrifying.
“I’m not feeling very fortunate at this moment,” Laphaniel replied with frustrating calmness. “Get off me before I throw you off.”
Oonagh bared her teeth. “I dare you to try.”
I sat up, ready to pull Oonagh off Laphaniel, not caring in the slightest that I was naked beneath the covers. “Did Luthien send you?”
Oonagh’s ghostly eyes shot to me, dark and livid. “Yes.”
In an instant, Laphaniel had grabbed at Oonagh’s pale hands and flipped her over onto the mattress, the knife at her own throat. The beautiful faerie laughed without humour, spreading her arms wide against the bed, tilting her chin up to meet the blade.
“What are you doing here?” Laphaniel asked, warning darkening his voice.
“I was sent to take Teya back,” Oonagh replied, reaching over to trail her fingers down my arm, and I flinched. “But that is not what I am going to do.”
She kicked her legs upward, catching Laphaniel and in one swift motion, had deftly rolled off the bed. I had felt the softest touch of her lips against mine when she moved.
Laphaniel’s snarl rumbled in his throat. He took one step towards Oonagh before he paused, whipping his head around to the doorway.
“What are you doing here too?” Laphaniel hissed as he noticed a second presence. He snatched a shirt from the floor, still wearing the jeans from the night before.
I turned to the doorway, catching the glare on Laphaniel’s sister’s face. Nefina curled her lip while I tried to cover myself, but beneath the scorn in her blue eyes there was a new vulnerability surfacing which almost softened the hatred in her expression. She was dirtier too, her green silks unwashed and ripped, her white-blonde hair knotted.
I didn’t know the reasons behind the fraught tension between Laphaniel and Nefina—Laphaniel wouldn’t talk about it. I just knew his sister disliked me because I made her brother happy.
“You should have just stayed away,” Nefina said, turning to Laphaniel.
“Believe me, I wish we had. What’s the matter, Nefina? Has Luthien finally tired of having you as her lap dog?”
“I was never her lap dog!” Nefina snapped. Bruises marred her slender arms, the gauzy fabric of her dress not quire hiding them. “You were her little obedient puppy, yapping at her heels. You have no idea what she did to me after you left. Who she took her anger out upon.”
“You cannot blame me for all the bad things in your life.”
“Oh, I can. You took me away, remember? Because that’s what you do. You take things and promise things that you cannot give, and then you leave.”
Laphaniel stood, taking a single step closer to his sister. “Would you have preferred to stay with your father?”
Nefina took a breath, looking up to meet Laphaniel’s furious gaze. She didn’t waver. “Better a rich man’s whore than the life you gave me.”
“You are a thankless, ungrateful bitch,” Laphaniel snarled. The light began to flicker from its displaced position on the bedroom floor.
“Oh!” Nefina gasped, clutching her elegant hands to her chest in mock adoration. “Should I be thankful to you, then? For the nightmare that was my childhood? Thankful to leave one hell only to be thrust into another and another after that? Do you even remember any of it, or were you too lost in an Ember fog to even know where you were?”
Nefina caught the shock on my face and sneered at it. “You never told Teya that delightful part of your life, I take it?”
“What he tells me is no concern of yours, Nefina,” I said, gaining an unreadable look from Laphaniel. However, I made a mental note to ask what Ember was.
“I kept you safe,” Laphaniel said to his sister, some of the anger ebbing from him.
“You need to rethink your meaning of
that word,” Nefina spat. “You didn’t keep me safe, you are not keeping that dumb creature over there safe. She is going to die because of you.”
“Is that why you came here? To list all my shortcomings and tell me that I’m going to fail?” Frustration replaced what was left of Laphaniel’s simmering anger. “You are not telling me anything I don’t already know. I have no plan on what to do next. We have reached out to the Unseelie for help, I am that desperate…I have nothing in mind but to throw ourselves at their mercy, hoping they will listen before they slaughter us.”
“That’s a fool’s hope,” Nefina said.
“It’s all I have.”
“How did you get here, Laphaniel?” Oonagh asked, the edge to her voice revealing she already knew the answer.
“I drove down,” I said, reaching under the cover for my top, which was crunchy from my dip in the freezing sea. I yanked it on and fumbled for my jeans. The air was almost crackling from the tension in the room; the hateful words left unsaid.
“You drove down,” Oonagh repeated, nodding slightly, so her soft hair tumbled over her shoulder like cobwebs. “How was the iron sickness?”
“It was unpleasant,” Laphaniel answered.
“Oh, I bet it was.” Oonagh reached for something concealed in a pocket of her long silver cloak, the edges ragged. She tossed the map onto the bed. I winced, and Laphaniel closed his eyes. “I had a feeling you would return to Teya’s house.”
“Because Luthien had mine scorched to the ground,” Laphaniel cut in.
“You left this behind!” Oonagh rounded on him. “Have you any idea what would have happened if one of Luthien’s fey had found it? Are you really that stupid, Laphaniel?”
Laphaniel made a low sound in the back of his throat, a warning that caused the hairs on my neck to prick up. Glamour swirled thickly around the room, restless and angry. My head swam with it.
“I’m in no mood for this,” Laphaniel said, pushing past Oonagh as he made to leave. She grabbed his arm with a snarl of her own.
“Perhaps drowning yourself in drink wasn’t the smartest idea then. I can smell it on you both. I can still scent the iron on you.”
“It probably wasn’t the best idea, Oonagh,” Laphaniel snapped, yanking his arm back, “But it felt fucking good at the time.”
“Laphaniel! Wait,” I called after him, but he didn’t listen, he just left. Oonagh and Nefina turned to me as I ran my hands through my hair, swallowing the lump in my throat while I fought the urge to scream.
“That car journey could have killed him,” Oonagh said, the accusation sharp. “Where is the car now?”
“In a ditch.”
Oonagh took a step closer, long fingers reaching to touch just below my collarbone. I wondered what colour the bruising was. “You could have been killed.”
I swiped the knotted strands of my hair away, feeling a headache starting to pound behind my eyes. “I need coffee if we are going to continue this, lots of it. You two go and make coffee, I’m going to find Laphaniel.”
“I don’t know how…”
“No, Nefina. Figure it out please, stop talking to me.”
I found Laphaniel in the garden, beneath a wooden gazebo that had seen better days. Pulling up a chair, I sat beside him, the peeling paint coming off in my hands. He didn’t look up.
“Nefina’s right,” he said.
“No, she isn’t.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Did you know Luthien once flayed a girl alive because she spilled a drink on her dress?”
“Luthien has to catch me first.”
“It took three days for her to die.”
I took his hand, forcing him to look at me. “Stop.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he admitted.
“It’s not on you to figure it all out. Are you going to tell me what happened between you and Nefina?”
He shook his head, “Just leave it alone.”
“What’s Ember?”
He looked away, “Nothing but a bad memory.”
“Are you going to add that to the list of things you won’t talk about?”
“I think I will.”
I sighed. “Bottling everything up won’t make it all go away.”
“Here.” Laphaniel placed a little black box onto the table. “Now seems as good a time as any to give this to you.”
He watched me pick it up, turning it over in my hands before lifting the lid and peering inside. It was a star. Small and silver, simple and perfect. Each one of its six points was different lengths, curving inwards ever so slightly.
I carefully lifted it from its box and fastened it around my neck, my fingers lingering on the delicate points.
“Thank you.”
“It is about as useful as a real star to wish upon, but I thought you might like it.”
“I love it,” I said, reaching across the table to take his hand. “You are my star, Laphaniel. Never forget that. My light in this darkness.”
“I think sometimes you put too much faith in me,” he answered, his dark mood not seeming to shift.
“I wish you would talk to me.”
“I am talking to you.”
“Laphaniel…”
“It won’t stop the nightmares, will it?” he interrupted softly. “Or mend the rift between Nefina and me, or change the fact I was dragged back when all I wanted was to stay—”
He stopped, closing his eyes. Having him say it out loud was like a kick to the stomach. “You told me you didn’t remember.”
“I don’t remember much, but it hurt.” He stood, creating a distance between us.
The memory of him dying in my arms was too clear. “I know. I saw.”
He shook his head, the violet of his eyes slowly swallowed up by black. “No…no, not that. I was never meant to come back. It was like being ripped from somewhere and tossed aside, and now I feel like I am drowning.”
Laphaniel paced against the damp grass, agitated and withdrawn. His fists curled and uncurled at his side. Glamour swirled around him, unchecked.
“Did you forget about me?” The words were the barest of whispers, I hadn’t really meant to speak them, but his head snapped towards me.
“I don’t know.”
“Why wouldn’t you want to come back to me?” I asked, the words holding no comfort at all, just a bitter accusation that rose unprompted, hungry for answers I wasn’t ready for, and he wasn’t ready to give.
Laphaniel took a breath, and it hissed through his teeth. Tendrils of feral Glamour whipped at my hair, sparking the pounding in my head. I could barely hear anything over the sudden ringing in my ears. Wet slipped from my nose, red upon my fingertips.
“Wait,” I called out as he took another step back, panic flashing over his face when he noticed the blood. His breath caught again. “Laphaniel—”
“Don’t.” There was a lull to the word, heavy and strange. I had no idea if he meant to thread his Glamour into his voice, or if it were completely out of his control. “Leave me be.”
For a moment, my mind went blank, and my body soft as the lilting melody of his voice settled over me. My feet moved, but I barely felt them.
It felt good to walk away, better than good. Wonderful.
I forced myself to stop, remembering well the pull of Glamour, the need to listen and obey. It was getting easier to fight it.
With leaden feet, I closed the gap between us, pulling him close enough, so his heart thumped wildly against me. His Glamour dropped like a dying wind.
Laphaniel tilted his head to rest against my shoulder, his breathing calming, but he tensed when Oonagh called out to us.
“We better go back and talk to them,” I began. “Do you need a moment?”
I knew he would hate for the others to witness his vulnerability, the sudden lack of control over his Glamour...his emotions. He pulled away from me and nodded.
“Okay,” I said.
“I don’t…I can’t talk about what happened, Tey
a. Not yet. I don’t know what just happened…I don’t—”
“I’m sorry,” I cut in, sensing his rising panic. Noting the sparks of Glamour stirring up again.
Oonagh called out again and I gritted my teeth, wishing she would stop. “Do you want me to stay for a bit?”
“Oonagh won’t stop yelling for us,” Laphaniel replied quietly. “I’ll follow in a minute.”
I walked back to the cottage on my own, finding Oonagh and Nefina in the living room. A tray of weak looking coffee sat upon a little table.
“What happened?” Oonagh asked, her ghostly eyes following me as I sat down.
The coffee barely warmed my hands. “I tried to force him into opening up to me, and I shouldn’t have.”
Tears pricked at my eyes, and it was an effort to keep them in check. Oonagh offered me no comfort, no kind words, she just waited, and for that, I was thankful to her.
“He said he didn’t remember…I didn’t think. I didn’t realise…” I rambled, my words fast and useless. “I pushed him, not even noticing how he was hurting.”
“You’re noticing now,” she said, taking a sip from a dainty china cup.
“I may have left it too late.”
“This is forgivable, Teya. Selfishness is forgivable, after all we faeries are selfish creatures.” Oonagh said, waving a hand over the branches of a dying houseplant. Tiny buds appeared beneath her fingers, only to die again when she pulled her hand away. “Do you quarrel often?”
“We’ve started to.”
“Good.” Her eyes lit up. “You’re both hungry, frightened and lost, so of course you will bite at each other. It is when indifference sets in, then you can worry.”
My hand reached for the star around my neck. “I can’t lose him again.”
“What do you mean?” Nefina asked, leaning against the far wall, away from us. I turned to face her, noting the dark circled beneath her bright eyes. She didn’t know how we had broken the curse.
“We went into the Seelie castle so I could take Niven’s place, and she stabbed Laphaniel. He died in my arms. It’s what broke the curse.” I swallowed, unable to explain how his soul was dragged back to his body. Unable to think how it had been dragged kicking and screaming from a place where apparently, it had found some sort of peace.