by Ko Hiratori
“I didn’t think this guy would die a good death, but...I sure didn’t expect it to be this pitiful.” He came to another world, learned his limits, became a panty thief in his despair, and died. Did all the “reborn in another world” stories he always talked about end this sadly? I’d like to read one sometime. “But this is a murder mystery. Someone killed him.”
It certainly wasn’t suicide. For me, this situation would have been so embarrassing I would want to die, but for Chiba it was daily life. And he wasn’t the type to kill himself.
Someone had definitely murdered him.
“Yeah... And the one who tied him up so he couldn’t move was you, Haru.”
“That’s right.”
“And the one who locked him in this shed was you, Haru.”
“Yep.”
“And you have the key, too, right?”
“Hold up. I didn’t do it. I even have an alibi. I was with you the whole time!”
“You said more than once that you wished he would die...”
“Yeah, I did. I said it plenty of times. But look, I didn’t do it, so think for second! Calm down and think about it, okay?”
Me, the culprit?
Nah, there’s no way.And I’m a reliable narrator. Seriously.
“Let’s get our facts straight first. Then we can reason it out with cool heads. We’ll catch the culprit ourselves.”
“U-Uh-huh. But don’t you think we should leave that sort of thing up to the soldie—?”
“We can’t do that. I mean, you know what sort of investigation they’d do. This is a brothel, and the victim is a panty thief. They’ll try to frame one of us as the murderer and get it over with as quickly as possible. They definitely won’t look into it properly. It could actually be more dangerous for us if we don’t track down the perp on our own!”
I will avenge Chiba and clear my name.
’Cause this is a Blue Cat Nocturne murder mystery!
The scene of the crime was a shed at a brothel.
It was next to the laundry hanging area around the back of the building and couldn’t be seen from the street. You either had to go around the building or exit through the back near the kitchen to access it.
At the time of discovery, the door was unlocked. There was no master key. The shed’s walls and door were wood. There weren’t any windows, either. It was a total locked room.
I was the only one with a key. But at the risk of sounding insistent, I was out shopping when...Chiba coughed up blood and died. From the lack of external injuries, it was likely the murder was committed via poison.
It had to have happened sometime between the time Lupe and I went to Sumo’s and the time we returned with the cake. I don’t think it took an hour, but it was definitely more than thirty minutes, so anyone could have done it.
But the only ones who knew panty-thief Chiba was even in there were the girls at the shop. I don’t like the thought, but the girls are the only suspects that make sense. And their underwear were stolen, after all. That’s a fine murder motive, isn’t it, Conan?
Chiba, why did you do something so stupid?
“For starters, let’s interview the girls in the shop. But we can’t mention that Chiba was killed yet. I want to hear what they have to say before everything descends into chaos.”
“O-Okay...”
As Lupe and I served the cake, we asked everyone if anything weird had happened. To protect their privacy, I’ll list their testimonies with their names concealed:
Girl A: I was cleaning the hall on the second floor. Did I notice anything? Not really.
Girl B: I’m off today, so I was in my room.
Girl C: Cake? No thanks. Anything weird? You were making a stupid racket again.
Girl D: Girl A does a lousy job cleaning, so I was redoing her work.
Girl E: When I was cleaning on the first floor, I saw Girl C hanging around in the hall.
Girl F: I was prepping food for today in the kitchen. I think Girl B came in for some water.
Girls G-L: We had band practice. No one left their seats at any time.
Girl M: I was in my room and heard Girls A and D having a bit of an argument.
I have no cluuuuue!The only thing I learned from this is that Girl C really doesn’t like me. What did I ever do to her?
Well, I can cross the band members off the suspect list, I guess. That cuts out half. I can probably take off A and D, too. And—
“But no one could unlock the door, right?”
“Yeah. But I was thinking...”
I told Lupe to follow me back to the scene of the crime. Before, I was so shocked that I couldn’t observe things carefully, but there was something bothering me.
The shed smelled like meat and booze. The air was chilly and creepy, with an animal stink to it. Trying to avoid looking at Chiba, I explained my thoughts to Lupe.
“If the culprit came through this door and made Chiba drink something, I don’t think he would have fallen that way with his back to us.”
Well, if he thought he was going to be killed, maybe he tried to run away, but though he may not look it, Chiba is a level 90ish adventurer. If the murderer was one of the girls, I’m sure he had a thing or two he could have done before fleeing, even with both of his hands tied. Of course, once I say that, then the issue becomes that the only girl here who could kill him is me.
Whether he was forced to drink poison or tricked into it, the positioning of his body struck me as strange. He had fallen facing away from the door.
“And these walls are full of gaps. There aren’t any lights or windows, but you can still see with the sun coming in. This place is totally run down.”
In other words, if Chiba wanted to, he could have busted through a wall to escape. So why didn’t he...? He could no longer answer that question. Maybe he was just too stupid to realize it was an option.He really was an idiot, right to the end.
“Look at this.”
“What...? Footprints?”
The culprit had stepped in the blood Chiba had coughed up. It was only a partial print of the shoe’s sole, so it was hard to make out, but the feet were small. Probably a girl’s. The footprints appeared on several boxes and chairs stacked in the back and then stopped before the wall.
“Huh?!”
Just as I thought, part of the wall was missing. There was a hole just big enough for a girl to use. To test it, I tried going through and escaped with no issues.
“Lupe, you come, too.”
“S-Sure. I’m a little nervous, but...”
It was up high, so it was a little dangerous, but Lupe also managed to get out that way. Sun and chirping insects. The air outside was bright.
You didn’t even need a key to get into the shed in the first place. But if it was a secret entrance that not even Lupe knew about, the culprit probably had to be quite a veteran.
I glared up at the brothel. The one who killed Chiba had to be in there. I totally understood how they felt, but that didn’t mean it was okay to actually do it.
“Lupe, let’s inspect Chiba’s body next. I want to know precisely how he was killed.”
“Err, uh, uhh...”
Really, I didn’t want to look either. But at this rate, I wouldn’t be able to avenge him.I have to catch the criminal!
“Let’s go. I’m gonna track down the culprit for sure.”
I grabbed Lupe’s hand, and we went back around the shed.
Then came another shock—a shock so shocking I thought I might die, myself.
Chiba’s body was gone.
“Whaaaat?!”
Lupe and I both collapsed again.
What the fuck, I hate this. Chiba, have you turned into a mysterious phenomenon now? You are the biggest damned handful. Couldn’t you at least chill out once you’re dead? Your hyperactivity is off the charts!
“Did someone...steal the body or something?”
But it was probably less than a minute since we had found the secret entrance, left the she
d, and come back around. Could someone really have gotten away with a dead body during that time?
We just stood there in the empty shed, flabbergasted. Eventually Lupe thumped her palm with a fist.
“Maybe Chiba wasn’t dead after all!”
“Oh!”
Lupe sounded so happy that I shared her relief almost before I knew it. But was that really okay? Then what was the blood? And his heart had stopped. It was still too soon to be happy. He could have just turned into a zombie.
This is a brothel in another world! There’s no telling what could happen!
“Anyhow, we have to look for Chiba, or what used to be Chiba. He can’t have gone far.”
We couldn’t find any footprints, and when we went out to the street, we didn’t spot anyone suspicious. And if a turtle-tied zombie were shambling around, there would be some kind of commotion. We didn’t see anything like that, either.
Then is he inside Blue Cat Nocturne?
We went back to investigate the brothel. Nothing seemed terribly different from the last time; some people were moving around cleaning or getting ready for later. The garbage bins were clean. All of the band members were in the shop. In the kitchen, prep for the food that would be served to customers was proceeding, and the plates from all the cake we had passed out were there.
There were no new objects or people to speak of. And no one was missing. No Chiba.
We went around and questioned everyone again.
Girl A: I was taking the trash out by the street. I didn’t see the panty thief.
Girl B: I didn’t see anything, but...Girl C was rushing around.
Girl C: You’re so obnoxious! What I do is none of your business.
Girl D: I’ve been cleaning the whole time. Girl A is so dumb, I can’t stand it.
Girl E: I was getting things ready around the shop with Girl F. The band was practicing the whole time.
Girl F: I was prepping around the shop. The band was here, but I didn’t see anyone shady.
Girls G-L: [omitted]
Girl M: Girl A was slacking off on the bench out front.
What is with Girl C?
Isn’t that a bit rude? Someonediedyou know!
We weren’t getting anywhere. Other than that girl hating me more, there wasn’t any new info.What’s so bad about me, anyhow? I really don’t get her at all!
I sat at the table with my head in my hands. I was so sick of how stupid I was that I started bonking it with my fists.
Chiba had been killed, and Chiba or what had been Chiba was gone, and there was nothing I could do for him. I couldn’t do a single friendly thing for him, even in the end. Even though he probably had regrets, too.
What the hell.These cheat skills are worthless. I never have the ones I need. For example, if there were a Detective skill, or a Buddy skill, or a Body-is-a-Child-but-Brain-is-an-Adult skill, then I’d be able to beat the crap out of the perpetrator.
I mean seriously. Dig? Bind? I didn’t want abilities like that. But it’s my job—I don’t get to choose whose powers I absorb. And the first person I actually wanted to sleep with didn’t give me anything.
I realized my body was emitting a mysterious aura. If this was how it was going to be, I just needed to sleep with someone. It seemed a little against the rules, but I’d just have to go at random. I had to just fuck till I got a skill I could use.Welcome to the underground in another world. Former Tokyo high-schooler Haru Koyama, 18 years old... She’s coming for you, other world boys!
“Haru, c’mere for a second.”
“Hm?”
Just as I was getting desperate, Lupe motioned to me from the kitchen. I wondered what she wanted to show me, and it was the empty cake plates.Err, we just saw these, and we even counted them.
“What about them?”
“Mm, it might not have anything to do with anything, but wasn’t there an extra piece of cake?”
“Was there?”
I was pretty sure I had bought just the right amount. Lupe and I had passed out the slices together, even—one per person.
“...So, it’s only a maybe, but...” Lupe seemed to be having trouble spitting it out, and she tugged on her skirt, fidgeting. “I might know where Chiba is.”
The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime. I was supposedly the detective, but I, too, brazenly went back to the place I’d already returned to a zillion times, along with Lupe—the shed at Blue Cat Nocturne.
That’s where today’s criminal-slash-victim-slash-living dead was sitting on the floor, licking his sticky cake fingers.
“Oh shit!” When he realized he was caught, he whisked the cake behind his back.
The evening sun shining through the gaps in the rundown shed reflected off the red head any Carp fan would be proud of. His sad features made me think for a second that he was a living corpse, but then I thought,Wait, he was always like that,as my head straightened itself out.
Gunma had come back to life. It was a Kantō miracle.
“You...idiot!”I’m gonna wring your neck!I grabbed him. I was so pissed, I figured I would at least scream in his ear. “You stupid idiot! You should have just died! I was wishing you would! Ahhhhhgh!”
I’d had it with his bullshit and was so frustrated, but at the same time relieved, so I ended up crying some confusing tears. He really was a dipshit. So much so that I feel bad for the Carp. I was mortified that this was the only other person from my hometown in this world. He was my shame. My dark past in real time. But then...
“...What’s wrong with her?” He played dumb.
“She’s relieved, duh.” Even Lupe seemed to be having a bizarre misunderstanding.
Man, I was so pissed.
And then—
“What’s your excuse?!”
Chiba was turtle-tied again on the ground outside the shed, and I got back to grilling him.
When I really thought about everything that had happened so far, it was so not funny—I wasmad. Why did I have to get freaked out and run around like crazy for this idiot? From beginning to end, it made zero sense.
Should I deactivate LevBi (my skill Level Bind)?
Should I just kill him?
“Uhhh....umm...” Chiba’s eyes got shifty. He looked at the brothel, then at me, then at Lupe, and bit his lip. “It’s true. I couldn’t control my sexual curiosity, and I stole the underwear. Because I love panties! I adore panties! Maybe I’m a pervert!”
“We know that! I’m asking about what happened after that. Why did you pretend to be dead? You weren’t actually, right?”
“Huh? I was just tripping, I guess you could say...”
“Tripping?”
Chiba blinked and licked his lips before replying. “O-Oh, no, I mean...playing dead was... It’s my newest skill that I acquired training in the demon forest. There’re bears in there, you know.”
“Bears, huh? You don’t say. Ugh, they’re like the strongest forest animal, aren’t they?” Not only demons, but bears, too? Ack. If I ever go into the woods again, I’ll wear a bell on my hip.
“I mean, Haru, you were saying to call the soldiers and have me executed. I was scared. I figured I would just die before you did that, was all.”
“Agh... Isn’t that pretty low?! Chiba, this is why I...geez.”
Lupe said, “Well, well,” to calm me down. “It was nothing, so why don’t we just be happy with that. We don’t have to worry about him dying or being killed anymore.”
How sweet of her to go so easy on him. Is her whole body made of sugar? I’d love to eat her up.
If you worry about every poor fool you meet, you’ll never last. How was she born so kind?
Seriously, what do I have to do to be a person like her...?
“The underwear have been returned, Chiba is fine, so we’re good, right?”
She rubbed my back, and I began to calm down a bit.Yeah. Everything turned out fine.Although some things still didn’t sit quite right with me.
“Mm, but wait a
sec. The mystery isn’t even solved yet. Who was sneaking in and out through the secret entrance?”
Someone had left tracks after stepping in Chiba’s blood. I was pretty sure there was still a third party who hadn’t appeared yet.
“Huh? An entrance? No, th-that was...”
Chiba was clearly shaken. My intuition as a detective (not powers of deduction) had alarm bells ringing in my head. He was hiding something. There was definitely more to this.What should I do? Deactivate LeveBi after all? Voluntary questioning via violence?
“S-Sorry, that was...me!” Lupe suddenly stood up straight as a rod and confessed.
It was so unexpected that both Chiba and I yelped, “Huh?!”
“Uhh, I actually knew about that entrance before, sorry. I used to, right, come here to slack off during work. I’m really sorry. And then, uh, I wondered how Chiba was doing, so when we got back from shopping—no, sorry, before we went shopping, I peeked in on him.”
When she got to the part about how she’d found him collapsed, she fell silent. Like a humanoid robot who had abruptly finished its storefront demonstration, she froze with the floundering conversation in both hands, wondering which way to take it.
Her eyes alone moved quickly to look at Chiba. Having received that baton and being physically unable to move, Chiba turned just his eyes on me in the same way.
Huh? Me?
Since their through balls all landed at my feet, for some reason, I decided to think about it. “It was dim in there, and you thought he was only sleeping...?”
“Yes, exactly!” Lupe and Chiba exclaimed in harmony.
Having picked up some momentum, I continued my line of reasoning. “But later when you learned he was dead, you were worried you would be a suspect, so you didn’t say anything...?”
“Yes, that’s really what I thought, Haru!”
“Are you some kinda genius, Haru?”
Ugh, stop. I’m just making rough guesses. Did I seriously get it right? You gotta be kidding me.
Sheesh, though, it really sounded like some kind of joke. Or like, I thought maybe they’d go through the real solution later without me, but when they were cheering, calling me a genius and a great detective, I got so embarrassed I started squirming. It was like I was actually the other world’s number one detective. We’ll have to face off sometime, Holmes☆