by Ko Hiratori
He told me that if I was going to come, I had to be serious, but unfortunately for him, I was serious in a different way than he expected.
I want you to listen without getting freaked. And please don’t back away. This is me being serious.
“On the contrary, don’t you think it could all start from here?”
I slipped the shoulder of my wet dress down and showed some skin.
When I’m facing the man I love, I don’t want to wield some dangerous object—I want to get naked asap. That’s how I really feel, and even though I’ve seen your true form, it doesn’t change.
I didn’t think he would allow it. He didn’t care about my feelings. I’m sure he just thought I was a nympho.
But I do this for a living. And I’ve risked my life getting this far.
He growled in his throat. But I refused to take a single step back. I was going to make something of this love.
Sorry, Kiyori. This will cause trouble for you. I’m really sorry I’m not going to defeat the demon lord.
When I get back, let’s eat sweets—you, me, and Lupe...
*
...I was born really far away from here, in the country.
I’m from a sheep-farming family, and I never went to school, so of course I had never seen the city.
So when I was told to become a prostitute, I didn’t really know what it meant.
But my eldest sister was already married, my second elder sister was marrying into the next village over, and my younger brother was still little. I more or less understood the idea that because of the bad weather the previous year, I would have to sell myself somewhere in order to pay back our debts. And I had friends who had disappeared off somewhere, too.
Anyhow, it meant I wouldn’t have to take care of the sheep anymore. I could undo my gloves and turn them into socks or something. My naughty little brother ruined them so quickly that there were never enough no matter how many I made.
If I start now, I can finish them before I leave. If I work hard, I’m sure I’ll get them done.That’s what I was thinking, knitting silently in my room when I heard a voice from outside calling me.
“Lupe. Wanna go fishing with me?”
I hesitated because I wasn’t finished with my knitting, but said, “Sure,” and left with my fishing pole.
His big hands patted my head and rubbed my back. My big brother was from a slightly better house, relatives of ours, and his father had helped our family out a bunch of times when we were having trouble.
I didn’t really know the details of all that, but my big brother always played with us sisters, so I loved him. I couldn’t tell my sisters, but he even said I was the cutest one.
I dropped my line in the river and waited. The weather was nice, and the breeze was gentle.
There was no one around, so he sidled up to me, said, “Here’s a secret,” and told me I was going to be a prostitute. It seemed like he knew all about it. He asked, “Do you know what you’ll have to do?”
“Not really. I guess sleep with men?”
When I laughed about what a weird job that was, he glanced around and said, “Should I teach you how?”
I said, “Okay.”
Then he grabbed my arm and said we should go “over there.”
When we got home, I told Mama what my brother did to me.
I was crying, but she looked straight at me and said, “You can’t tell anyone about that,” and put a finger to her lips. She said his dad had lined up the prostitute work for me. “He only showed you what your job is going to be. You’ll be doing that every day from now on.”
I told her no way. It hurt and embarrassed me, and I never wanted to do it again.
“Everyone woman does it. You’ll just have to put up with it.”
I didn’t understand why I should have to put up with something like that. I cried and cried that I didn’t want to work that kind of job.
Mama scolded me, “That’s enough. Don’t cry,” and caressed my cheek with her rough hand. “You have nothing, so you’ve got to smile. If you don’t smile, you won’t have anything to eat. Work on being pleasant. That’s your only weapon to survive.”
I thought it was strange to smile if you have nothing. And what’s more, Mama was telling me to smile, but she was crying.
Still, I knew that survival was the most important thing. So I smiled. Mama said, “That’s good,” and hugged me.
And then I became a prostitute at Blue Cat Nocturne.
I hated my mom after that, so I never even wrote her a letter.
That story’s no fun, so I’ve never told it to anyone before.
“I’m Haru. Nice to meet you!”
By the time she came around I was used to the place, and I’d seen lots of girls come and go. That’s why my first impression of her was that she wouldn’t last long.
In a nutshell, I couldn’t take her seriously. She was a weird one. She was fine sleeping with the men, but when it came to living in a woman’s world, she would never fit in.
The number-one seller is the same way, but that’s because she was born in the shop. For someone coming in later, that personality would make things rough.
Eventually things wouldn’t be going very well and she’d either run off without saying anything or transfer to another shop. Or maybe she’d become a slave.
I don’t know what ends up happening to those kinds of girls. But I think that there’s no better life than what they had here, and I’m scared for them.
“I’m Lupe. If you have any questions, just ask.”
So I try to help the new girls by showing them the ropes so at least they wouldn’t have trouble for lack of knowledge.
Still.
“Lupe, what should I do? My underwear got moldy...”
This Haru girl was even more clueless than I imagined. She even went pale in the face thinking the boldgrass we use after washing was mold.
“That’s to soften the fibers. Once it dries you can just shake it off, and your underwear should be all fluffy. Look.”
“Oh, you’re right. Whoa, so this is fabric softener? Is it magic? Wow, this other world is awesome. It’s wild how you guys solve every issue with grass, though. Makes me wonder if I’m high on some or something.”
“How have you been washing your stuff if you didn’t know that...?”
Haru blushed and looked down. I decided not to ask any more.
“Thanks. I’m one notch smarter, now, heh-heh.”
This one was always smiling. I’d even seen her laugh and sling comebacks at the other girls when they were being mean. That’s a pretty important skill to have as a prostitute, so I was a bit impressed.
Her smile didn’t seem fake. She was a girl who could smile enough to hide her real feelings. It made me think she had fought through lots of other situations in the same way. She had a different way of smiling than me, but I figured it was because we were from different places. I didn’t think those places were similar, but I did have the feeling they were close. I was a bit curious.
“You don’t have to be formal with me. There’s not even that big of a gap between our ages.”
When I tried to close the distance between us, sure enough, she went on guard. Maybe I was being pushy. But times like that, if you don’t keep pushing, the wall will never come down. I took her hand. “Come on. Bring the other things you need to wash. I’ll show you how.”
“...This is my only dress.”
“Oh. I see. If you don’t mind a hand-me-down, I’ll give you one of mine. I have one that’ll look cute on you.”
I felt like it was a bit of a waste, but I decided to be generous and give her my favorite. Since the previous year, I’d been making enough as a top seller to save some money, so I could buy a cheap dress anytime. No problem, totally fine.
“Thanks, Lupe! You’re so nice!” Haru squeezed my hand.She’s so easy to understand.
But I’m not nice at all. I just treat people sometimes because if the people around
me aren’t smiling, it’s harder for me to.
And even if I save up money, I can never escape this place, so I might as well use it to make my life here easier. It’s all just for my own survival, not kindness.
There are a few customers who call me Mama. I smile and take it when they slap me, forgive all sorts of things, listen to what they want to say, and for some reason they apparently confuse me with their mothers. So then when I scold them, they bow their heads and apologize.
Men like that are actually pretty cute; even the proudest ones turn into spoiled little boys. It makes work go easier, so I have them call me Mama. Or more like, I can sort of tell which guys have that quality, so I lead them a little.
Of course, men are still men even when they’re being treated kindly, so I don’t let my guard down. I don’t want them to think that just because they give me a present or something I’ll be satisfied, so I have them demonstrate their loyalty in their attitude. I learned how to do that sort of management and taming back on the farm, so as their sheep dog, I sometimes show my teeth—with a growl.
I think work is going well. I’ve been number two in sales ever since last year. Apparently Madam tells the other girls to learn from my example, so I’m always nervous while I’m working.
I may look happy, but I don’t think we should forget why prostitutes smile.
“And then he was like, ‘Muselussable!’ and arched his back like this!”
But lately I’ve been smiling for real, and laughing so hard I could cry more often.
Haru’s good at telling stories. Before I knew it, she had fit in with the other girls. Not only that, but whenever she says, “Speaking of,” everyone turns to listen. Everyone wants to know what she’ll talk about, and she always involves other people and gets them laughing.
The bench she put out in front of the shop is my favorite place now. The chats we started having while it’s still light out, as a little break, end up lasting until right before the shop opens. When I think that I can complain tomorrow to Haru and the others about the stuff I hate today, I can look for the funny stuff and be a little more positive.
...Although it’s a bit—well, pretty lonely with Shequraso gone.
But I made a new friend, Kiyori. We bust out of the brothel to go to Sumo’s cafe and drink tea, and I’ve met more people.
I’ve started to think that maybe I could live a little freer like Haru.
Then one day...
“I think I’m going to take some more time off.”
Haru announced that at one of our regular tea parties. Lately she’s been hanging out with this famous adventurer, Widge, and apparently she’s been going with him into the forest.
She’s not a Sister, so why was she going to a place like that? What was she doing there? I know Madam has said we’re not allowed to do any work outside the brothel, so of course, I reminded her.
“Sorry, Lupe. I’ll make sure to come back, so forgive me.”
Yet she wouldn’t even tell me why she was going. That annoyed me.
It annoyed me, but I’m not good at expressing my dissatisfaction at times like that. Mama was the only one I could be selfish with, and I hate how put out people get if you try to say what you want.
If I couldn’t get through to her by listing the rules and lecturing her, then nothing I could say would get through, so I just accepted it.
“Don’t worry, I’m going along this time. I’ll protect Haru even if it costs me my life.” Kiyori was really putting a lot of energy into this and getting a bit excited.
“Even if it costs me my life”? You know that might actually happen, so why do you say it so casually?Chiba told me there’s such a thing as a “death flag.”
Kiyori is going to die. She’ll be betrayed by Haru.
Nah, that won’t happen.
But oh, so she’s going along.
Hrrm, I thought.
My anxious feelings swelled, and I felt them drop into the pit of my stomach, but all I could do was smile, contrary to how I actually felt, and say, “Got it. Take care.”
Then Haru said, “We’ll catch you a virgin monster (the suspicious-acting demon rumored to be shaped like male genitalia) as a souvenir.”
I told her with a straight face that I really didn’t need one.
“Of course I’m still doing that boring-ass training like you told me to, Mama, but lately it seems like the monsters in the forest have leveled up, and I’ve seen some new types. It made me wonder if maybe the demon lord has finally noticed I’m around.”
I realize that it’s partly just me assuming that I’m the one who taught Haru not only about being a prostitute, but even just common sense. And she talks about herself so much she’s almost too open, so I felt like we didn’t have secrets in our relationship. But when I realized I was moping because I had only convinced myself of that, I decided I was being pretty self-centered.
“I’ve been doing bondage in the woods, too. Err, I mean—not like that. I mean like tying up one part of my body. Ah, that sounds even weirder, but basically the idea is that I give myself a handicap when I fight. It’s super dangerous. I only do it at the entrance to the forest, though, so you don’t have to worry about me.”
There are things I haven’t even told Haru. Like about before I became a prostitute. Everyone has things like that, but especially women doing this sort of work. It’s important to know what you can say and what you shouldn’t.
“In other words, if I remove the bandage from my right hand, the ogre princess will be unleashed—that’s a new part of my backstory. Cool, right? I even fight in the arena using only my left hand, so I think I’m getting stronger. Maybe I really am a genius. I don’t tell anyone else, though—that would be bragging.”
It’s hard to trust people who ramble on about themselves. Their insides seem somehow cheap, or maybe it’s more like they’re just empty.
If Haru felt she could tell Kiyori but that it would be better not to tell me, she must have thought it over, so it was probably the right decision. I’m glad I didn’t get nosy.
So I’m not going to fret about Haru anymore. She has her own life. I should do my best too. Yeah.
“Hey, Mama, are you listening?”
“Uh, yeah. But what happened to your right hand? Your bandage is coming off. You have to wrap it properly.”
“I told you, it’s the seal...eh, whatever.”
I rewrapped his ratty black bandage. Chiba’s doing his best, too. He didn’t seem to be hurt, but he had it wrapped all the way around his fingers. It seemed like it would be hard to even eat.
What a clumsy kid.
“Are you eating? You’re exercising, so you need to make sure to eat a lot.” I fed him some meat off of my plate—“Open wide.”
Chiba glanced around and then quickly ate it up.
He’s just like my little brother—down to the way he pretends to be embarrassed even though he’s a mama’s boy.
That reminded me, since Haru and Kiyori were gone, I’d been having him eat with me sometimes. I needed to tell him he didn’t have to come every day.
When lunch time rolled around, he’d be waiting outside the shop like a puppy. I told him he could come in and ask for me, but he said he was nervous to go in when the shop wasn’t open.
He’s pretty shy. Once you get to know him, though, he talks so much he doesn’t have time for a break. I actually think it’s kind of cute how the first thing he does when he comes to the shop is look around for Haru or me. Although I don’t tell him that because sometimes men get mad if you call them cute.
“Today’s my treat, so order whatever you like, Mama.”
I said, “I feel bad getting treated every day, so just come now and then.”
But Chiba pushed back harder than necessary. “It’s fine. I only ever eat out, so it’s just convenient. No problem.”
He didn’t mean anything bad by “while I’m at it.” He just didn’t know any other way to say it. But he had decided to treat me e
very day—since he was at it anyway.
“Thanks. But don’t you have anyone else you want to eat with?”
“Huh? Why would I?”
He looked to the left. I could tell he was lying.
And I noticed something during the panty-thieving incident. I think he’s seeing that girl. And since it’s her, she told him not to tell anyone. Especially not Haru or me.
I can imagine what sort of relationship they have. Maybe Chiba is teaching her naughty games. But I’ll pretend I don’t notice. It’s like a silent agreement we’ve built up over all the years we’ve been together. I can’t make any judgements about what she does.
“Well, it’s not as if other people don’t invite me, but I wanna eat with you, Mama!”
Apparently he used to pester Haru to go live with him. I heard that when he was dating Kiyori he made her cook and clean for him. I couldn’t really imagine what it must be like withher. He’s never said anything like that to me. He probably doesn’t want to show me inside his house—because he’s a slob.
He’s happiest when he’s with Haru, puts on the most airs when he’s with Kiyori, and tries to act all kind and cool when he’s with me. The strangest thing about Chiba, I think, is how he acts differently around different women; that’s rare for a man.
I think I’ve educated him as a customer, but people’s personalities don’t change so easily, and the parts I don’t understand remain incomprehensible. In his case, there are still lots of times I have no idea what he’s talking about. But he has a very active imagination, so his stories can be surprisingly interesting.
He doesn’t seem to have many friends, but I feel like if he wanted to, he could get really good at being social. Maybe even turn into a popular prostitute.
But he doesn’t seem to take that much interest in other people. Unless you move toward him, the distance won’t shrink. In that way, he’s the opposite of Haru. She’s more the type to come to you.
They say they’re from the same village, but I wonder what sort of place it is. How does it end up producing two people who are so different?
“It seems like you weren’t listening, so I’ll say it one more time—you’re the one who’s most important to me, Mama!”