by Ko Hiratori
“Seriouslyyyy?”
Airi and Moka were wincing and saying “This sucks”and whatnot.
I sighed like a pig after a meal.
Lemme tell ya, you guys are going to witness something so shocking that, “This sucks” won’t even begin to cover it, so just take my word for it and go.
“Oh, wait. I’ll come with.”
Once Haru put her hand up, the gang was all there.
There were only two hours left until the accident.
For some reason, my stomach was cramping.
{T minus 00:20 to the truck accident}
I was nervous.
In just a little while I would be transported to another world.
The feeling was a mix ofFinally I can go back, andMan, I have to go again.
Was the other world really so great?I wondered.Was there nothing I left undone in this one? Was today really such a horrible day?
Haru said “g’morning” to me on the bus.
Since I knew Haru in the other world, and I knew this would end today, I just tried it without any expectations, but even if I hadn’t known anything, the result probably would have been the same.
She’s a girl I rode the bus with every morning who had no issues having a single-word conversation with me. I don’t know what she was thinking inside, but a classmate will do that much, at least.
So I was glad I tried it. Even if it was yesterday’s bus—well, a bus from a year ago.
“Thanks, Sekiguchi! It’s great to be able to count on you.”
See?
She’s a girl who can be friendly even to a gross otaku. It’s not fair. I could have started from there—if I had just completed the events like normal.
And even without knowing the Haru Koyama from the other world, there was probably a route where we could have at least become acquaintances.
That thought made me scared.
I had the feeling there were actually a lot of things I’d left undone. I felt like even the things I had failed at, I could do over. It started to feel like a waste to die.
No, that’s not right. I have someone waiting for me in the other world. I’m not this guy anymore.So I had to—
“Oh right, we have to go shopping.”
—get going already.
{T minus 00:05 to the truck accident}
From the moment we left school, we split naturally into two groups. Sekiguchi and I walked behind the others. Hamazawa, who was frustrated at not fitting into either group, I had talked to once about cards or something.
I remembered I was really patronizing that time.I wonder how she would react if I tried saying something to her now.
I pondered the possibilities indecisively—even though it was already far too late.
In five more minutes, everything was going to end. Haru Koyama would fall from the top caste at school and land in another world as a sex worker. And I, who was at the bottom, would be a famous adventurer before I hit my level cap.
After that, it’s just a world where you have to work you way up on your own. The miracle ends with a single cheat.
Am I really going? What am I, a chip to barter with?But could I really choose to live here—in a world without Haru?
{T minus 00:02 to the truck accident}
I see. I’m stuck. It doesn’t matter if I abandon her or go with. Just because I change worlds doesn’t mean I change.
In other words, I could have just changed right here. Even today was so easy.
If not Haru, maybe there was another girl I could have gotten along with. Even the old me might have been able to find a girl he wanted to protect.
“Hey, after we shop, wanna go hang out somewhere?”
Baseball Mob asked the girls.
Sekiguchi looked up, and so did Hamazawa. Our eyes met.
I looked straight at Haru.
{T minus 00:01 to the truck accident}
“Oh, it’s my boyfriend!” When Haru checked her phone in response to the LINE chime, she looked happy.
The conversation was cut off. Haru stopped to talk on the phone and let the rest of the front row go ahead.
I had heard this higher-pitched voice of hers at the brothel, too. I was the only one who knew that this girl who had a habit of playing with her long hair would cut it all off in another world.
That she could be really blunt and annoying, that she actually had a lot of heart, that she was quick to anger, and that she was a freak in the sheets were also things I would learn in the other world.
Before I knew those things, I think I had a crush on Haru Koyama. It was entirely based on looks—because she’s super pretty.
So I was happy you took my virginity. I am truly grateful for that—thank you.
But you’re not who I really like anymore. And I doubt you ever really liked me.
Yeah, we shouldn’t have had sex. If we had taken our time, we might have become friends, and I might even still have had a crush on you.
But it’s too late for that now.
I would probably run to save you any number of times.I want to go to the other world; I want her to think I’m cool; and if I can fuck her, I wanna do that, too.
The sky that had been cloudy since the morning opened up a crack to pour sunshine down on her.
She really was the pinnacle of our class. A flower growing too high up for any otaku to pick.
You really were the cutest.
I took the phone out of her hand and ended the call.
{T minus 00:00:30 to the truck accident}
“...What the—?” Haru frowned. Like,Who the hell are you?
I know you don’t know me. So I’ll tell you who I am right now.
“I’m the man who’s going to save you.”
She looked even more confused. But it wasn’t a lie. I go first. The truck hits me a fraction of a second before her.
That means that I was in the other world just a moment before she was. I protected her.
“And not just you. I’m saving Mama, Kiyori, and Kizuha, too. That’s why I’m going to the other world. Not to start over, but to start.”
“Uh, I have no idea what you’re talking about. What’s up with you? You’re kinda scaring me.”
“What’s scary is what happens next. But you don’t have to worry. Destiny won’t change. We’re going to die.”
“Umm, you’re really freakin’ me out here!”
From a distance, I heard a sound like something ripping, the squeal of skidding tires.
{Truck accident initiates}
“Uh, what’s that truck doing?”
The group up ahead noticed the runaway truck.
We had about five seconds left.
And I had the feeling I would never be back here again.
{T minus 00:00:05 to being transported to another world}
“Koyama!”
Sekiguchi shouted.
But he wouldn’t make it in time. Neither would Baseball Mob.No matter how many times we do this, the outcome will be the same.
So I turned my back to Haru and stepped into the road.
{T minus 00:00:04 → 00:00:03 to being transported to another world}
I’m beating my record. How much faster can I get to the other world than Haru?Although I also felt like I could stop the truck with one hand.
Haru still didn’t realize what was going on. Sekiguchi and Baseball Mob were falling. Hamazawa was screaming. The other girls were frozen.
Maybe I had tachypsychia—time seemed to flow in slow-motion around me.
{T minus 00:00:03 → 00:00:01 to being transported to another world}
Farewell, World.
I hated you. But I’m going to do things right in the next one, so please root for me. I won’t forget what you taught me. I can’t really find the perfect words, and I’m out of time anyhow, but basically I just feel like, “Thanks for everything.”
Haru turned around. It cracked me up that the look was still,Who’s this guy, again?
You get t
o know me after this. I don’t know the real you, either.
If the two of us have anything in common, it’s that we discovered our true selves in the other world.In this world, I was too awkward, and you were too good at everything.
Everyone listen up. I’m going to tell you who I am. This is my first and last greeting. After that, hurry up and forget about me.
I yelled so loud I thought my throat would burst.
“I am Endless Crimson Raaaaaaaaaaaaain!”
*
Mama Lupe wasn’t looking so great today, like yesterday.
I talked excitedly as usual.
She must be tired.I mean, she had that job after all, so I did my best not to pry. I want to know, but I don’t ask. I only talk about fun stuff.
Her affection for me is exploding. I’m gonna wait for her until she says she wants to be my wife, you know.
“What kind of person do you want to be when you grow up?”
When I patiently continued the conversation, a good question came up. I’m good at talking about the future. And I wanted to tell her about it.
“I want to punch God.”
I want to rebuild the world into a better place, and I have an effective plan to do so.
Frankly, I don’t think I’ll be able to punch out the demon lord even if I spend a few hundred more years trying. But I think I can sock it to that joke of a god—if I train more.
And I’ll change the world’s system. I’ll reevaluate how skills are allotted. And when I do that, I should take away the gap between the sexes. I need to lift up the bottom of humanity. If I do that, even the demon lord will start to feel the heat. And it’ll make Mama happy.
So I’ll make God get it all done. It’s his responsibility in the first place. I’ll pop him one to wake him up. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who can do that.
Mama Lupe started to cry, she was so moved.Dang. If she takes me that seriously, I really have to do it.But I bet this was a critical hit. She must have fallen for me now.
Still, I think it’ll take some time. I get that I’m talking like a dreamer. And it’s not like I train so hard every day; I’m sure I’ll have some setbacks.
But if you’ll wait for me... If you’ll root for me...
“Are you really going to hit him?”
I took her little hands in mine.
Someday I’m going to save this other world (and you). Just watch me.
Live It Up While You’re Young With Ramen! (Maruwa X JK Haru Collabo Short Story)
It’s been a while. This is Kiyori.
We were at Mr. Sumo’s cafe again enjoying tea on the “terrace” (which I guess is what we call the outdoor seats). I can be myself with these friends, and our meeting had become part of my daily schedule; we talk about all sorts of things.
Miss Haru was joking around as usual in high spirits. Miss Lupe laughed adorably, providing backup for Miss Haru, who often gets a little extreme in her conversation topics. I don’t know much about the world, so her jokes are actually quite educational for me. Of course, they’re all sinful words I could never repeat, myself.
But even when I talk about boring things, these people listen. And for some reason they laugh, so I find myself becoming chatty, too. It’s a lot of fun.
Today’s tea was very fragrant. Apparently Mr. Sumo creates the blend himself. It has depth, yet it’s refreshing. There’s a hint of citrus. Perhaps he made it in Miss Haru’s image. I’ll have to get him to teach me what he used.
The cake was so elaborate that I felt bad demolishing it. I don’t think there are many people who can make such delicate sweets.
What a charming shape. Stabbing it with a fork would be such a waste.I hesitated, but when I gathered my resolve and took a bite, the gentle sweetness did me in. The soft texture on my tongue was delightful. The scent of vani and the acidity of rasp bloomed in my mouth and then sadly melted away.
I regretted the waste, but once I started eating it, there was no stopping.Mmm. I trembled. My entire body was thrilled by the subtle sweetness.Mr. Sumo is amazing.
It must be because he puts serious thought into coming up with food Miss Haru will like. His intense kindness permeated the very core of my being and gave me a warm feeling.
I’m so happy to eat with you all...truly.
—Suddenly a cup and saucer clattered.
Miss Haru, clenching a fork with cake on it in one hand, pounded the table with both fists.
Miss Lupe and I were startled and curled in on ourselves. The other customers were looking at us. Even Mr. Sumo came thumping out of the kitchen.
Miss Haru slowly lifted her head with a stern look on her face.
“I wanna eat ramen...!”
Every one of us cocked our heads.
What is ‘ramen,’ I wonder.
I didn’t know, but I had a bad feeling, so I apologized to God on her behalf.
Maybe it’s another of her indecent jokes.
*
“No, why would I say that? It’s a real food. It’s slurpy and warms you up. It’s like uh, these really long things, and the soup is all rich, and it’s super tasty. You haven’t heard of it?”
Miss Haru was mad and her face was bright red. Apparently she really wanted to eat this thing called ramen and was trying to explain what it was with her faltering vocabulary.
Super tasty, slurpy, and rich?
I couldn’t think of what that was.And what does “rich” mean, exactly, in that context?Mr. Sumo didn’t seem to have any idea what it was either, and his head just stayed cocked. It was leaning over so far I thought it might fall off, which was frightening.
“I guess it doesn’t exist here...” Miss Haru was disappointed.
I felt sort of sorry for her. I’m the only one who knows, but she and Mr. Crimson Chiba are from another world. They’re heroes. Even if they don’t seem like it.
So they’re having a hard time making it in this unfamiliar world. But actually, according to the little bit she told me, there are quite a few similarities between this world and hers, so she hasn’t had that much trouble. And I would imagine that God chose heroes from a world that would work out.
But there are also differences, of course, and if the technology, ingredients, or system doesn’t exist, then they can’t get a hold of some things no matter how badly they want them. For example, ramen.
“But once you want ramen, you can’t stop thinking about it...!”
Miss Haru cradled her head and began to suffer.
What could this ramen be? Some kind of hazardous plant?
“If you want to eat it so badly, why not try making it yourself, Haru?”
Miss Lupe offered a pointed solution in an easygoing way. Miss Haru doesn’t look it, but she’s a talented cook. I heard that sometimes she cooks at Blue Cat Nocturne.
“Impossible. I can’t make something if I don’t know how. Ramen is hard. For starters, the things called noodles, they’re in a soup.” Miss Haru made a gesture like she was grabbing something and then shredding it. “Like this, I think?”
It did look difficult. Even so, Mr. Sumo said, “I’ll figure something out,” and nodded reassuringly.
*
“I’m not sure, but I think you could make the noodles with the recipe for sponge cake, just without the sugar. I have a feeling they’re practically the same.”
We borrowed Sumo’s kitchen and began to cook based on Miss Haru’s hazy memories.
We started with the “men” part of the ramen.
“Once it’s ready, we stretch it out likebyooooo.”
When Mr. Sumo’s big hands stretched the dough, it flopped apart.
Are you supposed to stretch it or roll it out?
I may not look like it, but I’m pretty good at making cookies. I’ve never seen dough used like this, though...
“But I’ve seen them getting stretched before! Ramen noodles are long and thin!”
Miss Haru explained it with all her might, but if she doesn’t know the
correct way to make them herself, how were we supposed to get it? We were all getting frustrated.
These “men” noodles were supposedly long, thin, and curly. I made up my mind to ask her—if she was sure she wasn’t making an indecent joke.
“Kiyori, how big of a pervert do you think I am? I really just want to make the noodles. Ugh, why isn’t it working? I know they use flour...”
“Flower?” Miss Lupe reacted to the unfamiliar word.
“Oh,” said Miss Haru. “I mean vloua,” she restated.
She has to convert things that are similar in her world as she’s explaining.Yes, Miss Haru is the one having the most frustrating time. We’ve got to support her.
“What if we put aside the ‘men’ for now and started with the ‘ra’?”
I felt like that was a pretty constructive suggestion, but Miss Haru jabbed back, “What’s ‘ra’ supposed to be?!”
Well, how would I know?
“Actually...whatis‘ra’?” Miss Haru jabbed at herself, too, cocking her head. I started to really wonder what we were trying to make. “But yeah, you’re right. Let’s make the soup first. That must be the ‘ra.’”
Apparently ramen is soup with noodles and other ingredients in it. Once she explained it that way, I felt I could sort of picture it. In Miss Haru’s world they have things like soup and stew, too, so I figured it had to be something similar to those.
Incidentally, we make soup by simmering and seasoning something like fond root or chikenbown nuts.
“I’m pretty sure they used the bones of an animal to make the stock...”
Miss Haru’s murmur gave me goosebumps. I’d never heard of anyone eating such a thing. Miss Lupe and Mr. Sumo glanced at each other in surprise.
“Huh? Hold on. Where I lived it was normal. It’s really good! I’m not kidding.”