by Leslie North
It was true. She’d never been this fucking happy.
Not until Daniel.
Jackie strutted her way into the restaurant. The rehearsal dinner was a misnomer, Grayson had explained earlier that week. They weren’t even having a rehearsal that day, since the wedding party was relatively small, so it was more of a chance to get all their friends and family together in one place now that everyone had arrived.
The murmur of voices reached her first. Their party had tripled in size from the group she’d gotten used to. There were so many new faces—parents, grandparents, and plenty of well-coiffed peers. Jackie didn’t feel the urge to shrink, though. She had the hang of this whole friends-with-wealth thing.
She ran into Mila first, who greeted her with a hug and immediately introduced her to her parents and brother. After Jackie shook everyone’s hands, Mila heaved a sigh.
“You feeling okay there, mama?” Jackie asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She grimaced, rubbing at her belly. “This kid is just pushing on my bladder like nobody’s business today. I’m hoping she lays off a little for the actual ceremony. The bride can’t take a bathroom break in the middle of the vows!”
Jackie snickered. “You’ll both do great. Well, all three of you—can’t forget Grayson.”
Mila smirked, her gaze stuck on her groom as he sauntered nearby, schmoozing some newly-arrived friends. “No. We can’t forget that handsome devil. He’s the one who helped bring about the bladder destroyer, after all.”
Jackie and Mila shared a warm smile. It felt like she’d known Mila for years instead of days—and if this thing with Daniel worked out, she already looked forward to having her girl squad with Mila. The two of them chatted for a bit longer, observing the people milling around. A tall, shockingly thin and put together blonde drifted their way, looking a little lost.
“Are you Mila?” the blonde asked.
“Yes, that’s me! Hi! Who are you?”
“I’m Tania.” Tania offered her hand to Mila. “It’s so great to meet you finally. I’ve heard so much about you from the guys.”
From the guys. She could only be referring to the trio of best friends. Jackie stiffened, wondering just how well she knew the guys—and which one she knew the best. She stuck out a hand anyway. “Hi, Tania. I’m Jackie. Nice to meet you.”
“I’m so happy you could make it,” Mila went on. “How do you know Grayson and his friends?”
“We were in the same MBA program,” Tania said, flashing both of them a pretty grin. “We would all pal around on weekends, take our minds off schoolwork by playing doubles and getting drunk afterward.”
“Sometimes, I feel like I would pay serious money to have known Grayson before he started his own business,” Mila said with a laugh. “So you possess very important knowledge!”
“I feel the same about Daniel,” Jackie chimed in.
Tania’s face fell slightly, turning to Jackie. “Oh? You mean Daniel Trent?”
“Yes,” Mila enthused. “Jackie is Daniel’s girlfriend.”
Jackie flashed a grin, relishing the repressed wave of realization that washed over Tania’s face. And yes, that was a hint of jealousy she caught as well. She wasn’t one to get haughty, but there was something so gratifying in this moment. Finally being able to say that she was with a man who commanded respect, and even envy. “Yes, we’ve been together for…a while.”
Tania offered up a smile, looking between the two of them. “Well, this venue is spectacular!”
The conversation continued, Jackie keeping an eye out for Daniel as they spoke. Finally, Mila was called away by her parents, who waved her over so that she could join in their conversation. Mila excused herself, leaving Tania and Jackie smiling awkwardly at each other.
Jackie wracked her brain for something to talk about now. Maybe this was the time for the polite excuse to use the restroom…
“So how long have you and Daniel been together?” Tania asked brightly.
“Several months,” Jackie said, her mouth going dry though she wasn’t sure why.
Tania nodded, her gaze darting across Jackie’s face. “So you know how much he works, then.”
There was something in Tania’s tone that felt less conversational and more like a confession. Woman-to-woman. A knot cinched tight, deep in her gut. “Well, yes. Of course. He’s such a hard worker.”
Tania deflated slightly, glancing around. Jackie didn’t like where this conversation was heading one bit. “Well, I hope you have better luck than I did. Getting that man to focus on anything other than his email inbox was like pulling teeth.”
Suddenly, it all clicked into place. She was talking to his ex. Daniel has an ex! Part of her wished Daniel was here, to help her navigate this strange situation. Maybe he could explain it all away with a few words—she was a fling, once upon a time. Or maybe she should take this opportunity, without Daniel there to interrupt, to learn as much as she could from Tania.
“So I take it you two dated?” Jackie ventured.
“If you can call it that.” Tania laughed, her perfectly pink lips sparkling as she tossed her hair. “No, we tried a thing. It didn’t work. I really wanted it to. I won’t lie about that. But it ended when I realized I was just a convenient person to call on the rare occasion that he came home.”
Jackie swallowed, hiding her unease behind a nervous laugh.
“Daniel’s a great guy. I hope you don’t think I’m being mean or unfair to him. But also, we women need to look out for each other, don’t we? I just don’t want you to be as hurt as I was. Daniel always has one foot out the door. Business is all that matters to him—romance will never come in higher than a distant second place.”
The more that Tania spoke, the more that Jackie felt like she could sink back and melt into the ground. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that whatever deal he’s managing at the time—whether it’s in Dubai or Barcelona or whatever exotic place he’s visiting—it’s always going to be more important than whoever’s waiting at home for him. I learned that the hard way. And maybe that’s not the case for you two, but if it is?” Tania sent her a deeply sympathetic look. “Save yourself the heartache.”
Jackie’s head was spinning as she stared at Tania, unable to decide what the best response might be. Deep in her heart, Jackie could tell that the woman was sincerely concerned, and she appreciated what Tania was trying to do. But also, part of her wanted to rail against Tania’s warning. To refute it, reject it, completely deny it.
But this was someone who had known Daniel for years, who knew the way he operated. The truth was, she didn’t truly have anything with Daniel other than two weeks, one of which was spent living in his guest room as his displaced house sitter.
Tania was probably right.
This was a warning that Jackie should consider a blessing, if she was smart.
11
“Oh, look.” Jackie’s voice sounded watery to her own ears. She pasted on a smile as she spotted Daniel and Blake coming into the restaurant. Despite the heavy warning from Tania, she was still relieved to see him. For now, at least. “There he is.”
Tania twisted around, some of the tension in her face disappearing. Jackie took a step away from Tania, drawing a deep breath to try to clear the air and clear her head before Daniel arrived. So that he wouldn’t show up and immediately know that she and Tania had been talking about him, or their dating history. And definitely so he wouldn’t know that it had almost brought her to the point of tears.
“Hey, Tania.” Daniel offered an easygoing smile as he walked up to them. He immediately slid his arm around Jackie’s waist, bringing her against him like it was the most natural thing in the world. Which normally, would have been a relief. But right now, it just felt awkward and forced.
“Good to see you, Daniel. Glad to know you three are still as tight as ever.”
“Some things never change.”
Jackie stiffened beneath his grip at those words. God, Dan
iel was confirming everything that Tania had said about him, without even realizing. She kept up the smiles and laughs as Tania and Daniel chatted, and when Tania finally wandered away to go say hi to Blake, Jackie felt so exhausted that she could crumble.
“How have things been?” Daniel asked, squeezing the top of her hip. He must have noticed her face, or her thinly veiled internal terror, because he followed it up with, “Did Tania say something to you?”
“Why would you ask that?”
“Because you’re acting a little weird.”
Was she? She couldn’t even tell anymore, since Tania had detonated the atom bomb right in the center of Jackie’s excitement and forward-thinking plans with Daniel.
“We chatted. Nothing unusual.”
Daniel didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure?”
Jackie gnawed at the inside of her lip, wondering how much she should admit. “She mentioned you guys used to date.”
Daniel nodded, looking across the room. “Yeah, I figured. She always had a thing for me in grad school, and we finally gave it a try a few years ago. But it didn’t work out.”
Of course it didn’t work out. Because it won’t ever work out with anyone. Least of all me. She scanned the room, trying to find the best diversion tactic. She spotted the bar across the room. “You want me to get us drinks?”
“Let’s go together.”
“No, let me grab them. That way you can mingle, you know? Chat with your friends. Your exes. Whoever.”
Daniel narrowed his eyes. “Jackie. What else did she say to you?”
“Nothing! I swear it was nothing. It was just…weird.”
Daniel hefted. “Yeah. I bet. But if she made it out to be some grand romance, then she was lying—either to you or to herself. Believe me when I say that she was truly an unremarkable blip on my radar.” He must have caught a look on Jackie’s face that said she wasn’t convinced, because he added, “I can’t even remember what it was like with her. That’s how unremarkable it was.”
He pulled her in for a kiss before she walked away, which she allowed, but if anything, his words only made things worse. Would there come a time when he was taking about her that way? That she was an unremarkable blip, while Jackie’s life might never be the same because of what they’d shared? From the way Tania had put it, Jackie got the sense that this was a chronic problem of Daniel’s—that women fell in love with him while he remained indifferent and unattached. He hadn’t seemed indifferent the previous night…but maybe he was always like that, in the moment. Maybe he made every woman feel special and treasured…right up until he forgot them to focus on business again. What if Tania was Future Jackie? Daniel might have altered her world just the same way. There couldn’t be any other explanation as to why she’d warn off a new love interest of Daniel’s. After all, the usual MO for women watching others date their exes was figure it out for yourself. Jackie’s skin buzzed with the unsavory revelation as she walked on wooden legs toward the bar.
Nothing was guaranteed with Daniel—and she shouldn’t forget that. If anything, she needed to keep focused. In that way, Tania showing up was a godsend. Clearly, she’d desperately needed the reminder that Daniel didn’t stop for anybody. And in the long history of remarkable women and experiences he’d had access to…Jackie would do well to remember that years down the road, Daniel probably wouldn’t think twice about her either.
By the time she ordered two glasses of Chambourcin, she was feeling lower than ever, which also made her feel guilty. This was Mila and Grayson’s rehearsal dinner—she should at least put on a good show and pretend to be happy and bubbly.
Besides, if she was being honest with herself, she needed to screw her head on straight when it came to Daniel. Which meant keeping herself on track when it came to all the ways that she was falling head over heels for that man. The wedding was tomorrow—and they were leaving the day after that.
And what then? She’d assumed that there would be more—that they both wanted more. But maybe she’d just been fooling herself.
Daniel was lost in conversation with someone when she returned with their drinks. Daniel paused to introduce her as his girlfriend to the well-dressed man who turned out to be Mila’s brother, and then barreled on talking about the IPO of some company she didn’t recognize. She sipped her Chambourcin, nodding her greeting to people who milled by. The energy of the room was vibrant and light. And she needed to get on that same wavelength.
She didn’t know how much time had passed before Daniel slid his hand over the small of her back. Completely lost in her own world, she jolted at the sudden touch.
“Hey. Didn’t mean to startle you. Was that totally boring?”
Her laugh rang fake to her ears. “No. What? Why?”
He seared her with a knowing look. “Sorry. Let’s go find our seats. They’re getting ready for appetizers.”
She followed him to their seats, holding onto the tips of his fingers. A gesture that would look natural to anyone else, but one that allowed her to feel like she was making some progress in detaching herself from him.
Because that’s what she needed to do now. Full stop. Detach from Daniel and pump the brakes on all the wild, infatuated, love-of-my-life thoughts that had been swelling and blooming inside of her like an exotic flower.
Maybe this was the wake-up call she needed, even though it was unwanted.
Jackie did her best to put on a convincing show for the rest of dinner. She laughed, and feigned interest, and squeezed Daniel’s hand on regular intervals. But by the time plates were cleared and everyone was thinking about dessert or more drinks, Jackie was exhausted.
“Hey. What do you feel like doing?”
Daniel’s intense blue gaze waited for her, and she couldn’t hold it for long. She’d barely made eye contact with him the entire night.
“Whatever you want.”
“Let’s go back to the room.”
Jackie gnawed on the inside of her lip, gaze darting across the room. Two hours ago, she would have jumped at the chance to go back to the room with him. Now, she just saw it for what it truly was: a danger zone of physical intimacy leading to emotional lies. Not even lies from Daniel, who had never promised her anything. Lies she’d tell herself because of how badly she wanted them to be true.
This meant she needed to guard her heart more than ever.
“That’s fine,” she finally said.
Daniel watched her for a moment, scooping up one of her hands and bringing her knuckles to his lips. “Are you okay, princess?”
“Just tired,” she lied. “The wine hit me. I feel like I could go to sleep right now.” Though that was only partially true. She needed to curl up into a cocoon right now, so that she could reinforce the new decision to herself. Make it turn into a stone wall around her heart.
Daniel stood, pressing a hand to the small of her back as they said their goodbyes to the tables. Blake complained about Daniel leaving so early, but Daniel said he’d make up for it tomorrow at the wedding. On their way back to the room, Jackie tried to conjure even a fraction of her previous good mood—but at this point, it was a losing battle.
“The wedding’s going to be great,” Daniel said, draping his arm over her shoulders. “I can’t wait to see you in your dress.”
She smiled, but it faded quickly. “It’s so pretty. But it was so expensive. I feel like I should give it back once this is over.”
Daniel sent her a sharp look. “No. All those clothes are yours. I told you.”
Jackie nodded, a storm brewing inside her. She’d tried to reference what would come after the wedding—hoping he might say something about her having other chances to use the dress in the future, when he took her out—but Daniel hadn’t caught on. Or maybe he did. Maybe ‘once this is over’ was just another reinforcement that what they were doing here would be officially dead come Monday.
The endless swirl of speculation was exhausting. Her eyes fluttered shut for a few steps, repeating to herself
the new game plan: Keep your guard up.
Because once they got into that room, just the two of them, she was going to need to protect herself at every turn.
12
Daniel rubbed at the back of his neck, staring at the steam rolling out of the bathroom. Jackie was in there, in arguably the world’s hottest and longest shower, and every inch of him wanted to join her.
But something was off. He couldn’t tell what, but she’d been acting differently toward him all damn night. Part of him wanted to blame Tania, but that seemed almost too easy. She wasn’t the malicious type, and their break-up hadn’t been ugly in any way. He didn’t think she’d make up lies about him and there was nothing damaging about the truth—that things just hadn’t worked out. He and Tania had never been serious, even though she had clearly wanted it desperately. Their easygoing friendship all through grad school had naturally morphed into something more as they were both starting their careers. But the timing was wrong—and besides, they were too much the same person. Being with Tania had always felt like dating himself. And that’s not what he wanted.
He’d thought that he didn’t want anything—or anyone—at all. But Jackie was showing him that he wanted someone exactly like her.
So whatever she was going through, he should be there to help snap her out of it. Maybe she really was just tired. They were still getting to know each other—it stood to reason that he had much to learn about her moods and cycles. Just as he was getting ready to take his clothes off and surprise Jackie in the shower, his phone rang.
Dad.
Daniel steeled himself before he answered the phone, switching it to speaker so he could continue undressing. “Hey, Dad. What’s up?”
“Listen, any chance you have the Bangladesh proposal ready early?”
Daniel frowned. He still had three more days to finish that enormous project, and would need every one of them to complete it. “No, unfortunately. Why?”
His dad sighed tersely. “Any chance you could get it to me by the end of the day?”