by Regan Black
Fear. More than that, absolute terror. Like some of the rape victims he’d met in Kabul.
“I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” he said, speaking slowly, his voice calm. “That was meant to be reassuring.”
“OK.” Her too-vigorous nod attested to her continuing agitation. “Just don’t touch me again, all right?”
“All right,” he agreed. “I’m going to walk past you and go to bed.”
With all of his movements deliberate, he sidled around her, taking care to keep his holster side away. She stood frozen watching him, her haunted expression achingly familiar. What the hell had happened to her that she’d ended up here alone and shaken, with absolutely no memory?
And mad self-defense skills.
He kept his gaze on her while walking backward all the way to his room. While there was nothing he enjoyed more than solving a good mystery, right now his entire body screamed for sleep. He felt hollowed out, almost as if he were sleepwalking. He needed rest. Then he’d be much better equipped to face his mystery guest.
* * *
As soon as the door closed, she heard the quiet click of the lock. Letting out a breath she hadn’t even been aware of holding, she allowed herself to sink back down into the soft warmth of the blankets on the comfortable couch.
Inhale. Exhale. Attempt to calm her racing heart. Try to contain her panic, to center herself. Even so, it took a moment or two for her entire body to stop shaking. Another for her to clear her mind enough to even attempt rational thought.
What had she gotten herself into? How had she ended up here? The big man who claimed to own this cabin, whoever he was, had seemed serious. And he’d had a gun. Did that mean her life might be in danger? Had he been hinting as to what he might do to her when he’d said if she was still here when he got up? Her face throbbed. She reached a hand up to touch it, wincing at the pain. She had no idea how she’d injured herself, but judging from how tender her cheek was, it had been recent.
If she’d been afraid before, the idea of leaving brought on a different sort of terror. Still, she forced herself to pad over to the door and open it, taking a look outside.
A blast of chilly air made her shiver. Despite her lack of a jacket, she stood in the doorway and took in the surroundings. Craggy mountains with snow-capped peaks. Lots of trees, mostly aspen, though some pine and spruce, interspersed with the occasional Poplar. How could she know this, what the trees were called, and not know her own name?
Briefly, she considered. If she left this place, this small cabin that appeared to be pretty isolated, where would she go? And how would she get there? Did she have any money, or any personal items? Would she even recognize them if she saw them? If she truly was in some sort of danger, would she even recognize her enemies if she saw them?
The answer unfortunately came back a resounding no.
Closing the door and locking it, she knew she had no choice but to stay put. The big man might be a bit intimidating, but she’d pick the devil she knew over the unknown. At least right now. For all she knew, he could be her enemy or her captor. She might not know her name, but she knew enough to watch her back. She’d be careful and keep her guard up. Hopefully soon, some of her memory would return.
Still, she looked around, hoping to see maybe a purse or something personal of hers. Wouldn’t that be wonderful, especially if she found a wallet with identifying information?
But there wasn’t anything. Apparently, she had nothing but the clothes on her back. Super soft black leggings and an oversize sweatshirt. And while she wore a pair of socks, she didn’t see any shoes. Her head ached. How was that even possible? Then again, she supposed anything might be possible since she had no idea of her own identity or how she’d gotten to this remote rustic cabin.
Memory loss. How? Why? What could have caused that? Again, she felt her skull, using her fingers to probe for any bumps or lumps. She found a few, none of them too big. A little tenderness rather than pain. Not enough to explain this.
Had she been ill? Like with a brain tumor or something? The thought didn’t ring a bell, but then what did?
Instead of taking stock of what she didn’t know, she decided to list what she did. Precious little, actually. She’d been awakened by a man she didn’t know, apparently for trespassing in his cabin in the mountains. As for what state, she knew there were several that had mountains like those. She found it odd that she could list all the mountainous states but not her own name or where she’d come from. Or what had happened to get her here.
Once more she fought a rising tide of panic. A blank slate could mean anything. She didn’t even know what kind of person she might be—good or bad. She had no idea if she was married or single or divorced. If she had any children or siblings or parents who might be worried at not hearing from her in too long.
This was not helping. Then what would? She needed to think. As tempting as crawling back under the blankets and hiding from the world might be, doing so wouldn’t solve anything.
Instead, she paced, hoping the simple act of moving would bring a glimmer of...something. After a few minutes of stalking the interior perimeter of the cabin, she realized this wasn’t helping either. Apparently, one couldn’t simply will their memory to return. Not even in bits and pieces.
Trying not to feel utterly defeated, she sat back down on the couch. She glanced at the smoldering woodstove, wondering if she should add a few logs. As dusk settled in over the mountains, she knew the temperatures would continue to drop. How she knew this, she couldn’t say.
In the end, she settled for burrowing back under the blankets.
She must have dozed off, because the next thing she knew warm sunlight streamed in, warming her face. Stretching, she yawned and tentatively searched the void of her memory to see if anything had returned. No such luck.
Her long-sleeved sweatshirt fit loosely. She pushed up the sleeves, startled to see her arms were covered in bruises of various shapes and sizes. The colors ranged from plum to a deep purple, almost black. Gingerly, she touched her arm, which made her wince. She had no idea what had happened to cause these.
Glancing around her at the now brightly lit room, she noticed the bedroom door remained closed. The big man must still be asleep. Which suited her fine, since she didn’t trust him.
She padded down the hall, looking for a bathroom. Once there, she eyed the shower longingly before deciding she might as well. But first, she locked the door. Only then did she strip off her clothes and glance in the mirror.
As she’d feared, in addition to the massive one on her face, more bruises decorated her legs and hips. She even had a huge one covering part of her stomach and back. Though she hadn’t been aware of them before, now that she was, they hurt. Especially if she pressed her fingers into them. Which she immediately stopped doing.
Instead, she grabbed a couple of towels, located a new bar of soap under the sink, and stepped into the shower.
The small room had filled with steam by the time she’d finished. Clearly, she liked her showers hot. As she toweled herself dry, she realized she felt better already. Clean, at least. If only she had a change of clothes. Maybe the man would know where she might obtain these.
Thinking of the man must have made him manifest. Because when she walked back to the kitchen combing her fingers through her still-damp hair, she nearly ran into him. Only a quick jump back kept them from colliding.
As she gazed up at him, her heart rate once again going double time, she realized he appeared larger than he had last night. And more muscular. In fact, judging by the hard stare, he seemed much more intimidating.
She refused to let him see her quaking. Instead, she dipped her chin in a cool nod. “Good morning.”
“Mornin’.” He narrowed his eyes. “Do you drink coffee?”
Did she? Considering the question for a moment, she settled on a shrug. “I don’t know. I
guess I’ll find out.”
He turned and led the way to the kitchen. She followed, feeling slightly calmer. She needed to remind herself that, as of yet, he’d given her no reason to be afraid of him. No sense looking for trouble before it started, as her grandmother always said.
My grandmother. Eager to capture a memory, she froze, waiting for her mind to supply images of a face and a name. But nothing else came and she finally sighed in defeat.
The man waited at the counter. He’d gotten down two large mugs. “Would you like to try it black or with cream and sugar?”
How she wished she could answer him.
“Just pick one,” he said, noting her hesitation. “Let’s go with cream and sugar.”
“Okay,” she allowed, watching as he put some kind of pod into the machine, placed a mug under it and pressed a button.
She realized she didn’t even know his name. Which should be okay, since she didn’t know hers, but she was getting tired of thinking of him as the man.
“I’m Jason Sheffield,” he told her, startling her. “And since we don’t know who you are, I’m thinking we’ll call you Lucy. Would that be okay?”
Lucy. Considering, she tried out the name inside her head. “I guess that’ll be as good as any,” she replied. “At least until my memory comes back.”
“Great.” He flashed a smile and handed over the mug. “Here you go, Lucy. Careful, it’s hot.”
Grateful, she accepted it and carried it over to the kitchen table, where she took a seat. Taking a tentative sip, she smiled as the rich flavors filled her mouth. “This is good. I think this is how I like it.”
“Good.” Carrying his own mug, he pulled out the chair across from her and sat. “How are you feeling?”
Again, she had to stop and reflect on a seemingly simple question. Finally, she settled for honesty. “I’m not sure. I have a few lumps and bumps, plus bruises all over my body. I have no idea how I got them.”
“Let me see,” he ordered. Then, softening his tone, he amended his request. “Please.”
Slowly, she pushed up her sleeve. First one, then the other, exposing the pattern of purple, black and blue. “My legs look the same. And my stomach and back.”
His harsh intake of breath made her tense. He swore, low enough that the curse word was almost imperceptible. “It looks like someone hit you, numerous times. By all rights, you should have a broken bone or two to go with those.”
She shivered. “Nothing is broken that I can tell. I’m a bit stiff and sore, but the hot shower helped with that.” Taking another sip of coffee, she managed a small smile. ‘And this is helping me feel better too.”
“You don’t remember what happened either?” His watchful gaze held enough compassion to make the back of her throat ache.
“No. I wish I did.”
“Any dreams that you can recall? Maybe your subconscious might try to communicate that way.”
She thought for a moment. While she sensed she’d dreamed, to her best recollection those dreams were a swirl of chaotic colors and seemingly unrelated movements. “Nothing,” she finally admitted.
At her response, he dragged his large hand through his unruly hair. Somehow, this only made him look more dangerous. Was he?
“It was worth a shot,” he said.
She took a deep breath. To trust him or not, that was the million-dollar question. However, in the end, what choice did she really have?
“I need your help,” she admitted. “I’m beginning to see that you didn’t ask for any of this, but then neither did I. I feel like I might be in some sort of danger.”
He stiffened, his gaze instantly alert. “From whom?”
“That I don’t know. Like everything else. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but I just have a gut feeling. A sense of lurking danger, if you will. There’s no logic or reasoning behind it. I could be wrong.” She sighed. “Honestly, there’s no way to tell without my memory.”
She watched him while he considered her words. His sheer size could have made him seem intimidating, though for her she found it made her feel safe. He’d been nothing but kind to her, even though he would have been within his rights to toss her out the door.
“I think I’ll go into town and do some investigating,” he finally said. “Will you be okay here alone?”
Would she? “I suppose so. But are you sure you trust me enough to leave me alone in your home?”
He laughed at that, a warm masculine sound that managed to coax a smile from her. “You were alone here before I got home. I don’t see the difference.”
* * *
As Jason drove slowly down his steep drive, he couldn’t help but glance back at the cabin. This place had long been his refuge, a place known to only a few select friends. How, then, had the mysterious woman he’d try to call Lucy gotten there?
Of course, everyone in the small mountain community of Cedar knew about his place. His family had been coming here for decades before he’d purchased it from his parents. Maybe the mystery would turn out to be as simple as that. It was entirely possible Lucy might turn out to be a local who’d known the cabin sat empty most of the year and decided to use it as her refuge.
Though Jason hadn’t planned on being around people for at least a week or two, he needed to check with the sheriff and see if any missing-person reports had been filed. That would be a good place to start in his quest to determine her identity.
Main Street in Cedar, Colorado, could have been a Christmas-card photo. The storefronts were meticulously maintained, even though they experienced far less tourism than other parts of the state due to their distance from any ski resort. With buildings constructed of red brick and wood, the aspen-lined street gave off a homey, welcoming feel.
He parked in front of Joe’s Hardware, grinning at the thought of saying hello to Joe after his many months’ long absence. Too long, he thought.
A bell over the door jingled as he went inside.
“Be right with you,” Joe called out without looking up from a box full of tools he had on the counter. Due to the time of the year, snow shovels and a snowmobile were on display, along with Christmas lights.
Jason prowled the aisles, enjoying the sense that he’d returned home. Unlike many of the locals, he hadn’t grown up in Cedar, though his family had owned the cabin high on the mountainside for decades. They’d routinely made the trip from Colorado Springs, spending a few weeks in the cabin every summer.
After his father died, his mother had decided to sell the place. Jason had promptly bought it. He’d done some extensive renovations, updating the roof and plumbing and heating system. Though he spent much of his life traveling due to his career, he enjoyed having a place to return to where he could find a modicum of peace.
Joe finally looked up. When he caught sight of Jason, he let out a loud whoop. “Well, look at you,” he exclaimed. “About time you decided to pay us a visit.”
After some back clapping and a one-armed guy hug, Joe asked Jason what he could help him find. “They’re predicting a snowstorm,” Joe supplied. “You got enough firewood up there?”
“Nope. How soon can I get a cord delivered?”
“For you, I’ll try to get it done this afternoon.”
Since Jason already had all the other winter essentials, he paid for the wood. “Anything new in town?” he asked casually. While he knew hoping Joe would tell him about a missing woman was a long shot, he figured it didn’t hurt to try.
“Not really.” Joe shrugged. “We’ve had a few more tourists this summer than usual, but after August, things settled back down to the same old, same old. But it’s good to see you again, Jason. How long are you here for this time?”
“I’m not sure. I’m thinking at least a month.” Truthfully, he’d been toying with the idea of longer, maybe even giving up war reporting for good. His soul ached with
weariness from all the bloodshed and savagery.
“Through Christmas then.” Joe grinned. “You know me and the missus do our annual misfits’ dinner for Christmas. Everyone and anyone is invited to come eat with us. The only thing you have to do is bring something. Food, wine, beer, whatever.”
Jason nodded. “Thanks. I’ll let you know.” He barely remembered the last time he’d celebrated Christmas. Most times he’d either been traveling or stuck in some foreign hotel. The best holiday he’d had in recent memory had been when he’d found himself at a military base and had celebrated with the service members.
Once he’d left the hardware store, he strolled up and down Main Street, carefully checking all the storefront windows for missing-person flyers. He saw nothing save one for a lost cat.
Though ever mindful of the frightened woman waiting at home, he stopped in at Gertie’s, a coffee shop known for amazing pies. He was well aware of how much trouble he’d be in once word got out that he’d been to town if he didn’t stop and see everyone who knew him.
The little coffee house was packed. He took a seat at the bar, ordered a cup of coffee and Gertie’s famous peach pie. While he ate, he spoke with several other locals, all of who seemed happy to see him. No one mentioned a missing woman.
Extricating himself from the group of people wanting to discuss his last big story, he finally headed down to the sheriff’s office. Though Sheriff Ray Jeffords had been at the job since Jason had been a kid, he’d shown no inclination of retiring. Since there’d been virtually no crime in Cedar ever, he didn’t have much to do anyway.
“Jason Sheffield!” Springing from his chair, the sheriff rushed over and shook his hand. Once-gray hair had turned white, and his lined face bore a few more wrinkles, but the older man still had a firm grip and appeared healthy. If anything, he’d lost weight. His once-beefy frame seemed much trimmer.
They talked about the weather and the predicted snowstorm. Ray complained about the lack of tourists, and the out-of-towners who occasionally built vacation homes on newly cleared land. When Ray made no mention of a missing woman, Jason cleared his throat and asked.