by Danni Roan
Barnaby had told her tales of men growing ill and brittle as a voyage stretched out and she was determined to keep everyone alive and well on this ship. She had managed to hoard some of the vegetable and stow a bit of dried fruit that she tossed into now more common morning oats.
For a moment she thought of Birch above on the deck, buffeted by the wind as he strained to keep the ship on course. What if something happened to him?
Would the entire journey be for nothing? Would she have put her life in peril, leaving behind everyone she loved for naught?
And what of her heart? If something happened to Birch would she ever recover?
Chapter 17
“Xenia,” Birch’s voice tickled Xenia’s ear. “You’ve dropped off again honey,” Birch said jiggling her shoulder.
They had settled in the sand along the small beach after leaving the Sailor’s Rest School.
Xenia lifted her head from Birch’s shoulders where she’d rested it as they had watched the sun set.
“Are you cold?” Birch asked as Xenia gazed around her pulling her mind back into the present. The voyage had ended three years ago, and Birch was here with her, safe and sound.
“No,” Xenia replied. “I’ve been thinking so much about our voyage here, and all we went through to get here.”
Birch stood brushing off his trousers then reached down for her. “Let’s go home,” he urged pulling her to her feet and stealing a kiss. “You work too hard and worry too much.”
Xenia laughed. “This is nothing compared to what it was like back then,” she chided.
“It’s different work, but still very hard and very important,” Birch said taking her hand and starting back up the familiar path.
Bright stars twinkled in the sky, and the light of a rising moon shimmered off of the sea lighting their way. “Pastor George is already working on finding places for the men who are ready to leave. The whole system is working fine,” Birch continued.
Xenia smiled even though Birch couldn’t see it in the darkness. “Yes, but what if someone comes looking for the men and boys who are here now? I wish we could get them away sooner.”
“Honey, don’t borrow trouble for tomorrow. Barnaby said that sailors go missing all the time. They wonder off, get snatched by another crew, or sign on with another ship. Not so long ago whole crews abandoned ship and took off for the gold fields.”
“You’re right,” Xenia said. “I shouldn’t worry so much.”
“It’s how you are,” Birch commented. “I understand but don’t wear yourself out over it.”
Xenia squeezed his hand, thankful that she’d taken that fateful voyage so long ago. “I’ll try my best. I just want these men to find the peace they deserve. They have such dreams and hopes. It’s terrible to be trapped in a job, or a life you don’t want. Like Thomas, he’s so different and yet has such a gift with working metal and wood.”
“So what were you dreaming about?” Birch asked changing the subject before Xenia could start worrying over the men who were now at the school. “Was it when I won your heart and swept you off your feet into a life of luxury?”
Xenia’s laugh was rich and full as she smacked him on the shoulder. “No, I was thinking about the passage around Cape Horn.”
The silence that met her was no surprise as Birch drifted back to those dangerous and trying days as well. He’d been just as worried as Xenia.
***
“Shorten the main!” Barnaby barked as the ship heeled to starboard and they pitched into another wave.
To their port side they could see the jagged rocks of the cape and Birch shivered deep in his soul. His roiling stomach was all but forgotten as he scanned the ragged coastline, and the unforgiving rocks that could splinter them to bits.
All of the men were hauling line, changing tack and checking lines as they rocked across the short choppy waves, sometimes lying nearly parallel to the sea and washing the decks with icy spray.
Above, the man in the crow’s nest signaled for a turn toward starboard as he kept a close watch on the sea, looking for unseen obstacles in their path.
Barnaby had told Birch that the Cape was the hardest part of the journey, but he hadn’t expected this. He’d even had daydreams of seeing a passing iceberg as he longed for cooler temperatures as they skirted the tropics.
He thought of Xenia back in the galley and shivered anew at the thought of her climbing down the lines from the nest. Every time she climbed up there his blood ran cold. There was no doubt in his mind that he had fallen in love with the girl, but he didn’t have time to think of that. Right now he needed to do everything in his power to get them around the horn and to safety.
Jumping to follow Barnaby’s lead once more Birch hauled the lines taunt and set them with a practiced hand.
Birch had never known a girl like Xenia before. She seldom complained, and never shirked. True she was in greater peril if the rest of the crew discovered that she was a woman, but she could have found ways to avoid at least some of the heavier work. It never seemed to enter her mind.
Birch thought back to home and to the girls he had known in the little town he came from. His father had a good ranch, and there were plenty of girls in the neighboring town who had tried to catch Birch’s eye, but none of them had called to him like Xenia.
The wind popped and snapped at the lines again pulling Birch back to his work as he hurried to keep the ship on a safe path. He felt like everything was riding on his shoulders. If they were lost at sea, if Xenia never got back to her beloved Wiggie and her friends, it would all be his fault. He had to see to it that she got home, one way or another even if that meant letting her take his heart with her.
***
Xenia served the savory stew with oats and salted beef along with ships bread in mugs and bowls, so that it wouldn’t slop around on the uneven deck.
The men ate in shifts coming in twos or threes to the galley and snarfing down the hot meal as quickly as possible before either heading to their rack or back on deck.
Even the captain stopped by to have his meal, as he’d been pacing the deck since they’d entered the straights. He nodded at Xenia approvingly then headed back up top as soon as his meal was done.
“What’s this?” Gobbs, who had accompanied the captain, muttered at her as she handed him a mug of cider full of molasses and spices.
“It’ll keep you healthy,” Xenia said meeting his eyes defiantly.
“Bah, give me a good hard cider an’ that’s all I need.” The man barked but before he could say more the Captain rose and headed onto the deck.
Gobbs gulped down the rest of his drink and followed cutting Xenia a wicked glare.
“I’ve decided I don’t like that man,” Xenia said as Bonnie slunk out from under a crate looking for a treat.
Xenia reached down and scratched the cat’s ears as the animal dipped its black and orange face into a plate of crumbled cheese with a growl.
“So you agree,” Xenia laughed giving the cat another scratch, then heading back to the stove. They still had coffee, and if any day had ever called for it, it was today.
She had no sooner set the pot to perking when another sailor stumbled down the stairs and flopped onto a chair his arm bloodied by the pinch of a rope.
“Oh dear,” Xenia said dipping a rag in warm water and tending the wound. “I think it’s going to be a long haul.”
“Aye, it is at that,” the sailor said leaning his head wearily against the back of the chair. “The Horn ain’t nothin’ to trifle wiff. I’m glad she’s holding steady for now.”
“This is steady?” Xenia bulked taking yet another piece of cloth and binding the man’s arm.
“So far ‘tis,” the man replied. “If we hold like this we’ll make the passage by night fall day after ta’morrow.”
Xenia filed the information away. She needed to prepare for this. She needed to be ready for accident, injury, and the demand for energy. Racking her brain she thought of how she cou
ld organize meals that would both fill and strengthen the crew.
As she finished bandaging the man’s arm, he looked up and thanked her then hurried back out into the cold wind.
Birch and Barnaby were the last ones to come in for their meal, and Xenia was relieved to see that they were both uninjured in any way.
“So far so good,” Barnaby said between bites of his gruel like meal. “If the winds hold and the sea don’t rise, we might have a good passage.”
“You call this easy?” Birch called as he took the last chair at the barrel table.
“Yes, I’ve seen far worse with waves that were so high we thought we’d be pulled under by a watery hand. Other times I’ve seen icebergs floating so close that we had to skirt further toward shore where the rocks threatened to rip out our belly. Captain chose a fine time to sail right between the worst of it.”
Xenia shook her head. The seas were rough, the ship rising then falling with a bone shattering slap back into the trough before rising on the instant once more.
“I’m praying we make it out safely,” she said turning frightened green eyes to the men. “I’ll do all I can to care for everyone and see you all fed.”
“Just don’t take any unnecessary risks?” Birch pleaded, his warm gray eyes falling on her. “I’ll do my best.” She offered with a smile.
Chapter 18
For the next three days the ship labored through the passage around Cape Horn battered by waves and buffeted by wind.
Xenia found it increasingly difficult to manage meals, but persevered even having hot coffee or apple cider available for men chilled by the wind.
The Captain seemed pleased with her efforts and on the third evening they broke into calmer waters as a blood red sun slipped beneath the waves.
The Captain roused the men, heartening them with words of praise.
“Men,” he called from the quarter deck as he bushed the hair from his brow. “We’ve made the turn and from here on out we should have smooth sailing. You’ve availed yourselves well, and tonight we will each have a ration of brandy to celebrate.”
The men cheered and for a brief moment Birch caught her in his arms squeezing her tight as a bright smile graced his rugged face.
“Looks like we made it,” Barnaby said with a grin. “On to California for the lot.” He added.
“So does this mean we’re in the Pacific Ocean?” Xenia asked gazing out at the water as if she might see some difference from the water they were leaving behind.
“Yes, and it will be getting warmer as we head north, but the water will stay frigid. I’d not like to find myself in these depths for long.”
“Don’t worry Barnaby, if you fall in I promise to save you,” Xenia teased making Birch scowl.
Xenia made her way to the railing as the others dispersed, leaning her elbows on the wooden barrier and gazing out at the sea.
“It’s beautiful in its own way,” she said to Birch who sidled up to her. “Beautiful and terrifying all at once. I’ve studied and learned about sailing and the ocean through the years, but there is nothing like actually experiencing it. I’m not sure my sweet friend Zara would be so enthralled with books like the Odyssey if she had to actually live it.”
“I think that’s true of many things,” Birch commented. “You can know about something, but until you’ve seen it with your own eyes, or experienced it yourself it’s not quite tangible.”
He turned studying Xenia, his gaze taking in the curve of her cheek and the slope of her nose. Even standing there dirty, disheveled and disguised as a boy he could see her beauty. He’d read about love before, but until now he hadn’t been able to truly understand it.
With sudden and indefatigable surety he realized that he loved Xenia. The feeling was more than emotion. It was a tangible living thing that had taken on a life of its own and his heart rebelled at the thought of seeing her back to New York. He wanted her with him forever, by his side where ever they went and whatever they did.
Resting his elbows on the railing Birch looked out at the dark ocean as the horizon compressed into a slim red line.
“Birch are you all right?” Xenia asked studying him with care. “You look upset.”
“I’m fine,” Birch said offering a wan smile. “Just thinking about getting to California.”
“Aren’t you excited?”
“Yes, of course,” Birch said straightening. “It’s just that everything will change.”
Something in Xenia’s heart fluttered and she wondered if he meant that they would have to say good-bye.
A cool breeze blew off of the water ruffling the short locks of her hair and sending a shiver down her spine. When they finally made shore would she be able to simply return to New York? How much would things have changed and could she leave Birch Oakem behind?
The ships bell rang marking the hour and Xenia jumped. She needed to get back to the galley then to bed before there next shift arrived.
“I’d better get a move on,” she commented looking up into Birch’s gray eyes. “See you at supper.”
***
Xenia couldn’t sleep. Although tired, her mind raced with all of the things that had happened in the past few days, and with the dawning revelation that she was falling in love with Birch.
Rising silently from her hammock she made her way to the ships stores to visit Bonnie and her growing brood.
The kittens all of mixed colors had opened their eyes now and were starting to tumble out of their little nest on stubby unsteady legs.
Xenia wondered how they had faired being tossed about by the ship as it had rounded the horn, but was pleased to see all of them snug in their little bed when she carried her candle below decks.
Plopping down on the hard floor Xenia scooted to the kitten’s little hideaway and pulled a gray and white ball of fuzz toward her. The little creature spat for an instant then settled down into her lap with a grumbled purr.
“I see you’re going to be just as fierce as your mother,” Xenia crooned snuggling the kitten close. “I just hope you’re as good a hunter.”
Behind her, Bonnie appeared dragging an oversized rat carcass toward her little family.
“Ew,” Xenia groaned as the animal began devouring its most recent victim. “I’d throw that thing overboard if I didn’t think you needed the meat,” she said scooting away as the kittens tottered toward their mother sniffing curiously.
As much as she hated to see Bonnie eating a rat, she hated the rats even more.
“I guess I’d better check seals again while you dine,” Xenia said putting the kitten down turning away from the gruesome feast.
As Xenia began checking the food stores and fussing over the intrusion of insects and rodents she thought of Birch and began to talk to the cat.
“Birch is a good man,” she mused studiously ignoring the crunching sounds behind her. “If I have to be stuck on a boat with someone I suppose he’s a good choice.”
Xenia looked over her shoulder to see if the cat were listening to her and Bonnie looked up from cleaning her paws, her one golden eye pinning Xenia to the spot.
Xenia shook her head, “Why am I telling you this?” she said turning back to her work. “You obviously have no taste in men at all.”
Chapter 19
For the next three weeks the weather held fine and clear and the ship made good time heading northward to San Francisco.
Xenia had adjusted so much to life on board that her routine had become as normal as her classes had been at the Wigg School and Foundling Home. She had been trained to be a school teacher under the tutelage of some of the older orphan women who had been trained in turn by Wiggie herself.
She smiled wondering what they would think of her here on this ship traveling through unknown water and hiding her own true identity.
Yetta would think it an adventure and Vera would fuss about the deception and impropriety of dressing like a boy. Wendi would be sure to find a cautionary lesson in the tale and use it to
teach her to look before leaping.
Xenia could feel that her time at sea would soon be over, but she wondered what came next. What could be done to keep others from falling victim to other captains desperate for enough men to make the passage to whatever port of call was on the list.
In talking to Barnaby Xenia had learned that the practice of Shanghaiing men had come about because captains could never get enough men to make the passage to Far East.
Once gold fever hit California, it wasn’t uncommon to lose entire crews to the rush, and Crimps, the men who actually found and shanghaied the men, became more common than ever, despite the efforts of law enforcement to shut them down.
Although the practice was ebbing now, it was still not uncommon for unwary men like Birch to find themselves waking up on board a vessel headed for the orient.
“You don’t look happy,” Barnaby said as he carried a scuttle of coal for the stove to her.
“I’ve just been thinking,” Xenia confessed. “There must be something I can do to help men who want to leave their life on the sea and start over again.”
Barnaby rubbed the back of his neck thinking carefully about his reply.
“Most fellas like me don’t have much choice,” he said. “I’ve been on the water most of my life and have little skills for anything else.”
“But what if you could?” Xenia asked. “Isn’t there something you’d like to do?”
Again Barnaby rubbed the back of his neck. “Truth be told I always thought it’d be nice to grow things,” he said with a shy smile. “Maybe eat things fresh from the earth every day.”
“You could do that,” Xenia pressed laying her hand on his arm.
Barnaby shook his head. “I don’t know how to grow nothin’,” he said. “I’m an old salty dog and got no other way of livin’.”
“But you could learn,” Xenia insisted. “You could find a little piece of land and settle down.”