by Nancy Thayer
“You’d better watch what you do,” Louise warned Andy. “Janice keeps no secrets to herself, and you all would make great gossip.”
Christina bugged her eyes out at Louise. What had gotten into her friend?
Before she could say anything, Wink held up an angel iced in blue with glitter on her wings. “Mrs. Harris asked me to bring her a cookie. I made this for her.”
“That’s beautiful, honey,” Louise said. “Dora, want to make one for Daddy?”
The child’s sweetness changed the mood of the room. Allen asked Andy if he sailed, and the two men bonded about boats and winds and shifting sandbars and windsurfing. Christina and Louise supervised the girls while Christina ran a red ribbon through the cookies so they could hang on the tree. Chad sat in the corner, icing his cookie with great concentration, his tongue between his lips. Christina exchanged a look with Allen; they both smiled. Chad was happy.
By nine o’clock, the children were fading, even though they’d had plenty of sugar. Allen and Chad left, Louise and Dora left, and Andy helped Wink get into her coat. They all had paper bags full of decorated cookies in their hands, and even Christina’s teeth ached from eating too much sugar.
“I like your friends,” Andy said.
“Good! You’ll see them again at my Christmas tree decorating party tomorrow.”
Wink piped up. “Is Dora coming?”
“You bet. In fact, Dora’s mom wanted to know if you could sleep over at Dora’s house tomorrow night. It’s Saturday, so no school the next day.”
Wink’s eyes widened. She tugged her uncle’s hand. “Can I, Uncle Andy, can I?”
“May I,” Andy reminded her. “Of course, although I’m not sure when your mother’s coming home. She might want to spend the evening with you if she flies home on Saturday.”
“Oh, I can see her anytime,” Wink said heartlessly. “Please please please, Uncle Andy!”
“Okay,” Andy said. “Christina, I’ll get phone numbers tomorrow.”
Christina kissed Wink’s cheek. On a whim, she kissed Andy’s cheek, too. If Wink hadn’t been standing right there, Christina thought she would most certainly have kissed his mouth.
Saturday the weather turned unseasonably mild. Shoppers rushed out to shop while they knew they wouldn’t get wet or slip on ice. The day passed in a blur of mermaids, pirates, Legos, ferries, rope bracelets, screaming children, hyperactive seven-year-olds, and a pretty little five-year-old who pulled the marble container over so that all the marbles rolled across the floor. Wink earned her salary that day. Quick as a, well, a wink, the girl dropped to her knees and gathered up the wayward marbles. After that, whenever a child came in, Wink sweetly showed the child a mermaid doll or a ferry, allowing the mother the freedom to concentrate on shopping.
At the end of the day, Christina said to Wink, “Choose anything you want from this shop. You deserve it!”
A small voice in the back of her mind warned her: Don’t let yourself get too close to this little girl. She’s not yours.
After Wink left, Christina shut and locked the door and turned the OPEN sign to CLOSED.
Then she slid right down onto the floor, rested her arms on her knees and her head on her arms.
She’d been trapped in this sort of bleak emotional cloud before over the past year so she knew she had to wait till it passed. She had to allow her Inner Christina to berate her for all her choices. All her friends were married, with children, or married with children on the way, and here she was, a thirty-year-old spinster. Okay, no one used that word anymore, but it sounded more demeaning than single and she was in the kind of mood a friend told her about: Sometimes you’re so depressed you’ll do anything to make yourself feel worse. She had always wanted to marry and have children and it broke her heart to know that she hadn’t given her parents grandchildren before they died. But a person didn’t get married just to have children, did she?
She lightly hit the back of her head against the door. Christmas. Such an emotional time. It was a joy for her to see children’s faces light up when they spotted the perfect toy, and that joy filled her heart. But it was difficult then to return home to an empty house—okay, she had Mittens, but giving her a new catnip mouse for Christmas wasn’t the same as being with a family.
Now she’d met Wink. And Andy. Was she falling in love with him? Of course not! He was a Bittlesman who dated models. He’d probably return to New York after Christmas and marry Anastasiya Belousova, and in a few years he and his wife would swan into Christina’s small shed of a store with their many perfect children…
Okay! her Inner Christina announced. Enough!
She pushed up off the floor and set about readying the store for tomorrow. The work took her mind off her pathetic whining, and even cheered her, because she’d made a healthy bit of money during the day.
She hummed a Christmas tune as she gathered her things. Just then her phone pinged and she saw that she had a text from Wink. Christina took a moment to wonder how many other nine-year-old children had their own phones, and then she read the text.
Mom’s back! She got here today! She’s taking me out to get my hair cut and we’re both going to get mani-pedis! XOXO
Christina felt like a child who’d been picked last for the volleyball team.
I told you! the smug little voice in her head said.
“Shut up,” Christina said—no one else was in the shop.
Hi, Wink. That’s great! Have fun! Bring her to the tree decorating party tonight. XOXO
Mom says we might have other plans.
I hate your mother, Christina thought sulkily.
But what she hated, really, she knew, was the sudden absence of Wink in her life. The party would be fun, but not quite as much fun if Wink wasn’t there.
* * *
—
Christina walked along the wharf and her spirits lifted. Mimi was waiting for her at the Stop & Shop parking lot. Her SUV was stuffed with boxes of decorations and bags of food and wine.
“Mimi,” Christina asked as she settled in the passenger seat, “how many Christmas sweaters do you possess?”
Mimi laughed heartily. “You don’t want to know. At least ten, maybe twelve. You see, every year I get just a tad larger and last year’s sweater doesn’t fit, so I have to buy a new one.”
“Why not give the old ones to the Seconds Shop?”
“Because I keep planning to lose weight,” Mimi said. “But not tonight!” She laughed uproariously.
They drove to Christina’s house and lugged in the boxes and bags. Last night Christina had strung the lights on the tree and brought down several boxes of ornaments from the attic. The gingerbread house she’d made years ago was, amazingly, intact, complete with peppermints, licorice sticks, M&M’s, gumdrops, and snow made from confectioner’s sugar and the secret ingredient that made the roof stay on the house: Elmer’s Glue, which looked just like snow. The gingerbread house was really adorable. She put it in the middle of the dining room table.
While Mimi set the ornaments out on the coffee table, Christina covered the dining room table with Dutch and French cheeses, crackers, olives, chips and salsa, and a crockpot steaming with homemade chili. She put wine on the kitchen counter where small people couldn’t reach and set paper cups next to an unbreakable jug filled with watered-down organic orange juice. Louise had warned Christina not to serve sugared juice to children; it would make them even more hyper.
Louise and Dora came first, followed by lanky Jacob, who had made miniature kites from Christmas wrapping paper to hang on the tree.
“Oh, Jacob! These are adorable!” Christina kissed his cheek and pretended not to notice that he blushed bright red. “Come have some wine.”
Other island friends, with or without children, streamed in the door, and soon they were gathered around the tree, decorating t
he fragrant pine with silver bells and scallop shells glued to red ribbons and angels, snowmen, snowflakes, and dozens of other ornaments.
Christina tried not to look at the door every five seconds, but she wondered where Wink and Andy were.
Then the door flew open and two people stepped inside, shaking raindrops off their parkas.
Wink. And her mother.
“Are we too late?” Wink asked.
“Never too late,” Christina said. “Dora’s here. Why not help her decorate the bottom of the tree? It’s hard for us old people to get down there.”
“Yay!” Wink skipped off.
“Welcome, Delia,” Christina said, trying to inject some warmth into her greeting.
“Andy isn’t coming. He had to fly back to the city.” Delia dropped her parka on a chair and stood in front of the hall mirror, patting her hair into perfection.
Christina’s heart sank. “Oh. Well.” She didn’t dare let on how disappointed she was. “But you’re here! Come in and have a glass of wine or eggnog and meet everyone.”
Delia looked like she’d rather have a root canal, but she followed Christina into the living room.
“Everyone!” Christina yelled. “This is Delia, Wink’s mom. Introduce yourselves.”
Bathroom, she mouthed at Mimi, who was refilling a plate of cookies.
In the privacy of the bathroom, Christina stared at her reflection. Her Inner Christina muttered, Stop it. Get a grip. He’s probably with the gorgeous Anastasiya. Grow up. Slap a smile on your face. Life goes on.
Someone knocked on the door. Christina jumped.
“Christina,” Mimi whispered. “Are you in there talking to yourself?”
Christina opened the door. “How did you know?”
“Hey, kid, when you get to be my age, you’ll know everything.” Mimi took Christina’s hand. “Come on out and have fun with your friends.”
Christina saluted Mimi. “Aye aye, cap’n.”
She was surprised—no, shocked, really—to see that in the short time she’d been away from the living room, Delia and Jacob had struck up a conversation. Delia and Jacob?
Harriet sidled over to Christina. Keeping her eye on Jacob and Delia, she said softly, “Kind of makes you wonder, doesn’t it?”
“I’ve always thought Jacob was hot, in a nerdy way,” Christina said.
“Never mind his looks. If Delia Bittlesman Lombard is talking to Jacob, I’ll bet Jacob has money.”
“Why don’t you investigate?” Christina suggested.
“You bet I will.” Harriet wandered into the kitchen for another glass of wine.
The party was a smashing success for adults and kids. All the food vanished, every dish and paper cup and bowl was used, and the Christmas tree was a marvel, hung with so many ornaments it was hard to see the tree itself. No one got drunk and obnoxious, but everyone was exceedingly cheerful. People spontaneously began singing carols, Delia didn’t leave Jacob’s side, Wink and Dora got bored decorating and crawled into a corner to whisper secrets.
Christina’s cat, Mittens, remained under the sofa, sending darts of rage at Christina whenever she passed by.
Gradually everyone left. Wink, beside herself with happiness, skipped off to spend the night with Dora as Louise shepherded the giggling girls out the door. Mimi carried plates into the kitchen, covered the few leftover cookies with plastic wrap, and put dishes in the dishwasher.
Delia and Jacob departed together. Harriet stood at the window, watching them talk as Jacob walked Delia to her car.
Christina approached Harriet. “Are you spying on Delia and Jacob?”
Harriet sniffed. “So what if I am?”
“I thought you weren’t interested in Jacob because he’s not rich.”
“Good, because that’s what I want you to think, but it’s not what I think.”
“Harriet, you’re a very confusing person.”
“You think I don’t know that? You should try being me.”
“So you like Jacob?”
“Like? I’m crazy about the guy. And look! There’s hope, because as you can clearly see, Jacob responds to bossy women. Delia is certainly as difficult as I am.”
“So you’re trying to attract Jacob by being unpleasant?”
“I’m not unpleasant. I’m snobby, critical, and unkind, like rich women are. At least the women who come in my store.”
“It certainly comes easy to you,” Christina pointed out.
“Okay, I know I’m a pain in the neck. But I want to live on Nantucket, and I can’t ever afford a house here, I can scarcely meet the rent on my hole of an apartment. I’m determined to marry someone wealthy. You don’t have to worry about that, Christina. Your parents left you a house. I should be dating Andy Bittlesman, but he likes you.”
“And now because Delia Bittlesman seems to like Jacob, you suspect he’s wealthy.”
Suddenly Harriet had tears in her eyes. “What does it matter, really, Christina? Jacob doesn’t even know I’m alive.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
“He won’t even look at me.”
Christina reached out to hug Harriet, but the other woman froze, so Christina only patted Harriet’s arm. “So if Jacob doesn’t like you, that means fate wants you to wait until the right man comes along. A rich man, right?”
“I wish my mind would tell my heart that.” Harriet shook herself, and, as if coming out of a trance, she morphed into pleasantness. “Christina, this was a lovely party. Thank you for inviting me. I’ll see you tomorrow at lunch.”
“You’re welcome,” Christina said politely. She could tell that Harriet was regretting her moment of softness and her confession about Jacob.
She understood how Harriet felt. She had her own mixed feelings about Andy.
Mimi came out of the kitchen, rubbing lotion into her hands. “It’s all done, sweetheart. What a great party.”
“Oh, Mimi, you didn’t have to clean up.”
“I was happy to do it. You know me, I can’t sit still.” She pulled on her parka. “I know you’re sad that Andy didn’t make it. But he’ll be back.”
“I really liked him,” Christina confessed.
“You really like him,” Mimi said.
“He could have called. He could have texted.”
“That’s true.” Christina didn’t want to inflict her disappointment on her friend. “But hey, did you see how Delia latched onto Jacob?”
Mimi laughed. “I can’t wait to see how Harriet acts with Jacob the next time we’re all having lunch.”
“Harriet likes Jacob,” Christina said.
“Of course she does. That’s why she acts like a fourth grader around him. And Jacob has no idea. Men. Some things never change.”
Christina laughed with Mimi. She kissed Mimi’s cheek, walked her to the door, and waved goodbye as Mimi drove away.
“Mittens? You can come out now.” Christina used her most sweet, alluring voice. She needed someone—and her cat was more a someone than a something—to cuddle with while she thought about Andy. She curled up on the sofa and simply, for a while, looked at the Christmas tree, so extravagantly and eccentrically decorated by her friends, young and old. The warm scent of pine filled the room. The tree glowed, and Christina felt warmed by that glow. Accompanied by that glow, somehow.
She was fortunate. She knew that. It was ridiculous of her to feel so downhearted because of one man she scarcely knew. But she’d felt something special between them—a spark, a connection, and certainly desire.
That he couldn’t even be bothered to call or text her that he couldn’t come to the party was a big red warning sign. He had appeared to be considerate, but he didn’t act that way. She remembered their discussion at Fifty-Six Union, how she’d gotten all defensive when he talked about helpi
ng the island. Maybe she’d put him off by her bristly reaction. But all her life, she’d seen people come to the island, fall in love with it, and then try to change everything about it. Maybe she’d overreacted. Maybe he thought that underneath her pleasant personality she hid a hot-tempered harridan.
“Stop!” she said, so loudly that the cat jumped out of her lap.
She would not sit here and blame herself for ruining a possibly important relationship. She would not allow herself to sit around like a teenager, making up excuses for Andy, trying to figure out why he’d been so very interested in her and then not even bothering to be polite enough to call.
She was an independent woman. And she had a shop to run tomorrow. She would go to bed now and not think about Andy anymore!
* * *
—
The next day was warm and sunny. Christina biked to her shop, thinking that this weather was, frankly, a bummer. She liked cold, crisp air in December. It inspired the holiday spirit. She really wished it would snow.
Sunday mornings were often slow. Christina got a lot of paperwork done and organized the shelves. She stood on a ladder to hang the paper snowflakes she’d cut out, and afterward, the shop looked much more Christmasy.
“Hi, Christina!” Wink walked in at one o’clock on the dot.
“I didn’t think you’d come today, not with your mother on the island,” Christina said.
“I told her I have a responsibility,” Wink said seriously. “Anyway, she’s on the phone with lawyers all the time.”
Wink handed Christina a bundle of white roses wrapped in cellophane and tied with a red bow. “These are for you.”
Christina took them. “Thanks, but they’ve, um, wilted.”
“I know. I told Mom they would. Uncle Andy told Mom to take them to you at the party. Mom forgot.”
Christina smiled wryly. “She forgot to put them in water, too.”
“And Uncle Andy had written a card, but Mom lost it. I’m sorry.”
“Wink, it’s not your fault. Or your mother’s. She has so much on her mind.” Knowing that Andy had bought her flowers made it easy for Christina to be charitable. “I’ll get some water at the restroom and we’ll see if we can revive them.” With a smile, she thought: Just like the hope in my heart has been revived by the wilted flowers.