by Bella Andre
“Flynn.”
He was momentarily paralyzed as he watched Cassie cross the room to him. But then he remembered. One touch would break him. And then, given the force of his need—and his desperation to know a truly loving touch for once in his life—he might break her.
He made himself take a step back, hoping she’d understand his clear cue.
Stay away for your own good.
By the time she stopped barely a foot from him, his chest was heaving as though he’d just sprinted down the long driveway.
“I left when I was seventeen,” he ground out. “Dropped out of high school and headed for Los Angeles on a Greyhound bus. From everything I had read and seen on TV, Hollywood was as different from the middle-of-nowhere town I grew up in as I could find. I came up with my new persona on that bus. Flynn from Errol Flynn. Stewart from James Stewart. My real name is—”
He couldn’t manage the words, not just yet. But Cassie waited until he was ready.
“Joe.” He let out a long breath. “Joe Miller.”
He saw a droplet of water fall to the floor in front of him before he realized a tear had slid down his cheek. A tear for that kid who had been so damn scared of everything that his greatest accomplishment had been deleting himself from the world.
The next thing he knew, Cassie’s arms were around him. She was stroking his hair, his back, and pressing kisses to his cheeks in the same way she so often kissed Ruby.
For all that he’d told himself she’d leave once she knew the truth, now that he was finally being honest…he’d known better. Known she would only come closer. That she would hold on to him and not let go.
But having her arms around him scared him even more than her leaving would have. Because now that he knew how good it felt to have Cassie to hold, he also knew how horribly empty his life would be without her in it.
Had that fear not been eating away inside of him, he might have given in and wrapped his arms around her too. Instead, he made himself stand stiff and still. Made himself grind his teeth to keep from begging her not to leave.
She brushed away his tears with her fingertips. “Something tells me I would have loved Joe Miller just as much as I love Flynn Stewart.” Her smile was as warm and real as her heart. A heart that was so big she had found room even for him.
“You shouldn’t love either of us.”
“Don’t you dare tell me how to feel about you, Flynn.” It was a relief that she hadn’t called him Joe. He could never be that boy again, not even for her. “You loved your sister, just as you love Ruby.”
“I did love her, but I let her down. She died because I didn’t fight hard enough for her.”
“That’s not true.” She was fierce in her defense of him.
“It is. I should have moved heaven and earth to keep her from falling into the same dead end of drink and drugs and abusive relationships as our parents. I should have stopped at nothing to get her out, to get her away from that world and everyone in it. I shouldn’t have let her turn down my help again and again and again over the years. But in the end, I only saved myself. I left her behind to overdose in some dirty room. Dying like our dad, who ended up OD’ing in prison after he killed someone in a drug deal. Dying like our mom, who drank herself to death. If I had known Sarah was pregnant, I would have made her leave with me, no matter how much she needed the drugs or whatever guy she thought she couldn’t live without.”
Now that he’d started to tell the truth, he had to get the rest out, had to come completely clean.
“I’ve been lying to everyone since I was seventeen. Lying about where I grew up, lying about who I am, lying about where I went to school, lying about my parents dying in a car crash. I even created fake social media pages to back up my stories so that no one could catch me out. And all the while, I convinced myself it was the only way I could start over, start fresh, to keep from being dragged down by my family history of drugs, booze, and death. I told myself I wasn’t hurting anyone by becoming someone new. Until I met you.” He nearly reached for her then, before remembering that he didn’t deserve to touch her. Didn’t deserve to have her in his arms. “Until I lied to you. And I felt like the lowest of the low.”
After a few moments, she asked, “Is that everything you need to tell me, Flynn?”
God no. There was so much more he needed her to know.
That she was the best person he’d ever known.
That she’d brought more joy into his life than he’d ever thought to have—and into Ruby’s life too.
That he’d started falling for her the first time she smiled at Ruby.
And that she wasn’t the only one who had fallen in love. He’d barely made it to that first night, when she’d come to take care of Ruby, and him too, before he’d fallen for her.
She was still waiting for his response. “I need to tell you what I’m afraid of,” he said.
It was the second question on the list that always defined his work. For once in his life—for Cassie—he was going to face up to the hard truths rather than hiding behind fictional characters.
“I’m afraid of this.” His heart was pounding so hard as he spoke, he could feel the pulse points throbbing in his neck, his wrists. “I’m afraid of finding someone like you…and knowing you won’t stay, because you deserve so much more. So much better.”
“Why don’t you think you can conquer that fear, Flynn?” Cassie not only wasn’t leaving, she also wasn’t afraid to ask him question three. “What makes you think you’re not good enough, tough enough, determined enough, to be not only everything I deserve, but everything you deserve too?” Before he could respond, she moved close again and put her arms around his neck. “Especially when I’ve known all along that you already are.”
Before he could respond, her mouth was on his, and he was lost in the sweet passion—and the unconditional love—of her kiss.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Cassie poured every ounce of the love she felt for Flynn into their kiss.
Pain throbbed just beneath the surface of her skin for all that he’d suffered. For all the guilt he carried inside. For the shame he hadn’t been able to shed as easily as his real name and childhood history.
She wouldn’t hide how deeply she hurt on his behalf in the future. But tonight, what he needed wasn’t a reminder of darkness. He needed light. He needed joy.
And if all those layers of pain, of shame, of guilt, made it impossible tonight for him not only to hear, but to fully believe her when she said I love you, then she would say it to him another way. With her lips on his, and her hands caressing his skin, and her body pressed against his.
All her worries that she wasn’t enough for him, that she wasn’t as pretty as his model girlfriends, now seemed utterly pointless. It was long past time for both of them to know that they were more than enough, not only for each other, but within themselves too.
Her brother and sisters had said she didn’t give herself enough credit. It turned out they were right.
She wouldn’t make that mistake again.
And she wasn’t going to let Flynn do it anymore either.
Deeply certain of how good they were going to be together, even if their road to forever might be riddled with bumps, she smiled against his lips. He must have felt it, because he drew back.
“You make me smile,” she told him. And soon, she hoped to see him smiling again too. “You also make me feel like I’m wearing way too many clothes.”
Holding his gaze, she bunched the bottom of his T-shirt that she was wearing in her hands, then pulled it over her head and tossed it aside. Soon, his sweatpants were lying in a pile at her feet. Leaving her wearing only her sexy bra and panty set that matched her nail color.
Though he simply stood and stared, she knew without a doubt how much he wanted her from the way his eyes had gone dark. From the way he clenched his hands at his sides. And from his heart pounding against her open palm, hard and fast, when she laid her hand on the center of his
chest.
“Anything you want,” she said softly, “I want too.” She wouldn’t force anything on him, though. Wouldn’t take away any of his personal power, when so much had already been taken from him. “But if you don’t want to make love to me, I won’t—”
“I do.” He covered her hand with his, barely leashed power radiating from his touch. “I’ve never wanted anything more than I want to make love to you. But I would never forgive myself if I hurt you.”
“You would never hurt me.” It was as much a fundamental truth as the fact that he would never do anything to hurt Ruby.
“You deserve a gentle lover. And I want you too much to be gentle.”
Her lips turned up again as she closed the distance between them, pressing the length of her body against his. “I don’t want gentle. I want you.”
* * *
Flynn had never thought he’d be so close to heaven…or that getting there would put him on the precipice of hell.
Because as she stood, so radiant, in front of him, how could he do anything but reach for her…and tear the red silk and lace clean off her gorgeous skin?
He didn’t realize what he’d done until he looked down and saw the fabric in his hands. Only the sound of her laughter stopped him from begging for her forgiveness.
“I knew sex with you would be amazing.”
He could barely wrap his head around the fact that his sweet candymaker actually liked it when he tore off her clothes. Just as he could hardly believe the vision of beauty before him.
“You’re the one who’s amazing.” His words were hushed. “You’re just as beautiful as I dreamed you’d be.”
Her curves were beyond luscious, her skin the prettiest peaches and cream. There was no way he could have stopped himself from dropping the fabric to the floor and reaching for her soft skin.
He curled his hands around her hips to pull her against him, then lowered his mouth to hers for a lingering kiss. Savoring, relishing the sounds of pleasure she made as he stroked his tongue over hers, the way she moaned softly when he nipped lightly at her lower lip.
He might not be able to give her the perfect forever she dreamed of, no matter her faith in him, but at the very least, he could give her pleasure. Breathlessly intense bliss that he vowed would be beyond anything she’d ever known before.
Lifting her into his arms, he kissed her as he carried her to the couch. He waited until the very last second to lift his lips from hers as he lowered her to the leather, then knelt on the rug between her thighs.
“I want to taste every inch of you.” He pressed his mouth to the crook of her neck. “I want to find out what makes you moan. What makes you gasp. What makes you cry out with pleasure.” He nipped at her ear before adding, “What makes you come apart.”
“Yes. I want all of that too.”
Again and again, it blew his mind that the most wonderful woman in the world—not to mention the sexiest—could want him.
He threaded his hands into her hair and kissed her again, knowing he’d never get enough of her sweet mouth. Slowly, he ran kisses along her jawline, down the sensitive skin of her neck, then over the curve of her shoulder. Feeling her shiver as he dipped his tongue into the hollow of her collarbone, he did it again, loving the way she tightened her grip around his waist as she instinctively pulled him in tighter between her legs.
Her skin was impossibly soft as he stroked, as he caressed, as he worshipped her curves, her hollows, her peaks, her valleys. She arched into his touch without fear or reservation—and with a smile. The smile that had captivated him from the first.
A smile that turned into a gasp as he curved his hands around her full breasts.
She wasn’t the only one losing her breath as he cupped the soft flesh, then slid his thumbs over the taut peaks. Lowering his mouth to one breast, he feathered his breath over one aroused tip, then licked out against her.
A low moan came from her throat as her hands slid into his hair. “Flynn.”
Giving her pleasure was the greatest pleasure he’d ever known. Miles beyond anything he’d ever experienced before. He couldn’t begin to imagine how good it would be when she climaxed.
Just thinking of it had him tightening his lips over her. In response, she pulled him closer to the heat of her body. Every taste he had of her only made him want more—and made him more desperate to give her the ultimate pleasure.
Control spiraled away as he cupped her breasts and feasted on her. Her moans gave way to cries of pleasure, and from the way she was rocking her hips against him, he knew he wasn’t the only one who needed more.
His heart nearly pounded out of his chest in anticipation of more. In anticipation of slick heat and even louder cries of ecstasy.
Forcing himself to go slowly, he ran kisses down from her breasts, over her stomach and hips. “So beautiful,” he murmured against her flushed skin.
She kept her curves mostly hidden beneath loose-fitting clothes and aprons, and though he wanted her to celebrate her beauty, to be totally honest he was glad that there were few other people who knew her the way he did. Cassie was a sexy, hourglass goddess. One who outshone every Hollywood star, every supermodel.
With his mouth barely above her sex, he gripped her hips and lifted her to him. The first taste nearly broke him. By the second, he was completely lost in her, his self-control destroyed.
He couldn’t remember to be gentle as he thrust with his tongue, again and again, deeper and faster, until the first tremors started to run through her.
In a flash, he replaced his mouth with his hand as he moved over her on the couch. He needed to see her face when he brought her over the edge. Needed to know for sure that he had finally brought her some joy.
Her eyes had been closed, her head thrown back, as she undulated against him. But as she reached for him to thread her fingers into his hair, she opened her eyes and stared into his.
“I love you,” she whispered, then brought his mouth down to hers. And as she unabashedly gave him every ounce of her pleasure, the smile on her lips as she kissed him made him smile too.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Cassie had never felt so good in all her life.
Flynn was so much bigger that she couldn’t quite take in a full breath as he lay pressed against her. And yet, she never wanted to unwrap her legs or arms from around him.
He smelled absolutely divine too. The most delicious man alive.
Following her instincts—from here on out, she wasn’t going to hold anything back—she licked his neck. His skin tasted salty, and so yummy that she did it again.
He lifted his head, his eyes dark as he looked down at her. “You’re so beautiful.”
No one had ever made her feel so cherished. Like she had been made to be worshipped. As though she was utterly special. Perfect, even.
She smiled at him, full of the sweetest joy. “You took the words out of my mouth.” She stroked her fingers across his jaw. “And I can’t wait to give you the same pleasure you just gave me.”
He put his hand over hers, stilling it. “Tonight is for you. For your pleasure. All I want is to make you happy.”
“You do,” she said softly. “But you’re wrong about one thing. Tonight isn’t just for me. It’s for both of us.”
“Cassie, you don’t have to—”
She stilled his protest with a kiss. “Nothing we’re doing here goes just one way. For everything I give you, you’re giving me just as much.” She pressed her lips to his again before he could argue with her. “And right now,” she said when they finally came up for air, “I want you to give me yourself.”
His eyes darkened even further. But, fortunately, not from shadows this time. “Tonight, I’ll give you absolutely anything you want.”
Though she wasn’t crazy about his tonight qualifier, she recognized how much it had taken for him to say even that. Small steps—that’s what would get them there in the end, and she would celebrate every single one of them with the man she love
d.
But first, she needed to make one big move, shimmying out from beneath him so that he was now lying under her on the couch.
He looked stunned at how quickly she’d flipped their positions. “How did you do that? I’m so much bigger than you.”
“A girl has to learn some pretty tricky moves when she’s got four brothers. Although I never thought those moves would come in handy at a moment like this.”
At the mention of her brothers, Flynn’s jaw tightened. “They’re going to kill me. Not just your brothers, but your fath—”
“No.” She kissed him to soften the harsh word. “Tonight is about you and me.” To further reinforce her words, she reached for the buttons on the long-sleeved shirt he’d changed into after their hike. “And me wants you naked.”
She loved seeing his lips curve up at the corners at her bashing of the English language in the name of lust.
Her hands were steady as she undid the buttons on his shirt. Until she had it nearly open, that was. “Oh God.” He was too beautiful. She’d thought she was prepared to see him without clothes on, but clearly, if his bare chest and washboard abs were anything to go by, she most certainly was not ready.
“Cassie?” Fear leaped into his eyes with lightning speed, his muscles going taut beneath her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong.” She kissed his lips, his cheeks, his forehead, his chin, until she felt his tension ease. “You’re ridiculously good-looking. I’m a little…” She searched for the right word, fanning herself with her hand as she finally settled on, “Overcome.”
He surprised her by laughing. A small sound of joy, but one she deeply relished. “You always know how to make me laugh,” he told her. “Even now, when I can’t keep my hands or mouth off you.”
But when she pulled his shirt all the way open and laid her hands over the bare skin of his tanned, well-muscled chest, their smiles fell away.