by Calista Fox
Kate circulated the room, greeting everyone, thanking them for coming, dodging the inquisitions she’d fully anticipated.
Speculation and optimism wafted on the air. Her parents, in particular, were giddy as hell. Though glancing around for Lord only knew what. Kate couldn’t fathom what they were searching for, waiting for…?
Until Charlotte sidled up to her and conspiratorially said, “They’re wondering where Jude is.”
“Jude?” she asked, taken aback.
“Kate…they all thought they were coming here tonight for you and Jude to announce your engagement.”
“Our what?” she shrieked. And all heads whipped in her direction.
Charlotte raised her hands in the air and said to the conglomeration filling Kate’s living room, “Keep enjoying the quaff and nosh, people. Kate and I are just chitchatting. Catching up on things. Girl talk.” She winked.
Conversations resumed.
Kate eyed Charlotte speculatively. “You called me Kate.”
“Yes. I apologize for the previous oversight. But Jude said—”
“When did you speak with Jude?”
“Recently. At length. My, gosh, the effort he is making to ensure his proposal for the Dawn Stevens Foundation is a successful one is astounding! I’m so impressed. And, Kate—”
The doorbell chimed once more.
“Oh!” Charlotte squealed. “I bet that’s him now.”
“Him, who?” Kate demanded.
“Jude, of course.”
“Jude!” Kate glared at the other woman. “I never invited him.”
“I did. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It’s sort of a surprise. Well, my surprise, since he doesn’t know I didn’t tell you. And it’s just… Oh, this is crazy in the most exhilarating way!”
“Charlotte.” Kate gripped her upper arms. “Jude and I are not engaged. We’re not getting married. We’re not even together.” She said this just low enough that it didn’t draw too much attention.
Charlotte beamed, undeterred. “I know, Kate. Your family doesn’t know, but I do. Jude’s here for a different reason.”
“And what might that be?”
“To support you when you tell your family you’re going to Afghanistan.”
Kate couldn’t scream. That would create a bigger scene than she and Charlotte were already making. Even Nikki was staring at them curiously. But she was astute enough to let Kate and Charlotte carry on while she canvased the room in her effervescent fashion, engaging everyone in conversation and taking some of the pressure off of Kate.
Not all of the pressure…because Jude was apparently at her front door.
“Charlotte…what have you done?”
“Nothing devious, I swear. The crux of our discussion was the meaningful promotion of a newly formed charitable foundation. Which sort of morphed into your impending plans. And while, yes, Jude is concerned for your well-being, he’s primarily worried you’re not going to receive the support you need and deserve. So I insisted he come tonight—to offer that support.”
“You insisted.”
Charlotte smile coyly. “Yes, Kate. Jude is a wonderfully complex man. So perfect for you. I’m fascinated by you both, I’ll confess. And I’ll never hear the end of this from Denison, but I don’t care. He loves me in spite of my idiosyncrasies.”
“That’s reassuring. And yet… Charlotte. What is so fascinating about me and Jude?”
“Just wait. You’ll see.” She kissed Kate on the cheek. Then declared, “I’m going to greet Jude at the door. I’ll be right back with him!”
She flounced off, as pleased as could be.
Kate wondered what alternate universe she’d just entered. What magical portal she’d slipped into. What rabbit hole she’d fallen down…?
Her gaze swept over the ten other people gathered about. Her parents. Her four brothers. Their three wives…Charlotte notwithstanding, since she’d just disappeared. Nikki.
Kate had requested adults only, no children. This could be a traumatizing event. No need to project that onto her nieces and nephews, regardless of them all being at such a young age they’d have no true concept of what the adults were discussing. But Kate firmly believed they could perceive emotions and tension…and didn’t want to be a contributing factor to any stress in their lives.
Also, she wanted her family focused on her and what she had to say to them.
As Jude entered with Charlotte, Kate realized she’d have to quickly diffuse their collective misconception that she and Jude were intending to announce their engagement.
For the love of God! She hadn’t even considered that would be on their minds!
It made sense, though. Except Kate had been too wrapped up in how she was going to present her plans to ponder what they’d all think of her calling a family meeting.
Now, Jude was here.
Looking devastatingly handsome in all black. A dress shirt with the sleeves rolled back to his forearms, pants and boots. His hair was tousled in that typical haphazard fashion she found so damn sexy. His dark eyes smoldered. Hell, everything about the man smoldered.
When she referred to him as devastatingly handsome, the devastating part of it was that she took one glance at him and essentially forgot everything else! The man obliterated all other thoughts.
Important thoughts.
Ones she needed to hold fast to. Keep organized. Articulate in a reasonable and succinct manner.
But her heart beat faster. Her blood turned molten. Her inner thighs quivered.
Damn, she’d missed him between her legs.
Kate gnawed her lower lip. She’d missed him nipping at it.
She’d missed everything about Jude.
When he gave her a casual grin—that half-assed smirk that only hitched one corner of his tempting mouth—she nearly melted.
Charlotte had a firm grip on his arm and she filled the silence that ensued—because Kate had yet to find her voice—by saying, “Everyone, you remember Jude McMillan. A dear friend of Kate’s. And someone I’m becoming well acquainted with, as are Mirabeth Presley and Tulia Evers. We’re helping Jude to navigate the waters for establishing a charitable foundation.”
Kate’s mother took interest in this tidbit. “Is that so?”
“Yes, Mrs. Stockman,” Jude said. “For someone whose memory of his wife I’d like to help honor. It was your daughter’s idea.”
Kate told him, “I’m so glad you’re pursuing this.” She moved forward, toward him. Not exactly steadily with her knees going weak at the sight of him. “You met everyone at the engagement party, except for my best friend, Nikki Kane.”
Nikki joined them. “It’s a pleasure, Jude.” They shook hands. “I’ve heard enough about you to immediately discern why Kate’s family is hopeful this evening’s get-together is your own engagement party.”
“Nik!” Kate gasped.
With a crooked brow, Nikki said, “Enough of the suspense, Kate. Tell them all why they’re really here.”
22
Kate’s gaze shifted to Jude.
He nodded and said, “I’m not here to talk you out of anything, Kate. I officially attest this project is a courageous, substantial and worthy one.”
“Kathryn,” her father interposed. “What on earth is going on?”
Kate turned to her father. Her entire family.
Anxiety skittered through her. Emotion washed over her.
But Kate knew what she had to do.
It was time.
“Evidently, you all assumed I’m sharing news of there being a marriage in my immediate future. There isn’t one…”
She accepted the fallen faces, the confused expressions, the disappointed sighs.
Kate lifted her chin, despite her heavy heart. She said, “Jude and I aren’t getting married. We’re not even a cou—”
“Kate has a crucial undertaking that demands her full focus right now,” Jude interjected. “Tell them, Kate. Tell them everything.”
She d
id. Without further preamble, ado, prompting… She laid it all on the table, including the additional security measures Nikki had mentioned earlier. Kate blanketed every aspect to the nth degree…with high hopes no one would have a single question.
That was a preposterous aspiration, she knew.
Once she stopped talking, everyone else jumped in. She waded through the minutia, with Nikki as backup to confirm everything Kate meticulously explained. And in her peripheral vision, Kate saw Jude standing off to the side, nodding his head. Not judging. Not discounting. Not looking for a single thing to refute or rebuff.
He truly was there to support her.
When the perplexity of not being able to further dissect Kate’s decision set in, her family opted to discuss the whole matter amongst themselves, as though that would somehow help them to sort it all out.
Kate gave Nikki a hug. “Thank you. Hearing affirmations and validations from you goes a long way.”
“You did a great job, Kate. I think—”
“I still don’t understand!” Kate’s mother finally cried out, bringing a screeching halt to the verbal debates. “I just… I don’t understand.” Glaring at Kate, she demanded, “Why would you do this? Why would you willingly do this?”
“Mother, I know it’s complicated, but we can learn a lot from the military psychiatrists entrenched in combat-related scenarios. That won’t be us, inevitably, no. But there’s a similarity to draw upon when it comes to disaster psychiatry. Variables that will help us to help others, so they can begin coping immediately and reduce the chances of long-term issues and consequences.”
“But Afghanistan? People die over there, Kathryn! Why in heavens name would you put your own life in danger? For what reason? For what purpose?” Tears popped up on the rims of her eyes as she continued to stare at Kate.
Kate’s own tears suddenly stung the backs of her eyes. “Mother. People do die over there. People die here, too. Sometimes because they choose to. If I can assist them in making a different choice, overcome trauma and depression and—”
“It’s not for you to decide, Kathryn!” her mother now shouted.
Kate swallowed down a lump of emotion and strove for an even tone as she said, “No, it’s not for me to decide. It is for me to offer options…ways to deal with trauma…solutions that don’t lead to suicide…reasons to choose life over death.”
“You never should have gone into this profession!” her mother exclaimed as the tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. “You never should have pursued this, Kathryn. You had a good life ahead of you—a marriage in the making with a man who would have provided for you so that you didn’t have to—”
“Jesus, Mom!” Kate unexpectedly exploded. “I don’t love Andrew Lexington! I never did—I never will! You have got to get over—”
“Kate.” Nikki rested a hand on Kate’s shoulder.
But it was Jude who stepped forward and said, “She does have a good life ahead of her, Mrs. Stockman. Kate has had a good life so far. You might not agree with her career decisions, but she did make the right one. I’m living proof. I’m standing here before you all because of Dr. Kate Stockman. I’m not some random man she met and took to a party at The Plaza. I’m her patient. A former patient, but still…” Jude’s gaze flashed to Kate and he gave her a sincere, appreciative smile.
Addressing her family again, he said, “I was on the brink. My fiancée committed suicide right before my very eyes. She walked into the room, said my name and pulled a trigger. I had no time to react. No time to stop her. No time or recourse or pause button to hit. It was over that fast.” He snapped his fingers. “Can you imagine?”
Kate’s mother took a step back, toward her husband. Evan Stockman said, “That must have been horrific.”
“Imagine where that would leave you, Dr. Stockman,” Jude steadily challenged.
Kate’s father’s gaze dropped to her mother. Who still gaped as tears streamed down her face.
Lifting his eyes to Jude, Evan said, “I’d be heartbroken.”
“I was, too,” Jude confessed. “I was wrecked. In shock. Lost… Ready to take on the world with my fists, not caring what battered or even crippled mess I might be in the end. Not caring about any damn thing at all. Then I met Kate.”
Her breath caught. Her heart constricted.
Jude continued. “I saw her three times a week. Sometimes four. It was how I got through each day, each week. How I survived. Knowing Kate was just a phone call or an office visit away. Knowing I could tell her anything. Anything…” Raw emotion crept into his voice. “I could tell her everything that was killing me from the inside out…and Kate understood. She listened. She processed. She accepted. And she healed me. Me,” Jude added, squaring his shoulders. His jaw set. His breathing slowed to a normal pace. “She fixes everything inside me that goes haywire. She makes me stronger. She makes me thrive. She makes me want to live. Every single day, your daughter gives me a reason to live.”
Nikki’s grip on Kate tightened as Kate swayed slightly. The tears fell from her eyes and for a few moments, Kate couldn’t quite focus on anything. Her own emotions were so prickly, she could barely drag in a sliver of air.
Jude turned to her. “God, I love you.”
Really, it was all Kate needed to hear at that moment. She tore her arm from Nikki’s reassuring grasp and launched herself into Jude’s arms.
“I love you, too,” she cried. “So much.”
He held her tightly as Kate wept.
Jude whispered, “I couldn’t let you go through this alone. I didn’t know Nikki would be here, but even so… I’m glad Charlotte told me about tonight. I want to be with you, Kate. No matter the circumstance… No matter the place. I just want to be with you.”
Kate’s embrace around his neck loosened. She gazed into his eyes. “Jude, I’m still leaving.”
“I know. I’m okay with that.”
Kate gaped.
Behind her, Charlotte softly said, “Tell her what you’ve done, Jude.”
Kate glanced over her shoulder, her watery gaze landing on Charlotte. Who looked so damn hopeful and euphoric through her own misty eyes, Kate’s heart twisted tighter. Or soared. It was difficult to determine which because Kate suspected something fantastic was about to be revealed—but couldn’t bring herself to accept the possibility just yet.
Turning back to Jude, she asked, “What is Charlotte talking about? What have you done?”
Jude took a small step away, so he could clasp her hands and hold her gaze.
He said, “While Charlotte was helping me with some of the mechanics of establishing Dawn’s foundation, we got to talking about legalities on all charitable levels…a lot of pro bono work-related issues to resolve. I happen to know a lawyer who provides free legal services to survivors of grand-scale natural disasters. So I contacted him and, Kate… I want to go with you.”
“You what?” She couldn’t have stared any harder at him, she was sure. Convinced she hadn’t heard him correctly.
With a grin, Jude reiterated, “I want to go with you. You’d be surprised at all the red tape, estate and probate issues, tax complications and insurance impediments that arise in these situations. I can provide free legal counsel, Kate.” His attention shifted to Nikki. “You could use a lawyer on the ground, right?”
“Absolutely,” she said without a second thought.
Jude’s gaze returned to Kate. “I want to be with you, Kate. I love you. I want us to be together. Really together…remember?”
She could barely breathe, let alone speak.
So she merely nodded.
He said, “Then let’s do this together. We started out unconventionally… I don’t see why we have to change at this point.”
“Kathryn,” her mother quietly eked out. “I can’t condone this. It’s not right. It goes against everything—”
“Mother…” Kate moved around Jude. “Daddy. Everyone…” She gazed at her family and said, “I know I’ve never fit the n
orm. For you. But for Nikki and Conner…for Jude—”
“For me,” Charlotte suddenly interjected, her voice cracking as she waded through her own tearful response to the last several minutes. “For me, Kate. No, nothing about this is normal for me, per se,” she added with a faint laugh…and a smile. “But I think you’re extraordinary. And I admire you so much. I respect you. And I believe in you. I believe in what you and Nikki and Jude want to do.” Her gaze flitted to Denny. “I’ll explain it all to you, if you want me to.”
Denny gave an unexpected grin. “Not necessary. Katie always went her own way. And she’s never missed a beat.” He raised his glass to her. “I can condone that. I’m sorry, Mother, but hearing Jude’s story and knowing Katie—”
“Kate,” Charlotte corrected.
“Right,” Denny said. “Kate. Knowing Kate saves lives….and that she doesn’t falter… She sets her sights on a goal and accomplishes it. And if rescuing others is her destiny…? Who the hell are we to frown upon that?”
“The man has a point.” Kelly, the oldest, lifted his glass. “Just be safe, sis.”
Brandon followed suit. “Keep her safe, Jude.”
John was a bit more reticent to join in, but eventually hefted his glass as well. “Don’t stay away too long. We’ll miss you… Kate.”
“I’ll miss you, too,” she tearfully said. “But you understand, right?”
The wives were clearly in a quandary. Yet Kate’s brothers nodded. Charlotte hugged her.
Kate’s father said, “I’ll speak with your mother.”
Who told Kate, “I’m just not sure—”
“It’s okay,” Kate said. “You don’t have to agree or accept this right now, Mom. But maybe someday…”
“Maybe. But I don’t know, Kathryn…”
Kate gave her a lengthy, assuring hug. When she finally pulled away, she said to both her parents, “Just so you know, if anyone could get me to go the conventional route, it’d be Jude.”
Behind her, she heard his tense chuckle. Then he asked, “How so?”
Kate faced him. “Keep the apartment, Jude. Just in case…”