One time. One time I'd asked her to stop inviting herself into the bathroom to carry on a conversation while I used the facilities. Now, I was the one with the privacy issues.
"Lauren, Lauren. Sweetness. Lauren, your mother's in the bedroom," Matthew whispered. He cupped his hand around my chin but I didn't stop sucking. He traced his thumb around my lips. "Fuck. Fuck, sweetness. Your mother cannot see this."
I leaned back on my heels, slowly dragging my tongue over the underside of him. "Then tell her we'll be out in a minute."
"Lolo?" my mother called. "Honey, I promise I won't go in there but I think Madeleine's ready to eat again. She's making that angry-hungry face. Do you want me to give her a bottle?"
"Lauren," Matthew hissed.
I went right on stroking his cock, treating him to quick kisses on each down stroke. "You handle it. I know you can. I know you want to." My words whispered over his crown. "As you can see, I'm rather busy."
"Lauren's getting dressed, Judy," he called. I edged closer, taking him all the way to the back of my throat this time. "I'm just—oh my god—I'm helping her with a necklace. A really…really fucking…amazing necklace. That's allllll."
There was a pause on the other side of the door. I had to imagine my mother was inventing some explanations of her own while I was busy deep-throating my husband. "All right," she said eventually. "Should I feed Madeleine? She's about half an hour ahead of schedule."
I hummed around him in agreement. Yes, give her the bottle now. Yes, fuck my mouth like you mean it. Yes, lose your damn mind on me because I need to know you still feel this the way I do. Another hum followed by a tentative jerk of his hips. I drove my nails into his ass, showing him how to take what he needed.
"Yes!" he cried, his body searching for the right rhythm. "Yes, yes, oh my god, yes. Give her—give her whatever she wants."
Another pause. Then, "Let's go downstairs, just you and me. We'll have a nice bottle and some girl talk." Her words faded away as the bedroom door snicked shut.
"You." Matthew's fingers drove through my hair, tightening around the strands, gripping. "You." I gazed up at him, my lashes fluttering while I waited for him to finish that sentence. Finally, he said, "You don't know what you're doing, sweetness."
I dragged my lips down his length, twisting as I reached the head. I teased him there, the way I knew he loved but also hated. "Yes. I do."
Since I wasn't interested in conversation, I took all of him, pushing past the point of comfort and reflexes. My eyes were watering now, sure to leave streaks of mascara behind. But I didn't care. It didn't matter if I looked like a hot mess or I had to start this face from scratch in order to leave the house. It didn't matter how I looked at all. It wasn't the dress or the bra or the face that turned him on. It was me, taking what I wanted, giving what he needed.
It was always me.
I dug my fingers into his ass, my nails pressing into his skin as I worked him over. His grip on my hair tightened. He tipped my chin up, whispering, "You filthy little cocksucker, you better be ready to swallow."
And just like that, my husband was mine again.
4
Matthew
Well. That was unexpected.
I brushed my fingers over Lauren's lips, smiling at their rosy flush. "May I ask what I did to deserve that?"
She rubbed her cheek against my upper thigh. "Since when do you have to deserve it?" she asked. "Can't you just want it and that be reason enough?"
Also unexpected. Apparently, I'd spent too much time worrying and yawning, and mentally preparing for a vasectomy and missing our former life. During that wasted time, I'd failed to recognize my wife needed my attention.
Until she took matters into her own hands—and mouth.
Tapping a store of energy I didn't know I had, I scooped her up and hauled her into my arms. When was the last time I'd held her like this? Like she was my personal fuck doll, filthy and fragile and all mine? Too long. I didn't have an exact answer but I knew it'd been too damn long. "And what do you want, sweetness?"
"I wanted that." She pressed her lips to mine, all sweet and sunshine. As if she didn't have the taste of me on her tongue right now. "And now I want you to take me out for the night."
I chased her lips. I wasn't letting her go that easy. "Lift up that skirt and I might."
Lauren shook her head. "No time. We have reservations."
"You're wrong about that. There's always time," I replied. I set her down, turned her to face the mirror. I pointed to either side of its thick, wooden frame. "Hold on."
She reached forward while I tugged her hips back, flipped her skirt up. A dainty pair of panties greeted me, frilly and lacy and feigning innocence. "These are nice," I said, dragging a finger along the edges. Across her back, along her hip, down the curve of her ass. Down down down. "Too nice to ruin?"
She barked out a laugh, her breasts heaving as her shoulders shook. I fucking loved this mirror. The closet wasn't bad either. One of these days, I was going to congratulate myself on the design of this place. "Don't even think about it," she warned.
I reached between her legs, running my knuckles over the silky fabric separating me from her skin. "What should I think about, Lauren?" I asked. With my free hand, I moved her hair to one side. Leaned forward. Kissed her neck. Nipped her shoulder. "Should I think about sliding my hand under these panties? What about getting on my knees and licking you straight through them? Or should I pull them to the side and let you watch yourself getting fucked?" I wrapped her hair around my palm. "Tell me, sweetness. What should I think about?"
She dropped her head down, sighing as my knuckles traced her clit. "All of the above," she said. "But first, whichever you can accomplish in the least amount of time. I just need to get there and get there really fast. My mother will find a reason to come up here again and I won't handle things as well as you did. Great job, by the way. Remind me to put on a necklace or the jig will be up." She glanced at the mirror, met my gaze there. "Also, I've been looking forward to this night out all day. We're not missing our reservation."
"Okay," I murmured to myself. I hadn't walked into this closet with a Hail Mary at the ready but I wasn't leaving without a score. "All right. Here's what we're doing." I yanked her panties down, careful to keep the delicate fabric in good condition. I turned her, positioning her against the mirror just as she'd positioned me. Then I hit the floor. "Keep that dress out of my way."
"I know the drill," she said, a hint of laughter in her words. I dragged my hand up her thigh, then hooked her leg over my shoulder. I kept my hand locked around her other leg, as much for her stability as mine. I stared at her creamy skin and soft folds for a long moment, both chastising myself for staying away and wondering how it was possible for love to grow by orders of magnitude, even after six years. "I guess the question is whether you remember it too."
I blinked out of my thoughts, shooting her a feral grin. "I remember," I promised. Then, "Please stop me immediately if anything hurts."
She layered her hand over the one I had stationed on her leg. "I always do."
I didn't give myself another second to overthink. I bowed my head, brought my tongue to her clit, and pushed two fingers inside her. The resulting sound was not one of pain but I still went easy on her. No biting, no hard thrusting, no teasing at her backside. None of that until specifically requested. But fuck me, did her body feel good. My god, I loved the pulse of her clit against my tongue. And the taste of her, Jesus Christ. Nothing better.
"Oh my god," she whispered, her hand curling around my collar. "I'm—you were right about this being the fastest route because I'm—oh my god, I've missed this so much and don't stop and don't stop and don't stop—and ahhhh."
As if I could forget.
I licked her through the last tremors of her orgasm, kissing and sucking until she pressed her legs together and said, "No more. Please. I won't want to leave if you keep going and I really need us to leave."
I kissed
her leg down to her knee before helping her step into her panties. "I don't know what's going on here," I said as I straightened her dress, "but I like it. More, please."
I tugged my shirt over my head, wiped the fabric over my damp lips. But I didn't stand up. Couldn't. Not with this view.
She pinched the dress between her fingers. "Yeah? It looks good?"
"You know that's not what I'm talking about." I batted her hand away from the fabric. "I love it when you're bossy. When you're dirrrrty. When you don't give a fuck whether your mother is in our bedroom while you're sucking my cock. When you remind me to get my head out of my ass and put it between your legs."
She glanced away, a smile tugging at her lips. "It's nice to hear you say it."
I pushed to my feet. "I'll say it any time you need to hear it." I traced her deep-cut neckline. "But I was serious about needing a scarf and jacket if you think the Commodore is letting you out of the house like this."
Lauren surveyed the hip farm-to-table restaurant, nodding to herself. "This is a big improvement over The Red Hat." She glanced back at me with a sweet smirk. "You've stepped up your game."
I held my arms out wide. "How could I not? In the eternal words of my brother, I was shambles back then."
She pushed her hair over her shoulder, tucked it behind her ear. "You were not shambles." She stared at the water goblets between us, her gaze unfocused. "God. We were so young. So young." With a laugh, she shook her head. "And eager. As if we had to conquer the world then and there, before it got away from us."
"I was concerned you were going to get away from me," I replied.
She traced the base of her goblet, her finger traveling the circumferences once, twice. "That was never an option. Not really."
"Finally. The truth comes out," I muttered.
"I just…I just didn't know how to manage all the big things in my life," she admitted, her words turning a bit wistful. "It felt like all or nothing."
"But I love that about you," I said. "I love that you dive in head first. I love that you don't do anything halfway because you just don't know how." I reached for her goblet, moved it to the side so I could lace my fingers with hers. "I love that you made me work for it."
"Let's not get carried away." She smiled down at our joined hands. "I barely recognize that version of us anymore."
"Do you miss it?" I asked.
"Parts of it, yeah. I miss being self-involved, you know? Focusing only on my interests and goals, and negotiating with myself about buying fancy underwear and eating chocolate for breakfast like those were important decisions. Being the center of my universe and worrying only about myself. You can't be self-involved when you get married, when you have a baby. You stop being the center of your universe. You have other universes." She gave me a shy smile. "But I don't miss feeling like I didn't know what I was doing. It's not like I know what I'm doing now," she said, laughing. "But it's different. Somehow."
"It is different," I agreed. "I know you'll be there every night when I come home." I jerked a shoulder up. "Unless you're out drinking with Shannon."
"There's not too much of that happening now that she's pregnant. Again." Lauren gave a tiny, bewildered headshake. "I don't understand how she does it. We have one and we're shambles."
"I know," I replied, more emphatic than strictly necessary. "She's fielding a basketball team like it's nothing and we're falling apart with one little insomniac on our hands."
"Maybe that's all we need," she said, squeezing my fingers. "One little insomniac."
"What about five kids and two dogs, like we discussed?"
"Say that again and I will stab you with this spoon," Lauren replied, her free hand curling around the cutlery.
I reached across the table, prying the silverware from her grip. "I was joking," I said. "It was a terrible joke. Awful timing. Wrong tone. Forgive me."
Her lips twisted with doubt. "Really?"
"Yes," I replied, patting the tabletop as if that gesture would add credence to my words. "I'll do anything you want. Sweetness, you know that. But god help me, my world fell apart the day Maddie arrived. Watching you—not being able to do anything to help you—my world collapsed. And then they put our little girl in my arms." I shook my head to ward off the wave of emotion accompanying that memory. "I held her and my world came back together."
"And you don't want to do that again." She stared at me, her gaze intent, as if she was digging through everything I'd said to unearth the truth.
"I'll do anything you want," I repeated. I meant that. Even if I wanted Lauren all to myself, I'd sooner die than deny her anything.
The waiter arrived to take our drink orders and discuss the evening's featured dishes but Lauren never stopped staring at me.
Once we were alone again, she said, "We don't have to decide anything right now. Regardless of my mother's suggestions, we can wait. Revisit this topic in a few months. Maybe a few years." She lifted a shoulder. "Maybe…not at all." She glanced away. "But please don't tell me you'll do whatever I want. Tell me what you want."
I leaned closer to her, moving everything out of my way. Plates, napkins, goblets, everything. I didn't want anything between us right now. "I want you," I said. "I want you. Nothing else matters to me."
"Says the man with blowjob brain."
"Yeah, that's accurate," I replied. "But I knew that before you dragged me into the closet."
"There was no dragging. You went there willingly," she remarked.
"Because I want you." I took both her hands in mine, squeezed as if I could send my words through her skin and into her heart because that was where I needed them. "There was a time when we talked about five kids. The house, the kids, the dogs. The whole damn thing. We were doing it, nothing was going to slow us down. And it made sense too. I'm one of six, you're one of three. Siblings are a way of life for us."
"I know," she said softly, almost mournfully, her brow crinkling. "That's why—that's why this is difficult."
I shook my head. "How many cousins does Maddie have now? Three? Another on the way?"
"As far as I know, yes," she agreed. "Andy was drunk this afternoon so I don't think she's on the list. Erin's holding off another year or so. Tiel says she's out of the game."
"And how many weddings do we have coming up?"
"Several." She stared at the reclaimed wood table for a second. "Magnolia. After everything she's been through, that girl deserves the biggest party. I can't wait for that wedding. And Riley. The Walshes take over Tahoe. That's going to be a time. There's Jordan and April's wedding which will be crawling with Navy SEALs. I wonder if she's decorating her own cake." A squeak sounded in her throat. "And Wes and Tom. I'm sure they'll make it official sooner or later. I'm not rushing them. I'm just happy Wes is alive and fully recovered."
"That's a lot of weddings."
"It is," Lauren agreed. "I'm excited. I'm excited for the things to come."
I nodded. "And the babies. Maddie has plenty of cousins and more on the way. She doesn't need a load of siblings to have a big, loud family. We don't have to make more babies just because we thought it sounded like a good idea at one point. We can love the one we have, and love each other." I rubbed my thumb over the backside of her rings. "I've missed you so much. I can't lose you again."
"You won't lose me," she replied. "But I'm afraid you'll forget how to love me like you're in love with me. That was how I felt, Matthew. Like you didn't see me, didn't want me, didn't need me the way I needed you."
I studied her as if I hadn't seen her in years. I saw the same green eyes flecked with gold, the same blonde hair she passed onto our daughter, the same sweet smile with a dash of sin. It reminded me of the first time I'd set eyes on her. A crisp autumn day, a dilapidated church, a pair of leopard-print heels. I'd loved her right from the start. I'd loved her and chased her and kept her but this woman right here—the one who held my world in the palm of her hand—she was the one who kept me.
"I'll never let yo
u feel that way again, sweetness," I said, lifting her hands to my lips. "Never."
5
Lauren
The drive home from dinner was quiet. Matthew kept his hand on my thigh while he drove and I kept my hand wrapped around his forearm. This was good. This was everything I needed.
Our life was different now and we were different too but when all the layers of adulting and marriage and parenthood slipped away, we were the same people we'd always been. All the things swirling around me—the new house, the new kid, the new roles—didn't change anything. Nothing that truly mattered.
And nothing beat the power of giving a good blowjob.
Matthew pulled into the driveway, squeezing my thigh when the car stopped. "How was that for an evening out, Mrs. Walsh?"
I glanced up at our suburban house, the one Matthew tore apart and rebuilt just in time for Madeleine's arrival. "It was perfect, Mr. Walsh. Thank you for indulging me."
"I look forward to indulging in you soon." He pointed at the dashboard clock. "By my estimation, we're looking at one more feeding tonight before Maddie will fight her way to sleep. I'll take this shift if you promise to wear nothing but those little panties to bed. And listen"—he brought his hand to my face, running his thumb over my lips—"if I do ruin them, you'll just have to replace them."
I lifted a shoulder. Let it fall. I hadn't shopped for fancy undies in ages. Not since functionality became my primary goal. "I guess I could do that."
"Yes, you can," he replied, his thumb on my bottom lip. "Now, let's get to work. I will do whatever it takes to get inside you within the next hour."
"You have a high-level plan," I said. "But we need to talk logistics before we go anywhere. We can't have sex with the baby in the bedroom and we haven't transitioned her into her room yet."
Foundations: A Happy Ever After Romance (The Walsh Series Book 9) Page 4