I unwrapped my arm and backed away when Kate and Cami rushed at her and attacked from opposite sides.
A chair. We needed another chair. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed one. I set it next to the others right about the time Lena hit the floor. The three of us hefted her onto the seat.
I taped her legs as Kate took another roll and taped her upper torso. We were just putting on the finishing touches when a red-faced, very angry Agent Griswold and four other agents blasted in through the open door.
They stopped short, staring at our three duct taped mummies. “What the…?”
Cami looked at a silver clock on the fireplace mantle. The big hand was on 12:00, the little hand on 3:00. She struck a seductive pose, batted her long lashes and said, “Right on time Agent Griswold.”
He sputtered, “God damn it. I told you to stay out of this. I’m going to arrest you three. I’m going to…”
I’d had it. The ungrateful jerk. Sure we were supposed to stay out of it, but we had saved the day, just like Mighty Mouse. I definitely meant to sound bitchy when I said, “Not even a thank you? They’re all wrapped up for you, Agent Griswold. All you have to do it take them away. We were only going to watch from afar, but if we had, they would have gotten away. Julia and Matt were going to leave Lena, or should I call her Ghost, holding the bag.”
He sneered at me. “And that would have happened because…”
“Because they were going to double cross Lena and take off around, oh, I guess it was 2:30. We only planned to hide in those rhododendron bushes by the gate so we could watch. But when it was obvious they were flying the coop, we had to stop them.” I couldn’t help but notice the grins on my friends’ faces.
By now Julia had come ’round. Lena was conscious, too, and swearing up a storm. Matt was trying to say something despite the duct tape, but he could only manage grunts.
Griswold kept staring at the taped trio, shaking his head in disbelief. He tried to stifle a laugh and when he could hold his laughter no longer, he lambasted us. “Well, I’ll be damned! You got lucky, you know. What if you’d gotten yourselves killed?” He bent down and picked up the gun. “Looks like they were playing for keeps. If you ever try anything this stupid again, I promise, I will arrest you. How in the Hell did you get all three of them?”
Cami made her voice teasing and draped her arm around Kate’s shoulders. “We’re black belts. Comes in handy.”
Two agents set about freeing Julia, Matt and Lena from their chairs by slowly cutting, then pulling the tape. Once their arms were cut free, another agent used those plastic handcuff thingies to secure their wrists. Julia’s big gulping sounds filled the room, and her face was covered with red blotches.
When an agent pulled the tape from Matt’s mouth, he immediately let loose with a litany, cursing the agent for pulling part of his mustache with it and insisted someone had to listen to him. The agent paid no attention, but continued to pull off row after row of the tape. Bits of it stuck to Matt’s silk shirt. He cringed every time a ripping sound signaled that another chunk of silk was being torn off with the tape. Freed from the chair, Matt staggered to his feet muttering, “Damn it. You guys will be in hot water. I demand that you listen to what I have to say. And look what you’ve done to my Gucci shirt. It’s ruined.”
Griswold gave Matt an indulgent smile and said, “You know what, Big Shot? That’s what they all say. You’ll have a chance to have your say, but not right now. By the way, don’t sweat it. I suspect they won’t be wearing Gucci where you’re going.”
~49~
I forgot to turn on my cell until we were back at the condo. When I did, it went ballistic. Beep! Beep! Beep!
Every message—all ten of them—from Nathan, ranging from worried to furious. If he had spoken to Griswold, I wasn’t sure I had the courage to deal with him. When I finally did call back, I suppose he saw my number on his caller ID because let me tell you, he was beyond furious. “What happened, Kimberly! I told you to stay out of it!”
I hoped he heard the apology in my voice. “We were only going to watch, I swear. We were hiding in the bushes a good distance from the house when they began putting suitcases and boxes in Julia’s car. It was only 2:30. Griswold wasn’t due for another half hour and they would have been gone. I wanted to call you, but my phone was dead. Then Kate and Cami took off like commandos. What could I do?”
It took a lot of explaining, but thankfully he finally said, “Kimberly, the three of you are lucky to be alive. Tell your sidekicks to cancel their flights home. I’m flying to Seattle tomorrow morning, and want all of you to hear what I have to say in person.”
Naturally when reality set in and the adrenaline settled down, I realized that besides placing ourselves in danger, this whole ludicrous situation might also have a devastating effect on our jobs and the future of CRS.
Instead of dwelling on the looming consequences, we decided not to worry until Nathan had his say. We went to one of my favorite restaurants for dinner, determined to reward ourselves for a job well done regardless of what the next day held. We made a stalwart attempt to avoid discussing the inevitable, but I caved in while waiting for desert.
“What do you think will happen to CRS? Are we going to be out of jobs again?”
As usual, Kate was the voice of practicality. “We might not have to worry about a job at all if the reward is big enough. It could run into quite a bit from the research I’ve done. I’m not sure if we qualify for the Whistleblower Act, but even if we don’t they will reward us.”
Stupid me. I’d forgotten there might be a substantial reward. Obviously Kate had given it plenty of thought. We went back to the condo on a high note.
The next morning Nate called from the car rental counter. I asked him to come to the condo instead of the office and gave him the address and directions. We rushed around straightening things up, chattering about what to expect, then plopped down on my comfortable living room furniture to wait for him. By the way, have I mentioned I truly like the new sofas and chairs better than the ones Ryan made off with?
An hour later the security buzzer sounded and I let him in.
He gave each of us a peck on the cheek and appeared to be in good spirits.
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m still pretty pissed off, but because of you we’ve managed to tie up over $30,000,000 which will be returned to the government. We’re taking possession of Julia’s mansion, too, since it was purchased with stolen government funds. That will bring a few million more.”
The words flowed out of my mouth before I had a chance to think. “You mean you’ll recover about $33,000,000 including the house? Wow. I’ll bet it took a lot to track the money.”
“Not as hard as it sounds, actually. There’s an organization based in Belgium called SWIFT. Society of Worldwide Interbank Telecommunications is quite a mouthful, isn’t it? Anyway, the FBI was able to track all of the transfers and deposits to various offshore accounts through SWIFT. However, we only found accounts for Julia and Lena. Maybe Matt was just a hired hand, after all. Here’s your good news. Each of you can expect to receive a reward of about $1,000,000.”
The blood pounded in my temples, but in a good way. $1,000,000!
Nathan said, “There’s more. As I suspected, although we tried to keep it pretty low profile, the story is out already. You can expect to be contacted for interviews and I want to coach you about what to say.”
Cami had a gleam in her eyes. “Interviews? Why?”
“Because for at least a few days you’ll be America’s sweethearts. They love stuff like this for talk shows. You have to look out for the Department of Justice and not make us look like fools.”
I sat there nodding with dollar signs dancing in my head.
He laced his fingers together, peaked them and leaned forward. “You might not be interested in this now that you’re going to be wealthy, but we’re moving Consulting Resource Services to Washington D.C.” He cleared his throat. “This fiasco made us realize w
e need to have better control so nothing like this can ever happen again.”
The more he talked in that sexy voice of his, the more I kept visualizing Nathan in a very different way than as the Attorney General of the United States. Oh man, I wanted to be wrapped in his arms. But I was afraid our escapade had killed any chance of that.
He smiled. His eyes did look seductive. “Kimberly, would you consider relocating to D.C.? FACR wants me to offer you Julia’s job, if you’re interested. By the way, there is no reason for you to have to spend much time at Paradise Hills Prison. Maybe a short trip every few months. That was something Julia dreamed up to keep on top of her other business.”
Well, that was unexpected. Yes, his eyes were seductive. I was never one of those luncheon and canasta types and I did like working with all of our team. Besides, I knew I could do Julia’s job better than she ever did. On the other hand, the idea of not being tied to a job appealed to me, too. “Let me consider it, Nathan.” He nodded. Be still my heart.
“Okay, I’ll wait for your answer.”
He turned to Kate. “I have an offer for you as well. Would you consider becoming Vice President of Sales? Before you say no, it’s a traveling position and you wouldn’t have to leave San Francisco. I’d love for you to consider it.”
She didn’t wait to reply. “Thanks, Nate. I appreciate the offer, but once I get the reward, I have other plans. Uncovering all of this made me realize just how many clever frauds and scams people cook up.”
At that moment, I was sure she was thinking about how she’d been hoodwinked, too.
She continued, “I’ve decided to launch a blog called FraudBusters.com. I’ve already grabbed the URL. I’m thinking I might even write a book called “The Great American Ripoff,” or something like that. Who knows? I’m looking forward to what this could become.”
Nathan said, “Cami—”
Cami’s head shook back and forth like someone watching an active tennis match. “Count me out, Nate. I’ve had enough of this. As soon as I collect the money I’m starting my own advertising agency. She giggled her adorable little giggle. “I’ll show that old goat who fired me. I plan to steal several of his clients.”
Nate said, “I understand. I thought you might say something like that, Kid. Well on the bright side, all the media exposure over the next few months should help. You’ll be famous and you know how clients love to be around fame.
Kate moved onto the couch next to Cami. “Hey, Cami, want to handle my advertising and PR? Let me be your first client.”
EPILOGUE
After considering all the pros and cons, I finally did accept the job as Executive Director of CRS. Nate saw to it my title was better than Julia’s, and he was right about the amount of the reward. Mine was just over $1,000,000 and I used part of it as a down payment on a great place in Georgetown. The rest went into investments.
One of my first decisions was to bring the whole sales staff together to celebrate the new CRS. Sort of a rebirth. Nate suggested using Julia’s former mansion since that was where they learned they were being cheated, and that’s exactly what we did before escrow closed. I can’t tell you how good it felt to pay all of those hard-working women the money they had earned. Kate and Cami came, too, although they were both busy setting up their new businesses.
It wasn’t a lavish affair like the one Julia threw, but more in keeping with what a government staff celebration should be. While the festivities were in full swing, Cami tugged at my sleeve. “Excuse yourself for a few minutes. Kate and I are requesting your presence in what was Julia’s study. Don’t ask questions, just come.”
I allowed myself to be led up the stairs. Three glasses sat on Julia’s former desk. When we gathered around, Kate popped the cork on a bottle of Krug 1990 champagne which I happen to know sells for over $200 a bottle. She filled each glass to the brim.
“My treat, Ladies. Now that we’re all millionaires, a toast is in order.”
Cami and I echoed, “To the Fraud Busters.”
Then Cami said, “Kimberly we appoint you toastmaster.”
I made a show of clearing my throat, then recited one of my favorite quotes from the late football coach Paul Bryant. “Winning isn't everything, but it beats anything that comes in second.” We clicked glasses, downed the bubbly and went downstairs to join the others.
• • • • •
Over the next year I settled into life in D.C. as though it was second nature. I wasn’t wrong about the look in Nathan’s eyes. I really love the guy, and I do think I’ve made a good choice this time. They say dreams seldom come true, but my clouds are back to having silver linings. He has been hinting at marriage and the minute he pops the question, I’ll probably break a speed record when I accept.
• • • • •
Julia and Lena received stiff sentences. Word travels fast in our government circles, and from what I’ve heard Julia has put on at least 50 pounds in prison. As for Lena, I hear she’s landed in isolation twice for instigating fights.
Matt’s sentence was lighter than theirs. As it turned out, he wasn’t much more than an idea man receiving the HRF payoffs. Lena and Julia were the ones reaping the big bucks. I’d sort of hoped he wasn’t guilty, but that’s for the movies. He was as guilty as sin.
In case you’re wondering about Bruce, shortly after I got settled in my new job, I heard that his wife divorced him and ran off with her hot, young pool guy. Washington is a gossipy town. With all the attorney power Bruce hired, he received a relatively light sentence, a good part of it suspended. I guess he will have to use his own credit cards for his naughty pleasures in the future, though.
As if that wasn’t enough, this morning I received a FedEx package from Tree. Inside was a beautifully framed newspaper article.
Love ‘em and Leave ’em lothario takes severe beating at Paradise Hills Prison
Martin Greene, Staff reporter.
Ryan Weatherly, the notorious Love ‘Em and Leave ‘Em con man currently serving time at Paradise Hills Federal Prison, was severely beaten about 7:00 Thursday morning when a fight broke out in the shower. Weatherly claimed another inmate made advances, then attacked him when he refused.
Among Weatherly’s injuries were several broken ribs, a punctured lung, a compound fracture of his right forearm, a shattered left kneecap and a severe facial battering.
It looks like this Casanova, who made a career of romancing and bilking older women, will need to find a new line of work when his sentence is up. Doctors say his facial damage is so extensive, even with reconstructive surgery Weatherly certainly won’t be able to depend upon his looks to lure prey.
One of his victims contacted this reporter with a statement after seeing the report on Channel 3. Preferring to remain anonymous, she confided there is a group of women in Seattle who called themselves the Sisterhood of the Conned Cougars, all victims of the captivating Mr. Weatherly. She said, “We had a hand in putting him away, and what happened was nothing more than what he deserved.”
I read the clipping a second time, wondering who had spoken to the reporter. Back when I was one of the “Conned Cougars,” we had a common goal: to make sure Ryan was sent to prison. I don’t remember who came up with the name, but it stuck. Obviously no one had forgotten.
I’m happy to report that thanks to her talent and Cami’s ad campaign, Kate’s website has taken off like a rocket. Kate has drafted the outline of a book about our escapades and Cami’s boyfriend is preparing a representation agreement to pitch it as a movie. And, lest I forget to mention it, Cami continues to count more and more former clients from her old agency, Reed/Cunningham, as hers. Poetic justice!
Sometimes I think about that first day with all of us sitting around the conference table introducing ourselves. If I hadn’t squeezed into the elevator between Kate and Cami and suggested having lunch together, there probably would have been no Fraud Busters, no million dollars and no Nathan Hartman in my life. My two friends awoke my spirit of adven
ture and although I was terrified most of the time, in a way I miss the intrigue.
Kimberly Martin, amateur undercover agent, signing off for now.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Morgan St. James is an award-winning author with ten published books to her credit. The latest, co-authored with Dennis Griffin and Bella Capo was released in October, 2013 from Houdini Publishing. La Bella Mafia is Bella Capo’s true story of surviving despite overwhelming odds.
In addition to books she has written on her own, Morgan’s funny crime capers the comical Silver Sisters Mysteries series co-authored with her real-life sister, Phyllice Bradner. More information about Morgan and all of her books, websites and blogs can be found on www.morganstjames-author.com
St. James has written over 500 published articles related to writing and frequently presents workshops, appears on author’s panels and radio or TV shows. The columns inspired her book Writers Tricks of the Trade as well as a bi-monthly eZine of the same name.
She lives in Las Vegas NV with her husband and dog Dylan.
Caroline Rowe graduated from college armed with a degree in Interior Design and she designed spaces ranging from healthcare and educational facilities to hospitality. Her diverse background, design education and passion for solving problems easily qualified Caroline for the position of sales executive, marketing products manufactured by the real prison system. She says she appreciated time spent growing her region's Federal customer base and interacting with contracting agents and clients. Rowe resides in Seattle, Washington with her husband and son.
This is her debut novel.
• • • • •
St. James and Rowe met while they were both part of the marketing team for prison-manufactured furniture and conceived the idea for this fictional comical crime caper.
Ripoff Page 24