Embers of the Past

by Bethany Atwood

  “Yeah, I guess… Though I still wish I was taller… Having to rely on others for things I can’t reach, I feel like a child…”

  “To be fair, you do look like one.” Demetri teases, Kagura glaring over at him before he puts his hands up apprehensively. “Hey, it’s true. Those pigtails aren’t doing you any favors, Grins, and that metal mouth of yours? You hardly look sixteen.”

  “… Great, I’m turning seventeen in a few weeks, and I still look like a dumb child… Simply wonderful…” Kagura tosses her head back before clenching her eyes shut, a sigh escaping before she finds herself tugged against Mer’ania’s side.

  “That’s right, your birthday is coming up soon Kags. We should all celebrate it together, it’s not every day you turn seventeen after all.” Mer’ania swiftly changes the topic to a better one, Kagura visibly relaxing against the demoness while she speaks. “After all of the chaos of the past weeks, we could all use something fun to brighten our spirits.”

  “Now that’s a good idea Mer’ania, we could throw a small party for Kagura, it would certainly help us cheer up, and we can give Kagura some happy memories too.” Esmerelda says in agreement, Kagura opening her eyes and sighing.

  “I could probably convince mama to get us some food and stuff for the party, we could have it in mine and Mer’ania’s dorm. Mama always goes into town the day of to get my gifts from mom, so I can’t see why she would be against getting us some stuff for a get together.”

  “March 3rd is on a Saturday, so that’ll be a perfect day to celebrate. We’ve got plenty of time until then, so we can plan things out.” Mer’ania pecks the top of Kagura’s head before hugging around her waist loosely, the brunette promptly gaining a rosy blush on her cheeks in response.

  “Definitely, it should start getting a little warmer out by then, so we can spend some of the day outside, it’ll be nice not needing a heavy coat to enjoy the outdoors. Though, I’m sure I have something coming up just before then, I can’t remember what though… I’ll ask mama when I go to see if she could get us some things for a party, she always remembers important things.” Kagura hums out, head tilting forward so she may look between her friends.

  “I’ll be back in a little guys, I promised mom I’d video chat with her the day I was released from the medical ward, and I want to dress in pajamas as well.” The others nod before Kagura stands up, the brunette retreating into her shared dorm for twenty minutes while the others resume chatting amongst themselves.

  “I know it’s probably a bit early to ask, but you guys have any plans for the summer?” Malchion questions, Mer’ania chuckling before nodding while Demetri merely shrugs.

  “Kagura and her parents are coming to visit for a while this summer, though I have a surprise for her as well that I’d been arranging. Aside from that, I don’t think me and the family are doing all that much, a relaxing summer sounds perfect to me.” Mer’ania hums out, Esmerelda unable to resist smiling wide at that.

  “Aw, that’s sweet! Me, Malchion, and our parents are gonna go sightseeing again, there’s more we’d wanted to see last summer, but not enough time for it all, so we’re planning on trips to each nation to see more of what there is to see.” She hums out, Malchion nodding in confirmation.

  “Man, you’re all going to do these fun, cool things, and I have no clue what I’m even doing for the summer. Lame.” Demetri huffs, laughter echoing out before the four continue chatting. Kagura rejoins them before too long, Seraphine in her arms, settling in at Mer’ania’s side now dressed in a long dark blue gown adorned with white paw prints, her favorite pajamas having been ruined during the battle.

  “Welcome back Grins. Those new?” Demetri questions, Kagura nodding before placing her familiar on her lap.

  “My old pajamas were ruined during the battle, so mama got me these. At least they have long sleeves, and they’re warm.” She sighs out, fingers idly stroking down Seraphine’s back.

  “Oh, those are cute Kagura, they suit you.” Malchion smiles as he compliments the smaller teen, making her blush once again, a quiet thanks being uttered before she leans against Mer’ania’s side.

  “So, um… What were you all talking about while I was away?” She asks, Seraphine purring away happily as she’s pet further.

  “Oh, just summer plans, nothing too exciting.”

  Chapter 15: Celebrate All Night

  “Hey shortpuff, happy birthday! How does it feel to finally be seventeen?”

  “Thanks, mom. It… Honestly, it doesn’t feel different, I know I’m older, but… I still feel the same.”

  As Kagura chats with Nev’aran through her tome, face visible on the screen, the freshly turned seventeen-year-old can’t help but smile, her mood as positive as can be.

  “I know things have been rough these past months, but hey, you’re seventeen now, today’s a day for celebration.” The demoness says with a rosy smile of her own, a hand pressing to her cheek after a few moments. “You know, Kagura… You grow up so fast, it feels like just yesterday that me and your mother were taking you in, it’s hard to believe that it’ll be ten years this year since we did.”

  “Time sure does fly, mom… One day you’re a scared seven-year-old waking up in the hospital, the next, you’re a seventeen-year-old who isn’t any less scared but knows how to control it. Well… Most of the time, at least.” Kagura chuckles before sighing longingly, smile softening the barest amount. “Anyway, I should get going mom, it was nice talking to you again.”

  “Sounds like a plan, I’ll talk to you later shortpuff, enjoy the rest of your birthday for me.” Once the video call ends Kagura gets up off her bed and tucks her tome into her pocket, headband being fussed with afterwards before she departs the dorm. The brunette meets up with Mer’ania, who had been waiting nearby, the two locking hands before sharing a quick kiss.

  “Hey there birthday girl, have a nice chat with your mom?” As the demoness speaks she walks along with Kagura following at her side, a nod being given by the shorter teen before a happy sigh is breathed out.

  “Always, I love talking with mom. I’m excited to see her when summer break comes around, with all this stuff happening a relaxing and fun summer is just what we all need.” Humming out her reply, Kagura leans against Mer’ania gently, her smile gradually growing as she savors the time she’s spending with her girlfriend.

  “Oh, I couldn’t agree more. The Earthener attacks, the battle, you getting hurt, all we need is just a relaxing summer together, and you’ll be coming to visit, which will make it even better.”

  Mer’ania guides Kagura out of the school and onto its grounds, the island alight with activity now that Winter is nearing its end. Once outside the demoness unceremoniously hoists up Kagura and seats her on her shoulders, a startled noise leaving the brunette as she finds herself suddenly high off the ground.

  “M… Mer! Warn me when you do that, you know it startles me!” Even as Kagura whines Mer’ania continues to smile, allowing the smaller teen to lightly grip her head for support while she’s carried.

  “I know, I know, sorry Kags.” She chuckles out, lightly gripping Kagura’s ankles to keep her secure while she walks along. “With Winter ending in a few weeks, it feels much nicer out, not nearly as cold as it had been.”

  “Yeah, it’s… Honestly refreshing. Instead of frigid air it’s just cool, crisp, not something I’d be in all the time but far better than the cold that lets snow form.” From her tall perch Kagura looks around the island, better able to see the school’s grounds from more than six feet off the ground. “Spring and Autumn are honestly the best, I’ll never believe otherwise.”

  “I get why some people like summer, no school, sunshine for days and time to do whatever you’d like, but the heat can get intense.” Esmerelda’s voice interrupts from nearby, the two teens looking towards her as she approaches. “Hey Mer’ania, not so short Kagura. Having a good day you two?”

  “As good as can be considering what today is.” Kagura says as her g
rin grows further, lips parting to give her smile a toothiness to it.

  “I can’t imagine having a terrible birthday when you’re with friends, sometimes I wish mine and Malchion’s birthday wasn’t over winter break, it would be nice to celebrate with you all.” The angel says with a soft sigh, gaze drifting between Mer’ania and the teen on her shoulders. “Though if I recall right, yours is over summer break, isn’t it Mer’ania?”

  “It is, yes, though I won’t be spending it alone this year. Since Kagura and her parents are coming to visit over the summer, I’ll be able to spend it with them and my family.” As she speaks Mer’ania tilts her head back and smiles up at Kagura, who smiles right back at her before looking to Esmerelda.

  “Aw, how sweet!” Esmerelda giggles out, quite elated by the news. “Oh, that gives me an idea! Me and Malchion live in Lunaria, same as Kagura and Demetri… Maybe this year we can invite them over for a party, celebrate our birthday together.”

  “… Well that’s a great idea Esme, why didn’t we think of that sooner? I mean, we don’t live too far from each other, it would be easy for us to just have a get together at your guys’ house, celebrate your birthday.” Kagura resists the urge to facepalm at how obvious the idea is, instead glancing around for a few moments before speaking further. “Is Malchion not around? I know Demetri’s doing some studying in the library before our little party, what’s Malc doing?”

  “Spending time with his boyfriend, if I recall right they’re on one of the hills together. I figured I’d get some fresh air and go on a short walk, and I happened to run into you two.” Esmerelda looks towards the hills on the western side of the island for a few moments before turning her gaze back to the two she’d been conversing with, focusing specifically on Kagura. “By the way birthday girl, were you able to talk your mom into getting us some things for our party tonight?”

  “Of course I was. She’s in Lunaria right now visiting mom and picking up a few things, she said she’ll be back in a few hours and have food and drinks for us, alongside my gifts from her and mom. She said something about wanting to make today special for me, that she’s happy to get whatever we needed.” The angel nods as Kagura speaks, fingers beginning to sift through her hair for a few moments.

  “Must be nice having a mom who teaches here, she can get you things you need and you always have her when you want to see her.” She teases, making the shorter teen blush a fair amount while looking off to the side.

  “… I… I guess… It’s nice knowing she’s near if I need her, though… I try not to visit her too much, I really don’t want to be seen as a mamas’ girl by others…” Kagura murmurs a response before glancing downward, Mer’ania chuckling and lightly patting her calves a few times in an attempt at consoling her.

  “I doubt anyone thinks of you that way Kags, Professor Melangreve is your mother, and you her daughter, but that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, I’m sure people think of you more as a fighter and a hero than a mama’s girl, you did defend some first years and put yourself at risk after all.”

  “Yeah Kagura, you are a hero after all, you and everyone else who fought that day. Even Demetri and Malchion are heroes, they may have not fought, but their medical training helped the injured after the battle. If a couple of fourth years can prove themselves and be heroic, just imagine how hard the fifth through seventh years fought that morning.” Esmerelda points out, her words drawing a redder blush out onto the smaller brunette’s cheeks.

  “I… I guess… I don’t feel like much of a hero though, I just… Acted on instinct… I moved without thinking, did what I learned to do, and fought as hard as I could, I just couldn’t let those first years get hurt.” Kagura’s dismissive reply is met with a slight frown from Esmerelda, Mer’ania sighing before drawing her girlfriend’s attention with a squeeze to her leg.

  “Kagura, you really need to stop being so dismissive of compliments all the time. I know you don’t feel like a hero, but you are, the scars on your arm show that you are. None of us wanted that battle to happen, nor could we have expected it, but we fought as hard as we possibly could, and that is what makes us heroes.” As Mer’ania speaks, a firmness to her tone, Kagura clenches her eyes shut, looking as if she’s struggling to fight an inner turmoil.

  “What kind of hero cries herself to sleep after waking up from a nightmare? What kind of hero has a panic attack just at the sight of certain people? Heroes are supposed to be brave, confident, ready to face any threat and be there for others… I’m not any of that, how could I possibly be anyone’s hero…” Kagura’s words strike a chord in both Mer’ania and Esmerelda, the demoness carefully lifting the brunette off her shoulders before pulling her into a firm embrace.

  “Kagura… I know it hurts, I know what you lost in the war, how it affected you, but I know you’re stronger than this. I thought you still go to therapy, that helped you for a while, didn’t it?” Mer’ania speaks softly as she hugs Kagura close, the smaller teen emitting a choked-up noise as she slowly wraps her arms around the demoness in turn.

  “No… Last summer, I lied and convinced mom and mama that I was better, that I didn’t need to go anymore…” She reveals, quickly growing tense as both Mer’ania and Esmerelda make shocked noises. “They believed me, it helped for a while, but it’s still painful to talk about… I thought I would be fine without seeing a therapist anymore, that nothing bad would happen and I’d be alright… Guess I was wrong…”

  “Why didn’t you tell someone? Why… Why didn’t you tell me, Kags?” Kagura pulls herself out of Mer’ania’s grasp as a sigh escapes, her eyes opening and immediately focusing on the ground.

  “Because I was scared, Mer… I didn’t know how anyone would react if I told them I lied to stop therapy because I was afraid, because I hated talking about what happened… And now look what happened, I’m even more afraid, I’m doubting myself, it’s my birthday and instead of being happy I’m miserable and nervous…”

  “No one should be unhappy on their birthday, especially you Kagura.” Esmerelda begins to say, pressing a hand to Kagura’s shoulder reassuringly. “I know this is all painful, so lets put it behind us for now, focus on the day ahead and the party. Sound like a plan?” Kagura rubs at her eyes for a few moments before nodding, a weak smile forming after a few moments.

  “Y… Yeah… Sounds like a plan…”

  ~

  “Happy birthday Kagura!”

  A chorus of voices echo out together, Kagura unable to resist tearing up a little as she looks between her friends and girlfriend, all of whom have gathered in her shared dorm to celebrate her birthday. Rebecca had returned not long prior with gifts from her and Nev’aran, and food for their party, all of which had been piled around the dorm accordingly, while the teens are seated on Kagura and Mer’ania’s beds.

  “How does it feel being seventeen Grins? I’ve still got a few months to go myself, though the thought is rather exciting.” Demetri questions, grinning over at the birthday girl who looks to him in turn with a softer smile of her own.

  “It’s… It’s great, really. Seventeen means I’m one year closer to graduating, to becoming a mage like I’d dreamt of… You know, it feels like just yesterday that we were all firsties, learning magic for the first time, and here we are now, fourth years, and nearing the end of term… Time really does fly when you’re having fun, as they say, and I’ve enjoyed my time here greatly.”

  As Kagura falls silent Mer’ania tugs her close and kisses the crown of her head, something which unsurprisingly makes the diminutive brunette blush crimson and whine shyly while the others laugh. Once she calms herself, she begins to open her gifts, starting with those from her parents. Rebecca’s gifts comprise of a new nightgown that matches the one ruined in the battle, a framed picture of her, Nev’aran, and Kagura on the teen’s eight birthday, and a book of dessert recipes. From Nev’aran, she receives a gift certificate to her coffee shop, clothes, hair accessories, and a few cute pairs of earrings.

&nb
sp; “Earrings? But you don’t have your ears pierced.” Malchion questions, Kagura simply grinning as she looks them over.

  “I guess this means mom and mama agreed to let me get them pierced like I’d been asking them. They kept saying maybe, that they’ll discuss it, but never actually answered me, this is more than enough of an answer.”

  “You’re gonna look so adorable with your ears pierced Kagura, it’s nice that your mom got you a mix of longer earrings and shorter ones. The studs will be great for when we’re in combat training, and you can wear the longer ones elsewhere.” Esmerelda muses, looking over the various earrings in Kagura’s grasp.

  Setting aside the gifts from her parents, the brunette next opens the ones from her friends and girlfriend, in a much better mood than she had been hours earlier. Malchion and Esmerelda pooled together to get Kagura a gift certificate to a popular movie theater chain, the two grinning at Kagura as she looks to them.

  “Think of it this way Kagura, when you’re in Tal’vedan with Mer’ania, why not go on a date to the movies? If I recall right you both haven’t had a proper first date yet, that would be the perfect time.” Malchion’s suggestion draws a smile out onto Mer’ania’s face, Kagura blushing a bit while her own smile widens.

  “Right, right… Thanks you two, I really appreciate this.”

  Next, she opens Demetri’s gift, revealing a jar of popcorn kernels and some popcorn seasoning, Kagura deadpanning over at him while he simply laughs.

  “Demetri, you know I can’t have popcorn.” She dryly says, the elf simply shrugging before grinning further.

  “I know, you can save it for after you get your braces off, think of it as your first treat with a new smile.” His remark is met with a slightly pouty frown from her, and slight laughter from the others, the frown quickly fading into a small smile given that she’d expected no less from him.