Blue light rose from the well of roiling magic inside me, flowed down my arms and into Laurie. As the demon’s magic worked from the inside out, mine healed the damage from the outside in. Her scalp knitted itself together, bone shifted under my touch like puzzle pieces rearranging themselves. It was a strange and stomach-turning sensation, but I’d healed worse—with and without magic.
I closed my eyes, imagined I could see inside, see the injury I’d caused when I pushed her into the stone bench. Bit by bit, I willed the magic to heal her. To put back together what I’d broken apart. Underneath it all, the demon’s energy grew hotter and hotter, melting down the pieces and pushing them into place like warm wax molded to form new flesh, new bone.
Hazel eyes shot open, staring up at me in shock. Father Salvatore stood with his hands folded, visibly restraining himself from interfering. Behind him, Thomas gaped at me. He’d taken a step forward, one arm extended as if torn between striking me for hurting Laurie, or congratulating me for pushing the demon away. And beside him, Andy stared from me to Laurie with an emotion I couldn’t put my finger on—and wasn’t sure I wanted to.
“Laurie?” I asked.
“Yes.” The Italian accent softened the rasp in her voice. “You… What happened?” She winced and put a hand to her scalp. “Why does my head ache so?”
“You don’t remember?” Andy asked.
Laurie shook her head, then stopped as if that made the pain worse. She touched her cheek and her fingers came away smeared with blood. I gave her time to get her bearings, to note the blood on the grass, the bench. When she met my gaze again, it was with a new respect.
“You assaulted the demon to make it recede.”
“I asked nicely first.” I stood and held out a hand to help her up. Laurie started to accept the offer, then stopped, wrinkling her nose as she brushed the bloody ground. “Let me get that,” I offered. I gestured at her clothes, the ground, and the bench. “Prestidigitation.”
The blood vanished, leaving everything clean and blood-free. Laurie stared at her robes, then at her skimpy camisole. Her jaw tightened, and I passed her the blouse. Laurie put it on, pulling it closed over her chest, face tilted down as she fastened the buttons. It wasn’t until she pulled the buns free so her hair fell loose around her shoulders, that I realized she was crying.
“Are you all right?” Andy asked.
“No. No, I am not all right.” Her Italian accent thickened. “Father Salvatore, I failed. Again, I have failed. And more are dead.” She took a steadying breath before meeting his eyes. “And the most wretched part? I still cannot help but think the murderer took my salvation with them. My chance at redemption. Gone.” Tears wavered before falling down her face in thick droplets. “How can I think of myself when Corban and Christophe...?”
“It is not wrong to think of your soul in these dark times,” Thomas said fiercely. “You have every right to mourn what’s been stolen from you.”
Father Salvatore knelt beside her. “And I have told you before, child, God will not turn away from you. Where there is life, there is hope.”
“I am demon-bound,” Laurie sobbed. “I am demon-bound, and I shall remain so forever. I feel it like a sickness, a disease inside me that grows worse with every sunrise. It’s eating me from the inside, and soon there will be nothing left of me. Me, as I was, as He made me.”
She slumped over and pressed her palms flat against the grass. “Heavenly Father, forgive me. Forgive my weakness, forgive my sins. Do not forsake me, I beg you in the name of your son, our lord Jesus Christ.”
Thomas joined them, and together they prayed, heads bowed, lips moving without any sound.
I shifted uncomfortably. It wasn’t their faith that made me uneasy, but more the fact that I was here witnessing it. This was a private moment, and I had no choice but to remain. Whatever personal crisis Laurie was going through, there was a double homicide to think of. Two men were dead, and she’d called me. It was on me to see they received justice.
Andy stood a few feet away, waiting for them to finish. If he shared my discomfort at witnessing a private moment, he didn’t show it. In fact, despite maintaining a respectful silence, he didn’t pass up the opportunity to catch up on his notes.
Finally, Laurie pushed herself into a sitting position, finishing her prayer with her gaze cast skyward. Father Salvatore took one of her hands between both of his, murmured something too low for me to hear. Laurie straightened her spine in a show of determination. He helped her stand and they both faced me and Andy. Thomas was the last to rise, and I didn’t miss the way his gaze lingered on Laurie. The paladin would have no memory of the trick the demon had played on the young priest, but I doubted it was something Thomas would forget.
“Forgive me, Mother Renard,” Laurie said. “You have come a long way to help me, and I have been regrettably absent. I should have given you more warning, told you what to expect.”
“You were fighting a demon’s control, I can hardly blame you for being sparse with the details,” I assured her. “And it wasn’t far, I was already in Cleveland.”
Laurie gave me a small smile. “Our Lord works in mysterious ways.”
The smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, but she was obviously trying to stay positive. I gestured to Andy. “This is my partner, Agent Bradford of the FBI.”
“You work with the FBI?” She paused, glanced at Andy, then added, “A human?”
“We met on a previous case,” I explained.
She shook Andy’s hand, her brow furrowed in consideration. “Interesting. How did you learn of the Otherworld?”
“Shade asked for my help, and she had to explain a few things before I could agree,” Andy answered. He glanced at the church, then to Laurie. “It’s a long story, and I don’t want to be rude, but the first twenty-four hours in a homicide are crucial.”
Laurie flinched as if he’d struck her, her shoulders falling at the reminder of the day’s grisly events. “Of course.” She folded her hands in front of her. “You’ll have questions for me.”
Andy gestured for her to sit on the stone bench, but Laurie declined. “I’ll stand, if that’s all right?”
“That’s fine.”
Thomas came to stand behind Laurie, far enough to her right that she could see him out of her peripheral vision. A show of solidarity and support. Father Salvatore remained where he was, but he’d drawn his rosary again and rubbed his thumb over the beads as if he continued to pray even now.
Andy rested his pen on his notepad. “Lorelei said you two had a deal. You would allow her control last night for a farewell party, and she would let you have control this morning?”
Laurie crossed her arms. “Yes, that was our bargain. I wanted to have this morning to prepare, so I let it have its…night.”
“And you don’t remember any of it?” Andy asked.
“I am aware of nothing when it is in control.” Again, her accent grew thicker as her emotions intensified, this time with anger. “I thought it a curse at one time, not knowing what it had done—what it had made me do. But as the centuries passed, I found it was a blessing.” She tightened her arms around herself. “I don’t want to know.”
“If you and Lorelei are in control at different times, then how do you communicate?” Andy asked. “How did you arrive at this accord?”
“Meditation.” Laurie shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “It is possible for us to exist simultaneously on the astral plane, and we can communicate in that way.”
“The astral plane?” Andy asked.
“I’ll explain later,” I told him. “For now, think of it as a separate plane of existence where you can project a mental image of yourself.”
Andy scribbled in his notebook. “What about memories?” he asked. “Can you see her memories? Can she see yours?”
Laurie picked at a loose thread on her blouse, twisting it around and around. “It is possible, but we have arrived at an arrangement on that subject. I will not
spy on her memories, and she will respect my privacy in return.”
“That doesn’t sound like an arrangement you can trust a demon to keep,” I pointed out.
“No, it isn’t,” Laurie agreed. “At first, she did not respect it. She rifled through my memories, and once or twice, attempted to change one. As a demon, it is within her power to plant false memories, warp existing memories, or erase a memory altogether.” She gripped the thread and tore it out with one hard jerk. “I punished her with exorcisms every time. Although our unique situation proved resistant to separation, exorcisms still cause her a great deal of pain.” Her tone smacked of satisfaction when she said the last part. “It did not take long to convince her it would be in both our interests not to play such games.”
“You’ve attempted to have her exorcised before?” I asked.
She stared at me as if I’d slapped her. “It possessed me a thousand years ago. Did you think I gave up? Accepted my fate as demon-bound?” She took a step forward, hands falling to fists at her sides. “Do you think I don’t spend every day, every second, trying to rid myself of the filth that turns me from God? Makes me an abomination in his sight?”
“You are not an abomination,” Thomas said, stepping forward to catch her attention. “Don’t say that.”
I raised a hand in supplication, ready to apologize. But she cut me off before I could speak.
“My mistress lies in the basilica,” she ground out. “Honored for eternity in remembrance of her service to the church. I was the one she trusted to carry out her mission with her. I was her spiritual guide, the one who facilitated her communication with the Almighty. I stood by her side as she made kings kneel at the Pope’s feet. Kings bowed down before men of God because I was there to feed my mistress’ faith, to be her sword against the forces of evil and the men who would turn away from God to serve their own greed. I have served the Lord for centuries.”
Her voice broke, and for a second she glared at me, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “It is my fault she died,” she whispered. “I did not see her illness for what it was. I stood there when the doctor proclaimed gout to be the source of her suffering. I failed to recognize the demon’s presence until it was too late. It was my job to notice such things, to watch for tricks and lies from evil beings who sought to destroy my mistress and all her good works. I was to be ever vigilant, letting not even the smallest detail escape my notice.”
Father Salvatore stepped closer to her, but didn’t speak. I got the feeling he’d heard this story before, and wanted to be there to support Laurie as she told it again. Some stories never got easier.
“By the time I realized what had happened, the demon’s hold was too strong. I sent for an assistant, arranged the exorcism the same way I’d arranged so many others. But in my haste to free my mistress, I forgot the most important rule of exorcism. I went in with doubt in my heart.”
She stared into the distance, seeing something beyond the churchyard. She was no longer in Cleveland, standing in the churchyard anymore, next to a church that had seen better days, surrounded by skyscrapers that towered taller than any building of her day. She was far away in the past. Stepping into the room where she’d attempted to save her mistress. The room where she’d fought the demon for the first time. The room that in many ways, she’d never left.
“The demon sensed my weakness. It knew I blamed myself for not seeing it sooner, for not defending my mistress. It bided its time, letting the exorcism go on and on. For five days I fought it, called on God to force the demon from her body. And for five days it waited, hiding pieces of itself in my doubt so I could not rip it completely from her spirit. I weakened it, but it tricked me. In the moment that I was so certain would be my triumph, it struck.” A tear slid down her face. “It killed my assistant. And in that second of horror, that sterling moment of dawning realization, it shot from my mistress and used every last ounce of its force…to enter me.”
Her eyes drifted half closed, sending a fresh cascade of tears down both cheeks. “I was so tired. So tired. So weak. So…weak.” She spat the last word. “I hadn’t eaten, hadn’t slept. I was as near death as the demon. And when it possessed me, it bound our lifeforces together.”
“That’s why I couldn’t sense the demon,” Peasblossom hissed into my ear. “They’ve been bound for centuries, and if their souls are truly melded, then the demon is no longer pure evil. As it contaminated her, so she contaminated it.”
“You were both so close to death, it took both of you to sustain one life.” My voice came out hoarse, as if the horror of what I’d said had stripped my words of their force.
“Life.” She sneered. “This is no life. I have lost everything I was. My power is gone, poisoned by the stain on my soul. I no longer channel the glory of God, I no longer have the strength to lift a demon from the souls of others. I lost my holy purpose, and now I exist only as a cage to this…thing.”
“Stop it now!” Thomas grabbed her shoulders, shook her so hard her arms fell to her sides. “You insult yourself and God with such words. How many times have you told me, there is no one way to serve Him. You’re here, aren’t you? You can still speak the word of God.”
“And how many times has the word of God turned to filth on my lips?” she demanded. “How many times has Father Salvatore let me speak with the congregation, only to have it take over? Turn my praise of our Lord into the worst blasphemy. What good do I bring to the congregation?”
“You show them what it is to fight,” Father Salvatore said, lifting his chin. “You show them the darkness, and they see you fight it. They see you try every day to serve Him no matter the weight of the burden on your shoulders. You show them what they can bear if they only ask for His help. You show them it is never too late.”
Laurie swallowed hard. Her eyes drifted closed again, and she bowed her head. “I am tired.”
“I know.” Thomas took her hands, tugged on her to guide her to the bench. Laurie followed as if in a dream, sinking down next to him and melting in on herself as if she could disappear. “You inspired me to join the good fight,” he said. “It’s because of you I have the courage to fight.”
“Thomas, you will be a powerful paladin someday.” Laurie forced a smile and squeezed his shoulder.
“I will if you will continue to train me,” Thomas said, putting his hand over hers. “If you would permit me a moment of selfishness, I have to admit that a part of me is glad you are still here. I would have missed you.”
Again, I had the uncomfortable feeling that I was intruding on a private moment. I studied Laurie and Thomas, trying to get a better feel for the relationship between them. I was inclined to believe Lorelei’s perception was accurate, and Thomas did have feelings for Laurie that he may not be ready, or willing, to admit to. But was Laurie aware of those feelings? And did she return them in any measure?
It took me a second to register the last sentence, caught up as I was in the dynamic between mentor and mentee. Then I frowned. “You would have missed her?” I looked at Laurie. “You planned to leave if the exorcism was successful?”
“I am a unique case,” Laurie said, forcing herself to sit up straight. She pulled free from Thomas’ grasp and cradled her hands in her lap. “I am not merely possessed, but bound. An exorcism alone is not enough anymore. Without the demon’s energy, I will not have the strength to live.”
Peasblossom hugged my neck, and I reached up to pat her between the wings. “The twins were here to kill you,” I said quietly.
“They were here to save me,” Laurie corrected. “If they had succeeded, I would have died, but only my physical body.” She lifted her chin and the sun bathed her face, chasing some of the shadows from her eyes. “Without the demon riding me, my soul would have risen to Heaven, to be with God in a state of divine immortality. I would have had the reward I worked my entire life for. The life I led before…” Her throat worked as she swallowed. “Without the twins, if I die, I will go to Hell with the demon. I w
ill lose not merely my life, but my soul.”
Peasblossom’s grip tightened around me. Andy made another notation in his notebook.
Laurie stared at me, a sudden intensity in her gaze catching me off guard. “Do you know, there were dark times when I considered even suicide an option? Times I thought, if I could kill the demon with me, then perhaps God would save me, despite my tainted soul.”
“You tried to kill yourself?” Andy asked, looking up from his notes.
A stray breeze stirred Laurie’s hair, brown waves brushing her shoulders. “Yes. Several times.” The shadows returned, casting a pall over her pale face. “But every time it foiled my plan. Any time I got close to death, the demon seized the opportunity to take over, to rob me of my noble death. Always I woke alive, and steeped in even more sin.” She rubbed at her skin. “The way that thing would celebrate when it survived one of my suicide attempts, the manner in which it chose to punish me for trying to end this wretched existence.” She choked on a sob. “I can still feel the filth of it.”
“What made the twins different from other exorcists?” Andy asked. “What made you believe they could succeed where the others failed?”
“I think I can guess,” I said. “An exorcism requires two, sometimes three priests to banish the demon. The demon will try to turn them against each other, drag up their deepest secrets, darkest fears, strongest doubts. The priests will try to come together to present a united front, but they are separate individuals no matter how close. There are seams, and that provides the demon an opportunity to tear them apart.”
“The twins had no such seam,” Laurie agreed. “They were unique. Able to come together, two halves of one soul. And their faith…” She closed her eyes, and despite the tension squeezing her shoulders, a smile plucked at the corner of her mouth. “To be in the presence of their faith was divine. When I was with them, I could remember myself as I was. When I was worthy.”
“If you wanted the separation, and the demon wanted the separation,” Andy mused. “Then who wanted to stop it? Who would want to stop it badly enough they killed two people to do it?”
Corruption Page 6