Adam turned to Seth. He liked conversations with his favorite word. He handed Seth his prized chicken wing and beamed at him. “Eat.”
“It seems you’ve passed the test, if Adam is willing to share his food with you.”
Seth smiled, a delighted smile that Morgan often saw on Adam. “I’m glad to pass his test.” There was a slight emphasis on “his.”
She looked away. It was still too painful to be so near him. She would be glad of the time when he was just another man to her, when she could look at him and not remember how it was to kiss his neck, his eyes. “I guess you’ll have to stay for lunch. Adam seems to want you, and he tends to be rather spoiled. He makes a fuss when he doesn’t get what he wants.”
Seth’s eyes grew sad. Adam sometimes used the same trick on her to get what he wanted. She always melted when he looked like that.
“I’m glad Adam wants me.”
She wanted to scream at him. Why did he play this politeness game? Why didn’t he tell her what he wanted from her and then leave her in peace?
Seth opened the picnic basket and Adam made a grab for the tin flask held by his father.
“Say what you want, Adam.”
Adam’s eyes gleamed. “Milk.”
Morgan had to laugh. “It’s just as I thought. He probably knows the English language better than I do. He’s just too lazy to say the words. I’m glad someone else forces him to talk.”
Seth’s eyes were proud. “I have a special interest in this boy.”
Morgan remained quiet through the meal, listening to Seth as he taught his son new words.
Abruptly, Seth stood up. “I have to go back to work now. I thank you for lunch.” He turned toward his horse, then looked back at Adam, who was watching him avidly. Seth dropped to his knees and put his arms out to the boy. “Give Dada a hug?” Adam ran to his arms and Seth kissed the boy’s cheek. “You take care of your mama and I’ll see you later.”
Seth tipped his hat slightly to her, and his eyes raked her body. Again, she felt naked under his gaze. Her hands flew to cover herself, but she caught them mid-way. Seth seemed to read her thoughts and laughed quietly. She and Adam watched as he walked up the hill and mounted his horse. The way Seth walked only added to her frustration. It seemed everything reminded her of days past.
She looked down at Adam, still watching Seth on his horse. He waved again. Her anger rose. Seth was trying to win Adam’s affections in order to get to her. He thought that when he had the boy in the palm of his hand, he’d get Morgan again. Well, he was wrong.
Adam was content to stay with his mother after lunch. He stretched out on the quilt beside her and she read to him from Jane Eyre. He fell asleep quickly.
When Adam awoke, Morgan returned with him to the house. Adam decided he wanted to go back outside on a horse, and Morgan had her hands full persuading him that he was going to be given a bath. Later, when her son stood before her, clean and shining, he grinned at her. He seemed to know when he had given her an especially difficult time and just when to charm her. She tickled him until his squeals of delight were heard all over the house.
Roselle had dinner waiting for him and asked to be allowed to put the child to bed. By that time, Morgan was glad to let someone else take over the care of her active son.
At dinner, Gordon was full of talk about Dave. It seemed she was bombarded all the time with praise about Seth. She longed to scream out the truth about Seth Colter.
She was glad Seth wasn’t sharing their dinner, but she kept looking across the table to where he had sat the night before. As Morgan took a bit of Roselle’s boeuf bourguignon, she wondered if Seth was eating properly. The cook for the hired hands was a little man who reminded her of Jake. He generally liked pinto beans and fried cornbread. What did she care? Seth could starve to death. It would only serve him right.
She went to bed early and fell asleep quickly. She remembered Seth as he was on his knees with his arms outstretched.
Morgan did not see Seth for three days. She told herself that she was not getting enough rest, that that was why she jumped at the sound of a door opening. Her face fell when she saw only Martin, or Roselle, or even Adam at the door, but she thought it was just because she hoped to see Gordon. Yes—that was it. She was falling in love with him. She ignored the fact that she felt just as disappointed whenever Gordon appeared.
She tried not to allow herself to think about Seth. But there were times when she caught herself staring into space, remembering the way he looked astride a horse. Then she would curse him and fervently wish he had never returned to interrupt her life.
At night she slept poorly, often reading far into the night. The strain was beginning to tell on her.
Early one morning, she was baking madeleines for Gordon and Adam. She had slept very little the night before, and there were bluish shadows under her eyes. It was hot in the kitchen with both ovens going, and Morgan’s hair escaped from the soft arrangement into damp curls on her neck and forehead.
“Why don’t you go outside for a while? Take your horse and go to the stream.”
“I really can’t, Roselle. There’s too much to do, and I need to watch Adam.”
“Adam is no problem. I’ve had five children of my own. I can certainly handle one little boy. Now you go outside. You don’t look so good.”
“A ride would feel good. I’ll go and change.”
Roselle laughed and put her hands on Morgan’s shoulders, pushing her toward the door. “You don’t need a fancy riding habit. Go get on your horse and ride. This is New Mexico, not Kentucky. Women here do not own even two dresses, much less riding habits.”
Morgan smiled in gratitude. “You’re right. Thank you.”
Donaciano was asleep in a stall when she got to the barn. Quietly, so as not to disturb him, she led her mare outside, taking a bridle from the wall. She stood on top of a barrel to mount the horse. She looked around carefully to make sure no one saw her and then tucked her skirt up into the waistband. It was good to be free, unhindered by long skirts. On impulse, she removed the pins from her hair and let it fall free.
She guided her horse to the place by the river. She had not been there since Seth had brought Adam to her, four days before. She wanted to return. She wouldn’t let Seth keep her from doing what she wanted.
She slid from her horse, and quickly removed her shoes and stockings. She splashed icy water on her legs and thighs, face and arms, and unfastened her blouse to the top of her breasts. She had a sudden impulse to remove all her clothes and stretch out in the water. Instead, she leaned back on the bank, her hands clasped behind her head.
Roselle had been right to make her get out of the house. This was her favorite spot. She smiled up at the sunlight filtering through the cottonwoods.
“You really should tie your horse.”
Morgan jumped to her feet. A few feet away, Seth was tying her mare’s reins to a branch.
“If something scared her and she ran, you’d have a long walk back to the house.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I come here often in the mornings. I liked it when I was here before, so now I come whenever I have the chance.” His eyes went to her unbuttoned blouse. “I find the scenery especially beautiful.”
She felt the blood rush to her face. “What do you want here? What do you want from me?” The anger she had been holding back for so long threatened to erupt.
Seth’s voice was quiet. “I want nothing from you that you are not prepared to give.”
“Give? I gave you everything I had and you—”
Seth’s eyes were sad. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” With a few quick strides, he was gone.
Morgan sat down heavily. Somehow, she felt defeated. Why couldn’t he rage at her, or drag her into his arms? Anything but this constant politeness, this self-effacing manner of his. She angrily wiped away her tears. What was wrong with her? She had planned to ignore him, but she was the one
who was being ignored. She mounted her horse and rode around, directionless, for an hour before she returned to the house.
She heard Gordon in his study. He sounded angry. Morgan had never known Gordon to be angry. “Damnation! What do you mean, it’s ‘something you always meant to do’? Why the hell didn’t you tell me that when you signed on?”
Morgan’s hand flew to her mouth. “Seth,” she whispered aloud. Then she straightened, trying to compose herself. Good, she thought. He’s leaving. I’m glad. Now Adam and I can continue our lives without interruptions. She started up the stairs, but turned quickly when the study door opened.
Gordon was frowning at Boyd. The tall foreman was putting a roll of bills into his shirt pocket. “And I don’t want to see any of you again,” Gordon shouted at Boyd’s retreating back.
“Gordon, what’s wrong?”
“Gold fever! My foreman and three of my best men are leaving in the morning. They wanted this month’s wages.” He threw up his hands. “I sometimes wonder if it’s worth it. You can never get any help.”
Morgan put her hand on his arm. “It’s not the end of the world. You’ll find someone else.”
“Sure I will, but then this damned gold fever will hit them and they will leave. Wait!”
“What is it?”
“I have an idea. I’ll be back in time for dinner.”
He ran from the house.
Morgan was just getting Adam ready for bed when Gordon burst in. “I just hired Dave as my foreman.”
“Dave?”
“You haven’t forgotten Dave already, have you?”
“No, of course not. I just wonder if it’s wise to hire someone you hardly know. After all, he’s been here less than a week.”
“Well, I’ve watched him and he works as hard as any two men. And Adam likes him, don’t you, boy?” The child went to Gordon, and Gordon carried him to his bed and covered him lightly. He blew out the light and he and Morgan left the room.
“I’ve invited Dave to supper tonight. We have a lot of things to discuss. That is—if you don’t mind?”
“Why should I mind what Mr. Blake does or does not do? He is of no concern to me.”
Gordon paused at the top of the staircase and looked at Morgan. She was especially beautiful in the half-light in the hall. He kissed her cheek and then his arms went around her. Lightly, his lips touched hers.
Morgan wanted to feel the blood pounding in her head as it had when Seth kissed her, but there was no such feeling. Gordon broke from her abruptly.
“Dave, I didn’t hear you come in.”
Morgan turned to see Seth at the foot of the stairs, his brow creased. She patted her hair and adjusted her dress.
“Good evening, Mrs. Colter. I hope you are feeling well.”
“Very well, Mr. Blake.” She turned loving eyes up to Gordon. “Very well indeed.”
Gordon led her down the stairs. He and Seth began to talk of the ranch. Martin held Morgan’s chair for her. She tried to listen to the conversation, but she knew little about the work done on the ranch. She was acutely aware of Seth’s presence, however, and kept her eyes averted.
She didn’t see Seth’s eyes on her, or note the way Gordon broke off talking to follow the larger man’s glance. Morgan sat quietly, pushing her flan about in the bowl. She had eaten very little.
“Morgan?”
Gordon’s voice caused her to start. She looked up into Seth’s smiling eyes. “I’m afraid we’re being rude. Why don’t we have coffee in the courtyard?”
“What about your business?”
“It can wait. Dave and I will have plenty of time to discuss it later. Right now I’d rather spend my time with a beautiful woman. Don’t you agree, Dave?”
“I’m afraid I agree more than I’d like to admit.”
“Martin,” Gordon turned to the butler, “we’d like coffee in the courtyard.”
“May I, Mrs. Colter?”
Morgan looked warily at Seth’s proffered arm. She chided herself for being so silly.
“Of course.” His arm was larger, harder than she remembered. His body was so incredibly warm. Images of the times she had been cold and had snuggled against him for warmth danced in her mind. She took slow, even breaths, trying to calm her frantically beating heart.
“You two go ahead. I want to get a couple of cigars.”
The courtyard was still and quiet, with only a cricket’s sounds. She removed her hand from his arm.
“Are you happy here, Morgan?” His voice was gentle. It was the first time he’d called her that.
“Yes, I am.” She hesitated. There was no anger now. “Why are you here, Seth? Why couldn’t you leave me alone?”
The moonlight played on Seth’s hair, turning it silver. They held one another’s gaze. Neither of them heard Gordon’s footsteps.
“I want you. It’s that simple. I decided I couldn’t live without you, no matter what I thought you had done.”
“What I had done! I have done nothing wrong.”
“I know that—now. I met your friend Jessy and she told me everything. I had the whole story wrong.”
Morgan tried to control the anger she felt surging through her. “Let me see if I understand you correctly. As soon as you discovered that I wasn’t the … what you thought I was, you decided you’d take me back?”
“No, Morgan. That’s not what I said. I decided a long time before I met Jessy that I wanted you and needed you, even if I had to buy you.”
“Buy me! Why, you insufferable…” She stopped as Gordon noisily entered the courtyard.
“It took me longer than I thought it would.” He quickly took in Morgan’s stormy face and Seth’s helplessness and bewilderment.
“I’m rather tired tonight.” Her voice was curt. “Goodnight, Gordon. Goodnight.” She did not look at Seth, but merely inclined her head in his direction.
The two men watched her leave. “Well, Dave, shall we go to my study and get down to business?”
Morgan tore her dress from her body and collapsed on the bed, nude. “Of all the despicable, insufferable—” She was at a loss for words. “He’ll take me back! After all I’ve been through. After all the pain he’s caused me, he decides he’ll come back and forget everything. How generous.”
This has all happened because I tried to save his life! I should have laughed at Joaquín and told him to go ahead. How could I ever have loved such a man?
She grabbed a vase from the table by the bed and hurled it at the bedroom door. It made a loud crash, mollifying her just a bit. “Damn all men except my son! My son, and no one else’s!”
Below, in the study, both Seth and Gordon looked toward the ceiling as they heard the crash. Neither made any comment.
It was after midnight when they concluded their business. As Gordon walked past Morgan’s room, he saw there was no light coming under the door. Everything was quiet. He went to his own room and removed his coat, vest, and cravat. He loosened his shirt and lit a cigar.
Gordon needed to think. He knew that Seth Colter and Dave Blake were the same person. It should have been a bigger surprise than it was. He realized in retrospect that everything had pointed to this: the way Morgan had reacted to “Dave” on the night of the party; her nervousness since then; and the way she had started flirting with him—but only when Seth was near.
Right now she fought Seth, but Gordon knew it would be only a matter of time before she admitted her passion for him.
What about his own love for Morgan? There were still times when just the sight of her made the blood in his temples throb. But that was beginning to be less painful. In fact, the last time he’d been in Albuquerque, he had been interested in some of the young women he’d seen there. Could he learn to love elsewhere? Could he get over his love for Morgan? Gordon thought he could.
Right now, he needed to do something to help his little cousin. Seth had done a terrible thing to her, not believing in her. But it was not really unforgivable.
; What they needed now was to be together more, to be around one another constantly. Then their bodies would overrule their stubborn minds.
He could be the instrument for their getting together again. Tomorrow, he would begin.
As he fell asleep, he sighed and wished he had been reared in the simpler society of his mother’s people. If Seth wanted Morgan, he’d just present her father with more horses than anyone else did. There wouldn’t be any discussion about dishonesty, or forgiving—just simple bartering. Tomorrow he would move Seth into the house. There was a connecting door between her bedroom and the one next to it. He imagined it would be easy to fix the lock.
Seth was also just falling asleep. He had spent an hour cursing himself for his clumsiness. Everything he’d said to her had come out wrong. From now on, he thought, I won’t let her bait me. I won’t try to explain my reasons for coming back. I’ll talk only about the present.
He’d tell her that he loved her, that he wanted her, over and over again. But there would be no more explanations. His resolutions made, Seth slept.
Chapter Twenty-One
BREAKFAST had begun before Morgan entered the room.
“I’d like to take Adam with me today, if you don’t mind,” said Gordon. “Adam has taken such a liking to Dave. It’s strange how alike they are. When Adam first saw Dave, he went right to him. You’d expect a boy to react that way only to his own father. And the way Dave protects the boy! I sometimes think he’d lay down his life for Adam.”
“All right! I’ve heard enough about the great Dave Blake. Could we please talk about something else for a change?”
“Why, of course.” Morgan didn’t see Gordon’s suppressed smile. “Remember your father’s lawyer, the one you wrote to, in Albuquerque?”
“Yes.”
“Well, Mr. Bradley and I have been corresponding lately, and I checked with him about a divorce.”
Morgan’s head came up abruptly. “Divorce?”
“Yes. You remember we discussed it. Mr. Bradley says you’ll need to find your husband before the action can be carried out.”
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