My eyes started to water. How had these people come into my life and not thought twice about helping me? Neither of them knew exactly what I had lived in, but I had a suspicion that Sal had told Jan his theories. They were as thick as thieves, both in and out of the diner.
“Okay,” I finally managed to whisper, sniffling back the tears that threatened to break free. I’d been an emotional wreck for what felt like weeks, any little thing setting me off, and I had no doubt it all started with finding out who Brody really was.
I pulled a package of bacon out of the refrigerator, along with some eggs, and warmed a pan on the stove. I didn’t have much to provide in the way of breakfast, but you could never go wrong with bacon and eggs.
Jan whistled some random nursery rhyme tune as I whisked the eggs. She always seemed to be singing or whistling something around the diner, and I wondered if she was even aware she was doing it.
Shaking my head, I reached for the package of bacon and then opened it. My mouth watered at the thought of crispy bacon, and I couldn’t wait for it to explode on my taste buds and send my mouth into food heaven.
The meat sizzled and popped as soon as I placed it in the pan, but instead of watching it cook and waiting without patience, I gagged at the smell. My rumbling stomach turned, and I had to dart into the bathroom, making it to my knees in front of the toilet just in time to throw up.
Jan squeaked, covering her own mouth and rushing out of the bathroom. I already knew she wasn’t good with vomit because she always made anyone else but her clean it in the bathrooms at the diner, but I didn’t even have it in me to apologize.
As soon as I was finished, I flushed it all away, closed the seat, and laid my head on the lid. I was exhausted. The kind of exhausted that came on so suddenly you weren’t sure you’d be able to move a muscle even if you put every ounce of energy into it.
“Hon?” There were two raps at the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”
“I…” I blew out a breath and lifted my head. “Yeah. I’m good now.” And I was. The roiling in my stomach had gone, and that feeling of food being stuck at the top of my stomach disappeared.
Jan opened the door, her brows low on her forehead and her lips twisted up on one side. “That’s not the first time you’ve been sick in the last couple of weeks.”
“I know.” I winced and placed my palms flat on the floor. I didn’t want to remember throwing up in the bathroom at work and what had caused it. “I’m fine, probably just the paint fumes.” I pushed up off the floor and leaned on the toilet, my head spinning in the process. “I’ll be okay in a few.”
Jan stared at me, her gaze tracking over my face and down my body then back again. “Lola?”
“Did you take the bacon off the stove?” I asked, turning to face the sink and running the cold water. I cupped my hands under the tap and dipped down, sighing when it hit my face.
“I did, but...Lola?”
I pulled the towel off the rack and wiped my face. “Hmmm?”
“Are you…” She trailed off, not finishing her sentence.
I frowned as I turned the tap off and folded the towel up. “Am I what?” I asked, turning to face her fully.
“There’s no chance you’re pregnant, right? Because you’ve been really tired, your feet are hurting, and you’re throwing up because of the smell of bacon.” She leaned against the doorframe.
I barked out a laugh and shook my head. “No. No, I…” My breath stalled in my chest. No, I couldn’t be. I was feeling out of sorts because my life had been turned upside down. Brody, the man who I thought would be it for me, had turned out to be a liar and cheat. I’d only just managed to get away from Hut without him finding out. It was all the changes. It had to be.
My hand fluttered over my lower stomach, and I blinked. We hadn’t used anything, and neither of us had mentioned it. When you’re in the throes of passion and what you thought was love, it didn’t occur to you to be safe. How had I been so stupid?
“I don’t know,” I finally replied on a burst of breath. I looked at Jan, seeing her small smile, but it didn’t make me feel any better. “I don’t know,” I repeated. I couldn’t remember when my last period was. All of the days and weeks seemed to have merged together. It had been two months since Brody and I had slept together, right?
Jan stepped forward and grasped my arm. “Come and sit down and I’ll go and get a test from the grocery store a block over.” I followed her, my legs feeling like they weighed a ton. “Sit down.” I did as I was told and stared at the wall I’d just painted as my ass hit the sofa cushions. “I’ll be back.”
I couldn’t formulate a reply as the door closed behind her, all I could do was hold my stomach and wonder. Wonder what would happen if I was. Wonder what the next step would be. Wonder where I’d end up. I’d managed to avoid Brody since he came back to work in Hut’s crew, but I wouldn’t be able to avoid him forever if I was pregnant.
Pregnant.
My god. This wasn’t in the plan. This wasn’t how things were meant to go. But then, weren’t all the best things that happened totally unexpected?
The door swung open and clicked closed, and I finally turned. Jan held up a bag, a grin on her face. “I hope you need to pee.”
* * *
BRODY
The street was silent when I pulled up outside Hut’s house. There was no music ringing out from any of the houses, no people walking on the sidewalks, and not a single car driving down the road. It was quiet. Too quiet. They always said the calm came before the storm, and I couldn’t help wonder if there was one on the horizon.
I turned the engine off, the car shuddering to a complete stop, and glanced around. Ryan and Kyle were around here somewhere watching the house while I’d caught a few hours’ sleep at my apartment, but it had been interrupted by Hut’s phone call not long ago.
It wasn’t unusual for Hut to call me at odd hours throughout the night and day, but the frantic tone he had when he told me I needed to “get my ass to the house right now or else” was out of character.
My immediate thought had been that he found out who I was, but I disregarded that right away. If he knew I was undercover, he wouldn’t wait for me to go to him. He’d come and find me without a doubt.
I’d relayed all this to Jord, who said he’d tell Ryan and Kyle, but I needed to figure out where they were just in case something went down that I couldn’t come back from. There was no use in me sitting outside, wondering what was about to go down.
I pulled in a deep breath and got out of the car, my feet carrying me toward the front door of Hut’s house. The screen door was wide open, along with the main door, and then I heard crashing, things being thrown at walls.
“What the…” My voice trailed off as I took in the living room. The sofas were turned over, the TV smashed to pieces, a leg missing off the small table that sat next to one of the sofas. And then there was Hut, standing in the middle of the wrecked room, his chest moving rapidly as he pulled in breaths.
Ford and Quinn lingered by the kitchen door, and I glanced over at them, silently asking what was going on.
“She’s gone,” Hut announced. “Fuckin' gone!” He bent down, picked up the table, and flung it at the wall. I managed to jump out of the way just in time for it to smash right where I’d been standing and fracture into smithereens.
“Who’s gone?” I asked, my stomach dipping. There was only one she he could be talking about, but I had to be sure.
“Lola,” Ford told me, his face carefully blank of any expression.
I held my hands up in the air and stepped inside, shutting the door after me. The neighborhood didn’t need to know what was going on in this house. I didn’t need people to know what was going on.
“Back up a second.” I moved toward Hut and widened my eyes. “Sit and take a breath. Just calm down.”
“Calm down?” he screamed in my face, his spittle flying everywhere. “How the fuck can I calm down when she’s been gone for three
days?”
“Three days?” My pulse raced, and I had to keep my feet planted to the floor so I didn’t stumble back. I hadn’t been at the house much, and even when I had, I hadn’t seen Lola apart from that first morning. I had just thought she was achieving what she’d set out to do: not see my face. But if she was gone…
“Did someone take her?” It was my first thought. Hut had enemies upon enemies, and people who wanted to take his territory. Maybe one of them had taken her in exchange for—
“No.” Hut laughed, but it was a sinister sound that had goose bumps breaking out along my arms. “She took her shit and disappeared.”
Wow. She’d said that she wanted out of this house, and I had to admit, I was damn proud of her. But…
She was gone.
My hand drifted to my chest, and my palm rubbed against the pain emanating there. She may have left this house and Hut, but in a way, she’d escaped from me too. She hadn’t told me she was leaving, which meant she didn’t want me to know.
“Have you tried calling her?” I was stalling, trying to get all my thoughts in order. She’d left without telling me, but then, she didn’t trust me anymore, did she? I’d decimated that within a matter of seconds when I’d walked into Sal’s diner that day.
I’d told myself once Hut was taken care of, I’d be able to fix things with her. Maybe not resolve them fully, or have any kind of relationship with her, but I could make peace if only to see her face once more.
“Do I look like a fuckin' dumbass?” Hut sneered, stepping closer to me.
I raised a brow, wishing I could fling my fist at his temple and knock him the hell out. I had to keep my cool, though, so I shook my head and said, “Do you know where she went?”
“If I knew where she went, then I wouldn’t be standing here sayin' she’s missing, would I?”
I didn’t reply, not having the energy to talk to him. I knew what he was going to say next. He’d want us to find her, and I’d be able to do it without a doubt. All I’d need to do was make a phone call to Jord and he’d do his magic, producing her address. Failing that, I’d place bets that Sal knew where she was.
“Spread out. We need to find her.”
“Why?” Ford asked, and right then, I couldn’t help but be grateful for his question.
“Because”—Hut stepped toward Ford—“apart from the fact that she’s my sister, she knows way too fuckin' much about what I do. She’s a danger to my business.”
“Wait.” Quinn held his hand up, a frown on his face as he stood to his full height. “Are you saying you want us to find her and make sure she’s safe? Or find her and bring her back by any means necessary?”
Hut’s nostrils flared. “Any means fuckin' necessary. If she fights, knock her the hell out. God knows she could use a lesson or two on how not to betray me.”
My hands clenched at my sides, my breaths becoming more rapid the longer he talked. He didn’t want us to find her and make sure she was okay. He wanted us to get rid of her before she could talk. There was a line that I understood had to be crossed sometimes, but this was not one of those times. He didn’t need to do what he was telling us. He wanted to do it.
“Maybe—” Ford cut himself off and shook his head. His eyes darkened, his body so taut I thought he’d snap any moment. He didn’t like this one bit, and he wasn’t the only one.
I couldn’t get a read on Quinn, but he was eyeing Hut warily like he was a bomb about to explode any minute.
“Maybe what?” Hut spat.
“Nothing.” Ford stepped forward. “We’ll go and look for her.” He tilted his head at me, and then Quinn. “Let’s get started.”
Lola was better off away from Hut, as far away as she could get, and they both knew that. I opened my mouth to refuse, but Ford’s subtle shake of his head had me closing my mouth and staying silent.
“I’ll be here in case she comes back,” Hut said and barged past Quinn, heading into the kitchen. I couldn’t stop looking at him as he snorted a line of cocaine off the kitchen table, not caring that there was an open block right there for the taking. He wasn’t aware of anything else going on around him, and this would have been the perfect opportunity to raid the house, but one block wouldn’t serve as well as a whole load of them.
“Come on,” Ford said, and I followed after him outside.
He halted on the sidewalk, Quinn next to him, and I planted my hands on my hips, making up the circle. “We should leave her,” Quinn said first, a frown on his face. “She’s better off without him.”
My head reeled back at his words. I knew it was how I felt, but to have one of the other crew members say it too? I didn’t know what to think.
“Agreed.” Ford nodded. “We leave her wherever she is, let her be, and say we looked for her. God knows what he’d do if he actually found her.”
“So what’s the plan?” I asked, already knowing I’d do anything to keep Lola safe, even if it was from myself.
“We pretend to look for the next”—he looked down at his cell—“four hours, come back and say we found nothing.” Ford glanced up at me. “You down for that?”
“Yeah, I’m down.” I didn’t say another word as I walked over to my car, begging my legs not to sprint in the way they wanted to. They may not want to find her, but I did. I had to.
Chapter Six
LOLA
Pregnant.
I was pregnant.
I’d heard of people losing blocks of time where they went into their heads to process things, but I’d never quite believed them until now.
Nothing was sinking in. Nothing but that. The white stick haunted me every time I walked into the bathroom. It called to me every time I felt like I was going to throw up. But I denied it, even to myself. If I pretended like I hadn’t taken the test yesterday, then it hadn’t really happened. I was living in a fantasy world, but it was the only way I could survive right now.
“Lola?” a deep voice shouted through my apartment door, followed by four knocks in quick succession.
My eyes widened, and my hand immediately fluttered over my stomach. It was him. Brody.
“I know you’re in there.” He banged on the door again.
I flung myself out of bed, running into my living room and staring at the door like it would fly off its hinges any moment. I couldn’t let him in. I couldn’t see him, not right now. It was bad enough that he’d lied to me, but things had changed.
“Please, darlin', let me in. It’s important.” There was a pause and then his voice lowered. “Hut knows you’re gone, he’s trying to look for you. I just…I just need to know you’re safe.”
I didn’t know how I’d taken the few steps to the front door, but I’d drifted there without even knowing it. I willed my hand not to flick the lock and open the door, but it did it anyway. “Brody.” My voice was a mere whisper, but the look in his eyes told me he’d heard me loud and clear.
“Can I come in?”
I didn’t know what to say or what to do, so I stepped back to let him inside. His face was covered in a couple of days’ stubble, and the bags under his eyes told a story of little sleep. But it was the way his dark-brown eyes flashed over my whole body that had me shuddering.
He closed the door, the click loud in the otherwise silent room. “I needed to see you were okay.”
His words set something off inside me, and I dived at him, flinging my arms around his neck and pushing my face into his shoulder. He gripped me so hard I was sure he’d never let me go. I shouldn’t have touched him.
I shouldn’t have let him inside. But I couldn’t stop myself. My brain was a jumble of warring thoughts, but the one clearer than all the rest was that I needed him right now. I needed his arms around me, the security I felt when he was next to me.
My hands drifted to his arms, and I pulled back, my chest hitting his on each breath. His dark eyes met mine, and they promised me things I shouldn’t have wanted from him. They promised to keep me safe. But it was the way they
flicked down to my lips that had my mind made up. I wanted what I wanted, and for once in my life, I was going to take it, consequences be damned.
I dived for his lips.
Nothing else mattered when we were touching, and that was part of the problem. We hadn’t cared about anyone else or the hurt we could cause, and right then, I couldn’t bring myself to care either. When Brody was around, I felt whole, like a full circle with its ends meeting.
Brody’s body shuddered as I ran my tongue over his lips and he pulled away, holding me at arm’s length.
“What—”
“I don’t want this.” The dark brown in his eyes turned almost black as he stared at me, not one flicker of any emotions showcased there. He’d shut me out, blocked me from seeing any truth he’d shown me only a few minutes ago. “I don’t want you.”
My pulse thrummed harder than it ever had before, and my shoulders sagged. Was it possible to break apart piece by piece until I completely evaporated? Because that was what was happening.
“You don’t...” My voice cracked, and I willed it to sound strong. “You don’t want me?” Tears came to the surface of my eyes, and no matter how much I forbid them to come forward, they wouldn’t listen to me. His gaze followed a lone teardrop as it tracked down my cheek, but I didn’t move it. I let it trail all the way down to my chin where it unceremoniously dropped onto my chest.
“No,” his rough voice answered. He let me go and backed away another step, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans, his posture screaming like this was an everyday conversation.
But it wasn’t.
He was shattering everything we’d had over the last couple of months with only a few syllables. How could your world change so much in the space of such little time and few words? I’d been a fool to think he came here for me. He'd come here for himself. He probably wanted to make sure I wouldn’t talk, that I wouldn’t tell anyone exactly who he was.
Down Fall: Fallen Duet: Book Two Page 5