Until the door opened and Brody stepped inside.
He was donned in his dress pants and a shirt, his badge on his belt and gun attached to the other side. Everyone could see he was an officer of the law, as well as the three guys who followed him in.
My heart beat faster, my pulse thrumming like a drum at a carnival. They’d come to take me away. I just knew it. Yesterday had just been too good to be true. Brody couldn’t just walk me out of his office, and that would be it. I’d killed someone, and now I was going to have to pay the price.
“Why do you look like you’re about to puke everywhere, Lola-Girl?” Sal asked from the pass. If I turned around and tried to see my reflection in the shiny surface under the warming lights, I’d probably be able to see how pale I felt, but as it stood, all I could do was stare at the four guys as they chose a booth toward the back and away from a window.
“I…” I cleared my throat and shook my head. I could have told Sal what happened yesterday, but I was doing my best to distract myself, and distracting didn’t entail spilling your guts to your boss who had become a surrogate father in the time you’d known him. “I’m good,” I finally said.
I plucked my notebook from the pocket in the front of my dress, pushed my shoulders back, and headed to their table. I’d act as normal as I could, and maybe they’d realize I was just an ordinary girl who had been in an impossible situation.
“Hi.” I pushed some hair behind my ear that had fallen out of my ponytail. “What can I get you?”
They all reeled off their orders, not giving me much attention. Not even Brody looked up at me. And the longer I stood there, the more my hopes dashed. I hadn’t expected him to get on his knees and tell me he’d be with me forever because I was pregnant, but I hadn’t expected the silent treatment I was getting right then.
I moved away from the table and went back to the counter, handing Sal the ticket and trying to forget they were sitting so close by. I tried not to track their movements as Brody got up and walked to the bathroom or notice the fact that he’d stuck his head into the kitchen.
I certainly didn’t try to hear what he was saying to Sal, not that the sizzle of the fryer in there and the chatter out here could be heard over. I filled random people’s cups with freshly brewed coffee, wiped the knives and forks over even though I’d already done that, and I was just debating whether to check if the ketchup bottles needed filling up when Sal called, “Order up.”
My sweaty palms would be the death of me, so I wiped them on my dress and grabbed two of the six plates. I went back and forth again, and on the last trip, Sal said, “You can take your break now, Lola-Girl.”
I didn’t argue because, if I was honest, I could use some fresh air and a little time to clear my head. I had no idea what was happening around me. I was floating on a cloud that could dissipate at any second.
I gripped the edges of the two plates and walked back over to Brody’s table, placing the one plate in front of him and then frowning down at the omelet and slice of toast. “Erm...whose is the omelet?” I asked.
Brody moved over and patted the seat next to him. “It’s yours. Come and sit.”
“Oh no, I—”
“Sal has given you your break, and I ordered your food. Come and sit.” He paused, his gaze flitting over the guys and finally settling back on me. “We need to talk.”
“We do?” I asked, my voice betraying me. I was an emotional wreck.
“Yeah.” He took the plate from my hands and placed it next to his. “Sit.”
I did as I was told, completely aware I’d adhered to his command, but my rumbling stomach didn’t care one bit. All it wanted was more food.
The guy with the small Afro covered his breakfast with ketchup, and I screwed my nose up at the smell. Tomatoes were a real problem for me at the moment, anything that contained it, which meant pizza was firmly out, as well as my favorite pasta dishes.
“What?” he asked.
“You gonna have any breakfast with that ketchup?”
He looked down at his plate, his lips quirking, and then back up at me. “Nah. I love tomatoes.”
I fake gagged and cut a piece of my omelet. “That’s just...disgusting.”
He pointed at my omelet. “Because that looks appetizing.”
“It’s the only thing I can keep down before noon.” I shrugged and placed some egg into my mouth. “It does the job.” The atmosphere changed at my words, and all four of them stared at me with wide eyes. “What?”
Brody shook his head and cleared his throat. “I never even thought about morning sickness.” He blinked, his hand clenched on the table. “Do you have it now?”
“I’m good right now.” I smiled at him. “But I’d bet you ten dollars that this doesn’t stay in my body for longer than an hour.”
“Ew,” the other guy who had been in the interview room with me said. “Too much info, Lola.”
I raised a brow. “So you know my name, but I have no idea who any of you are.”
“Jord,” the guy with the Afro said. Followed by “Kyle” from the guy who was in the interview with me, and then “Ryan” from the person sitting on the other side of Brody.
I nodded. “Nice to meet you all. Sorry about yesterday.” I cringed at my words and groaned. “Shit.” My fork clattered against the plate, and my shoulders sagged. Hut’s body flashed in my mind, and I jerked. My stomach roiled, and I wasn’t sure whether that couple of bites of omelet would stay down for five minutes, never mind an hour.
“Lola,” Brody’s deep voice called. His hand landed on my knee, and my head shot up. “Take a breath.” His calming voice always had the desired effects. “We came to tell you that you have nothing to worry about.”
“You...did?” I croaked out, my hand itching to move over the top of his.
“Yeah.” He smiled and winked. “And to get some breakfast, of course.”
“Of course,” I replied. “But what happened—”
“It’s best you don’t know,” Jord said, stuffing his face with more ketchup. “Just know you have nothing to worry about.” He paused and met my stare. “Apart from getting swollen feet and morning sickness.”
“Jord,” Brody groaned.
“What? I’m just telling her what’s gonna happen. And, I mean, have you seen the size of you? You remember how big Cade was when he came out.”
My heart galloped in my chest. I’d never even given thought about the actual birth. All I’d been focusing on was what was right in front of me, not what was going to happen in six months.
“You’re scaring her,” Kyle said, pointing his fork at me. “She looks like she’s about to—”
My stomach churned again, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold it in this time. I darted out of the booth and across the diner, heading straight for the bathroom. I didn’t even manage to get down on my knees before the omelet came back up, followed by the burn of orange juice I’d drunk this morning when I woke up.
“Lola?” Normally it was Jan who followed me into the bathroom to make sure I was okay, but Brody’s deep voice rang out, and the door clicked closed. I hadn’t had time to close the stall door behind me, so when I flushed the toilet and spun around, he was standing there with a frown on his face.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” I wiped my hand across my head. “Told you it wouldn’t stay down.” I moved past him and splashed my face with water.
“That can’t be healthy.”
I shrugged and walked out of the bathroom, heading for the staff room and the mouthwash I kept in my locker—I’d learned that trick from Jan.
“It’s meant to let up at the three-month mark,” I said, knowing Brody was following me. “But here I am at fourteen weeks, still being sick.” I opened my locker and retrieved my mouthwash. “Or maybe it’s because I can’t stop seeing my dead brother on the ground after I stabbed him.” A laugh bubbled up in my throat, one that was so awkward and crazy, but I managed to push it down. I couldn’t b
elieve I’d said those words aloud, but again, distraction was what I needed, so I swirled some mouthwash and spat it out in the sink.
“We meant what we said out there, Lola,” Brody said, moving closer to me. “We’ve handled it. You don’t need to worry about—”
“Yeah, I heard you. But that doesn’t stop the images in my head and the regret swirling through me.” I leaned against the sink. “I killed someone, Brody. I actually killed someone.”
His hands grasped my hips, and he pulled me flush against his body. “You said it yourself, darlin'. You didn’t have a choice.”
“I know,” I whispered, my hands fluttering to his forearms. “But, I—”
“No buts.” He pressed his forehead to mine and lowered his voice. “Wipe the slate clean. Of everything. Don’t forget, but forgive. Forgive yourself and everyone around you, and start fresh.” He paused and drew in a breath, his hands moving up past my waist and to my neck. “Start fresh with me.”
I stared into his eyes. “With you?”
“Yeah, darlin'. You and me. What do you say?”
I didn’t answer him with my words. Instead, I pressed my lips to his and relished in the second first kiss we had.
* * *
LOLA
A lot could change in the space of a few hours, and even more in a couple of weeks.
If I really thought about where my life would have ended up, it wouldn’t have been here. If I were honest with myself, I thought I’d still be stuck in that house with Hut.
But Hut was gone.
I didn’t think it was right I attended his funeral, but I did anyway. Brody had said it would be the last piece of closure I’d need, and he was right. I let go of everything that had happened with him. I let go of every bruise he marred my body with, and every cut that scarred my flesh. I forgot about the names he would call me, and how isolated he made me feel toward the end.
I let it all go because holding on to it would only destroy me.
His body was cremated, his ashes scattered across the lake he used to love as a kid, and life was moving on. I could have easily let what happened consume me. I could have thought about that night over and over again and tried to think of different outcomes. But the reality was, nothing could have been different. He’d been destroying himself for years before that, and nothing anyone did would have stopped him.
Quinn had been at the funeral, but he hadn’t spoken to me, not when I was surrounded by Brody and the three guys. I hadn’t seen Ford there, but Brody said he was somewhere safe, bettering his life, and I was glad because if there was one person who deserved it, it was him.
I wasn’t sure if my dad and Crystal would show up, but I wasn’t surprised when they didn’t. They hadn’t been seen since the day of the cookout when Crystal had held a knife to my throat. I didn’t want to think about that too much, because if I did, I’d have to be honest with the fact that Hut had probably found them and made them pay like he’d promised he would.
Now I was exhausted and ready for my bed, but considering it was only 7 p.m. I didn’t think it was right to go to bed this early, so I lay down on the sofa, telling myself I’d just rest for a little while. And that was when I felt it. A slight fluttering in my stomach, but there was no way to mistake it for nerves. I locked my muscles, and stayed very still, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes to see if it would happen again.
I counted to two hundred, and just when I was sure I’d imagined it, I felt it a second time. I spread my fingers over my stomach, a gasp escaping my parted lips as I reached for my cell with my other hand.
“Lola?” his deep voice asked.
“Brody.” My voice was barely a whisper.
“What’s wrong?”
I smiled, imagining him standing up and already collecting his things to come to me. And I wanted that, more than anything, but not for the reason he was probably thinking. “I”—I felt it again, just a small flutter—“I felt the baby.”
“You…” His voice trailed off, silence ringing out in its wake. “I’m coming over.” The line went dead, and I grinned wider than I ever had before.
It was all becoming so real, my belly just starting to protrude a little bit, feeling the tiny flutters, and the sickness starting to ebb away. My calendar told me I was sixteen weeks along, and the internet informed me the second trimester was the one where you started to feel more like yourself and enjoyed being pregnant.
I didn’t move off the sofa for twenty minutes, only turning my head when the door opened, and Brody walked inside. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask where he’d gotten a key, but I rolled my eyes at myself. Of course he’d gotten a key. He was Brody, a DEA agent. There wasn’t anything he couldn’t get.
The door slammed shut behind him, and he darted over to me, getting down onto his knees beside me and placing his large hand over mine. “You won’t be able to feel it,” I told him, my eyes burning at the sight of his glazing eyes. “It’s only a small flutter.”
“I don’t care,” he choked out, pushing his face closer to mine. “I’m not missing this moment.” He rested his forehead against mine.
“It just happened again,” I said, my smile turning shaky. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Can’t believe what, darlin'?” he asked, pulling away slightly. I moved my hand from under his, loving the way his rough palm felt against my stomach, and placed my hand on the side of his face. His scruff itched across my fingertips.
“This. That you’re here. That I can feel our baby. That I’m still here.” I didn’t want to say it out loud. I didn’t want to admit I wasn’t sure I was going to make it, not after everything that had happened, but I was still here. I was lying on this sofa with the man I loved more than anything at my side.
“Believe it,” he growled out. “Because I’m not going anywhere.” He paused and ran his knuckles over my cheek. “Ever.”
“I love you,” I whispered, needing him to hear the words.
“Darlin'”—he pushed his face closer, his breath hitting my lips—“I love you, too.”
He pressed his lips against mine in a soft, gentle caress, and that was my undoing. I could handle hard, caveman Brody like a pro, but gentle Brody? He snapped something inside my chest and cracked it wide open.
His tongue swiped along the seam of my lips, and I opened up for him, letting him in and relishing every second of it. His hand trailed over my stomach and up to my breasts, not stopping in any one place as he felt all of me. It had been so long since we’d been like this, only this time, there weren’t any lies between us. Everything was out in the open, and I felt closer to him than I ever had.
It hadn’t been easy to get to this point. God, it had been hard. And I was honest with myself when I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. But maybe it was because of the things I’d been through. Maybe I was always expecting the worst because that was how it had always been?
It was time to embrace the good, so I lifted into a sitting position, wrapped my arms around his neck, and whispered, “Take me to my bedroom.”
“I didn’t come here to—”
I shook my head. “I know you didn’t.” I stared into his dark-brown eyes, seeing nothing but admiration in them. “But I want it. I want you.”
“Fuck.” He curled his arms around my waist and stood. I wrapped my legs around his hips, not able to look away from him for a second. “I never thought I’d hear you say that again.”
“I want you,” I repeated, just to hammer the point home.
He took five steps into my bedroom but didn’t let me go as he sat on the edge of the bed, our hips aligned, and chests pressed against each other. “I want to spend the time worshipping every inch of you,” he ground out, gripping the edge of my shirt and pulling it over my head. He unsnapped my bra. “But I gotta be honest.” His hands moved down to my jeans, his fingers skipping over the open button, and instead, undoing the zipper. “I’m not sure if I can go slow right now.”
I ran
my hand through his hair, pulling on it to get his attention. “I don’t need you to go slow.” I rolled my hips, groaning at the feel of his erection. “I just need you.”
His hooded eyes didn’t move off me as he lifted me up and twirled me around to deposit me on the bed. He didn’t look away as he pulled my jeans off, followed by my panties, and finally, my socks. I was laid bare for him, and the way his eyes soaked in every inch, made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.
He grabbed at the back of his T-shirt, pulling it over his head in one swoop and revealing his defined chest and abs. His long fingers moved to the button on his jeans, unhooking it. His jeans fell low on his hips because of the weight of the things attached to his belt, and I could see the V that led down to something I wanted so much right now.
I was salivating at the sight of him, but I didn’t move. I stayed right where I was, soaking in every inch of him, and knowing that he was all mine.
He moved back, pulling the badge off his belt and placing it on my dresser. His gun followed, and then another device. He pushed down on the waistband of his jeans, letting them drop to the floor, and he stepped out of them, stalking toward me.
Words weren’t needed, not when the atmosphere was sparking so much it could light on fire any second. His erection bobbed with each step he took, and then he slowly crawled over me, placing his hands on either side of my head.
“I love you,” he said, and I’d never get tired of hearing those three little words.
One of his hands lifted, and he trailed it between us, rubbing his palm over my skin and making me groan. He stopped at my hip, his fingers moving round to my ass, and squeezed. A moan slipped out from the roughness of his fingers, and my leg lifted to hook around his hip.
I could feel his erection pressed against me, and as much as I wanted to feel his fingers on my clit, I couldn’t wait. I lifted my ass off the bed, feeling him against my opening.
Down Fall: Fallen Duet: Book Two Page 16