by Naima Simone
“Did you beg her to stay?” Nessa whispered.
Wolf jerked his head back to her, shame burning behind his rib cage. “Yes,” he rasped. “Did you beg Jeremy?”
“No,” she said. “But sometimes I wish I had.”
The quiet in the truck trembled with all they’d said and left unsaid.
“Do you still love him?” The air shouldn’t snag in his lungs while he waited for her answer. His gut shouldn’t tighten as he watched her lips part, desperate to see which word they would shape.
“No, I don’t—”
His mouth was on hers before she could finish the sentence. He didn’t need to hear the rest. He tasted it on his tongue. Feasted on it.
Later he would try and convince himself he’d been gentle with her. But he cupped her head between his palms, holding her steady for what could only be labeled a taking, a claiming. He was greedy, wild, desperate. Anything but gentle.
But thank God she didn’t seem to mind. Hell no, Nessa fisted his hair, tugged him closer even as she strained toward him. Her groan emptied into his mouth as she angled her head, opened wider for him.
Maybe the emotional rawness of their conversation fueled the flames of this voracious need, stoking them higher, hotter. Maybe he just used it as an excuse to finally get his mouth on her, to justify tossing aside the many reasons why he shouldn’t be indulging in this.
Maybe...
Maybe...
Right now, with his tongue thrusting hard between her lips, tangling and twisting in a dirty dance that had his cock pounding against his zipper in envy, he didn’t give a fuck about maybes.
Over and over he returned to that beautiful, sinful mouth. Even when he pulled away to scatter hard kisses over her elegant cheekbones, the slope of her nose, the stubborn but delicate jaw, he came back to that lush mouth. One hit, just one taste of it, and already he was an addict.
A whisper of self-preservation urged him to slow down, to pull back. But then she sucked on his bottom lip, grazed it with her teeth. He groaned, feeling the phantom rake of that caress over his dick. Wishful thinking but wanting it with the passion of a thousand suns.
“Fuck.” He tore himself away from her only to bury his face in the hollow between her neck and throat. Her scent, that sultry combination of jasmine, cedar and her, filled his nose, his lungs. “Baby, I’m sorry.”
She stiffened against him, her hands dropping from his hair.
Shit.
Sorry he’d been so rough. Sorry he hadn’t asked permission to kiss her. Sorry he’d lost control with her.
But to her, it must’ve sounded as if he regretted touching her. Regretted her.
Sometimes the old saying about men’s brains being in their dicks was true.
“Nessa, I did—”
“I should go in.”
She pushed away from him, and though everything in him roared not to let her out without clearing up this misunderstanding, he couldn’t detain her. Even though she had moaned into his mouth and clenched his hair so hard his scalp still tingled, he hadn’t asked. He wouldn’t usurp that choice again. As someone intimately familiar with having no voice, no choice in someone else’s decisions, he hated inflicting that on another person.
“Nessa,” he said again. “You misunderstood. Just give me a couple of minutes—”
“I understand that this shouldn’t have happened.” She gripped the door handle and pushed it down. “For either one of us. And no worries, it won’t again.” Her voice, as cold as the air rushing into the truck from the open door, cooled the lust simmering in his veins.
She slipped out of the vehicle and only then turned to look at him. And he almost broke his promise of not going after her, of not keeping her there and making her listen. Anything to wipe that inscrutable, aloof mask from her face.
“Thank you for tonight.” She shut the door, the quiet click louder than if she’d slammed it. More final.
His hands flew to his seat belt, but just as he pressed the button to unbuckle it, he hesitated. He could follow her and say what? That she was wrong? That it should’ve happened? No, he didn’t regret finding out how she tasted, but that didn’t make her wrong.
The first day she’d arrived at the inn, he’d known she would be a complication. And sex would only muddy an already murky situation. That kiss hadn’t changed anything. She was still leaving. She was still big-city and made no bones about it. And tonight had revealed another reason why becoming involved would be foolish as hell. She’d been leveled by a relationship just as he had and left in pieces.
What was the adage?
“Hurt people hurt people.”
That’s what they would do to each other. Was there really any other outcome?
No, she’d done the smart thing by retreating. And he’d follow her lead.
Shifting the car into Reverse, he backed out of the driveway, watching Nessa climb the stairs. She didn’t look back as she crossed the porch and let herself into the inn. And he didn’t pull off until he made sure she was safe inside.
Once he was at the cabin he called home, he would grab a beer, watch some TV. Put off going to bed. Because when his eyes were closed and his body was relaxed, convincing himself that he could stay away from Nessa now that he’d tangled with her would be a hell of a lot harder.
Thirteen
“I’M POSITIVE THERE are coffee shops and cafés in Boston that are just as good as this one, but under threat of eternal caffeine deprivation, I can’t recall any.” Nessa studied the chalkboard menu with the day’s specials along with the permanent board beside it with the everyday offerings. “Why do I sound like a crackhead right now?”
Ivy snorted. “Well, I didn’t want to say it.”
Nessa arched an eyebrow. “Is this where I pretend I don’t know you had Flo stop by here and bring you home a doughnut and hot chocolate yesterday after her shift at the ice cream shop?”
“Is this where I pretend I didn’t notice you sitting in the car with Wolf last night?” Ivy shot back, raising her own eyebrow.
Well, shit. “Yeah, it is.”
The preteen smirked. “Thought so.”
“You know for a tiny person you are extraordinarily annoying.”
Ivy’s smirk grew into a full-fledged grin, surprise and pleasure flashing in her eyes. “It’s a gift.”
Shaking her head, Nessa returned to scanning the menu even though she’d already decided on her order. Less chance of embarrassing herself and Ivy if she pretended to peruse the coffee offerings rather than stare at the younger girl in confusion and hope.
Ivy had shocked Nessa into near speechlessness when she’d asked to tag along on Nessa’s daily trip to Mimi’s Café. Other than that small show of concern yesterday evening at the Christmas tree decorating contest, they’d been engaged in their own version of a cold war. But Nessa had quickly shoved past her surprise and agreed. Though she’d been trying in vain to forget that mind-fuck of a kiss with Wolf last night, she couldn’t evict his question about her motivation behind not telling Ivy the truth about Isaac.
Was she afraid of losing the girl who she’d considered her sister for twelve years? Scared Ivy would reject her?
Yes. Yes, she was. Because, though genetics didn’t connect them, Ivy was the only family Nessa had left. And she didn’t want to lose her.
Did that mean she’d decided to reveal everything?
God, she didn’t know.
She had the feeling that no matter what she did, whatever decision she made, they would both be hurt and irrevocably changed.
And sue her for wanting to avoid that for as long as possible.
“You have plans for today?” Nessa shifted forward, daring to nudge Ivy’s shoulder.
“Not until later. The twins were telling me about movie night at the theater this evening, and I’d like to go. But first
, I wanted to ask you if I could go with Cher to the pageant auditions. She’s trying out for it and would like me to come with her for moral support. You’d never guess it, but she’s shy about singing in front of people.”
“You’re right. I’d never have guessed it.” Nessa chuckled, shaking her head. “Sure. What time?”
“After school lets out for them. Three thirty at the high school auditorium. Would you mind dropping me off?”
“Not at all.” Not wanting this nice truce to end, Nessa said, “You seem to really like the twins.”
Weak but, shoot, she didn’t have much practice at this calm, peaceful conversation thing with Ivy that didn’t contain any shut-up-talking-to-me vibes.
Ivy nodded. “They’re so cool. And nice. They don’t treat me—”
Nessa stiffened, staring down at Ivy, unease creeping through her. An unease that bordered on Whose ass do I need to kick? “They don’t treat you like what, Ivy?”
She shrugged, staring down at the toes of the sneakers where she’d drawn stars and small cartoon figures. But after a moment, she said, “The kids at school...after Dad died, they acted weird toward me. They were either supernice that it was so fake. Or they acted like him dying was contagious and ignored me and stayed away from me. It sucked. I hated it.”
Ivy whispered the last three words, and Nessa damn near vibrated with the effort it cost her not to wrap an arm around Ivy. Why could she offer comfort to her patients but not to this hurting little girl?
Because those people depended on her, looked to her for assurance, for answers. The chances of being rebuffed by them were slim. And if they did, Nessa never took it personally. That wasn’t the case with Ivy. Her rejection would be a blow right to her heart. And after all she’d taken in the last few months, she didn’t know if she could survive one more.
“But the twins aren’t like that?” she asked instead, even though her palms tingled with the need to at least stroke a hand over Ivy’s thick curls.
“No.” Ivy gave an emphatic shake of her head, lifting her gaze back to Nessa’s. “Did you know their bio parents are dead, too? That’s how they came to be with Moe and Mr. Dennison. It was a long time ago, but they still get it, and they’ve never treated me any differently.” She scrunched up her nose. “It’s like that in Rose Bend. Do you think that’s another reason Dad sent us here?”
Nessa’s heart stuttered, stopped. Then started again with a clang against her rib cage. For the first time since their blowup, Ivy had mentioned Isaac and her voice hadn’t held any pain or resentment. Just curiosity.
Still, Nessa hesitated. Answered the question as if tiptoeing around a land mine. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“When Dad and Mom visited here with me, he must’ve found something special about it, right? Otherwise, why would he have sent us here out of all the places in the country, in the world? It’s a pretty town, but there are a bunch of pretty places.” She drew in a breath. “I think it’s the people. Everyone’s so nice. I’m not stupid. I’m sure there are mean people just like there are everywhere, but for the most part, the people I’ve met—strangers—are so kind. Dad must’ve found that, too. And he wanted that for me. To maybe connect with him through this town, through the people even though he—he’s...gone.” She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed out a rough laugh rimmed in embarrassment. “Anyway. I know it sounds stupid.”
“No, it doesn’t sound stupid. I think...” You’re so damn smart. Your father sent us both here to find connections to our fathers. “I think that makes perfect sense, and you knew your father very well.”
Ivy stared at Nessa, blinked, then glanced away. Silence fell between them as they shifted forward in line, both of them returning their attention to the menu. But then Ivy whispered, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Nessa said just as softly. After a couple of seconds, she hesitated, nerves attacking her stomach. Screw it. “I know you have plans with Cher later, but until then, do you want to do a little shopping? I thought we could pick up some gifts for the Dennisons since we’re spending Christmas here with them...”
Jesus, a twelve-year-old had her anxiety level about to go through the roof.
Ivy shrugged a shoulder, still giving the menu the same hard stare. “Sure. Sounds good.”
“Good.”
Awkward but... A smile tugged at the corner of Nessa’s mouth as relief coursed through her. Awkward but good.
The customer in front of them finished up and stepped away and they moved forward. Nessa placed her order for a caramel macchiato and Ivy’s peppermint mocha with two glazed doughnuts for both of them.
“Hi, Nessa.” The familiar voice greeted her, and Nessa stiffened.
Slowly, she turned, facing Olivia.
She broke me.
Wolf’s pained admission echoed in her head, haunting her now as it’d done all last night. This woman had been the source of that pain. She’d once owned his heart. And she’d shattered it. Rationally, Nessa grasped that Olivia had every right to decide her own future.
But the part of her that listened to Wolf talk about finding himself after being lost... The part that heard the shame in his voice as he admitted to begging Olivia to stay... The part that could still feel the brand of his lips, his tongue as he mated with her mouth...
That part blamed Olivia.
But that had everything to do with Nessa and her wayward and wholly unwise feelings toward Wolf, and nothing to do with Olivia, who had been only kind to Nessa. So she would return that kindness. Even if thoughts of Wolf touching Olivia as he’d done to Nessa last night in his truck had her itching to bleach her brain.
“Hey, Olivia.” She smiled, then reached into her purse and removed her wallet and several bills. “I don’t think you’ve met my sister, Ivy.” Nessa cupped Ivy’s shoulder. “Hey, Ivy. I’d like you to meet Olivia Allen, a friend of Wolf’s and Leo’s. Olivia, this is my sister, Ivy.”
Ivy waved at her. “Hi, Ms. Allen. Nice to meet you.”
“You, too, Ivy.”
“Here you go, Ivy.” Nessa handed the preteen the dollar bills. “Could you pay for our order?”
“Got it.”
“She’s beautiful,” Olivia said, smiling. “How’re you doing, Nessa? We didn’t really get a chance to talk yesterday at the contest. I tried to find you afterward.”
The “but you left with Wolf” went unsaid. It screamed between them, nonetheless. Leaving Nessa battling the inane urge to explain—or worse—apologize. For what? Olivia and Wolf were no longer together. Yet, Nessa hadn’t missed the flash of hurt in Olivia’s eyes last night. Just as she hadn’t failed to notice the longing. In spite of being cast as pseudorivals, they shared a solidarity in need for the same man.
“I’m sorry,” Nessa evaded. “Did you want something?”
“Yes, I—” Olivia hiked her chin toward the display window of the café. “Do you mind if we grab a table while we wait for your sister?”
“Sure.” Quickly scanning, she spotted one near the front door and led the way there. Once seated, she shifted so she could keep an eye on Ivy, who stood at the pick-up end of the counter. “What’s up?”
“I wanted to apologize for Jenna’s behavior yesterday. She...” Olivia tilted her head, a rueful twist curving her lips. “Her heart’s in the right place, but she can come across...”
“Rude. Overbearing. A bully,” Nessa supplied.
Huffing out a strained chuckle, Olivia nodded. “Yes. Those. And I’m sorry you were the target of it. Especially since it was on my behalf.”
Nessa held up a hand, palm out. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s nice of you, but it’s not your place. Although, I appreciate the thought.” She paused. She really shouldn’t go there. Should just leave it alone. But, with a mental shrug, she powered ahead. What the hell? Olivia had brought it up. “I’m just go
ing to put this out there, and I don’t mean to offend you. But your friend is a...” bitch “...piece of work. And let’s face it. I’m not the only person she’s directed that attitude at. Sydney, for example. I don’t get it. You two are so different. Why do you put up with someone who is so nasty to other people?”
Olivia blinked, then a grin quirked the corner of her mouth. “Wow, you just put it out there.”
“Believe me, I held back.”
The other woman laughed, genuine humor lacing the sound and warming her eyes. God, why couldn’t she be a bitch like her friend? She was gorgeous, sweet and the bully whisperer. Made it impossible to dislike Wolf’s ex when knowing she’d seen him naked should be enough of a reason.
No, it shouldn’t, she sharply reprimanded herself. Not my business. Not my man.
It didn’t bode well for her that she had to keep reminding her subconscious of that fact.
“I understand if you don’t know Jenna well, she can come across as off-putting. But that’s just it—I’m one of the few people who know her well. She has a softer side not many people see. Well, let’s be honest. She doesn’t allow many people to see, and she has her reasons that are her own and not for me to share.” Olivia’s lashes lowered as she wrapped both of her hands around her to-go coffee cup. “And when I really need a friend, she’s never let me down. She’s always been there for me. Even after I left town. And believe me, leaving the only home you’ve known can be extremely lonely. But she’s stuck by me. I know she can be abrasive and that outer shell can be pricklier than the offspring of a porcupine and fire ant.” Olivia grinned at Nessa’s snort. “But if you have her as a friend, you’re the hill she will die on.”
No matter how hard she tried, Nessa couldn’t match up the picture Olivia painted with the woman who’d run the gamut from dismissive to petty and rude. But Nessa wasn’t in a friendship with her.
“I’ll take your word for it. Either way, she’s lucky to have you for a friend, too.” Nessa glanced from Wolf’s ex toward Ivy. The barista handed the girl their drinks, and she would be arriving at the table in the next few moments. Switching her attention back to Olivia, Nessa met the other woman’s lilac gaze. “But you didn’t want to just talk to me about Jenna, did you?”