by Naima Simone
Cut him off.
But dammit. Dammit, he had to try. He had to...try.
“Baby, give me a minute, please? Talk to me,” he whispered, his fingers tingling, aching with the need to touch her. Hold her.
“Later,” she said, her voice even. No, flat. “I should go find Ivy and check on her.” Giving Leo a nod, she pivoted on her heel and walked away.
Damn that. She had to listen—
“Let her go, Wolf,” Leo murmured, her hand encircling his upper arm, stopping him from following Nessa. “Just give her some time. As someone who’s been on the receiving end of—” she glanced behind him to Olivia, then returned her gaze to him “—this before, I can promise you, going after her and pushing a confrontation is only going to make things worse, not better.”
“There isn’t any this,” he insisted. “Shit.” He scrubbed both palms down his face. But he heeded his sister’s advice and didn’t go after Nessa. Whirling around, he linked both his fingers behind his neck, staring down at the ground. “I know what it looked like. But I didn’t kiss Olivia. I would never do that to Nessa. I—”
He broke off. Damn if he would tell his sister he loved Nessa when he hadn’t even told her yet.
“Yeah, I know,” Leo said, and he shot her a sharp look. She shrugged, a wry smile lifting a corner of her mouth. “I’ve had twenty-seven years to make a study of you, Wolf. I know when my brother is in love with someone.”
“Wolf.” Olivia touched his arm, and this time he flinched, pulling away from her. “I didn’t think...”
“No, you didn’t,” Leo snapped, moving next to Wolf and clasping his hand in hers. “I’m not going to accuse you of staging that whole thing and sabotaging him and Nessa. I’ll give you credit for that, although considering who you’re friends with, maybe I shouldn’t. But you, especially as a woman, know better than to take what isn’t given without permission.”
“You’re right.” Olivia shook her head. “Wolf, I’m sorry. And I didn’t know you and Nessa were... Or I didn’t want to think you were... I can find her. Talk to her. Tell her what happened.”
“No.” He rubbed at his chest, but nothing alleviated the constriction, the constant flare of pain. Part of him wanted to tell her she’d done more than enough, but what would it serve? “I appreciate the offer, but no.” Gently extricating his hand from Leo’s, he pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. “I’m going to head back to the inn. Maybe...”
What? Wait for Nessa there? Ambush her? Yeah, everything inside Wolf roared at him to do just that. But just as Leo had said to Olivia, he couldn’t take what Nessa wasn’t offering. Whether that was conversation, her touch...
Her heart.
Just like he couldn’t make her love him, he couldn’t force her to stay either.
Eighteen
NESSA HIT THE “end call” button on her cell, concluding her conversation with Beverly, her mom’s best friend. Tossing the phone to the mattress behind her, she cursed under her breath and paced the space between the window and the bed.
“Where is it?” she muttered, rubbing her hands up and down her arms. “Where could it be?”
The box her mom’s friend had promised to send should’ve been here a week ago. After Wolf shared the disappointing info he’d received from Eva Wright, that box had become more important than ever. Beverly promised she’d mailed it out last week, and she’d also tracked the package. The postal service website showed a delivery date of four days ago here at the inn. A couple of days ago, she’d checked with Sinead and Moe, and neither of them had accepted a package. Nessa had even gone to the post office yesterday, and all they could tell her was it’d been delivered.
Where. Was. It?
She came to a halt, threading her fingers through her hair and whimpered. She needed the box. It was her last connection to her mother. It might have the answers she needed. Dimly, she acknowledged that part of her urgency could be attributed to the need to distract herself from Wolf and the memory of Olivia’s mouth on him. From the devastation that had streaked through her like a forest fire, leaving her in ashes right there in The Glen.
From the shattering knowledge that she’d opened herself again.
That she’d let her guard down and let Wolf in like she’d never even allowed Jeremy. She’d known—she’d known—Wolf would be far more destructive. That he was an atomic bomb that would change the very landscape of her life, leaving her nothing like who she’d been. Unrecognizable. And still, she hadn’t stopped, hadn’t heeded.
She’d lied to herself, had broken the promise to herself, and was now paying the price.
A sob welled up in her chest, scrabbling for her throat, but she swallowed it back down. Tears hadn’t stopped Isaac from walking out on their family. Tears hadn’t kept her mother from dying. Tears hadn’t changed the fact of Jeremy leaving.
They wouldn’t change anything now.
“Nessa?”
Swiping at the tears she’d already deemed useless, she turned to find her sister standing on the other side of the bed.
“Hey, Ivy.” She tried to inject a cheer into her voice, but when the preteen narrowed her eyes on her, Nessa assumed she failed. Miserably.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” When Ivy’s mouth flattened and she glanced away from her, Nessa sank to the wide window seat, suddenly exhausted. Of the pretense. Of the lies. Fuck it. “No, Ivy, I’m not okay. I’m actually kind of sad.”
Surprise flashed through Ivy’s dark eyes, the same surprise that echoed inside of Nessa. Well, that had popped out. Her lips forming a little “o,” Ivy rounded the bed and perched on the end of the mattress, across from Nessa.
“Is this about Wolf?” she asked.
Nessa tried and failed to contain a flinch at the sound of his name. Hadn’t she always said Ivy was too perceptive? But then again, since they’d arrived in Rose Bend, Nessa had spent time with him. Even more so in the last two weeks. So it would probably be obvious to Ivy when Nessa hadn’t gone near him.
“Yes,” she admitted. No point in lying to her. “But it’s nothing you need to worry about, okay? Friends argue, just like you do with yours. We’ll be fine.”
Well, so much for lying to Ivy.
“True.” Ivy shrugged a shoulder. “Except I don’t kiss Sonny or Cher.”
Nessa stared at her. Then snorted. “Okay, you got that one. But I’m serious, I don’t want you to think about me or Wolf. You’re here in Rose Bend to enjoy Christmas. And in spite of all that’s happened lately, you’re still a kid. A kid who should enjoy this holiday and not think about adult issues. Just like your father wanted.”
“Our father,” Ivy whispered. “And you, too. He wanted you to enjoy Christmas here, too.”
“Yeah, me, too.” Isaac had his own reasons for sending her here, but yes, it’d been a gift he’d hoped she find and hopefully love. “But honestly, I’m a little upset about a package my mom’s friend mailed out to me. It was supposed to have arrived here at the inn. I can’t find it.”
“A package? What was in it?”
“It was a bunch of my mother’s personal items. After she, uh,” she paused, swallowed. “After she died, I couldn’t bring myself to go through them yet, so I brought them with me to your house when I moved in. But now, the box seems to have disappeared. No one can find it. Not the post office. Moe. I don’t know where it could’ve gone, and I’m worried I’ve lost—Ivy? What...?”
But her sister wasn’t listening. She’d climbed down off the bed and hunkered down at the bottom. Lifting the long bedskirt, she pulled out a white postal box with Nessa’s name printed on the label.
“Ivy?” Stunned, and still a little disbelieving, Nessa shifted her gaze from the box to her sister. “How did you...?”
“I’m sorry,” Ivy whispered, picking up the package and placing it on the window seat be
side Nessa. “I didn’t know it was your mom’s things. I wouldn’t have kept it from you if I’d known. I found it on the porch a few days ago and brought it upstairs and hid it under the bed. I know I should’ve told you, but I thought it might be from work since the return address had Boston on it. I didn’t want to go back home yet. And I didn’t want you to leave.”
Nessa should be pissed. After all, the girl had lied to her. And maybe if the I didn’t want you to leave would stop echoing in her head over and over, she would be. But it did, and love for her sister—because yes, regardless of blood, this girl was her sister—filled her chest to the point of bursting.
Clearing her throat, she jabbed her a finger at Ivy. “Federal offenses of taking someone’s mail aside, you’re forgiven. Next time, though—but you promise me there won’t be a next time?—I’m pressing charges.”
Ivy grinned. “I promise. Besides, they don’t allow YouTube in jail.” Hopping off the bed, she grabbed Nessa’s car keys off the bedside table and handed them to her. “Here you go.”
“Thanks, Ivy.”
She accepted the keys, but as eager as she was, she didn’t tear into the box. Instead, she splayed her fingers wide on the top. Procrastinating. Yes, she was definitely procrastinating, even though the rapid thudding of her pulse insisted she hurry, hurry. And not just because for the first time in eight months, she would touch her mother’s belongings. But because some intuition whispered that the key to her search lay in this box.
“Nessa?” Ivy whispered.
But Nessa couldn’t tear her focus from the box, from the certainty that as soon as she opened it, everything would change for her.
How long she sat there, hands flattened to the top of the package, staring at it, she didn’t know. She didn’t even tear her gaze from it when Ivy left the room, the door closing shut behind her. Or when she returned minutes later.
But when a large hand settled on her back, Nessa wasn’t shocked. Part of her—that stupid, glutton for punishment part—was perhaps waiting for Wolf to arrive. It didn’t surprise her that Ivy had sought him out and brought him up to their room. Regardless of what happened between them the night before—and if she were honest, at some point during the early hours of the sleepless morning, she’d already started questioning the optics of that—he was her friend. He’d been on this journey with her in Rose Bend. It seemed only right that he be here for her when she dived into her past.
And if she were even more honest... She needed him, his strength, in this moment.
Inhaling, she held the breath, then slowly exhaled it. She could do this.
“Here, Nessa.” Ivy tucked a tissue in her hand, and wow.
When had she started crying? Wiping away the damp tracks, she picked up the keys, and with her sister and her...well, Wolf, beside her, she opened the postal package. And then the carboard box within.
Ivy’s thin body pressed against the outside of Nessa’s thigh as she pulled open the flaps. A waterlogged chuckle escaped her as she removed a program for the one and only school talent show Nessa entered in the fourth grade. Her mom had even circled Nessa’s name under the group performance of Annie’s “It’s the Hard-Knock Life.” She’d been one of the nameless orphans.
Setting it aside, she waded through more of her childhood. Report cards, arts ’n’ crafts Mother’s Day cards and Christmas ornaments, awards and certifications. Hands shaking, Nessa stroked a hand over her mother’s jewelry box. It’d sat on her mother’s dresser for as long as she could remember. Lifting the lid, she sifted through the various pieces—some costume, some not—coming to one she recognized.
She gasped, removing the thin gold chain with the ring. For as long as Nessa could remember, Evelyn had worn this necklace and beautiful ring with the setting in the shape of a rose with a diamond in the middle. Evelyn had only removed it when she’d gone into the hospital for the last time. Nessa released the clasp and raised it to her neck.
“Here.” Wolf gently took it from her and within moments it hung around her neck. “It’s beautiful.”
“Thank you,” Nessa whispered. “It was my mom’s favorite.”
Picking up a lovely charm bracelet, Nessa turned to Ivy. “This was also one of her favorites. I think she would’ve loved for you to have it.”
“You don’t...” Ivy’s gaze jerked from the bracelet to Nessa. “Really? You don’t think she would’ve minded? I’m not her daughter.”
“You’re my sister. She would’ve insisted,” she said, knowing it was the truth in her heart, her spirit. “If you want it, that is. You don’t have to—”
“I do.” Ivy thrust her arm out. “I’d love it. It’s so pretty.” She held still as Nessa attached it around her wrist. “I’ll never take it off, I promise.”
Squeezing her hand, Nessa turned back to the jewelry box and carefully closing the lid, set it aside. Breathing deeply, she brushed her fingertips over a small photo album beneath. It wasn’t the one that had occupied her mother’s entertainment center. Nessa had packed that, and others, away in storage. This one, with its cream jacket and spiderweb of cracks, was older.
Nessa removed it and opened the cover.
The air whistled from her lungs as if punctured. An old, faded picture of her mother. Young. Early twenties, maybe. And happy. So happy. Her hair in two long braids that fell over her shoulders, she grinned at the camera.
And whoever was behind it.
“Isn’t that...” She pointed at the white church with its distinctive steeple in the background.
“St. John’s Catholic Church? Yeah.” Wolf leaned over her shoulder, his scent a comfort and torment. “This picture was taken in Rose Bend.”
“Rose Bend?” Ivy peered at the picture. “Your mom visited here, too?”
“A long time ago,” Nessa murmured, touching a fingertip to her mom’s smile, forever captured in the image.
“You look like her,” Wolf commented.
Nessa nodded. “I got that a lot from people.”
A murky jumble of anxiety, excitement and sorrow tangled in her belly. She wanted to continue flipping the pages, but God...she didn’t. A little afraid of what she would find.
But she couldn’t stop. Not when she had this glimpse into a side of her mother she’d never known.
The next picture was of her mother again, with the mountains in the background, looking more carefree than Nessa had ever seen her. In the next, her mother posed in front of what Nessa recognized as the ice cream shop, though it didn’t look the same as it did today. Only this time, she stood with a man. He didn’t appear to be that much older than her. Tall, Black, lean but built, handsome. And as he stared down at her mother instead of into the camera, he seemed completely enamored.
She stiffened, shock striking her like a bolt of lightning. Could this be him? Her father? What were the odds that Isaac sent her here on a search for him because her mother had mentioned this was where she’d met him? And then in a photo album that she’d hidden away were pictures of her and a mysterious man in this very town?
She didn’t believe in coincidences.
“You think this could be him?” Wolf asked, and it felt eerily like he’d read her mind.
She tipped her head back to find him frowning down at the image. Before she could answer, Ivy jerked her attention from the photo to Nessa.
“Who’s ‘him’?” she demanded. “Are you talking about your biological father? Is that him?” She pointed at the picture.
The photo album tumbled from Nessa’s suddenly numb fingers to her lap as she gaped at the preteen. Dimly, Wolf’s low, muttered curse reached her ears.
“You knew?” Nessa rasped, unable to tear her gaze from Ivy. Unable to comprehend the words that Ivy had just stated. White noise roared in Nessa’s head, and she shook it in a vain attempt to clear it. “How could you...? How long...?” Yeah, finishing a complete sen
tence was beyond her.
Ivy swallowed, uncertainty crossing her expression. Her lashes lowered and her bottom lip trembled. Crossing her thin arms over her chest, she murmured, “I’ve known for a long time. I overheard Daddy talking to Ben, his lawyer, one night a couple of years ago. Daddy thought I was in bed, but I’d gotten up for water. I kind of—” she squirmed, still not looking at Nessa “—eavesdropped. Daddy was telling Ben that your mom wanted to tell you he wasn’t your real father years ago, but Daddy wouldn’t let her. Because you were his.”
Nessa’s lips parted on a soundless gasp. Isaac had been the one against telling her? Because she was...his? He’d loved her. Isaac really had loved her.
She blinked against the fresh sting of tears. Shit. At the rate she was going, she’d be able to water Moe’s huge Christmas tree downstairs.
“Why haven’t you said anything, Mozart?” Wolf asked gently.
Ivy glanced at Wolf, and a tear rolled down her cheek before she hurriedly brushed it away with the back of her hand.
“Because I didn’t want Nessa to leave me, too, if she found out. She’s all I have left.” Ivy dragged in a shuddering breath and switched her gaze to Nessa. Sorrow drenched her dark, glistening eyes, and her face crumbled. “I know I’ve been mean to you, Nessa. And I’m sorry. I’ve just been so mad at Dad for dying. And I’m scared, too. You didn’t like me before Dad died and you didn’t want to be my guardian. I thought if you knew that Dad wasn’t your real father, then you might go and not come back.”
“I didn’t like you? God, Ivy,” Nessa said, cupping the girl’s elbows, tugging her closer, “why in the world would you think that?”
“You didn’t come see me,” she said in a small voice. A small voice carrying a lot of hurt in it. “Why else would you not come see me?”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Nessa stood, setting the photo album aside and pulling her sister into her arms. With a sob, Ivy wrapped her arms around Nessa, and they clung to one another. “Me not coming around had nothing to do with you and everything to do with my stupid stubbornness and pride. Your dad’s and my relationship—it was complicated. That’s a discussion for another time, but I need you to understand one very important thing, okay?” She drew back and cupped Ivy’s damp face, tilting it up so she had no choice but to meet her gaze and see the truth in her eyes. “You were not to blame in any of that. At all. And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry if I made you believe for even a second that you were the reason I didn’t come around. I love you, Ivy. You might be a know-it-all little shit sometimes, but you’re my know-it-all little shit and I love you.”