by Jill Haven
“And it just said not to write again.” I sighed.
“Fucking Dawson,” Ewin whispered, and his arms wrapped tighter around me. He kissed the top of my head once, twice, three times more. “I’m so sorry he did that. I wish I could do something.”
I waved my hand with an airiness I didn’t feel. A rock sat in my stomach as I remembered my brother abandoning me. “Anyway…” I didn’t pull breeziness off, either. My voice cracked so I tried again and rushed through the rest of my story. “Um…as soon as I could, I got a job. I filed for emancipation, the judge approved a pretty much open and shut case. Dawson still sent me money, and later enough to cover tuition at college, so I had enough to live independently from our parents. It’s kind of like a bad divorce. Dawson used to love me, but now we don’t even speak anymore, and I must be just an unwanted financial responsibility for him.”
Ewin stayed silent for a moment, as if checking that was all I had to say. It gave me the space I needed to process things a little and put it all back in the box I’d just unpacked it from. I wriggled around to face him, and his dark eyes were pools of sympathy.
“I don’t need your pity.” Anger blazed through me, even though part of me recognized Ewin wasn’t my target.
He leaned forward, kissing me on the lips, and I clung to the moment, to that chaste kiss, the connection, until he drew away. “It isn’t pity. It’s admiration. Thank you so much for being open with me. Thank you for trusting me. I feel honored—truly.” He cleared his throat. “Ryker mentioned a bit, but only the highlights.” He glanced at the window, to where the slats of the blinds offered glimpses of the dark night.
Suddenly lighter, I chuckled. “Oh, Ryker. Well, he’s always been a blabbermouth.”
Ewin laughed, too. “He’s in the right job for it, I guess. Knows too much about everybody.” He traced his finger down my cheek. “No, he only told me because he cares about you. He’s not spreading your personal business all around town.”
“Just the important people?”
Ewin nodded. “The important people.” Then he sobered, his muscles tightening. He opened his mouth as if to say something then hesitated. “Listen, there’s stuff I’d like to share with you about me too, but it’s getting late and you’ve been through enough reliving this for me, so I’ll leave it for another day.” He pressed a kiss to my temple before drawing back. “You should be really proud of yourself, you know, August? I can’t believe what you’ve achieved, how much you’ve turned your life around. I have only admiration for you. You’re going to go far.”
Another wave of grief hit me to hear the pride in Ewin’s tone, and I kissed him to prevent from breaking down crying. The sob welling in my chest lessened when Ewin chuckled against my lips before returning my kiss just as fiercely, anchoring me. Being there.
My phone buzzed, vibrating on my cheap coffee table. Ewin drew back.
“One of your friends?”
I picked it up and checked the glowing screen. “No… Huh. It’s just a notification from the town gossip site.”
“The what?”
I angled my phone so he could see. “It’s a website with cryptic messages, supposedly about town residents. All anonymous, of course.”
Ewin read the words from the alert out loud. “Can you feel the love tonight? I can. Too bad it isn’t me. Are these posts even accurate?”
I nodded. “You know, and maybe it’s like a horoscope and everyone thinks it applies to them, but the notifications always seem pretty accurate. Eerie, really.”
“And who’s behind it?” He touched the screen, scrolling up the newsfeed to read the past messages. “Wow…whoever it is, they’re pretty busy.”
“Recently. They haven’t done it for a while, but they started up again. But I literally have no idea who’s behind the account.” I shivered and pulled the throw tighter. “It really is anonymous. It’s our own little town mystery, I guess.”
14
Ewin
June 25th
My car about drove itself to August’s home, it already knew the way so well. My heart lifted as I thought about the gorgeous man who smelled of a clean forest glade, and my body reacted to the mere memory of his scent.
I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of whatever the local commercial radio station had on their playlist and flipped on my turn signal as I neared August’s apartment. Then the radio volume dropped, replaced by the ringing of my cell phone, the screen lighting with the increasingly familiar number of The Cedar House.
I waited the two rings before it auto-answered and spoke, “Ewin Storm.”
“Hi, Mr. Storm, it’s Ellie from The Cedar House.”
I waved my hand to indicate she should continue, even though she couldn’t see me. “Is everything okay?” I asked the question, even though I knew the answer. They wouldn’t just call me to shoot the breeze.
“It’s your mother—”
Well, duh. My impatience grew.
“She’s having another of her bad days, and she seems a little distressed. Your visits always calm her, so we wondered if you’re able to come and visit.” She paused. “I mean, if this isn’t a bad time. She’d in no danger if you’re busy. I just wanted to extend an invitation.”
I suppressed a sigh. Of course I wanted to see Mom. I didn’t know how many visits I had left until she wouldn’t know me when I walked in the door. Today might even be that day.
“How’s she doing with…everything?” I didn’t know how to ask if she still recognized familiar people.
Ellie laughed a little. “Oh, not too changed. Just a little grumpy, perhaps.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Then I said goodbye, and my screen faded to black as she hung up on her end.
I swung into a parking spot outside August’s apartment. And sat there for a moment. I should just leave and call August from the road. My mom needed me. Except I also needed August. Since being around him, I lost my temper less often, and he brought me a greater feeling of calm. I chewed my lip—something only anxious me ever did, and that wasn’t very often. Maybe it was time to tell him about Mom. After all, he’d confided everything about his brother to me the previous night. And I wanted to tell him… I just wanted the opportunity to plan it better.
A sigh blew from my mouth. The best-laid plans. I called up to August, wimping out on the face-to-face part.
“Hello?” I nearly melted. He sounded very sexy on the phone.
“Hey. Fancy a trip? I’m outside in my car.”
“Sure. I’ll be right down.” He hung up without even saying goodbye, and I smiled at the sudden silence.
Within moments, August bounded down the steps from his apartment, and my spirits lightened as he jogged toward me. To think I’d nearly missed this opportunity. I’d nearly been Harland, and I wouldn’t have even known until it was too late. When I spent time with August, it was as if the piece of my soul I hadn’t even realized was missing just clicked back into place.
I hadn’t known it could be like that.
He climbed into my car and immediately pressed his lips to mine. My body responded to his lush, full lips, and I captured his face between my palms, drawing him closer as I explored his mouth with mine.
When he was good and breathless, I drew back, but only far enough to rest my forehead against his. “Hey,” I murmured as I brushed the pad of my thumb over his lower lip.
“Hey.” His blue eyes gazed into mine, and desire thrummed through my body.
“You’re a pretty great kisser.” I kept my tone deadpan and he laughed.
“You’ve got some practicing to do, but I have openings in my schedule.”
I sighed and rested back against my seat. “I need to book you in for later. We have places to be.”
“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow, then a mischievous smile formed on his lips. “What do you have in mind?”
“How do you feel about meeting my mother?” I started the engine and checked that I was clear to move
forward, deliberately looking disinterested, keeping things casual, even though every muscle inside me had tensed in anticipation of rejection.
He fumbled his seatbelt, the buckle sliding over the clip. “I’m… We’re…? You’re sure?”
I nodded. “Today’s a great day, right?”
“Oh-kay…” He breathed out the word then pinched the bridge of his nose. “Maybe you deserve fewer kisses…”
I laid my palm on his knee, stopping it from bouncing up and down. “Don’t be nervous, okay? She’ll love you.”
He snorted. “Of course! I mean, how could she not?” Then he went quiet as he chewed his thumbnail. “But if you’d mentioned it, I would have put on nicer pants or a cleaner shirt, or something. You know, make a good first impression.”
I took my eyes off the road to face him for a moment. “Seriously. She will love you.” She’d always trusted my judgment.
“Okay.” A crease still remained between his eyebrows.
“We are absolutely ready for this step.” I patted his knee, wishing I could push some of my extra certainty into him.
As the journey continued, August relaxed, and his familiar scent returned, losing the bitter note that had accompanied his uncertainty. I relaxed, too, almost enjoying the drive on the narrow road as it wound through the trees. Every so often, I glanced at August, watching as the sunlight hit his blond hair and give him a natural halo.
“Where does your Mom live?”
“Not too far now.” I hid a smile. I already knew August was terrible when I tried to keep secrets or surprise him.
“You’re no fun…” His hand landed on my thigh before creeping upward. “You sure you won’t tell me?”
I flattened my lips and shook my head.
His hand moved higher, the heat from his skin seeping through the denim of my jeans.
“Really?”
I laughed. “Why would I tell you when I like the direction your hand is taking?”
“Huh.” He sat back and appeared to rethink, but his hand didn’t move, and awareness of him thrummed through me for the rest of the journey.
When I drew up in front of The Cedar House, a flicker of confusion crossed his features and he tilted his head as he looked out of the windshield. “Ewin.” He drew out my name. “Is there something you’ve forgotten to tell me?”
In that moment, August blew my universe wide open. He took away all my doubts, leaving me certain we could handle anything life threw at us.
“Thank you for being so great. I should have said so much of this before, but I was waiting for the right moment. Those don’t always arrive, though, do they?” I flashed a humorless smile and took his hand. “There’s a reason I’m back in Cedar Falls, and the restaurant is a symptom rather than a cause. My mom has dementia, and I wanted to be close to her because I don’t know how...” How what? How many days I’d be able to spend with her? How long she had left? I gave my head a quick shake to avoid getting dragged into that spiral of thoughts. “She lives here in town, where she has all the help she needs, but she has good days and bad days…” Too many bad recently. But I swallowed that thought and plowed on. “They called to tell me she’s having a bad day. I always try to make an extra visit when she needs me. Mom brought me up alone, so…” I lapsed into silence, unable to finish that thought either.
August sat quiet for a moment chewing on his thumbnail once more as he looked out of the windshield at the house. “I think you’re a good son,” he said finally.
“I didn’t want to cancel our time together.” I took his hand and interwove our fingers. Maybe I’d been too selfish, and I couldn’t have time with both of them just yet.
He looked at me, eyes liquid blue. “Thank you for sharing this with me. Of course I want to be here with you. If you want me or need me, I’ll always be right by your side.” He leaned in and kissed my lips, sealing his declaration.
We walked into the building, still hand in hand. The receptionist looked up from her computer and smiled when she saw me.
“Hey, Ellie.”
“Hello, Mr. Storm. She’s in the community room. Do you want me to show you the way?” She half rose from her seat, but I waved her back down.
“I remember it. Thanks.”
She nodded and smiled again, and the noise of her fingers flying over her keyboard filled the entrance space as I led August down the hall, deeper into the home. The chatter of a television grew louder, and a nurse bustled by, on her way out of the room. I acknowledged her but didn’t stop to chat. I wanted August and my mother to meet face to face and didn’t want to delay.
I spotted Mom in the corner of the room straight away. She was knitting again, still with the ratty old yarn. But at least it didn’t look as if she’d pulled it back lately. That was usually a good sign.
“Over here.” I tugged on August’s hand, eager to make the introductions but I let go of him at the last minute, right before she saw us. “Let me just see how she is first.”
“Okay. No problem. I’ll just blend in over there.” August indicated a corner with a dehydrated-looking plant, and I gave him a playful push. “Certainly can’t beat the company.”
He smiled at me, and my heart stuttered. I closed my eyes against a sudden burst of joy. Shit, I was a very lucky man.
I approached Mom and squatted down in front of her, taking her hands in mine and stilling her knitting. “You’re cold,” I murmured. Then, “How are you doing today?”
She narrowed her eyes at me, glaring with a ferocity I couldn’t guess the root of. Could be an imagined slight, could be she remembered I knocked the mailbox over one summer when I was eight.
I waited her out, smiling benignly, glad just to be with her. I could almost imagine us like this if she hadn’t gotten sick.
She sighed, a huff of irritation. “Well, you sure took your time getting here.”
I laughed, glad it was that simple. “I came as fast as I could. And I’m here now. Can I get you anything?”
“Did you bring me anything nice to eat? You know I love your cooking.” She resumed her knitting as she spoke, and the soft clicking of her needles lulled me into relaxing a little more.
“I didn’t.”
She glanced up, a small frown on her face.
“But I can tell you some stories about the new restaurant, if you like?” She usually liked to hear all my latest news.
She nodded.
“Things are going very well. We’re nearly ready to open, in fact. And then I can stay close by to you.”
She nodded again but partnered it with a smile this time, and I eased myself into the chair next to her. Ellie had said she was having a bad day, but so far, it felt like a pretty good one. I waved August over, and when he arrived at my side, I took his hand.
“Mom,” I started.
She looked up. “Well, you do have some news.” She set her knitting to one side.
“Yes, I do. I have someone I want you to meet. This is August.”
“Hello, Mrs. Storm. I’m really excited to meet you.” August bobbed forward and clasped her hand, and I almost expected him to execute a little curtsey or something.
Mom placed her hand over his, holding him in place as she looked him up and down.
“Well,” she finally said. “Of all things. I expected you to steal hearts, Ewin, but I didn’t expect you’d also rob the cradle.”
My cheeks flamed with sudden heat. “Mom!” I buried my face in my hands as August laughed.
“I’d like to tell you I’m older than I look, Mrs. Storm, but I’m not sure I am.”
When Mom’s knitting began to slow and her head started to bob, I gently took her knitting from her and signaled to the closest nurse.
“Thank you so much for taking me to meet your mom,” August said as climbed back into my car. “She’s a sweetheart.”
“Yeah, she really is.” A flicker of sadness passed through me that August would never know her as she was before, when she was lead cheerleader on eac
h of my projects, when she lived where I called home.
“Hopefully she liked me?” The insecurity in his question stabbed at my chest.
“Yeah, she really did,” I answered, and gave his hand a quick squeeze. “You were great with her.”
He smiled and leaned his head against the headrest. “Yeah, I was, wasn’t I?” He closed his eyes and smiled, and I resisted the urge to kiss him into a frenzy, right here outside The Cedar House.
“Can I take you out to dinner?” We weren’t in Cedar Falls, so our chances of running into anyone from work were almost nonexistent. “It won’t be anywhere fancy, but I know a diner nearby with one or two fairly private booths.”
“That sounds like heaven. Although I’d eat out of a trash can in an alley to spend some time with you.”
I laughed. “You don’t have to do that, that’s for sure. I’ll call ahead to the diner and see if I can get us a quiet table.”
“They take reservations?”
I shrugged. “I guess they might for Ewin Storm?”
August laughed. “Oh my God! Name-dropper.”
I ducked my head. “Only when the situation warrants it.” I glanced back up and met his eyes. “And spending time with you definitely warrants it.”
His eyes darkened with a hunger that didn’t look as if it would be satisfied by food, and I dialed the diner then shoved the car into drive.
After I finished talking to a waitress at the diner, August’s phone buzzed. I glanced over. “Another gossip site notification?”
He loaded it up. “Yeah, looks like it.”
“What’s it say this time?” I couldn’t keep the curiosity out of my voice. August had said the site usually got things right, but I’d scrolled back through his feed and all of the announcements looked as if they could have been about him. And me, but I was used to a little gossip about me. It was August I cared about and wanted to protect.
“It’s funny such a little town as Cedar Falls has enough gossip to keep a site like that going. Read it to me?” I hoped my innocent tone hid my protective urge.
“Okay.” August cleared his throat. “You know it’s real when you’re meeting the parents. How many of you lucky readers have met the parents? Be careful, babies, I smell commitment in the air,” he intoned with dramatic flair. “Oh… wait…” He screwed up his face as he studied his phone. “That really does sound a bit like…” He glanced behind us.