by Baxter, Cole
"What happened? Tell me," Ruby demanded.
"Nick's dead. Someone killed him." Saying that out loud for the first time brought tears to her eyes, and Mary started to sob uncontrollably.
She couldn't believe this was happening. After everything that happened, after everything they’d been through, good or bad, he was just gone. Just like that.
"Calm yourself. Everything will be all right," Ruby soothed, wrapping her arms around her.
"I can't believe this is happening. He's dead, Ruby," she repeated as though her friend failed to comprehend the first time around.
"I know, I know. It's sad, but look at the bright side. You're a widow now. And that is so much better than being a divorcee. I should know." Ruby tried to make light of the situation.
That only made Mary cry harder.
"Mary, please stop tormenting yourself. Nick wasn't a good man. He doesn't deserve your tears."
"No matter what, he was still my husband for fourteen years." And once upon a time, she really loved him. She couldn't say that they didn't share some lovely memories, especially at the beginning of their marriage. "I can't bear the thought . . ." of him being tortured and killed, she finished in her head.
"What happened is horrible, and at the same time, maybe it's better this way."
Mary couldn't look at things that way. "How can a murder be a good thing, Ruby?" she snapped, on the verge of hysteria. "I can't agree, no matter what."
Ruby sighed. "You're right."
Mary sensed Ruby said that simply to placate her. It was apparent that she was glad Nick was gone, and after what he did to her, Mary couldn't quite blame her.
What put tears in Mary’s eyes was the devastating notion that at some level, she felt the same way. And the guilt was eating her alive. Mary felt relieved he was gone, and that made her question what kind of a person she truly was.
A terrible one. She had another drink before she managed to calm herself a little. They didn't speak much. Ruby simply let Mary cry her eyes out, offering comfort simply by being there for her.
"Mary, do you want to sleep here tonight?" Ruby offered. "It's late and I don't want you walking alone in such a state," she added with concern.
Mary nodded in return. "If you don't mind, I would stay. I really don't want to be alone."
"You're never alone since you have me."
"Thank you, Ruby."
Mary was fortunate to have such a good friend by her side and often thanked the heavens for bringing them together. Ruby prepared the spare bedroom for Mary in record time, and expressing her gratitude once again, she retired. She managed to fell asleep only when exhaustion took over and knocked her out.
Mary stayed with Ruby for the whole week, only going to her apartment when she needed fresh clothes or to pick up her laptop so she could work.
It was very strange when the police called her to let her know she could come and collect the body. At first, she was dumbfounded. Mary quickly recovered after the initial shock, realizing it was natural that they would assume she would be responsible for burying him because Nick had nobody else in this world apart from her with no living parents or other relatives.
That saddened her a little.
That didn't mean she didn't find the whole thing quite bizarre, organizing a funeral for an abusive, estranged husband.
"So don't," was Ruby's comment on the matter.
In the end, Mary cremated his remains and organized a small wake afterward. A true testament to his character was that nobody attended it, Mary included.
"That was precisely what he deserved," Ruby almost gloated as Mary informed her of the details.
"Don't say that."
"You're too kind. I would let him rot someplace and be done with him," she said harshly.
"It was the humane thing to do," Mary countered. Besides, she didn't do that just because of Nick. She did that for her peace of mind as well.
"Do you honestly believe he would have the same consideration toward you?"
"I don't know, nor do I care," Mary replied honestly, ending that conversation.
Mary started to feel really spent as of late, as though breaking at the seams, and she didn't know how to change that. All these events really affected her to the core, making her feel as though she was living in some kind of a daze.
To make things even worse, she had no time to devote to herself and get to the bottom of things. Since she'd started sleeping over at Ruby's, her friend increasingly got more demanding. All of a sudden, she needed help at all hours and for completing the most basic of tasks.
At first, Mary thought Ruby was doing all of that on purpose to keep her mind off Nick and the grief she was feeling. Now, she wasn't so sure.
Either way, fussing over Ruby during the day and in the evenings meant Mary didn't have a moment of free time, and her work had really started to suffer. Mary was forced to get her work done at odd hours and miss her therapy sessions to manage everything. Nevertheless, she was constantly behind schedule and exhausted due to the lack of sleep.
She felt isolated when she needed Dr. Carson the most. It was true that Ruby wanted to be supportive and sympathetic, and she was, but that simply wasn't enough. Mary needed professional help. She was aware of that.
Dr. Carson suggested that they could do a Skype session if she wanted to, yet Mary was reluctant to do such a thing while staying with Ruby.
Precisely on the seventh day of her stay with Ruby, Mary had a nightmare and it was about her friend smothering her.
"Ruby, don't, let me go," Mary begged, yet Ruby only continued to tighten her grip around her.
"You are a true friend," she sing-songed in her usual way.
"Ruby, stop smothering me," Mary screamed from the top of her lungs.
"I will never let you go," Ruby replied in the same manner.
"No!" Mary shouted, finally waking up.
Mary didn't have a chance to recover from that shock since she experienced another one. "Ruby," she exclaimed, rising to a sitting position since the other woman was standing over her in the completely dark room that was only illuminated by the street lamps.
"What are you doing in here?"
"You were crying, so I came here to make sure you were okay," she explained, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Oh," Mary replied lamely, wiping her face, although it felt dry.
Did she watch over me while I slept?
"Did you have a nightmare?" Ruby asked, concerned. "What was it about?"
"I can't remember," she lied, hoping that her uneasiness could be attributed to her still being in shock.
"Well, maybe it's for the better that you don't remember such unpleasantness," Ruby said in a comforting manner.
"Yes."
"Go back to sleep, it's over now." Ruby stood up and started to leave. "Good night, honey."
Mary could have sworn that Ruby was holding something in her hand the whole time, something small and cylindrical.
Probably just a trick of the light, she reassured herself, already freaked out beyond measure. What was she doing in here? Despite everything, Mary didn't completely believe the story Ruby was serving her.
The very next day, Mary made the decision that it was time for her to return home, and not just because she caught Ruby in her room, watching over her. Mary really needed to concentrate on her job or she would lose it. And she couldn't expect to find such a good and understanding boss in the future.
"You're abandoning me," Ruby complained when Mary informed her that she was leaving. Although she was grateful for everything Ruby had done for her during this trying time, she couldn't keep relying on her.
"Hardly," Mary replied.
"How am I to manage without you?" Ruby asked, looking like a petulant child.
"I will continue to visit you every day," Mary reassured her. "And I’ll help you like always. Nothing will change."
"Except it will," she replied stubbornly.
"I have to go home, Ruby," M
ary said on the verge of exasperation.
"But I need you," she cried out, clearly upset.
"And I need to work."
"You can work here."
Mary made a face. "We already tried that, remember?" Mary pointed out.
Ruby was easily bored and always needed to be amused. At times, she resembled a toddler. She kept interrupting Mary, breaking her concentration when she needed it the most.
"I promise not to bother you this time around. I promise."
"You will be fine on your own. I'm just a phone call away," Mary said in return, ignoring her words.
She scowled, clearly not pleased that Mary wasn't budging. "Just one more night?" Ruby tried one last time.
"Ruby," Mary said in a tone that suggested Ruby was acting like a child.
There was no reason for such behavior. Besides, the more Ruby insisted, the more Mary wanted to get away.
"Fine, go!" Ruby snapped. "If my company is such a burden to you, I won't say another word."
"You're not a burden," Mary replied in a calm manner. " I just have to go home to work and go to—" Therapy, she almost said and bit her tongue just in time. Despite her effort, she was certain Ruby knew what she meant to say and wasn't pleased one bit.
Mary was certain they would argue about that as well when Ruby surprised her by saying, "You promise you will visit me every day?"
"Of course," Mary instantly replied, relieved Ruby was calming down. She hated it when they argued. Sadly, Ruby was prone to overreact at times.
"I understand that you have your life to attend to, a life that doesn't include me. It's just that I got used to having you around."
That was when Mary finally saw the root of all problems. Mary wasn't the daughter Ruby lost and couldn't be used as a substitute. So it would be prudent, for Ruby's sake, if Mary pulled away for the time being so they could save their friendship.
A friendship that was very precious to Mary.
"I know,” she replied. "But believe me, this is for the best."
Chapter Nineteen
Every time Mary went to visit Ruby, just like she promised, she would find the other woman in some state of intoxication, which really started to worry her. It was clear that something was troubling her and made her drink excessively. Mary just couldn't fathom what.
Was she grieving for her daughter? Had her health deteriorated? Mary wondered.
When she tried to broach the subject, Ruby got uncharacteristically mean and replied that she drank because of her, and what Nick did to her, and to numb the pain. That hurt a great deal, but Mary rationalized that was the alcohol talking and not her true friend.
All the same, it became apparent right from the start that Ruby was a mean drunk. There were a couple of stages she went through depending on how much alcohol she’d consumed.
At first, she was happy, festive, loud, and quite generous. In that period, she mostly resembled her true self. However, if she continued drinking, she would enter her blues stage, as Mary called it. In those moments she was very melancholic, reminiscing about her glory days as an actress, and she would even start to cry at times. Ruby never lingered there as of late, always needing her glass to be full, and Mary was shocked and saddened at the same time to discover how spiteful and mean Ruby could be.
"Honey, could you be a dear and get me my photo album?"
"Of course." Mary was quick to do her bidding. "Here you go."
"Thank you, honey. You are such a helpful little being. Nick really trained you well."
Her jibes were all subtly done but they hurt, nevertheless.
Mary couldn't quite be cross at her or stop coming since Ruby needed help in the first place because Mary had made a mistake. And a huge one at that.
One day, Mary was running late since she had a million things to do and could only manage to visit her later than usual.
Ruby attacked her from the start. "Thank God you finally decided to have pity on me and visit," Ruby said overdramatically. "I'm starving."
"Why didn't you order something?"
"I have a craving for those noodles you made me yesterday."
"I'll make them for you now."
"Thank you."
Mary immediately went to the kitchen and started preparing her a meal, and Ruby followed her around. "I tried making them on my own and couldn't since my hand has been bothering me all day."
"I'm sorry to hear that. Did you take your medication?" Mary really hoped she didn't since she was drinking. She wasn't an expert, but she knew that much. Drugs and alcohol should not be mixed.
"Nick really did a number on me," Ruby continued as though not hearing Mary's question. "But that's what friends are for." She continued to chat as Mary continued to work, feeling guilty all over again.
When Mary finished cooking, she set everything for Ruby in the living room. "Eat while it's hot."
"Could you please fix me another drink?" Today, she was drinking martinis. "You know how I like them."
"Don't you think you've had enough?" Mary blurted out before she could stop herself. She wished she’d said that with a little more finesse.
"No," Ruby replied curtly. "That's the only joy in life I have left," she spat, raising her voice just a little.
Mary was quite taken aback by that outburst.
"It's not easy being in this constant isolation," she complained.
"Why don't you go out for a walk or something? The weather is really nice for an outdoor adventure." It wasn't as though she’d broken her legs.
"With this thing?" She waved with her injured hand, completely aghast. "While it hurts like hell? I don't think so."
Mary flinched.
"Why don't you invite people over? Have another shindig," Mary suggested.
"I don't feel like it. You're the only person in whose company I enjoy being, at the moment."
"I'm glad."
"We are such good friends. I was there when you needed me, and now you're here for me."
"I just think you should occupy yourself with something. You shouldn't spend so much time alone," Mary said, a bit worried about her friend's mental health.
"If you're so sick of me, just say so," Ruby snapped quite suddenly, making Mary recoil in return.
"Why would you say something like that?" Mary asked, concerned.
"Because of you," she cried. "You're very aloof when you're here. You act as though you don't want to be here at all. It's really hurting my feelings."
Mary was flabbergasted. It was true that she had a great deal on her mind, but she didn't know it was affecting her friendship with Ruby. That was the last thing she wanted in this world.
"I didn't know you were feeling like that. I'm sorry, I . . ."
"I thought we were closer than that. I was there when Nick came to hurt you. I even sacrificed my arm in defending you."
"I know, and I'm grateful."
"You're just saying that."
Mary sat next to Ruby. "I don't understand where all of this is coming from. You're my friend, and I feel really grateful for everything that you've done for me, but that's not the reason we're friends. We're friends because we enjoy each other's company."
Usually, a small part of her felt the need to point out. She immediately banished that thought.
Ruby looked like she didn't fully believe her, and honestly, Mary felt at a loss. How could she show Ruby how much she cared about her? At the same time, if they were truly friends, why would the other woman make her do such a thing in the first place?
She was clearly dealing with her own insecurities. Dr. Carson might be right. They were using one another as some sort of emotional crutch, and that needed to stop.
Despite returning home, Mary still failed to go and see her therapist. It wasn't like she was avoiding the man—at least she thought she wasn't—it was just that there was never enough time.
I will make the time, she promised herself.
"I have to go now. Do you need anything else?" Mary asked o
nce Ruby finished her meal.
"Go? Why? You just got here."
"It's getting late," Mary replied simply.
"There's plenty of time. Stay," Ruby pleaded.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
"If I'm still around here tomorrow. I am quite old, you know."
Mary didn't know how to take her last remark.
One thing became clear, though. Ruby wished to control her. Just like Nick did. She banished that thought. Not like Nick. Mary was certain that was an unconscious need born out of fear since she’d already lost all the people she cared deeply about.
All the same, Mary was very conflicted and couldn't help wondering if she was making all the same mistakes from the past. Or was she simply overreacting, too sensitive at some things after her bad experience with Nick?
Mary still had to come to terms with the fact that he was gone and that the couple would never be able to resolve the issues they had. On the other hand, Ruby was alive and kicking, and Mary concentrated on dealing with that relationship in her life before it was too late.
Feeling a bit desperate, Mary reached out to Shannon again to compare notes, so to speak. In all this madness, she'd completely forgotten about the other woman, although Shannon had sent her a couple of texts.
Calling her now, Mary was relieved when Shannon picked up and agreed to go out with her for a cup of coffee.
"You look . . ."
"Horrible, I know," Mary finished.
"Not the word I would use, but yeah," Shannon replied with a smile. And Mary smiled too. Shannon's candor was one of the things Mary liked about her.
"Well, a lot has happened since we last saw one another," she explained.
"I'll say," Shannon commented.
Once they settled in a coffee shop and ordered, Shannon leaned in, getting more comfortable in her chair, and said, "Tell me everything."
"It's about Ruby," Mary replied, getting straight to the point.
"I guessed as much," Shannon said with a small shrug. "What's the matter?"
"When was the last time you saw her?"
"I don't know, sometime before she broke her hand. Why?"