by Edward Bloor
Uncle Frank never gives her a hard time for hanging out, like he does Hawg and Ironman. Uncle Frank thinks Nina is some kind of super-good, role-model girl. Maybe it's because she wears crosses around her neck. Or because she goes to Lourdes Academy. Or because her father is rich. Anyway, he's very much in favor of Kristin hanging out with her.
Whenever Nina is there, she and Kristin stand at the register and crack on guys mercilessly. They'll smile at a guy when he comes up to pay. Then they'll mutter "loser" and "scumbag" and stuff like that as soon as he turns around. It's pretty funny, if you're not the guy.
Hardly any guys came in tonight, so Nina turned her attention to the shampooing project. Nina asked Kristin, "What's the fat one's name again?"
"Hawg."
"Why do you call him that?"
"Why don't you ask him?"
"Maybe I will." Nina called over the whirring of the shampooer, "Hey, Hawg!"
Hawg stopped dragging the Galactic Defender unit and turned to her. "What?"
"How come they call you that name?"
Hawg looked suspicious. He knew she was putting him on. "What name?"
"That nickname of yours."
"You mean Hawg?"
"Yeah. Other than the fact that, no offense, you kind of look like a pig. Why do they call you that?"
I don't think Hawg took offense. He answered seriously, "You ever hear of the Arkansas Razorbacks? The Razorback Hawgs?"
"No. Never did. What's that, a football team?"
"Yeah. I come from west Georgia, but that's my team. Always has been."
I think Nina would have been satisfied if the explanation had ended there, but it didn't. "A lot of Georgia boys root for the Bulldogs, from the University of Georgia in Athens, but not me."
Nina turned away and looked out into the mall, signaling that the conversation was over. But Hawg wasn't finished. He redirected his attention to Ironman and continued, "I ain't rootin' for no University of Georgia Bulldogs, and I ain't goin' there, either. I'm goin' to Fayetteville, Arkansas, home of the Arkansas Razorbacks."
Kristin actually seemed interested. She asked him, "So what are you doing down here?"
Hawg didn't like that question, even though it was Kristin who had asked it. He didn't look back at her. He looked at Ironman and said, "But first I gotta whomp on some of these sissy Florida boys and make a big name for myself. Then I can get me a football scholarship back up to Fayetteville."
Nina rolled her head and shoulders at Kristin, indicating they should take a walk in the mall. Kristin asked me, "Roberta, will you watch the register?"
I said, "Okay."
They headed out and immediately started to laugh about something, probably Hawg, as he went back to dragging furniture out of the way.
I took my dinner break at eight o'clock. I spotted Betty the Goth's black hair at the Chili Dog, so I cut over to Burger 'n' Fries. An old Greek couple owns the place. They don't speak very good English, but they're really nice. Most of the words that we say to each other are from their menu. I got the cheeseburger basket with a Mountain Dew and carried it to the nearest table without trash on it. But it turned out to be sticky. I checked the other tables around me; they weren't any better.
I sat and watched Leo work on the fountain until Verna the security guard turned into the food court. She saw me and came right over.
"Hello, Roberta. Can I interrupt you for one minute?"
Verna sat across from me. She started to place her hands on the table, thought better of it, and folded them across her chest. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"No."
"That tall boy at Arcane is your cousin, right?"
"Right. My cousin Karl."
"Okay. Now, is there something wrong with Karl?"
I took a bite of my cheeseburger. Then I answered, "He has a hyperactivity disorder, ADHD."
"I see. That disorder, is that where you can't pay attention?"
"Sometimes. And sometimes he can't stop moving and doing stuff. Weird stuff. It's a chemical imbalance. The doctors give him other chemicals, to balance him out."
"Uh-huh. Karl had an incident last year, did he not? Some car windows were broken?"
Yes, ma am.
"And he was sent to an institution of some kind?"
"Yes, ma'am. The Positive Place. It's a behavioral hospital for teenagers."
"I see. Does he ever hang out with those skinheads?"
"No, I don't think so. He might talk to them in the arcade. But I've never seen him with them outside of the arcade."
"Uh-huh. Do you keep any red paint at Arcane? Any red spray paint?"
I thought about the Sony stand, but I told her, "No."
"Now, what about that stocky boy? What's his name?"
"Hawg?"
"Yeah. What's his real name?"
I took another bite and glanced at my watch. Verna was eating up my break. I answered, "I'm not sure."
"So what about him? Does he ever hang out with the skinheads?"
"No. Same as Karl. He might talk to them at Arcane, but that's about it."
"And does he have that chemical imbalance thing?"
"No, I don't think so."
Verna nodded. I took the opportunity to say, "Hey, Verna, why are you asking me all this?"
"I promised Sam I'd ask around a little for him. Maybe find out who's been messing with him."
"Sam from Crescent?"
"Yeah. Somebody messed up the side of his car. They painted a big red Star of David on it."
"That's terrible. That's really creepy. He's such a nice guy."
"He is a nice guy, when nobody's messing with him. Right now he's not feeling too nice." Verna got up. "So if you hear anything about Sam, or about Crescent Electronics, or any of that bad stuff, you let me know."
Verna left. I dumped the rest of my food and hurried back to Arcane. I turned my head to avoid eye contact with Leo and wound up looking right at the deathly white face of Betty the Goth. I cast my eyes down at the floor and walked straight ahead.
I didn't see anybody when I got into Arcane, but I saw that the guys had finished their shampooing project. I followed a set of wet parallel wheel tracks to the back, through the office, and out into the parking lot.
The three guys were at the faucet behind SpecialTees, Slot #33. Hawg and Ironman were dumping the dirty water out of the shampooer while Karl looked on. Hawg was doing all the talking. I gathered from what I heard that he had been called down to guidance for RDT, random drug testing, that morning. He looked over at me, then continued, "Ain't nothin' to it, Ironman. You wait in line there, and that fat lady—what's her name, Roberta?"
"Mrs. Biddulph."
"Yeah, Mrs. Bit-off, she hands you a cup with your name on it and a screw-top lid. She sends you into the toilet to do your business, then you give it back to her. They've already tested most of the football team."
Ironman was grinning. Karl was just staring off into space. I thought to myself, I know these guys. These guys wouldn't do anything bad. Not the kind of stuff that Verna was talking about.
I went back out to the front and joined Nina and Kristin near the Crusader experience. My dad was standing inside the circle, gearing himself up to use it. Soon he was thrashing the air with the wand and whooping, just like a teenager. Nina and Kristin exchanged a look, like What's wrong with this guy?
We all watched Dad for a little bit, then Nina asked me, "So, Roberta, what guy do you like?"
I said, "Me? I don't know."
Nina looked at Kristin. "It's that Sam guy, isn't it?"
"I told you, I don't know."
"You mean, you don't know because you don't have those kinds of feelings? Like, you don't have any hormones?"
"No, I mean I don't know because I don't know. I have as many hormones as anybody else."
"Then tell me some guy you like. Some movie star or somebody who gets your hormones moving."
Kristin, as usual, moved to rescue me. "Drop it, Nina."
>
But I wanted to answer for myself. I pointed my right arm straight ahead, and told her, "Him. I have feelings for him."
Nina was appalled. "Not your father!"
"No. No, next to him. The Crusader. That's who I have feelings for."
Kristin agreed. "Good choice. He's hot."
Nina asked, "You're talking about the statue?"
Kristin continued, "He's tall. He's strong. He's a man of war, but he's a man of God, too."
I added, "And he has blue eyes."
Nina said, "I don't like blue eyes. A lot of psycho killers have blue eyes."
Dad's two minutes were over. As he was taking off his helmet we all heard Suzie yell to him from the rotunda, "Oh, my god! What are you doing?"
Dad laughed happily and pointed at the Crusader legend. "What's it look like I'm doing? I'm killing—I don't know what I'm killing. Turks or something." Dad stepped down from the platform. For some reason he called over to me, "Honey, you really ought to try this."
I shook my head. "No, thanks."
Suzie came up and took my arm in hers, but she spoke to Dad. "You nut! You'll break a leg. Won't he, Roberta?"
That reminded me of something, something I hadn't thought of in a long time. I told her, "It wouldn't be the first time."
"Oh? Do tell. Spill it."
"Dad did break his leg. I remember him on crutches."
Dad interrupted, "Yeah, that's right. I broke it at the beach. The surf was up."
Suzie looked at me. "He is a big kid, isn't he?" Then, apparently, Suzie remembered something, too. She broke away, spun around, and directed two of her long red nails at Nina and Kristin, like the prongs of a fork. "I want to talk to you two about an idea I had. You always look so gorgeous, and I think, We have our own supermodels right here at the West End Mall. Why not use them?"
Nina looked genuinely interested. Suzie continued, "I'm looking for girls to model for the new Fall in the Mall promotion. We have a little money to give you—fifty dollars for two hours. You can borrow any outfit from any store in the mall to wear. What do you say? It'll be a chance to see what real modeling is all about."
Nina didn't hesitate. She said, "That sounds great to me. I'm there."
Suzie continued, with rising enthusiasm, "We did this at my last mall and it was a lot of fun. The models get up in the windows of the stores. People don't know they're real, you know? And they freak when they find out!"
Kristin wasn't so sure. She asked, "So, you mean, there's glass between us and the people staring at us."
"Yes."
Kristin said to Nina, "Okay. That might not be so bad."
Nina replied, "That would be great! Everybody would come to see us."
Suddenly, for some reason, Kristin asked, "What about Roberta?"
Suzie squirmed uncomfortably, trying to think of what to say. But then she got an idea and smiled brightly. "Yes, of course. There is a part that would be right for you, Roberta."
Kristin looked at me. "There you go!"
Suzie added, "If you wouldn't mind doing a little acting."
I was in shock. I would mind. I definitely would mind.
Kristin smiled at me. "Did you hear that, cuz? You're in."
"I don't want to be in."
"Come on. It'll be fun. And it'll be fifty bucks."
"I don't want to stand like a dummy in a store window."
Nina bristled. "I'm not standing like a dummy. I'm posing like a supermodel."
Kristin gestured toward Nina and said to me, "There you go. Do you hear that?"
"But I'm no model. I don't want to be a model."
"All right. So don't be a model," Kristin challenged me. "Be a reporter. An investigative reporter. You know? You're going undercover to explore the glamorous world of the supermodels."
Nina smiled. "Yeah, I like the sound of that."
Suzie took Dad by the arm. "Great. Then we're all set. You girls go pick your outfits. Try the Gap. You can tell them I sent you. Then report to me at eleven on Saturday." She started to tug Dad toward the food court. "Come on. I came to steal you away for a cappuccino."
Kristin and Nina started yakking about the modeling. I started feeling sick about it. I walked off by myself, sat down on the Crusader platform, and waited for customers.
A few of the regulars showed up. So did a group I had seen once or twice before. They were four guys from Saint Francis Xavier Prep, the brother school to Lourdes Academy. It's for the rich Catholic boys. The group followed Kristin and Nina to the counter and stood there with them for about an hour.
The Head Louse came by, too. He checked out the Crusader in the mallway and came in to read its legend. Then I watched him glance at the counter two or three times, seeing if he could get Kristin's attention. He couldn't. He finally gave up and looked over at me.
I said, "Can I help you?"
The Head Louse had done hundreds of Arcane experiences in the past month, so he didn't need much help. He hopped up onto the platform and put on the helmet as I clicked the plastic circle closed around him.
The Head Louse had very strong arms, and he moved well. He reacted to the sights and sounds inside the helmet with quick and precise movements of the wand, smacking it against the black surface of the circle. His mouth never made a sound. When his two minutes were up, he tossed down the wand and removed the helmet. He looked at me and said, "Not bad."
I let him out of the circle and handed him his ticket. He took another glance at the counter, saw that the Xavier boys were still there, and said, "Can I just pay you?"
I said, "Sure."
Then he added, "Where are Karl and Hawg?"
"They're out back. They're cleaning out the rug shampooer."
"Oh. They're here tonight, though?"
"Yeah."
"They're here until closing time?"
I hesitated. I thought about all of Verna's questions in the food court and said, "Why? Why do you want to know?"
"No reason. 1 just wanted to say hey." He handed me a five-dollar bill and said, "You keep the change. I wouldn't want to interrupt all that hard work going on at the cash register." He smiled weirdly. He walked out into the mallway and turned toward the food court.
Dad and Suzie returned at about eight-forty-five. They each had a soft-swirl ice-cream cone. I didn't want to watch them carrying on, so I walked into the back room.
Ironman was seated at Uncle Frank's desk. He was hunched over and shivering. Hawg was standing over him, rubbing his back vigorously. He said, "Hey, come on, Ironman. We was just messin' around. We weren't gonna leave you in there. Honest. Were we, Karl?"
Karl just stared.
I said, "What's going on? What did you do?"
Hawg answered, "Hey, we had worked up a big ol' sweat. We went to cool off in the trash trailer. Ironman just decided to stay a little overtime."
Karl looked at me creepily. "He decided to stay in there in the dark."
Ironman managed to blurt out, "No, I didn't. You wouldn't let me out."
Karl answered, "That door doesn't lock."
Ironman bleated, "You were holding it!"
Karl looked at me and explained, "No way."
Hawg shook him by the shoulders. "We was just horsin' around, buddy. We was just holdin' it for a minute. Of course we was gonna let you out."
I said, "You'd better not let Uncle Frank hear about this."
Karl shot me an angry look. "He's not gonna find out, though. Is he, cuz?"
"He's not going to find out from me, but I don't know who else saw you out there. Mr. Lombardo? Verna? Mrs. Royce?"
Karl's eyes clouded over with worry.
Kristin came through the door. She asked Karl, "Where's that rug shampooer?"
Karl's face was now a blank wall. Then his head snapped up and he blurted out, "It's outside. It's out back."
Kristin looked him in the eyes. "Karl? You left it outside?"
Karl was thinking as hard as he could. He said, "Just to dry out. That's all. We r
insed it out with the hose." He turned and darted through the door. Kristin called after him, "It had better still be there."
It was.
The five of us went through the closing checklist. Ironman had a long sneezing fit, ten sneezes at least. Then he reverted to his old self, trailing along after Hawg. He seemed to forgive Hawg and Karl completely. But I found myself thinking harder about them.
At 9:10 I was standing next to Suzie in the mallway while Dad put the cash drawer in the safe. I took the opportunity to say, "Leo asked me to tell you that the fountain won't work because the parts are too old, and also that it wasn't working ten years ago when they shut it down."
Suzie smiled. "That's Leo, isn't it? You ask him to put in a lightbulb, and he'll give you twenty reasons why it can't be done. The county has already inspected that plumbing. It works fine." She touched my arm. "But thank you for telling me, sweetie. If he doesn't have the fountain going by tomorrow, I will call somebody else in. We have to make sure everything is right for Mr. Lyons's visit."
Dad locked the sliding-glass doors. Kristin took Karl home in the Volkswagen. I guessed Dad had offered Hawg and Ironman a ride, because they stayed with us all the way to the car and hopped into the back.
Suzie got into her little Miata and drove away. After we dropped the guys off, Dad looked over at me and said, "Suzie's coming over. Okay?"
"Okay."
"First she's gonna stop at Taco Bell and get our dinner. It's Mexican night at Sawgrass Estates."
Suzie's Miata was already in our carport when we got home, so we pulled in behind her. Once we got inside she and Dad pulled out the blender to make margaritas.
I checked inside the Taco Bell bag. Suzie had gotten me my usual, a Mexican pizza. I took it into the living room, sat on the couch, and clicked on the local news. A weather girl announced that there was a thirty-percent chance of rain tomorrow.
Dad and Suzie never came in to join me. They sat in the kitchen and drank their margaritas, laughing at stuff that I couldn't hear. At eleven-thirty I clicked the TV off, muttered, "Good night" in their direction, and went into my room. My Sneetches book was on the dresser. I tossed it onto the bed. Then I searched in my closet until I found an old box of stuff. I reached in, felt around, and pulled out another book. It was The Cat in the Hat, another early favorite. I pressed it against The Sneetches, making a kind of Dr. Seuss sandwich. I turned off the light, lay on the bed, and clutched the books to my chest, like a hard, flat teddy bear.