* * *
Fourth block went by quickly. The first few weeks in any high school physics class served primarily to get the students’ feet wet. This early in the year they were still in the beginning chapters of Newtonian mechanics, laying the groundwork, so to speak.
Mrs. Flore’s AP kids were fun to teach, and the homework questions had been relatively simple. Chloe had successfully helped MacKenna, a junior who was very eager to learn, have a breakthrough about the interchangeability of the different equations depending on what the question was asking. She had gone out on a limb too. Deciding that the video they were scheduled to watch was old and boring, she had flipped on the projector and played a few episodes of Cosmos with Neil deGrasse Tyson. They were a total hit with the students, and Chloe loved watching them herself, so it was a win-win. The kids still learned about the universe so the main goal of the exercise was accomplished. She hoped Mrs. Flore wouldn’t be terribly upset.
When final announcements came on the PA system and students were dismissed, Chloe was shocked that the day was already finished. Unsure about the procedure for her to lock up and whatnot, she grabbed her lunch and courier bag, turned out the lights, and headed in the direction of the main office. Most of the kids were either on the buses, heading for their cars, or in their after-school period, so the halls were nearly empty again as she passed through them. The main office was a flurry of activity, however, with teachers and students milling about finishing up various tasks. Chloe was greeted by Maryanne.
“How can I help you, Ms. Amden?” Despite the torrent of activity around her, the secretary remained unruffled.
“I wasn’t sure if I needed to sign out before I leave. I turned out the lights and locked the door of the classroom.”
“Typically, that would be all I would need from you, but I talked with Mrs. Flore’s daughter and we’re in need of a substitute tomorrow as well as the whole of next week. Mrs. Flore has been hospitalized with pneumonia.” Shaking her head, whether for Mrs. Flore’s health troubles or her own scheduling woes Chloe wasn’t quite sure, most likely a little of both, Maryanne continued, “Are you at all interested or available for any of those days? Don’t feel obligated, but I wanted to offer the time to you first as you’ve already helped us out today. Whatever you are not interested in I will offer to the other substitutes.”
Caught off guard by the unexpected offer, Chloe gathered her thoughts.
“I would love to cover the entire time. Can I call my supervisor at my other job to double-check that he is all set without me? I can do that right now,” she offered, confident that Jacob would tell her not to worry about the Boatery.
“No, no, that’s all right. I’ll put you down for tomorrow and you can let me know then about next week. Even if you can’t take the whole week that gives me plenty of time to start calling the list.” Flashing a polite smile, Maryanne nodded slightly, then returned to her computer, effectively ending the conversation. Everything the woman lacked in pleasantries, she made up for in efficiency.
Outside, the sky was clear and inviting, the rest of the afternoon teeming with possibilities. Invigorated from her first successful day as a substitute, Chloe felt tentatively optimistic. Heading to her Jeep with a lot more confidence than when she had come in this morning, she set off for the Boatery to decompress with Jacob for a while. Later she would come back to the school for a bit of pickup basketball. Finishing her evening playing with Taylor and whoever else she wrangled into participating was one of the most exciting evenings she had scheduled since arriving in Boothbay. She could hardly wait.
* * *
As she had expected, Jacob was thrilled that she was going to get a week of exposure to what he called “the unseen world of molding young minds.” He told her not to worry about the schedule. Andrew was coming in every day next week, and fall was a fairly slow season until people began to rent winter gear.
They chatted about Taylor, the school, and how her classes had been manageable. Jacob smiled when Chloe spoke excitedly about her plans for the coming week. She was sure that she might get a little leeway in what to do with the classes since it wasn’t likely Mrs. Flore had drawn up plans while in the hospital. If nothing else, she hoped to teach a bit of actual content, following Mrs. Flore’s original lesson plan. Checking her watch finally, Chloe realized she only had a half an hour until she was supposed to be at the gym to play.
“Shit, Jacob, I have to go change and get to the gym. Taylor, the phys ed teacher, asked me to join them tonight to play some pickup games!”
“By all means, change in the back!” Jacob shooed her away. “Go forth and prosper! I’ll see you for your shift Saturday!” he called after her as she raced to the changing room.
* * *
Chloe could barely believe her luck. Her first day of substitute teaching was over and now she was going to play basketball with a group of former college players. Her excitement about the prospect eclipsed any anxiety she might have had about walking into a gym full of strangers. Putting her Jeep in park, she spotted two women heading to the gym, one taller, the other resembling a springy little guard. She slid out of the car and briskly walked inside behind them.
The bleacher nearest the door had been pulled out so that the bottommost row of seats was available for the group to sit on. Strewn along its length were five women. The only one Chloe recognized was Taylor. Walking toward the group, she tapped Taylor’s arm to interrupt the impassioned story she was telling the brunette next to her. Taylor jumped to her feet and hugged her, then turned to address the other players.
“Everybody, this is Chloe Amden. She subbed at Wiscasset today and lost to me at PIG.”
“If you call being up P to P-I losing I guess I did then,” Chloe said, shrugging. At that, the tall woman she had followed into the gym piped up.
“Don’t worry. We all know better than to believe everything she says. I’m Stacey, by the way. I teach at Boothbay.”
“Nice to meet you,” Chloe replied, instantly liking the tall woman with soft brown eyes.
Taylor began to introduce her to the remaining players, Anna, Robin, and Jaysa. Anna was a stocky power forward who had played Division III ball in Vermont. She had a round face you couldn’t help but trust. Robin had attended LeMoyne in Syracuse, a strong Division II school. Her dirty blond hair was pulled tightly back, and she gave off an aura of laser-sharp focus. Chloe had a feeling she would be very good.
Jaysa introduced herself, offering a confident hand. Her hair, haphazardly thrown up in a loose ponytail, was several shades darker than her olive skin. She was easily the shortest player, but she had that springy carriage distinctive of raw athleticism.
“Call me J, everyone does. And don’t underestimate me because I’m the shortest. I can outjump all of these fools. I played in upstate New York and I’m a CPA in Wiscasset.” Her bouncy energy was contagious.
Chloe found herself more excited than nervous to get out there and play. During the introductions, Taylor and Stacey had gone out to warm up and the women Chloe met had finished stretching. Chloe rushed to remove her chukkas and get her sneakers laced up. She was tempted to skip stretching, but the thought of moving tomorrow after no warm-up slowed her down enough to get a quick round of stretches in. Holding onto the bleacher, she began her routine, watching the women shoot for teams. This was going to be some pretty solid basketball. She smiled to herself, feeling utterly content. Let’s see what you’ve got.
* * *
“Do you ever miss?” Taylor yelled at Chloe from the baseline.
“It has happened before…” Chloe raised her eyebrows at Taylor as she walked over to her. She’d ended the last game by draining a three. They’d traded buckets the whole way, neither team able to pull away. She, Robin, and Anna had beaten Taylor, Stacey, and J.
“I’ll be guarding you next week to make sure it happens again.” Taylor laughed and purposely bumped into Chloe as they walked toward the bench.
“Congrats on makin
g it through the gauntlet,” Stacey joked. “You can come back every week. Today was also your first day as a substitute, right? How was it?” Chloe was surprised at Stacey’s genuine interest.
“Honestly, it was really great. The kids were all pretty responsive and respectful. They asked me to come back tomorrow and next week. I couldn’t have gotten much luckier.” Chloe couldn’t possibly explain how completely that statement applied to this entire surreal experience, from subbing to meeting Taylor and joining this group to play basketball.
Jaysa called out in an impressed voice, “Jesus, I don’t know how you handle kids. I couldn’t do it and I love math. Maybe I love it so much because none of the numbers I crunch can roll their eyes at me.”
“That or the fact that none of them are taller than you,” Robin quipped. The group burst into laughter at the glare Jaysa shot Robin as she simultaneously flipped her the bird. In that moment, Chloe realized no matter what happened with her job search, she had found an incredible new outlet for alleviating her stress and she couldn’t be happier.
Chapter Four
Friday
Almost before Chloe knew it, her first full week of substituting was coming to a close. She couldn’t believe it. Her classes had gone almost too smoothly to be believed. That didn’t mean, however, that she didn’t desperately need the weekend to recover. Teaching was invigorating, but it was also challenging and flat-out exhausting. She had made it to her second block free period, with only study hall and her favorite AP class between her and the weekend. Thankfully she only had a few things she wanted to get done this block, so she allowed her thoughts to wander.
In addition to subbing, she had come to two more open gym sessions, each one more fun than the last. Taylor had turned out to be one of the funniest and most warm-hearted people Chloe had ever met. She reminded her of an older, slightly more level-headed version of Hannah. Initially they had bonded over basketball, but while they often discussed her team and sports in general, they had found so many other similarities there was never a shortage of conversational topics. As she had discovered when Taylor had invited her to join her, her girlfriend Anne, and the rest of the open gym gang for dinner after the game last night. When Taylor had asked her to join them, she had made a point of extending the invitation to “anyone special” in Chloe’s life. Chloe had chuckled at the obvious attempt to fish out confirmation of her sexuality. She told Taylor that she didn’t currently have a girlfriend, but she would love to find a special lady to bring to dinners eventually. Taylor was elated at the news.
Though she hadn’t met Anne before, Chloe recognized her immediately when she joined the group at the restaurant. She was every bit as beautiful as Taylor had said. She had an easy way about her that Chloe instantly liked.
“Chloe?” Anne stood up and spread her arms wide for a hug. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Taylor comes home lamenting how you beat her up at pickup, then she forgives you because you’re willing to listen to her at lunch.” Anne released Chloe from her hug and returned to her seat next to Taylor.
The group was small, only Taylor, Anne, Stacey, Chloe, and Madeleine. Chloe was content to relax and listen as the teachers swapped stories across school districts. Stacey’s principal, it seemed, was as different as humanly possible from Mark Dorman, the well-respected principal at Wiscasset.
It was interesting seeing different facets of Madeleine’s personality as well. The easy smile she was wearing tonight was the most relaxed one she had seen on her face. She had piqued Chloe’s interest since they first met, and their brief conversations at lunch hadn’t provided as much opportunity as she’d have liked to get to know her. The study hall they monitored together didn’t offer a lot of opportunity for conversation either. She clearly had an impressive intellect. She was also clearly not only a coach but an athlete; her carriage bore the unmistakable poise and strength of athleticism. She was an enigma.
When the conversation shifted to the students and how the year was progressing, Taylor had offered an opinion that livened things up a bit.
“See, I like the standards we have for physical education. I still have the freedom to evaluate the kids individually. And the standards are pretty comprehensive. There are some that are bullshit, but I can’t complain too much. It’s not like what you classroom people have to deal with.”
Stacey and Madeleine were nodding in agreement with Taylor, on board with her opinions on assessment for the moment. Seeing Taylor nudge Anne’s arm, Chloe suspected that wasn’t going to last. She winced at what she said next.
“After all—showing kids how to fill in little bubbles has to be stressful.”
If anyone other than Taylor had delivered that line straight-faced, Chloe knew, Stacey and Madeleine might have suffered simultaneous aneurysms. As it was, their response was tempered, but it was clear from their faces that there was no way they were going to allow Taylor to poke the bear and not get any blowback.
Stacey inclined her head to Madeleine, ceding to her the opportunity for rebuttal.
“Taylor, I love you to death and I know that you’re stirring the pot, but you do realize every time you say that a piece of my soul dies?” Madeleine tilted her head slightly, raising one eyebrow with the same intense look Chloe had seen her use to silence quite a few students in their study hall.
Taylor paused, clearly debating whether to goad Madeleine further. Madeleine spared her the decision and continued.
“You have the freedom in phys ed to build relationships and tailor your curriculum to what you imagine to be the most successful course. That’s a luxury we lowly classroom teachers are not afforded. And it robs us of our ability to be as effective as we can be.” Madeleine’s strong hands gestured around the table to emphasize her point, and Chloe sat, her focus locked on Madeleine.
“Think about it. I guarantee each of us here tonight had at least one monumentally impactful teacher in our education, someone who irrevocably shaped who we became as people, as educators, and as thinkers. That, in essence, is what teachers do. They’re charged with molding the potential of our youth. Or they should be. Instead it’s like all we’re doing is scrambling to get our students to pass, measured by arbitrary standards. What happened to learning, growing, thriving even? Do we really think that it is humanly possible to standardize the nuances of English literature? We expect a test to evaluate the human experience?”
Madeleine drew breath, glancing around the table quickly. Recognizing that she needn’t convince this group, she turned to Taylor and added quickly, “At least they can’t completely cheapen everything you love about phys ed.”
It was impossible not to be moved by what she said. The cadence of her speech was eloquent even in frustration and her eyes shone brightly in the shadowy lighting of the restaurant. Chloe knew even from her limited experience that teachers like Madeleine were essential and all too rare. The system seemed designed to smother them until their fire was extinguished.
As she studied Madeleine’s face, Chloe saw it suddenly shift, her features reassembling into a wry smile. “If Chloe never comes out with us again after that,” she said, “I want it known that Taylor started this!”
“Are you kidding me? How could I stay away?” Chloe asked when she was finally able to speak. “It was inspiring to hear how you talk about teachers. The ego boost wasn’t bad either.”
Taylor’s comeback was tinged with sarcasm, “Oh God, she’s been won over. A little flattery and she’s toast. But it’s funny, I didn’t hear her mention science anywhere in that rant.”
“She didn’t have to,” Chloe said. “Our job as teachers is to cultivate the best in our students and engage them. It doesn’t matter the discipline. Knowledge and understanding permeate them all. I couldn’t agree with her more. Then again I did go to a liberal arts school…” As Chloe left that thought hanging, Madeleine didn’t need to say a word; her expression told Chloe they were in complete agreement.
“Nope,” Taylor interjecte
d. “Definitely not. We are not waxing poetic about the liberal arts tonight. You two can find some other time to read poetry and study astrology together, some time when I’m not around.” The table had dissolved into laughter at that, eventually returning to lighter subjects.
* * *
Thinking about last night’s conversations brought an involuntary grin to Chloe’s lips. Thanks to Taylor and Wiscasset’s need for a substitute teacher, she was not only surrounded by incredible women but also actually teaching a subject she loved. Both her professional and personal life were in sync so far. It felt odd after having them clash for what felt like an eternity at UMass. Teaching high school juniors and seniors had never before been enticing, but the students were fun and she hoped she was beginning to make a difference.
On Tuesday, during her AP class, Leah, one of her most promising and quietest students, had, with a little prodding from Chloe, gone to the board to walk the rest of the class through one of the more complicated problems. A junior, she was one of only three girls in a class dominated by boys, but she and her soccer teammate Molly, the lone senior girl, appeared to be fully capable of handling the nonsense of high school boys. Emma was another story. Though she had volunteered to answer confidently at the outset, this past week she had lost her self-assurance. Chloe couldn’t pinpoint what had happened, but she wanted the chance to figure it out. Emma had the makings of a solid scientist; Chloe wanted that for her. Hopefully today she could get Emma to lead the class and build that confidence back up.
She pulled her thoughts back to the present, getting excited for her fourth-block session, especially the group review activity she had planned to follow the lecture. It was a problem-solving ladder, a series of problems that required a student to use the previous student’s answer to solve the next problem. She would split the students into teams and after the winning team reached a solution, they would go through the entire series as a class. The winners would get two bonus points on the quiz. It was helpful to spice up the Newtonian equation-solving they were doing so the kids wouldn’t get too bored and, as a result, sloppy.
Breaking Even Page 5