by Tamie Dearen
The train arrived at the Jungfraujoch, the highest train station in Europe. After enjoying the amazing views and hot food, they walked through a long tunnel carved in the glacier to reach a large hall with several chambers and small connecting passages. Everything was made of ice—the floor, ceiling, walls, and arches. Everywhere were magnificent ice figurines of birds and animals, so intricately carved they were almost life-like. The lights cascaded through the ice and reflected from the shiny surfaces. Some sculptures were enhanced with colored lights, as well.
Anne studied every carving, while Gherring studied Anne.
“Why aren’t you looking at the ice sculptures?” she asked. “Are you bored?”
“No. But it’s more fun to watch you. I’ve seen it all before, but now I can see it through your eyes.”
This was her chance to help him see the value of getting married and having a family. “That’s exactly what it’s like when you have kids. And you know, it’s not too late for that. You could still have a family.”
He lifted his head, gazing at the ice ceiling. “You and Gram are way too much alike.”
“Too bad it’s November,” Gherring said as they changed trains at Lauterbrunnen. “We could stop here and go see Trammel Falls, but they close at the end of October. In the summer, we could hike through Lauterbrunnen Valley. It’s about a three-hour hike and there’re seventy-two waterfalls. And if it was January, we could go stay in Wengen and go skiing—it’s such a beautiful place to ski. There’s this great little bakery you can stop at on your way back from a day of skiing.” He heaved a big breath. “I’ve got to bring you back.”
“Since everyone here thinks I’m in the CMA department, I guess I’d have an excuse. That is, if you ever had to come over here for business again.”
He frowned. “I could bring you here—”
Her phone trilled, interrupting his sentence. “Oh no, it’s Henri.” She took the call with trembling fingers, while Gherring moved to allow her some privacy. “Henri? Hi did you hear something?”
Anne could hear him trying to catch his breath. “They have to do a biopsy to confirm, but they say it is most likely cancer.” Henri was choking back tears.
“Oh no, Henri. I’m so sorry. She’s so young.” Her own tears were falling freely. “What… what does this mean? What will they do for her?”
“I do not know yet. They said… They said possible amputation.” Henri’s voice cracked. “And we would be upset about that, but they talked about better survival rates… and we can’t lose her! I can’t lose her!” He sobbed now, and Anne cried with him. “I… you will still pray?”
“Yes, of course I’ll pray for her.”
“The biopsy is tomorrow. They could schedule surgery before you come, or while you are here. I… My sister is calling me. I have to go. Please pray.”
Anne disconnected and sat staring at her phone with tears streaming down her face.
“Anne?” His voice was tender as he sat beside her. He opened his arms, and she fell against him, crying as he held her, gently rubbing her arm. He didn’t complain when his shirt was wet with her tears, but pulled her closer and tucked her head against his chest.
He didn’t ask her any questions, but when her tears began to diminish, the story of the little girl she’d never met spilled out from her broken heart. The sweet Anna-Laure who’d just gotten a pony for her seventh birthday. The uncle who loved her like a father. The terror of the word—cancer.
And still he held her. Silent. Listening. His presence somehow soothing her aching soul. She began to cry again, because it felt so good to be held. But she knew it was an empty promise. He held her because that was the kind of man he was. He would do the same for any woman in distress. It didn’t mean anything. For a moment, she imagined how it would be if he loved her. And then she cried for herself, for the woman who’d stood alone for fifteen years with no one to hold her.
Anne was still feeling glum when they departed the train at Interlaken, but she didn’t want to ruin the trip for Mr. Gherring. He seemed content to stroll the streets and go into the shops. Her mood began to brighten as she shopped for presents. She found an entire store devoted to music boxes, and chose two small ones for Emily and Charlotte. The decorative boxes fascinated her with exposed mechanisms that played intricate tunes and harmonies.
One store displayed alphorns, and the merchant let her blow on one. She was thrilled when she finally produced a semblance of a horn sound. Gherring snapped a picture of her face as she strained to play the cumbersome instrument. She found a shop devoted to Swiss Army knives, and purchased a small one for her father.
When the stores closed, Gherring took her to Restaurant Benacus, where he ordered a seven-course tasting meal for each of them. Despite her protests to the contrary, she managed to eat a significant portion of each sampling. She declared this to be the best food so far!
Back on the train, she struggled to stay awake for the hour-long trip back to Bern. But she finally succumbed to exhaustion, physical and emotional, and fell asleep leaning against the window. When she awoke, she was somehow oriented the other direction, with her head against Steven’s side. She sat up abruptly, apologizing under her breath.
“You’re not that heavy.” He stretched, a wince belying his words.
“Why are we leaving so early?” Anne grumbled as they boarded the jet at five a.m.
“You’ll be glad tomorrow. The jet lag is much worse going back because we lose six hours. This’ll help you go to sleep at a normal time tonight.”
“No it won’t, because I’m going right back to sleep.”
“No, you’re not, because I’m not going to let you.”
“Ha! You can try.” She pulled the lever to lean her seat back.
“We have things to discuss—like how we’re going to handle your transition.”
“What transition?”
“Your transition to CMA. The problem is I still need a PA.”
“You’re moving me? To Contract, Merger and Acquisition? I thought that was just a ploy.”
“No, you’ve already proven yourself. And we’ll need you to work with these companies in the months ahead, now you’ve established a working relationship.”
“But I don’t have any business education. No one in that department would have any respect for me.”
“Yes. I’ve been thinking, you might want to take some night courses. Gherring Inc. would pay for them.”
“Wait! Just stop for a second and let me think. This is a bit too much all at one time.” She put her head in her hands, rubbing her forehead.
“And I’ll have to get another PA. We can probably still get the candidate I planned to hire before you arrived and shook things up. I think her name was Lana Stewart. Don’t you want this? You’ll get a raise, of course.”
“I… I just need to think…”
“You’ve got six hours to think. Are you awake now?”
“Oh yeah. I’m awake for sure.”
Anne’s heart was contracting in her chest. Was this a promotion? She guessed so, but maybe it was simply his way of getting rid of her. In the CMA department, she’d hardly ever see him. She couldn’t turn this down—it was the opportunity of a lifetime. He’d even offered to pay for further education. She could eventually get her MBA. Her dad had always been a little disappointed she hadn’t used her degree. He’d told her, “You were made for great things!” But she’d felt fulfilled just raising her children. And now her children didn’t need her anymore…
Wasn’t this what she really wanted? A chance to be challenged? A chance to be more than just a secretary? Why wasn’t she thrilled? She knew the answer. She’d looked forward to seeing Steven Gherring each day, even when they didn’t interact a lot. Now, after spending so much time with him, she realized how much she was going to miss him. She felt desolate already.
The plane’s engines droned, and her head hurt. Maybe it was from lack of sleep, or maybe it was from worrying about his plans to m
ove her to a new job in a new department. But whatever the reason, it hurt so much she couldn’t think anymore.
She glanced at Gherring, who was reading a newspaper. “Do you have anything for a headache? Ibuprofen? Aspirin?”
Gherring’s eyebrows knit together. “Sure. Is it a migraine?” He didn’t wait for an answer, but started for the back of the plane and returned quickly with two ibuprofens and a bottle of water.
“So, how bad is it?”
“It’s not a migraine. I think it’s just a tension headache.”
He sat down next to her. “Okay, call me crazy, but you don’t seem too happy about this promotion. What’s going on?”
What could she say to him? I just want to be your PA so I can stay close to you? Ha! That would go over like a lead balloon. She could never let him know. He would send her farther away than the CMA department.
It was probably an answer to prayer. If she continued as his PA, she might actually fall in love with him. Think how miserable she would be then.
But her feelings were still hurt that he’d so readily sent her away. She couldn’t blame him, though. Especially since she was in a relationship with his nemesis. What did she expect?
“Anne? What’s wrong?”
“How soon would we make the switch?”
“It depends on how soon I can find a replacement for you. And how soon you can get him or her trained.”
He covered her hand with his, and her skin sizzled. “Personality and integrity are key for this position. Everything else can be taught.” His expression grew earnest. She ought to be flattered. “The people in Bern loved you, Anne. You can’t believe how many people told me they want to work with you in the future. So why aren’t you happy? Are you nervous? Because I know you’ll do a great job. I’m never wrong about these things.”
What could she say? How could she explain to him why she wasn’t thrilled? She couldn’t even explain it to herself. She thought of a practical question. “Who’d be training me?”
“I thought maybe Shanna Matheson might take you under her wing. She’ll be back from maternity leave in December. Jared’s a little green or I’d pair you with him. Would you rather have someone else?”
“You do realize I don’t know anything except the stuff I learned in one day? Just the stuff I needed to understand how to prepare Jeff’s presentation? I don’t really understand all the different concepts.”
“What impressed me was not your understanding of the concepts, but how easily and quickly you managed to grasp those ideas. Some people study for years to learn what you picked up in a few hours.”
“Oh… Okay.”
He frowned. “Usually people respond more positively to my praise.” He bent his head toward her. “What gives?”
“I… I don’t know. I’m really honored and flattered… I mean… thanks, I’ll do my best. I’ll try to get my replacement trained quickly.” She bit her lip.
“Are you afraid? Is it too much responsibility?”
“No… maybe… Yes, I guess that’s it.” She peered into his eyes. “What if I can’t do it? And then…” She looked back down. “And then you’ll already have a new PA already. and I won’t have a job.”
One side of his mouth quirked upward. “I guess we could wait to get your replacement.”
“Really?”
“You don’t have to take the promotion at all if you really don’t want it.”
“You mean you’d let me stay if I wanted to?”
He looked up at the ceiling and blinked his eyes. “I really don’t understand you at all.” Then his eyes locked with hers. “Is that what you want?”
“No, I think I want the job. But… well… it seemed like you might want…” She finally blinked and looked away. “You seem to want a different PA.”
“So you do want the job? But you don’t want me to get a new PA? I’m so confused—”
“Ha! You think you’re confused!” She wanted the new job, but she didn’t want to quit her old one. And she wanted him to offer her the promotion, but she wanted him to be at least a little sad about it. He just seemed too happy about replacing her—like he wouldn’t miss her at all. But of course he wouldn’t miss her, not like she would miss him. And she needed to stop thinking like that so she could help Gram find him a wife.
“Ms. Best?” his deep intense voice compelled her attention.
“Yes, Mr. Gherring?”
“What would make you happy? What job would you really like at Gherring Inc.?”
“Honestly? Mr. Gherring—you are Gherring Inc. Right now I help you with everything you do. Aren’t I more valuable as your assistant than I would be in CMA?”
“I don’t know. You’ve done quite a bit more than an PA usually does. You’ve learned technical specifics about an area of the company and accomplished work I would’ve had to do myself. That’s way more than being a personal assistant.”
“Oh wow! That’s a great idea!”
“What idea?”
“That I’ll be your expanded-duty personal assistant. I can learn about everything you do and take some of your workload—that sounds awesome!”
“Is that what I said?”
“That’s what I heard. Isn’t that what you said?” Then she sat up and grabbed his arm. “Just one thing—do I still get a raise?”
He closed his eyes for a long moment and then started chuckling. After he caught his breath, he turned back to her. “So, Ms. Best?”
“Yes, Mr. Gherring?”
“Are we going to need a PA?”
What’s Important
For the rest of the flight there was no discussion of work, but she fretted over her out-of-control feelings.
What was I thinking?
With the new position she’d proposed, she’d be spending more time with Gherring than ever before. If it were only a physical attraction, it would be easier to handle her emotions. But he was also kind, thoughtful, and unselfish. The more she got to know him, the more she saw his true strength was so much more than physical.
If only he had a wife, she could put all those thoughts out of her mind. If Gherring were married, she’d lose all that physical and emotional attraction she felt for him right now. Then maybe she could let herself be attracted to someone else. She didn’t believe she’d ever find someone like Tom, someone she could really love and trust, someone she would be willing to marry. But maybe she could find a man she could be a really close friend with. Maybe even Henri. But first she had to eliminate Gherring from her system. He really messed with her perception.
It was seven thirty p.m. in New York by the time they arrived back at the apartment. Gherring hadn’t mentioned anything more about the job. Anne debated whether to ask about it as she dragged her weary body into the lobby.
But Gherring broached the subject as they entered the elevator. “So, I guess we should get together and talk about your new job description before Monday.”
Anne panicked. She’d already decided she shouldn’t spend any more time with Gherring outside of work, but she could hardly refuse. “Should someone else be at the meeting with us, like maybe Katie?”
His brows pinched together. “I don’t think Ms. Carson needs to be involved. After all, she’s leaving in mid-December. Why don’t you just come up for dinner tomorrow night? We can iron out the details.”
“Tomorrow night?”
He slanted a suspicious look toward her. “Unless you have other plans? Maybe you’re planning to talk with Henri at that time?”
“No, I don’t have other plans—”
“Okay then, six o’clock? Seven?”
“Seven is okay.” She heard the words come out of her mouth.
“Or, I guess if you’d rather, you could come up earlier and run while I work out.”
Anne felt all the blood drain from her face. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean, that won’t work for me. I’ll see you at seven for dinner.”
“See you tomorrow night, then,�
�� he said as she exited the elevator. She didn’t respond but she noted his self-satisfied expression before the doors closed. What on earth had she gotten herself into?
Henri had left her a message on her phone to call him in the morning. He sounded weary. And Anne discovered her most recent email from Johanna.
Dear Anne,
I must hear what happened on your trip to Switzerland! How did Mr. Gherring behave toward you? Do you think I am right he is interested in you as more than a secretary? And what about Henri? Was he jealous you went to Switzerland with Mr. Gherring? What did Mr. Gherring say about your plans to go to Paris next week to stay with Henri? Are you still going?
My life here is boring, so write back soon! I am trying to talk Alexander into visiting New York in December. We must get together!
Yours truly,
Johanna
Anne quickly jotted a note back.
Dear Johanna,
Switzerland was beautiful! I have a stamped passport now! Mr. Gherring was extremely considerate. And no, I am certain he is not interested in me as more than a secretary. In fact he tried to move me to a job that would have meant we seldom even worked together. I negotiated for something a little different. I am getting a kind of promotion, with expanded duties, as a reward for long hours of work on the presentation. I am a little nervous about living up to his expectations. Henri came to see me in Bern. Mr. Gherring and Henri got along fine, considering the circumstances. I still plan to leave for Paris on Tuesday night. I would love to see you in December. You could perhaps help me clear some confusion from my head with your sage advice.
Thinking of you,
Anne
Anne was exhausted from the travel, but she knew she needed some exercise if she wanted to sleep well. So she changed quickly and made her way to the gym. It was mostly deserted on a Saturday night. Only one other soul, and he was busy with the free weights. She knew most people in the building had something to do and someone to be with on Saturday nights. But she was glad to have a chance to clear her mind.