* * *
But it didn’t work. Nora went to the poetry and writing enclave the next day, ready to pour out her soul about the way Owen had hurt her. Nothing came. She sat staring at a blank piece of paper for hours. Finally, just to get something out, she tried doodling on the paper. Her doodles came out mismatched and shaky, just like the numbers. She couldn’t get words to save her life.
Maybe it was drawing or writing, she thought. So she went to the music enclave. She got herself a drum like she had before. And she sat, waiting to feel the drum beat. But something horrific had happened. She couldn’t quite hear it anymore. Oh, she could tell that drums were beating, and she even had a vague idea that they sounded pretty good. But she couldn’t hear the pattern anymore. She couldn’t tell where the drum beats were supposed to go. And when she tried to play the drum, she couldn’t tell if she sounded good or bad. She banged away at it for a while until someone came over and irritably told her that if she was going to be so far off beat, could she please play a little softer?
Nora was horrified. She went back to her tent, sobbing. Catling wasn’t in a good mood either. She was over in the corner of Nora’s tent, mewling plaintively. Actually, Nora realized, Catling had been doing that for a while now. Nora didn’t know what was so offensive about that particular corner of the tent. She pulled the cat-duck close and cried. What was wrong with her?
Things didn’t improve over the following weeks. Nora tried everything she could think of. She went to the dance enclave, the clothing and fabric enclave, the food enclave, the science enclave... She couldn’t do anything. She either was frozen by a lack of inspiration or started to do something and did a positively horrible job at it. Maddie and Sawyer told her that maybe she was trying too hard, and they told her to relax for a week or two. Nora thought she’d been “relaxing” since May Day, but they pointed out that she’d really been upset over Owen that entire time.
Nora tried to relax. She didn’t feel any better by the end of the week. And nothing had changed. Feeling upset and depressed, she went to the wine and spirits enclave. She wasn’t any help there either, but she did manage to get pretty drunk, and while she was drunk, it didn’t matter so much anymore.
She stumbled back to the tweens and rebels enclave. Agler was sitting alone by the fire pit, strumming his guitar. She hadn’t seen Agler in almost a month, she realized. She strode over to him. “Are you avoiding me?”
Agler stopped playing guitar. “Nora.”
“Because I haven’t seen you in a long time.”
Agler set his guitar down. “Are you drunk?”
She shrugged. “Maybe a little bit.”
“I don’t want to have this conversation while you’re drunk,” said Agler. He got up, taking his guitar with him, and headed for his tent.
Nora got in front of him, blocking his path. “There’s a conversation to have? Then you are avoiding me.”
Agler looked uncomfortable. “Look, just go find some water or something and sober up, okay? We’ll talk another time.”
“No. Because we haven’t talked in a really long time, so the next time I happen to see you, it might be another month from now.”
“Do you want to see me?” asked Agler.
“Sure. Of course I do. You’re my friend,” said Nora.
“Friend.” Agler shrugged. He walked around Nora.
“What?” Nora demanded.
He stopped. Turned. “Look, Nora, I’m a lot older than you.”
“A lot older? I don’t think so,” said Nora. “In the mundane world, you would have been a senior when I was a freshman in high school. So we’re totally in the same age group.”
“I don’t know what any of that means,” said Agler. “But the thing is, being around you, it’s made me different than I used to be. I’m punching people now, and spying on people, and hanging out with fifteen-year-olds, and—”
“It was not your fault that you punched Owen. He made you do it.”
“He didn’t make me. I’m the one who has control over my own fists,” said Agler. “I think it would be better if I stayed away from you. That’s all I’m saying.”
Nora took a step back, stunned. “But, I thought you... It seemed like you liked me.”
“I do like you,” said Agler. “We’re friends, right?” He turned away and continued back to his tent.
“Friends who stay away from each other?” Nora called after him.
Agler didn’t answer.
Nora folded her arms over her chest. Then she felt sick to her stomach. She ran for the toilets, but she didn’t make it and threw up all over the ground. She stared down at the contents of her stomach, reminding herself she’d promised not to drink ever again. It really wasn’t worth it.
Nora went into the toilets and washed her face. She felt less drunk now, but she didn’t feel any better. Everything sucked. She kicked at a few rocks on the ground as she made her way back to her tent. At least Catling still liked her.
She looked up to see Owen and Maddie walking into the tweens and rebels enclave. Her jaw dropped. What was Maddie doing with Owen?
Owen saw her, and his eyes widened. “Um, I’ll see you later,” he said to Maddie and hurried away.
Nora stalked over to Maddie. “Why were you talking to him?”
“You smell like the wine and spirits enclave,” said Maddie. “I thought you weren’t going to drink anymore.”
Nora waved it away. “What was he saying to you?”
“Are you drunk?”
“Not anymore,” said Nora, feeling annoyed. “I just threw up.”
“Great,” said Maddie. “It’s good to see you’re handling this so maturely, Nora.”
“Everything’s screwed up. I can’t do anything anymore.”
“You’re pushing yourself,” said Maddie. “You’re trying too hard. Didn’t Sawyer and I tell you to relax?”
“Yeah, I tried that,” said Nora, “but I’m getting the feeling you’re ignoring the big picture here, which is, ‘What the hell were you doing with Owen?’”
Maddie sighed. “He’s worried about you.”
Nora laughed. “What? He’s worried about me? You can’t fall for that crap, Maddie. He doesn’t even care about me.”
“I don’t know,” said Maddie. “He seemed pretty sincere.”
“That’s what he does. He makes people think he’s like that, when he’s actually a big creep.”
“Look, he knows he shouldn’t have slept with that fairy. But is it possible that you’re trying to turn Owen into some bad guy because you’re angry about that?”
Nora was astonished. “What did he do to you?”
“Nothing,” said Maddie. “He asked me about you is all. He wanted to know how you were doing. And the way he talks about you... I know he’s not perfect, but maybe you’re being too hard on him.”
“I don’t believe this. How could you be on Owen’s side?”
“I’m not on a side,” said Maddie. “But you have to admit that when the two of you were together, you were happier. Ever since you broke up with him, you’ve been depressed and angry. And is it really true that when Agler punched Owen, Owen didn’t even fight back?”
“Maddie, this is Owen we’re talking about. You can’t listen to him.”
“Would it be so bad if you talked to him?” said Maddie. “Maybe if you hear him out—”
“Stop it,” said Nora. “He’s done something to you, I just know it.”
“He hasn’t,” said Maddie, looking sad.
Nora sighed. “Stay away from him, Maddie. Please? For your own good.”
“Just talk to him,” said Maddie.
Nora went into her tent, leaving Maddie outside. She couldn’t listen to this anymore. Catling was in the corner. When she saw Nora, she began making her quacking mewling sounds. Nora scooped her up. Catling was on her side, even if Agler and Maddie weren’t.
Dancing Days Page 41