by Royal Blue
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Honey, please. I had to fight to not fan myself. You two were sending sparks and flames back and forth with just your eyes. For a minute there, I thought he was going to break my neck for whispering to you,” Darwin says with too much joy in his voice.
Leave it to Darwin. For as long as I’ve known Dar, he’s made it his mission to be a matchmaker. Not sure why I expected this to be any different.
Leaning forward for my scotch, I think back to the look on Angel’s face. Maybe they’re right, but I’m not ready to start a relationship. Besides, Angel is now one of my employees, and he lives in the gym.
Nope, I’ll be keeping my distance.
“You’ll have to live again someday,” Javier says more seriously.
“I’m living,” I reply.
“No, you’re surviving. You, my friend, haven’t lived in six years. You have a thing for Latin men. I say Angel is the universe dropping a sign in your lap that it’s okay to move on,” he says.
“This conversation is over.”
“Fine, but you won’t be able to avoid this forever. Trust me, life has a way of kicking in doors when it’s time for change,” my friend warns.
I don’t reply. The only thing kicking my door in is a nightmare I can’t seem to stop having. The last thing I need is the complication of a relationship with someone that seems to have just as much shit going on in his life, if not more.
“He’s gay,” Darwin says one last time.
I scoff and take a sip of my drink. I make my mind up here and now. Gay or not, Angel is off-limits.
Chapter 6
A Night Out
Beau
“You’ve been avoiding the gym. Is there a reason why?” I say into the phone to my sister as I spray on cologne before walking out of my bathroom.
“I’ve been busy with the wedding and helping Kyle and Andy get settled into the new place,” she replies.
I can hear it in her voice. Something is off. I think back to that morning almost two months ago when something had clearly upset her. She never did cough up what was going on, and she hasn’t been back to the gym since now that I think about it.
I’ve been pretty busy with the gym reno and some other ventures I’m thinking about getting involved in, but I’ve noticed she hasn’t been the one to bring the kids down. She’s been getting everyone to cover for her. That’s not like my sister. If she commits to something, she’s committed.
I normally would wait her out. However, I have this feeling something has been going on with my sister. Running the place may not be her thing—you don’t get much more of a silent partner—but once she devoted her time to the kids, she’s been there.
“Did something happen I should know about?”
“No,” she says, but her voice betrays her whether she knows it or not. “Beau, I’m fine. I truly have been busy with the wedding. I’ll get back to my usual schedule in a few weeks.”
“I hope so. You bringing the kids down has been a part of their routine. They need that,” I say.
She gives a heavy sigh. Maybe I shouldn’t lay the guilt trip on so thick, but I’m sensing a lot of what my sister isn’t saying. I figured mentioning the kids would at least get her to open up.
“Yeah, I know,” she says softly. Another red flag. This isn’t my sister. “I’ll be back to my old schedule as soon as I wrap a few things up.”
“I’ll see you at Mama’s this weekend at least?”
“Of course,” she says, the real Emma coming through this time. “She’s making chili, and I promised Mas I’d pick him up and take him over.”
I make a mental note. It’s something at the gym that has ruffled her feathers. I’ll be having a talk with Andres. After all, he’s the reason she decided to spend so much time at the gym in the first place.
“I’m looking forward to that chili,” I laugh, patting my stomach, hoping to keep her in this better mood.
“You and me both,” she says. “What are you up to tonight?”
“Javier’s having a little get-together at the club.”
“The club again. That’s the fourth time this week. You’ve been going there a lot more than usual.”
I’m officially talking to my sister, Emma. I can hear the mischief in her voice come across the line. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I let her words sink in.
I have to question the extra effort I just put into dressing in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. This is a more casual event, and I’ve questioned my choice a million times. Blazer, no blazer. Stetson, no Stetson. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.
“You should come out,” I say to avoid the probing I feel coming.
“I haven’t been to the club in so long. That actually sounds like fun.”
“Last I heard, Kyle and Andy might be there. It’s more of an intimate set up. I don’t see why you shouldn’t come,” I reply.
“Awesome. I’ll meet you there. I swear Tara has taken over being bridezilla for Andy. I could totally use a drink.” She laughs.
“Use the underground entrance. The front won’t be open since it’s all family tonight,” I inform her.
“Got it. I’ll come through the Batcave,” she says.
I snort. “See you later.”
I hang up and run my hand through my hair. Emma is right. I’ve been spending way more time at Club Refuge. I try to convince myself it’s because I want to have a better social life and get out more, but I know that’s a lie.
I’ve started to enter through the front door whenever I go, which is something I’ve never done before. I do now for one reason and one reason only. That look on Angel’s face whenever I show up.
It’s a mix of surprise and… irritation? Almost as if my being there makes him jealous. At first I’d started to enter the club through the general entrance just to see Angel in his suits, but that look. It drew my curiosity and has only continued to do so.
Tonight’s event was Javier’s idea. Having an understanding that Angel isn’t too big on crowds and tight spaces, he stopped trying to get him to join us at our booth at the club. Instead Javier had the main dance floor on the first level set up for a private event tonight.
With the open views and wide space, it’s Javi’s hope that Angel will accept the offer to hang out. He also gave him the night off but asked him to stop by to pick up his check and have a talk.
Leave it to Javi to come up with an elaborate plan even after I told him I’m not interested in dating. I’m quite sure Darwin is in on this one as well. I still don’t know why I’m going along with it.
“This is a very bad idea,” I blow out.
Angel
“You’ve done a great job here over the last month. I like your style. The guys speak highly of you as well. This could be great for you,” Javier says with a smile. “If you want to take your time and think about it, go ahead.”
“It’s a great offer. I could use that kind of money. I’m just not sure if it’s for me.” I’ve adapted to being a bouncer here at the club. I like it. It’s been a good way for me to get to know the other guys and ease my way back into some semblance of a normal life.
Still, I’m not ready to take this kind of leap. Thirty grand per gig to travel with Javier as well as getting to see games would’ve been my dream job three or four years ago. Today, I have too many demons riding my back.
“Just think about it,” he repeats.
“I will,” I say, clenching and unclenching my fist.
This could open so many doors. I can get a place that I can breathe in. I’d be confronting my anxiety instead of allowing it to cripple me.
Yet this is a man’s life, and that’s where my hesitation lies. I don’t know if I can be responsible for another life just yet. Not like this. Being a bouncer, a gatekeeper, keeping danger out, that’s one thing. Taking on sole responsibility for another human being, I can’t do that.
I can’t fail another mission.
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The voices and yells of my fallen brothers start to fill my head. My vision blurs. I’m sinking into my past quickly just from thinking about this offer.
Walking through the small town, it’s hot and we all can’t wait to get back to camp. A group of kids runs by laughing and playing. I smile. Suddenly, a herd of goats ahead grab my attention.
A few of my guys are only a few feet away from the herd. “Goat, goat. On your six, there’s a bomb on that fucking goat. Johnson, move, move, move!”
I grab the small girl wandering away from the other kids in the direction of the goats. I shield her with my body as the bomb explodes, thrusting me and the girl in my arms forward.
“Angel.” Javier calls my name sharply.
My gaze clears and he comes back into focus. Releasing my hands from their biting grip into my palms, I root myself to the here and now. I tighten my jaw and suppress the trembling that tries to take over.
“If that’s all I’ll get out of your hair,” I say.
“Wait, what’s the rush? Come down and have a beer with me,” he says.
I narrow my eyes at him. Javier is a good-looking guy with his hazel eyes and pretty face, but I like him as a boss. I can see us becoming friends, maybe, but nothing more than that.
“You need to relax sometime, amigo.” He grins. “I’m having only friends over tonight. Have a drink, shoot some pool. Relax.”
I think about his words. It’s been so long since I’ve kicked back, but the one word that catches my attention first is friends. I can’t help but wonder if that includes Beau. As much as I hate the choppy layout of the VIP section Javier and Beau always seem to hang out in, I try to tell myself I can grit my way through it for just a bit to get to know more about the gray-eyed quiet storm named Beau.
“We’ll be in area B,” Javier says as if reading my thoughts. “Instead of a dance floor, we’re using it for a few pool tables and a little dancing if anyone feels the need. It’s extremely low key. Just some friends. Come on, Angel,” he coaxes.
“I’ll hang around for a beer,” I relent.
“Magnífico, let’s join the others,” he says.
We make our way down to the main level, and I tell myself this is what I need. I need to get back to interacting with people, forcing myself to settle into a room and get absorbed in life.
However, the moment I step into the main area, I become absorbed in one thing. About twenty people are hanging around, but just one of them sucks me in. I only have a view of his profile, but it’s enough to send my heart racing.
Beau has on a black T-shirt and fitted blue jeans. He’s wearing a pair of cowboy boots, a black cowboy hat finishes the look. He’s with the older dude from the first night I saw him here. His head is bent to listen to whatever the shorter, older guy is saying.
Suddenly, his head lifts, and he turns in my direction. With his eyes on me, I’m at a loss for why I shouldn’t be here. All at once I dig deep to push through to find the old me. The Angel that would pull up and holler at a dude I’m interested in without a second thought.
“Come, let’s get you a beer. Then we can go chat up Beau and Darwin,” Javier offers.
“Cool.” I nod and follow him to the bar.
With a beer in hand and my mind set on my mission, I turn to head over to the other side of the transformed dance area. I bump into Beau, those intense eyes locking with mine.
“We were just coming over to say hello,” Javier says as he pulls Beau into a one-armed hug. “Angel, I want you to meet Darwin.”
“Hello there,” Darwin says. “Welcome to our little family.”
“Nice to meet you,” I reply cautiously.
“Listen, I need to steal Javi away for a bit. Why don’t you two go play a game of pool? We’ll catch up with you in a few,” Darwin says, grabbing a hold of Javier before anyone can protest.
“Do you have time for a game?” Beau’s voice vibrates through me.
I turn my attention back to him to find him watching me closely. It’s the uncertainty in his eyes that makes me say yes. It’s as if he’s just as unsure about this as I am.
I can’t help but wonder where his uncertainty comes from. From what I can see, Beau has his life together. Sure, he often looks like he could use more sleep, but up until now I’ve written that off as him working tirelessly for the gym and everyone whose life it touches.
Before I can place the mix of emotions that filter across his face, the shutters come down. Little does Beau know, I’m not one to back down easily. I’m just as curious about him as I am attracted. A game of pool will get me those answers I’ve been looking for.
“I have time,” I reply.
We fall into step with each other as we move to one of the open tables. I sit my beer down and pick up a pool cue. Beau removes the rack and retrieves his own cue. I watch as he finishes his beer before sitting it down. He nods for me to break, and I get the game started.
We fall into a comfortable silence as we make it through our first game and a few rounds of beer. It’s a welcomed silence. Not as awkward as it would seem for such a long period of time. Actually, it’s as if our auras speak for us.
Each time our bodies move past each other, they call us closer like magnets. After a while, I begin to loosen up, looking for the right thing to say. It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve put myself out there with anyone. I wonder if I still have it.
“How are things going?” Beau asks as we start our second game, breaking the silence.
It’s a relief as his words slice through the tension that has started to build to a crackle between our bodies. I feel it. I know he has to. I wouldn’t trust him if he tried to deny it.
“Pretty good. I’m not complaining,” I reply as I knock two in.
“Sorry I couldn’t tell you more about this place before you were hired. I hope you weren’t put out,” he says, eyeing me closely.
I stand up straight, place my stick on the floor, and lean in against it. I tilt my head to study Beau more closely. A smile comes to my lips as anticipation rolls off him.
“You mean all the gay shit going on around here?” I say with a straight-as-fuck face.
Beau’s lips tighten, and I almost let out a laugh. His jaw works and his nostrils flare. I swear dude is about to spit fire at me.
“Maybe this isn’t the place for you. I’ll let Javi know you’re not interested in stayi—”
“So you haven’t figured out that I’m gay?” I laugh, reaching for my beer. I take a sip and narrow my eyes at him as he takes my words in. His entire demeanor shifts after a few beats. A small smile kicks up the right side of his mouth.
“I try not to assume things about people. I can only know what you tell me.”
“I’ll give you that. I appreciate all you’ve done for me. Javier’s a good dude.”
“That he is. I figured you’d make the decision for yourself about the job once you got to know him and the place,” he says.
“Took a minute to figure things out fully, but I’m good. Javier is a great boss. No one causes any real trouble around here. Unless you count getting my ass pinched once or twice.” I shrug.
Beau tenses up. “You should talk to Javi about that.”
“It’s cool. It was a regular that’s been flirting. He was a little drunk the other night.”
“That’s no excuse. There are rules around here,” Beau says tightly. He signals for another round of beers, picking up the one resting on the table to drain it.
“I’ll take care of it,” I say with a smile.
Beau nods. I can tell he doesn’t want to let it go, but he does. I’m beginning to like the fact that he’s so quick to be in my corner.
“What about the classes at the gym? Are those working out?”
“Yeah, it’s cool. Some of the ladies there may not appreciate the fact that they’ll never have a chance with me,” I say and wink.
Beau gives a hearty laugh. The rest of the tension seems to melt away. He has
a warm laugh and an infectious smile. I take a chance and walk closer to him.
“I don’t want to make assumptions either. I’ll come right out and ask. Do you come here just as a friend or for the lifestyle?”
“A little of both,” he says with a smile.
I let my eyes roam over him from head to toe. Biting my bottom lip, I grin at him and lean in. His cologne fills my head. The energy rolling off him is so strong I can taste it on my tongue. “I don’t know if I like that answer,” I say.
“Oh no?” His brows lift into his hairline.
“No, I’m not into sharing.”
Beau rocks back on his heels and folds his arms over his chest. My gaze is drawn to his muscles as they flex and bunch. When I force my eyes back up, his smile is now on full display. He leans a hip against the side of the pool table.
“Sharing? Looks like we jumped over an entire conversation,” Beau says.
“You don’t like to assume. I don’t like to waste time. If I see something I want, I go after it,” I reply.
“Is that right?”
“Sí, hermoso.” I pause and lick my lips. He’s definitely beautiful. “Unless I missed something. You’re feeling me too.”
The heat in his eyes tells me I’m not wrong at all. I put it out there. Now the ball is in his court.
Let’s see if you can accept a challenge as well as you can set one, Beau.
Beau
I should walk away. This isn’t the simple flirting I’d planned on. Although Angel’s forwardness is a total turn-on. From the white T-shirt that’s stretched across his chest to the loose-fitting jeans and tan construction boots, we’re a complete contrast of each other, but that’s what draws me to him.
I love that New York edge he has. Angel is my type and so much more. Those whiskey-brown eyes have taken on a new light tonight. I like this look on him. The dark shadows still haunt him as usual, but all of that’s not sitting in the forefront.
Although a bit of mischief I’ve never seen before sparks to life. It’s a bonus that I can stand eye to eye with him to observe all of this. My gaze drops to his turned-up lips. That smile and those dimples are almost my undoing. My cock twitches in my pants as his tongue darts out to drag across his lips for the second time.