by Royal Blue
“What’s that about?” Beau grumbles looking in the direction they just disappeared in.
“Have no idea,” I reply.
Soon enough the four return to the kitchen where the five of us are snagging our third cookie. We can at least see Billy’s smiling face now as the front of her hair is brushed up into a top knot and the back remains wild, hanging free. It’s when Emma reaches to brush the side of Billy’s hair that I see the big-ass rock on her finger.
Emma has a beaming smile, and my brother is grinning like a fool. I can feel his happiness oozing from him. I break into a face-splitting smile as I rush my brother and lift him into a bear hug.
“Congratulations,” I croon.
“We’re getting married,” Emma squeals, wiggling her hand out for the others.
“Go on tell them the rest now,” Andres says with his chest poked up.
“I had no idea that he was acting all weird because he was going to propose. I decided to keep this a secret from everyone because I thought we were about to break up, but… I’m pregnant,” she says.
Daphne squeals and tugs Emma into a hug. I grab my brother for another embrace and rock him back and forth. I couldn’t be happier for him. His divorce was hard on him. There was a time I didn’t think he’d recover.
“I’m so happy for you,” I say in his ear. “So proud of you, mi hermano.”
“Same here, Angel. I’m so fucking proud of you. You guys made me get my shit together to propose. I had no idea about the baby,” he whispers back.
“I love you, ’Dres. None of this would have happened for me without you,” I reply.
“Yes it would. You’re the stronger twin. You make shit happen,” he says, cupping my face and squeezing. “I always knew you would do it.”
I nod as my emotions take over. Stepping out of the way, I let Andy and Kyle get in for their hugs and congratulations. I move across the kitchen and look around at all of the smiling faces and realize I’m in a room full of people and love. A room I don’t want to claw my way out of.
“I’m going to be a big cousin,” Billy says, placing her hand on Emma’s still-flat belly.
“You sure are,” Em replies.
“She’s not my cousin,” Mason says under his breath.
I only hear it because he’s so close to me. I look down at him, making a sour face as he looks at Billy. Kyle reaches to pinch him.
“We talked about this,” Kyle hisses.
“Nope, I’m not trying to hear that, Uncle Kyle. I don’t care what Capys and Themiste did. I’m not marrying my cousin,” Mason says. “That’s just gross.”
I’m stunned, not knowing what just happened here. Kyle tosses his head back and blows out a breath. When he turns back to Mas, he levels him with a glare. Mas looks back at him unfazed.
“You’re ten. You’re not marrying anybody,” Kyle says.
“The gods have chosen my path,” Mason points to Billy. “She was created for me. For the love of Zeus, she’s not my cousin.”
He storms off out of the room, leaving me and Kyle staring after him with open mouths. I turn to Kyle, and he pulls a hand down his face as he shakes his head. I don’t even know what to say.
“I miss the days when his only obsession was Greek mythology,” Kyle says.
“Did he just claim my daughter as his wife in the name of Zeus?”
“That would be a yes,” Kyle replies. “Your daughter. That sounds good on you.”
Kyle smiles and pats me on the back, walking to go find my future son-in-law it seems. Beau walks over looking at me curiously. I’m still trying to wrap my head around what just happened.
“What did I miss?”
“I don’t think you want to know.” I burst into laughter.
Chapter 38
Decisions
Beau
I look down at Billy tucked underneath my arm and kiss the top of her head. “It’s past your bedtime, sugar,” I say.
It’s been a long but good weekend. Billy has school in the morning, and I have to be on site for the final inspection at the new development. We’re finally wrapping things up there after having to flatten the existing buildings and rebuild.
“But my toes are still drying,” she yawns and wiggles her toes on Angel’s lap.
I look at a proud Angel. He painted her toes and managed to stay on the actual nails. Angel was damn sexy to watch with those dimples showing as he polished and sang to Billy in Spanish. I have the video to remember it by.
“Come on, cariño. I’ll carry you up and tuck you in,” Angel says as he stands.
“Okay.” Billy yawns again.
I lift my arm, and she turns to give me a hug good night. Angel lifts her onto his hip and starts for upstairs. I grab my phone to get some notes down for my day tomorrow. As the screen lights up, an alert for an appointment with Eric pops up.
I sigh and sit back on the couch. I have a decision to make. I made the appointment because Angel begged me to. I’m still not fighting optimally. Yet I still have reservations about digging into why.
Billy’s giggles float down the stairs. I have so much more to think about now than I did eight years ago. When I step in the ring this time, it’s to feed my husband and daughter. I have a little girl to put through college someday.
I want to give her that first car at sixteen like I had. If I can help it, Billy will never want for anything. Then there’s Angel. We’ve talked about him letting the job at Refuge go. He doesn’t work there half as much as he used to, and he has taken on so much at the gym with me.
I think the only reason Angel hasn’t left the club is because he’s too proud to have me take care of everything around here. Yet I want to make it where he can do whatever he chooses. I love having him in my corner. I rub at my chest. A lot is riding on this fight.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” Angel asks as he returns.
“I’m supposed to see Eric tomorrow evening,” I reply.
“It’s the right thing to do, Beau.” He sighs. “I don’t like what’s going on in the ring. I wish we would’ve taken longer to find you a fight. If I would’ve seen you hesitate back then, I wouldn’t have let you do this.”
“I’m not saying you’re wrong,” I say.
Angel runs his hand through my hair and I turn to look at him. I purse my lips, and I think over what I want to say. This has been weighing heavily on me.
“Just say it,” he says. “No shutting down, remember.”
“That night feels like it will forever haunt me. I have prided myself on making right decisions. I knew it was the wrong one to get in that ring,” I say. “There was a time where I didn’t feel I deserve absolution from what I did. You know. I killed him. It was on me. The blood was on my hands.”
“Beau, it wasn’t your fault—”
“I know. I know that now. At least I’ve been trying to tell myself that. I have you and Billy and I want to change how that night has haunted my life. I want to be free from that darkness. I’m just afraid to go digging in the shit and stirring the pot,” I finally admit out loud.
“Take it from someone that knows. Sometimes you have to shovel the shit, Papi. It’s the only way to get to the other side.”
I reach to pull the tie from his hair and run my fingers through his locks. The front spills forward, covering one side of his face. Tucking the wayward locks behind his ear, I lean in and kiss his lips.
We don’t deepen the kiss, but we keep the connection. I turn and he nuzzles the side of my face with his nose. This is all the comfort I need in the world. If I could have this feeling in the ring every time I stepped in, I’d be a champion.
“I’ll sleep on it,” I say.
“I’ll take that. But, Beau?”
“Yeah, darlin’.”
“If you don’t start looking like you’re all in by the week of the fight, you’re not getting in that ring. I can promise you that. I don’t give a fuck what anyone says. You step in with your whole heart or not
at all,” he says.
“I hear you, baby. I hear you.”
Angel
I can’t sleep. I’ve been thinking about Beau’s words from earlier. I wish I could reach his tortured soul and heal it. I want nothing more than to see him and Billy happy.
Billy.
I stand in the doorway of her room, leaning against the jamb as I watch her sleep. She looks so peaceful. She’s safe and happy. Not at all the same little girl I met at the gym.
I see the way she looks at us. We’re her entire world. Everything I do I do for these two. Each day I wake with them on my mind. Fighting to live, to want to be here, to overcome my daily challenges, I do it because I love them.
What I’ll do tonight is no different. My phone vibrates, letting me know my ride is here. I push off the door, flip my hoodie over my head, and jog down the stairs. After shoving my feet into my sneakers, I slip out the front door. When I get to the garage, I slip into the back of the car waiting for me.
“Thanks for doing this, Javi,” I say to the man waiting in the back of the car for me.
“Not a problem, but you won’t be leaving your family tonight,” he replies.
“What do you mean?”
“We won’t need to visit our friend this evening. It has been handled.”
I turn in my seat to really look at him. I want to see if he’s telling me the truth or changing his mind about helping me with this. When I told Beau I’d take care of this, I meant it.
“Care to explain?”
“There’s something I need you to know. It’s my job to protect my brothers, sí. Something they don’t ask me to do. No significa nada. It’s what I do.” He waves a hand nonchalantly.
“Okay, I think I’ve picked that up about you,” I say.
“There are things we didn’t tell Beau about what happened that night. The six of us decided he didn’t need to know. He was already destroyed. I’m telling you this now because you have become a part of our brotherhood.
“The autopsy revealed that Roman had cocaína in his system. Beau isn’t with that shit. He hates the garbage. As you probably know by now, he won’t even take a simple aspirin. It would’ve ripped him apart to know Roman got mixed up in the trash,” he says.
I give a low whistle. Leaning forward, Javi reaches into the pocket of the back of the driver’s seat and pulls out a manila envelope, handing it over to me.
“Steve is a sucio diablo. I’ve always had my suspicions about that fight. I believe he had something to do with Roman getting into drugs. I couldn’t prove it then, but I have always blamed him for Roman’s death.
“Steve has always been shady. I just needed to wait for the cabrón to slip up. He’s desperate now, and he’s making all the right mistakes,” Javi croons.
I flip through the pictures I pull from the envelope. My brows rise at the images before me. Steve handing a well-known fighter as suspicious-looking baggy. The same fighter that was just banned for substance abuse. More pictures of him in questionable situations that make my stomach turn. The last photo is of him in a leopard print robe being led out in cuffs.
“Looks like Stevey boy got into promoting some other things in the last few years,” I say.
“Sí, you would be right. It makes it so much sweeter to shove him into the hands of justice. I have friends in high places. I’m sure you’ve noticed at Refuge. I’ve sent them an air-tight case. He won’t be trying to distract Beau with his bullshit anytime soon,” Javi says with a bright smile.
“Thanks.”
“De nada.” Javi waves me off. “I told Beau I would take care of this. However, I did want to see you beat the shit out of Steve first. Unfortunately I got the call this evening just after they picked him up.”
I laugh and shake my head. A ton of pressure has been lifted from my shoulders. I wanted to have a meet with Steve and let him know he was barking up the wrong tree coming for my husband. I should’ve known the all-seeing Javier was on top of this.
“I wanted to talk to you,” I say.
“You will be leaving my employment,” he replies, reaching into his suit jacket. “I’ve seen this coming. It is good. Here is a parting gift. I’ve enjoyed having you as an employee. My members will miss seeing your face.”
“I can’t take that,” I say, pushing his hand back toward him.
“Si, mi amigo, you will. It is a gift and insurance. I always give parting gifts. It tends to serve as a reminder,” he says.
“You’re my family. No reminder needed.”
“Which is why you will take it. You’re family. I take care of my family. Buy the little princesa something. I will not take no for an answer,” he says.
“Thanks, Javi. For everything,” I reply.
“De nada. Just make sure Beau never finds out what we’ve kept from him. We don’t keep many secrets, but that one was a necessity,” he says.
“You should rethink that one. It may change how he feels about that night, but he won’t hear it from me. It’s not my story to tell. Not my facts to prove,” I say.
Javi regards me thoughtfully. I get the feeling he’s looking at something deeper, trying to grasp a bigger picture. He nods and pats my knee. “This is why he fell for you. You’re wise, Angel. Maybe it is time we have a talk with him.”
Chapter 39
Family Terrors
Angel
I sit with my back to the headboard, watching Beau in his sleep. We had our first major fight, and it was a huge one. We’re less than two months out from this fight, and I can literally see him thinking while in the ring.
This has to stop. If he’s not going to face this by talking to Eric, he needs to do something. For two weeks now, I was under the impression that he actually went to his appointment and has continued to go. I only found out that he hasn’t because I tried to schedule our appointments around the same time.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Hernández-Dalton, your husband doesn’t have an appointment for this week,” the receptionist said.
“Okay, well, can you make two appointments around his usual time? My schedule is more flexible,” I said.
“Um… I think I should put you on the phone with Dr. Levine,” she replied.
I was so pissed by the time I got off the phone with Eric, but I was going to let it slide. However, when it was time to spar, and Beau got in that ring looking like an amateur, I lost my shit.
I release a sigh and brush a lock of hair from his face. I know I need to be more understanding. Everyone deals differently. I get that. I just want him to actually deal.
Beau’s face tightens in his sleep. He starts to shift restlessly. I frown, knowing he’s having one of his nightmares. I don’t want to wake him too abruptly, so I give his shoulder a gentle shake.
“Beau,” I call softly. “Beau.”
He tosses and pulls away, murmuring something in his sleep. I reach for him again, but he bolts out of his sleep at the same time a piercing scream fills the air.
Beau
“You want to forget me,” Roman says.
I stumble back. I look between the body lying in the ring and the man standing in front of me. Shaking my head to clear it, I look to see the canvas beneath my feet is soaked in blood.
“I don’t want to forget you. I want to forget the pain,” I reply.
“Is that not the same, amor? You choose to forget me,” he says sadly.
I push a hand through my hair in frustration. It’s not that same. I will never forget the love I had for Roman.
“I just need to let this—” I point around the ring. “—go. It has to end. I can’t keep coming back here.”
“Then go, don’t come back,” he says like a perpetual child.
It reminds me of how childish he could get. It wasn’t one of my favorite traits of his. Many of our arguments came from his childish behavior.
“It’s not right,” I seethe. “It’s not right that I feel guilty for this all my life. Even now, you’re trying to make me feel guilty.”
He turns his hazel eyes on me. Sorrow, denial, and torture—all feelings I’ve carried over the years.
In the next breath, my father is standing before me. My knees buckle, and I fall to the canvas, but it’s no longer blood-stained. Instead, the ring is filled with water.
“You carry the weight of the world, son. You have to decide when to let all of that go. You can’t keep bringing all of that in this here ring. What did I used to tell you?” he says.
“I don’t know,” I whisper.
“Yes, you do, son. You’re responsible for you when you step in here. What the other fighter does isn’t your business. You fight your fight. You be your best.”
“I don’t know what my best is.”
“Bullshit, Beau James. You’re hiding your best.”
“Daddy—”
I look up and he’s gone. Roman is lying before me again, and the crowd’s laughing and pointing. I have blood on my hands. It’s the same old dream again.
“No!”
I pop up from my sleep. I’m disoriented. Somewhere in the distance, I can hear crying and screaming. It takes me a few seconds to realize it’s Billy. I go to rush to her room, but something is off.
I turn on the lights to find Angel standing with that look on his face. “Bachman, cover me,” he calls out.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” I grind out as I continue to hear Billy’s cries.
I have to think quickly. Angel shifts and knocks over the bedside lamp. Shit, I can’t leave him here alone, barefoot stumbling in broken glass.
I pick up my phone, trying to think of who to dial. I need someone to come for Billy and make sure she’s okay. Emma and Mama are too far away. Andy! Andy has a way with kids. I place the call.
Kyle has a key to my place just as I have one to his. He’ll be able to get in. I’m gutted that I can’t just go up the hall to my little girl, but Angel could seriously injure himself.
“Angel,” I call while I wait for Andy to pick up on the other end. “Angel, baby.”