“Would the two of you please be quiet for a minute?”
“’Kay.”
“Sure.”
I told them to shut up, and they did. At last, there was quiet.
Magic tricks, huh…? Being a real witch, I’m unfamiliar with sleight of hand. This is a toughie. Hmm… It’s annoying when they’re both talking at once, so let’s have them give their sides of the story one at a time. I looked at the younger brother and asked, “Why do you perform magic tricks?”
“In our homeland, there isn’t a single person who can use magic. One reason is that it’s a small country, but there are also some religious reasons, not to mention a historical taboo against it.”
“Hmm, hmm.” I had a feeling we were about to start quite a heavy conversation.
The older brother continued the story. “But people are instinctively drawn to the forbidden, and many young people like us aspire to be mages.”
“And so we thought, ‘Hmm, if we pretend to be mages, couldn’t we try to turn a profit?’”
“And then we hit the road, as the Nearly-But-Not-Quite-Conjurers.”
Ah, this really is a heavy conversation, isn’t it?
The two of them were explaining proudly and happily when I interjected, “No one got mad at you for doing that?”
The one who answered me was the one dressed in blue clothing—the younger brother. “They sure did. We even got arrested. But we weren’t really using magic; it was all illusion. So no matter how many times they arrested us, they had to let us go.”
“Somehow…”
I bet people saw them as heroes. I can imagine what the other members of their generation were saying, too. “The government in our country is no good! It’s incompetent!” Or something like that…
“But did sleight of hand not get banned on account of you two?”
They gave simple answers. “Yeah, it was.”
“That’s why we were exiled. Now we’re flat broke.”
“Oh, so you were exiled?” I asked.
The two of them nodded in perfect sync.
“It’s been one month since we were exiled.”
“Since then, we’ve been working as traveling performers to make money.”
“Uh-huh.”
“But then we ran into a problem with our act.”
“We don’t have a name for it.”
“A name, huh?”
“We discussed combining our names into one, as brothers, but we disagree over whose name should go first.”
“And so we decided that whoever won a contest of illusions would get to be first.”
I see. So that’s what’s going on. “And what was the outcome?”
This time it was the older brother who answered me. “As of right now…zero wins, zero losses, and fifteen ties.”
“So nothing’s been decided at all…”
“That’s why we want you to decide a winner and loser once and for all.”
“Today we put an end to the stalemate.”
The two of them glared at each other, shouting, “You wanna go?” and “Huh?” and so on.
Huh? This decision is kinda serious, isn’t it?
Their magic act was a truly incredible performance.
They pulled birds out of nowhere, caused coins to move instantly from place to place, guessed the cards I drew, and all kinds of other exciting, wondrous things.
Magic tricks are amazing.
The problem was that both of them were truly so impressive that I absolutely could not choose who was better. I realized this was one of those cases where it was impossible to decide.
“How about it? I was the most impressive, of course,” the younger brother boasted.
“No way—my magic tricks were more incredible than yours. Anyone could see that,” the older brother said in the same arrogant tone.
After looking back and forth between the two brothers, who were glaring at each other, I had only one thing to say: “It’s a tie.”
Since both brothers were remarkably talented, someone like me couldn’t possibly choose a winner and a loser. That was my official stance on the matter.
To be honest, I had just gotten fed up with the whole mess. I would leave the decision to someone else, somewhere else. I was ready for the brothers to be upset with my answer, but despite their fifteen previous ties, the two of them were surprisingly calm.
“…I see. Well, that’s that, then. We can’t decide on a name yet.”
“Come on, I’m telling you my name should go first.”
“What’d you say?”
“You heard me.”
“Both of you, stop it, please.”
“’Kay.”
“Sure.”
I made them quiet down and then took a step back.
“Well then, I’ll be taking my leave.” I need to hurry along to the next country; I am a traveler, after all. With a forced smile, I started to leave.
But then—“H-hey! Wait a minute.”
“Aren’t you going to pay us?”
The two brothers stopped me.
Huh? Pay? “You’re going to charge me for that magic show?”
I turned around, and the two brothers shrugged in unison.
“I mean, of course.”
“Getting to see our incredible tricks for free would be too good to be true, right? Right?”
“Right.”
What happened to the two people who had been snarling at each other until just a moment ago? The men in front of me were in perfect sync.
Suddenly, I was very uncomfortable. “Wait, you never said a single word about collecting payment…”
“I don’t remember saying it was free, either,” the younger brother said, snorting.
“Wait just a minute. Let’s review, shall we? You two wanted me to choose the superior illusionist, and you made me become the judge in your contest. Am I correct so far?”
“Yes, that’s correct.” The older brother nodded.
“Okay,” I continued. “That’s right. Meaning this was a contest between the two of you, not a magic show you were advertising? Is there a reason to pay money for that?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Our magic tricks are always a contest between us. Right?”
“Right.”
Seriously…?
They set me up. They were planning to trick me from the beginning.
Get into a fight, call a traveler over, then force her to watch your magic show and charge money… No doubt this was the sixteenth time they’d pulled their little scam. They should be ashamed of themselves.
“…Well, how much is the fee?” I decided to ask, just in case. It didn’t mean I accepted their explanation.
“Four silver pieces.”
“The two of us together comes to eight silvers.”
“Whoa, that’s pricey.”
Since one silver was enough for one night at an inn, these two were telling me to throw away enough money for over a week of lodging. What on earth are they thinking?
“We showed you a first-rate traveling magic show. I’d say it’s a good deal, wouldn’t you?” the older brother said.
Well, I can’t deny that the illusions were amazingly skillful.
“……”
I’m very, very reluctant, but unfortunately, they’re not wrong. Technically, they could say it was my fault for not asking about the price, and I wouldn’t be able to argue.
……
But I don’t wanna pay for something this stupid, especially when they’re forcing me…
I thought on and on until I was worn out.
“Stop right there.” I turned around, and the giant muscleman from the other day was posing there like a hero.
What in the world…?
“Um, hi there.” I gave a little bow, and he reacted a little bashfully.
“Good to see you again, Madam Witch.”
“It’s been a while, Muscleman.”
“Muscleman” was the incredibly brawny man I had
met several days ago. I had defaulted to calling him that because I had only met him once and hadn’t even asked his name. He seemed to enjoy hearing the word muscle, and he puffed out his chest. “Hmm, that’s right. I am a muscular man.”
Wow, he looks so dumb.
Frightened by the sudden appearance of the mysterious bodybuilder, the two swindlers were visibly trembling.
“H-hey…who is that guy?”
“What? Don’t tell me he’s your boyfriend.”
“No way.” I was very clear. Meatheads are not my type.
Muscleman didn’t care about my attitude in the least (actually, he probably didn’t even hear what I said) and spoke to the two magicians in a booming voice.
“Anyway, you there! Even if the gods forgive you for deceiving people to earn some easy coin, I shall not. Prepare yourselves.” It was hard to listen to him, in more ways than one. I turned my head away.
“…Why do you avert your eyes?” He saw me.
“Uh, no reason,” I said. “By the way, why are you here, Muscleman?”
“Ah, the truth is, I was just on my way to defeat a legendary dragon that is said to live in the next country. I was running there, racing the wind, when I caught sight of you—”
“What about your sister?”
“Sister?” After he had been quiet for a moment, he said, “Ah, my sister…my sister, yes. I was just thinking I would go look for her after I defeat the legendary dragon. Ha-ha-ha!” His laughter was forced and fake and far too loud.
You obviously forgot about her.
Even his brain had turned to muscle, but that was no surprise.
“…In that case, this man has nothing to do with this, right?”
“Yeah. Nothing at all. Which is why you need to leave.”
The two were startled into being overly direct. I mean, when you’re suddenly confronted by a burly bruiser, it’s understandable to feel a bit threatened.
“Silence!” Muscleman barked.
The two brothers squeaked in terror, and I almost burst out laughing.
“Extorting money from sweet girls like her is not something that people should be doing! We’re going to whip your character into shape, starting now! Come on!” Then Muscleman grabbed the two brothers by the napes of their necks and ran off.
“Ah, hang on… Hey, that hurts! Stop it!”
“He’s muscle! All muscle!”
“I’ll show you the splendor of the muscle world! Bwah-ha-ha-ha!”
“Ow! Let me go! Let gooo!”
“Wahhh! I’m sorry! We won’t trick people anymore!”
“Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
……
I stood in the spot where I had taken the bait, and waved good-bye to the two crying swindlers. Even when the three of them looked as small as rice grains, their pitiful wailing echoed endlessly across the sweeping meadow.
Well, that was lucky. I wonder what will become of the two brothers and the muscleman.
But of course, that wasn’t any of my business.
CHAPTER 6
Bottled Happiness
Wind ran over a gently sloping meadow tinged with brilliant green. The wildflowers glimmered in the sunlight like the surface of still water, swaying in the wind.
When I looked up, there was a small cloud swimming leisurely across the sky, and I felt like I could reach out and touch it.
A single witch was flying across this captivating vista on her broom. She was in her late teens, and she wore a pointy hat and a black robe with a star-shaped brooch over her breast. There’s no need to tell you who she might be— That’s right. She’s me.
Now, we can take the time to really appreciate this amazing scenery, but let’s move the story along…
I saw a person standing all alone in the middle of the meadow. When that person caught sight of me, they waved.
They don’t look hostile. I’ll wave back—as elegantly as possible, of course.
“Heeey! Heeeeey!” The person was hopping up and down, waving their arms, and trying their best to call attention to themselves… I guess they really want me to come over there.
I changed my broom’s course a little and made my way over to them.
“Yay! You came!”
When I got there, I found a young boy hugging a bottle in one arm.
“Hello there.” I alighted from my broom and bowed slightly.
“Hiya! Wow, miss, you’re a real witch!” The boy glanced at my brooch and then smiled.
“What are you up to?” I asked.
“I’m on a happiness hunt!”
“Oh? What do you mean by that?”
“A happiness hunt is a hunt for happiness,” the boy said. “By the way, miss, are you busy right now?”
Is he…asking me on a date? No, no, surely not.
“I guess you could say that I’m free, but you could also say that I’m busy.”
“So you’re free!”
……
“By the way, is there a village or town where people live nearby?” If I didn’t find a place to stay, I’d be camping out in this meadow, and I can’t say that was a very compelling option.
“If you’re looking for a village, there’s one over there.” He pointed, and there was indeed a small village…or something village-esque. It seemed very isolated.
“Uh-huh.”
“Actually, that’s my village.”
“Ah, so you’re the village chief? Pleased to meet you. My name is Elaina. I’m a traveler.”
“Oh, pleased to meet you. I’m Emil— Wait, no, that’s not what I meant! I meant that’s the village where I live.” Emil puffed out his cheeks.
“I knew that. It was just a joke.” I smiled.
Emil turned sulky and hugged his bottle instead of replying.
When I looked more closely at the bottle, I could just barely make out the shape of something wriggling inside it—a kind of floating white mist that moved like a living thing.
“What is that?” I pointed at the bottle.
He had probably wanted me to ask. With a proud snort, Emil gave me an answer. “This is the bottle where I’m collecting happiness! The instant a person or animal feels happiness, I transform it with a spell and gather it up in this bottle.”
“Huh…”
Magic can move objects, transfigure things into flame or ice or…anything else, really, and duplicate things right before your eyes. You can use it to fly on a broom, to make the wind blow, or to change yourself into a mouse. But gathering up happiness the moment it’s felt means transforming emotion using a spell.
This might be interesting.
“Can I open it and look?”
“O-of course you can’t!”
When I stretched out my hand, Emil squeezed the bottle even tighter in his arms and retreated a little. With a hostile look in his eye, he proclaimed, “I’m doing this for a girl I like, so I won’t let you touch it!”
“Uh-huh.”
“Um, are you mad?”
“No, I’m actually kind of impressed.”
I recalled a book I had read a long time ago. It was the story of a husband who walked around outside, magically duplicating beautiful images the moment he saw them and taking them home to show to his sick wife who couldn’t leave the house. Now how did that story end, again? It was a story from long, long ago, so I had completely forgotten.
“There’s a girl you like?”
“Hmm? Yeah, she’s a maid named Nino who works at my house. She always seems so gloomy, so I’m going to give her some happiness.”
So that’s why he’s stuffing happiness into a bottle.
He held the bottle up high for me to see and stared at it lovingly. He looked quite content; if you really could transform the expression he was wearing right then, you could bottle up some really good happiness.
After that, we rode on our brooms and headed for the village. Emil was indeed a mage, but since he had mentioned magic spells earlier, there had been n
o need to ask. That said, I was very curious about what the boy had been doing in the middle of the meadow.
“I was testing to see whether I could take happiness from plants, too,” Emil said, flying behind me.
“How did it go?” I asked.
“So-so. The spell let me transform something like emotion, but it was kind of hazy, and the color was cloudy. So I let it go.”
“My, my.”
Well, they are plants, after all. If you asked someone whether plants have distinct emotions, they would just look at you funny. Plus, if you knew the answer was yes, you might not be able to eat a salad ever again. Perhaps it’s best to let some mysteries stay mysteries.
“Ah, there it is.” He pointed to the village I could see just ahead.
It was a tiny village, small enough that you could probably walk the circumference of the pitiful perimeter fence in under an hour. There were only about ten houses sparsely populating the area, all built of wood. Some small fields and wells were interspersed among them, as if to fill in the gaps.
Oh, wow. “What a peaceful village.”
“Isn’t it?”
We got down off our brooms and passed between two trees that served as the gate for the village. Straight ahead of us on the road sat a house that was a large, splendid mansion in comparison to the others. By which I mean—well, it was about the same size as most normal houses in other countries.
“Is that the village chief’s house?”
Pointing at the building, Emil nodded. “That’s right. And it’s my house, too.”
“Oh?” Then it wasn’t necessarily wrong to say this village was Emil’s village.
“…You don’t seem impressed, miss.”
“Oh, should I have been more surprised? Wow, that’s amazing, you must be really rich!”
“Um…I mean, that’s not…” A shadow fell over Emil’s expression.
“Anyway, Emil, when are you going to give that bottle to the girl?” I asked, and he lit up again. His emotional highs and lows were entertainingly extreme.
“Today! I’ll give it to her after lunch. Oh yeah, you should join us! Nino’s cooking is the best!”
“I’m happy you want to invite me, but I just ate.”
“Okay, I’ll have Nino make you a small plate! Are there any foods you can’t eat? I’ll ask her not to use them!”
Wandering Witch: The Journey of Elaina, Vol. 1 Page 7