was always doing this to people. Super sweet and friendly to everyone's faces, but turn your back even for a second, and you were sure to find a dagger in it.
Everyone at work knew she was like this, but no one could ever prove it. He had felt that even his boss knew she was lying, but due to a lack of evidence, he had been written up anyways and nearly suspended.
A great rage filled him. How much longer would he put up with being treated like this? He had tried to be nice, polite and cordial to everyone he met. He had tried all his life to treat everyone with respect in hopes that he might get some back from others. And how had that fared for him?
He decided that he had had enough. He was sick of others pushing him around. Sick of being weak. Sick of never getting the things he wanted. Sick of being unhappy.
He was going to keep his eye out. Eventually an opportunity would present itself. And he was going to take it. He was going to ruin her. She would pay dearly for what she did.
(9)
The pit faded back into existence. He knew better than to be caught off guard again and lose his grip. He was surprised to feel tears stinging at his eyes. He hasn't felt (allowed) tears in so long. He hadn't wanted to. He immediately tried to block them out, but was having a surprising difficult time.
"Such pain they put you through!" the voice said. "And you were so innocent and alone in the world. You didn't want much at all. But they spit in your face! Pushed you to scar yourself day after day. And these are the people that you want to stay your hand of vengeance from? Up there, there is an entire world just like them!"
The young man didn't say anything. He continued to climb in silence. A great many thoughts went through his head. He thought back to the pain.
Yes... such a great pain he had felt. Such a pain he had never wanted to feel again. He had resolved long ago to cast it off and never feel it again. Now, though, he started to find that he DID feel. The vision had brought back the feelings anew again. They felt just as fresh now as they had ever felt.
Yes... the pain had never left. He had thought he could just cast if off and pretend it never existed. But he hadn't really gotten rid of it at all. It had simply festered there, waiting for the trigger that would summon it yet again.
The thought horrified him: would he be feeling this pain the rest of his life?
He thought of the prospect of other people being at the top of the pit. People who wanted to keep him down here. People who wanted to hurt him again.
A strong anger began to wash over him.
He wouldn't let them get away with it ever again. He was horrified at the way he was feeling, but the rational side of his thinking was being overcome with something worse.
Hate. A very strong hatred. A deep hatred that he hadn't realized he had, but as he began to meditate upon it, he started to realize that it had actually been there for a very long time. He also felt that he didn't want to repress anymore.
They wanted to keep him down here? They wanted to hurt him again? Well, maybe he wouldn't be the one who got hurt when he finally made it up to the top! Perhaps it was not himself he needed to be cutting. Maybe he would take his dagger to each and every one of them. Let them experience the same pain he felt, by any means possible. A pit for each of them...
Christian sat on his bed, recapping the events of the day in his mind. A smile was on his face. But it wasn't a smile of happiness. It was an almost evil smile. A twisted smile contorted with jovial malice.
He had done it. Oh, by God, he had done it! He had ruined her for good! Gotten her fired. Little miss-stupid-prissy-stuck-up-good-for-nothing had finally gotten what was coming to her. She had left herself wide open. Just enough for him to leap onto opportunity and grab it by the horns.
The old him would have let this opportunity pass by. Not the new Christian. He had been out for blood. He saw an open wound. Just a small break in the skin. He had leapt in and ripped it wide open. And when the metaphorical blood had started to flow, my God, it was such a good feeling.
Of course, the circumstances surrounding the situation were somewhat on the inconclusive side. For all he knew, she COULD have been innocent. Probably was, actually, but that was the point. She had been doing the same thing to other people for so long. How many other people had she stabbed in the back in the same way? She had certainly tried with him. Now she finally got a taste of her own medicine. It was what she deserved. Blood from a pig.
Everyone knew she was probably innocent. Everyone also knew it was Christian who had caused her to get fired. No one, though, looked upon him like he had done something terrible. Actually, he was pretty much now the hero of almost everyone who worked there.
He was praised. Loved. Respected. He had never felt such blissful euphoria in his life. He found himself craving the feeling more. Was this what he had been missing out on all his life?
He began to laugh to himself. He felt that he was changing. Transforming. He resolved that he would never let anyone hurt him again. If they tried, he would hurt them back tenfold. If anyone tried to cross him, they would be his enemy and he would show no mercy. He would not show forgiveness anymore.
He would not hold back any longer.
The nice, polite, kind, sweet Christian that had once let everyone trample all over him like some kind of dirty rug was now long gone. Now he would trample over everyone else. And God help anyone who tried to fight back whilst he exacted his vengeance!
(10)
The opening was much larger now. He was taken aback at first when he started making out forms at the top. He was still so far away, so it was hard to see clearly. They looked more like shadows to him.
They were there, though, just as the voice had said. Gazing down into the pit. Watching him. He wasn't sure how many were up there. They all seemed to take turns coming up and peeking down into the pit.
He saw them and began to think of what they had planned for him. He felt his hatred welling up again. At the same time, however, he was surprised at some of the other emotions he was feeling.
He was feeling extremely conflicted. Conflicted with the hate he felt and the other equally strong desire to be up there with them and be a part.
He desperately wished, as much as he tried to repress it, that someone would take pity on him. Reach down. Try to pull him out. Not just pull him out, but pull him into a strong embrace. Show love towards him. Take away this horrible pain he felt.
The more he thought about it, though, he knew that such a thing was an impossibility. It was just like the voice had said. He had seen the ugly face of the world, too. He thought about all the pain he had endured in the past. All the people who had hurt him.
Anger returned to him. He felt the tears stinging his eyes again. No one would ever really love him. No one would ever want to reach out to him.
His desire to be loved was only an idealistic fantasy. Nothing more. Since nobody would ever love him, he resolved that when he got to the top, he was going to make them pay. He would show them no mercy. If he was never going to receive the love he so desperately craved, then no one else would receive any either.
Christian landed a bit part in a major Hollywood production. He was ecstatic. It still wouldn't be enough to quit his day job, but the check was decent, and once again he would be able to quit his current second job and focus more on his real career.
The excitement of the day, however, was ruined slightly that evening at his main job, where he had to work the night shift. As he sat in the break room that evening, he heard a few coworkers discussing Janice. He had no idea some of the things that had been happening in her personal life, even long before she had worked there. Horrifying stuff. He couldn't imagine being forced to live that kind of a hard life. He started to feel a deep pang of guilt, but he tried to push it down and stay emotionally composed. He tried to summon his anger and justify himself, saying that it didn't matter because of the things she did, that it was just bad karma.
He began to wonder, though: might he not be just as ho
rrible a person too? His coworkers were also discussing some of the things happening in her life since she'd gotten fired. Some of the things they talked about scared him. He started to feel a little sick. He could feel both coworkers shooting sharp glances over in his direction while they talked. He tried to ignore them and stay smug looking and nonchalant.
The more he heard them talk, though, the sicker he felt with himself.
He suddenly found himself wishing he could take back what he did. There would be no opportunity for that, however. He started to realize that he may have actually played a major hand in destroying someone else's life in a way far beyond what he had originally intended, someone who had already gone through some of the worst life had to offer.
He tried so hard to convince himself that it had nothing to do with him, that it was just survival of the fittest, and he had only done what had needed to be done. After all, he had gained some respect from everyone else. He had gained a small sliver of something he had never really felt before.
There was a nagging voice at the back of his head, though, that began to whisper thoughts into his head that he hadn't thought about nor wanted to think about.
The 'respect' he had gained was based off of the fact that he had ruined someone else. He knew, though, that he would have done the exact same to even some of the people who now
The Pit Page 5