I try to unzip his pants to get to what I really want. He’s letting me while I allow him to violate me. Violate isn’t really the word, because I want his hands on me.
I get to my prize—his hardened erection—and although I have no idea what I’m doing, the sexually charged beast inside takes over. “Hmm,” he murmurs as my hand strokes him.
“I can’t wait until you’re inside me,” I whisper in his ear, before taking his lobe between my teeth and nipping on it.
Where is this coming from? Why am I so sexually charged? I don’t know, and really, I don’t care. This is feeling amazing. It’s empowering, and sexy.
The car comes to a stop, and I don’t even realize the bodyguard has opened the door. All I know is I want every part of me on every part of Edgar. I want him so badly it’s hurting, it’s insane how much. “Wait,” he says, tucking himself away.
“Why do I have to wait?’ I ask with a pout.
“Because I want to get upstairs before we screw out here on the sidewalk.”
“I don’t mind if people want to watch,” I add with a sexy brow lift.
He chuckles and shakes his head while staring at my mouth. His own lips are drawn up in an erotic smirk. Carrying me inside, I move in for another kiss. “You are going to be my greatest achievement,” he murmurs with a smile.
I don’t even know what he means, and I don’t care. I just want him. “Kiss me,” I say.
Before I even realize it, we’re inside an elevator and he’s got me up against the back wall. His mouth is promising a sinfully delicious time the moment we’re in his apartment. The energy bubble inside me is tightening. I can’t wait for this. I can’t wait to lose my virginity to him. He’s sexy, and manly, and so damn alpha. He oozes sexiness. It pours off him, like he knows he has testosterone dripping from his pores.
He opens the door, and walks me down a few steps. I’m thrown on the sofa, like I’m nothing more than a ragdoll.
I lean up on my elbows, watching him undress. He even does that sexily. Slowly and languidly, as if he’s putting on a striptease especially for me. “Hurry up,” I say as I drink in his movements.
“You’re such a greedy little kitty,” he says in his sexy, deep voice.
He slows his movements, which sends me bat-shit crazy. I’m losing my mind. Jumping out of my skin waiting for him. His shirt comes off, and he has tattoos all over his chest and arms. They startle me, not the actual tattoos, but the fact he has them. My eyes drink up the site of the beautiful man standing in front of me. “Jesus,” I whisper and nibble on my bottom lip.
Heat burns through my body, moisture pooling between my legs.
I can’t wait any more, I stand from the sofa, and hurriedly strip my own clothes off. “In a rush, are you?” he teases.
“Yes!” I’m out of my clothes in a matter of seconds. Stripped bare for Edgar. I’m not even modest about my nakedness, I’m turned on and so proud that this luscious man wants me.
The next few hours go by in a blink of an eye. I can’t get enough of him. When we finish the first time, I’m already on him trying to go again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Until finally, I can’t go on any more. I collapse beside him on the bed in a rumpled heap of exhaustion.
Closing my eyes, I fall asleep.
Chapter 11
Waking, my head feels heavy and I’m really thirsty. My memories of what I did with Edgar, are fuzzy at best.
Looking around me, I notice I’m not at home.
“What the… ” I say as I sit up. The sheet slides off me, and I look down at my body. My very naked body. “What… ?”
I’m in an apartment, a small one, that looks more like a suite at a fancy hotel. Finding my clothes, I get dressed and grab my phone. Holy shit, it’s Saturday afternoon. I stare at all the missed calls and messages. I didn’t go home last night. My parents are going to kill me. They must be worried sick.
Dialing Mom’s number, my rapid breathing and shaky hands can barely get under control.
“Hi, darling. Are you having a good time with Kristen?” Mom asks.
Huh? A few seconds pass. I try to wrap my head around what’s happening. Why isn’t Mom mad? “Um, yeah. I just wanted to let you know I’ll be home soon.”
“That’s okay, she said you two were going out for most the day. Will you be home for dinner?”
“Um, yeah, I should be.” It almost feels like I’m in a parallel universe. As my head clears, I can only think of one logical explanation. Mom called Kristen searching for me, and Kristen covered.
I owe her big time.
“Okay, do you want me to come pick you up?”
“No, it’s okay. Love you, Mom.”
“Love you too.”
I hang up, and read the several text messages from Kristen, and from Mom, and from Dad. First it was panic, then relief when they found me at Kristen’s.
But I’m not at Kristen’s, I’m at Edgar’s after a sex-fueled night.
I jump up and make my way out of the bedroom and down a short hallway. I sit on the sofa to call Kristen. “Where have you been? Your Mom called me last night, absolutely panicking because you missed curfew. I covered for you and told her you came here because we’ll be hanging all day today.”
“Thank you so much. Oh my God, Kristen. This is crazy.”
“Yeah, it’s crazy. You’ve never done anything like this before. What happened? Where were you?”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I um… ”
“What?” she snaps, clearly irritated with me. I get it. I’d be angry too if I had her Mom calling me and I had to cover for her.
“I’m kinda seeing this guy. He’s older, and I stayed at his place last night,” I avoid telling her about his questionable profession.
“Like you had a sleep over?” she drags out slowly.
“Um, yeah and other stuff.”
“I knew it! It’s that guy Braydon, right? Did you have sex with him, Hannah?”
A smile breaks out on my face, and my attention is drawn to the pain between my legs. “Um, yes,” I say “yes” in a small squeaky voice.
“You tart!” she says playfully. “If you were hooking up with him and staying the night, you should’ve told me so I could’ve lied better. Lucky your mom likes me and believed me. But, truthfully, I thought she was going to come over here and we both would’ve been busted.”
I let out another sigh. Thank God for Kristen. “Thank you. I owe you a huge favor.”
“Yeah, you do. And I’ll be collecting on it.”
“I’m going home soon, once I figure out where I am.”
“Where you are?” she asks with concern. The lightness of her voice is replaced with worry.
I look around the small apartment. “Yeah, I think we’re at his apartment, but I have no idea where it is, or even where he is.”
“I bet it’s dirty and stinks like a college guy’s dorm room.”
Everything is neat and tidy and within its place. There’s nothing personal out. Honestly, it looks like a hotel suite. The generic prints on the walls, look more like something you’d find adorning the walls of a corporate office than something you’d see in someone’s home.
“Yeah, kinda is. I gotta go, I’ll text ya later. Thanks for covering with my parents.”
We hang up, and I stay seated on the sofa, staring around the room. I search my messages, and there’s none from Edgar telling me when he’ll be back. I send him a text. Should I leave?
I’ve never had to do the walk of shame before. I’ve definitely heard about it, I mean who hasn’t? But to actually do it, nope.
I get a reply within seconds. I’ll be there in a minute.
Standing, I make my way down the small hall, and find the bathroom. I glance into the bedroom, and last night comes flooding back to me. I was insatiable. I couldn’t get enough of Edgar. The moment we’d finish I wanted him again. The rumpled bed is
stripped bare of any sheets or blankets. The pillows are strewn across the floor, and the bedside lamp has been knocked over. We were both adventurous, full of urges to be satisfied. The more he gave, the more I wanted. Both of us were wild and carefree, taking what we wanted from the other. We couldn’t stop. “Whoa,” I whisper as I touch my bruised, raw lips.
Everything was so clear last night. Every touch, smell, feeling was vibrant. We fed off each other. I remember how my skin tingled every time his mouth was on me. I craved him, starving for more, and my memory tells me so was he.
The front door unlocks, and Edgar comes in holding two paper mugs and a brown paper bag.
“Good morning, kitty,” he says as he finds me staring at the disheveled mess where I lost my virginity.
“I didn’t bleed,” I say aloud.
“Because you were totally relaxed.” He leans down, kissing me passionately. He takes control of my body, and I dissolve into a wanton mess. My head spins as he kisses me, everything sparking awake again.
A small part of my brain takes over, telling me to get home before Mom realizes what actually happened. “I need to get home,” I say. I step away before his web draws me back in. He chuckles, and holds out one of the mugs. “What’s this?” I ask before I take it.
“It’s a mocha. That’s what you were drinking the day I met you, so I assume that’s what you like.”
Awww, how sweet. He knows what I like to drink. “Thank you.” I take it and sip on it, although it’s not very hot, more like, lukewarm. He then hands me the paper bag. “What’s this?”
“I didn’t know if you like chocolate chip, or blueberry muffins. I bought you a blueberry muffin.” He leads me out of the hallway, and we sit on the sofa. I tear the paper bag open, and break off a small piece of muffin, popping it in my mouth. “That mouth,” he says, smirking. “What that mouth did last night… ”
My face heats, and I retreat into myself. “I don’t know what came over me.”
“Well, I know what came inside of you.”
I gasp. “Shit, I’m not on birth control.”
“I know, which is why I bought this too.” He takes out a foil-wrapped tablet out of his pocket, and hands it to me. “It’s the morning-after pill. To make sure you don’t get pregnant.”
I take it and swallow it fast. “How did you get this? Don’t you need a prescription?’
“Don’t worry about it. But, I’ll make an appointment with my doctor to put you on the pill.”
“What happened last night was insane. I have never felt so alive, and excited, but that’s not going to happen again for a while, and when it does, you need to wear a condom.”
“I don’t wear condoms,” he declares.
I scrunch my nose in horror.
“Ugh.” I nearly balk at that. “God knows how many diseases you have,” I say too loud. “I have to get tested now. You might have given me something.”
He looks amused. “I gave you something, alright. And you, you’re a damn wildcat. You’re not a kitty, you’re a tiger. I would’ve never known you were so adventurous when it comes to sex. I can’t wait.”
Can’t wait? For what? To have sex with me again? “This has to slow down. It’s going way too fast.” I stand and walk away from him. I need to clear my head.
“This isn’t going to slow down, Hannah. In fact, it’s going to speed up.”
“Edgar.” I place my hands to my head, trying to massage the stress building.
“What?”
Turning, I see how relaxed he is. “This is going too fast for me. I need some time. I can’t do this.”
“You could do it last night, and you were the one begging me for more.”
“I have no idea what happened last night. It was like something overtook my body, and made me crazy horny. But now I have a clearer head, and I need some time. I… I… I can’t… I don’t even know… ” I’m beginning to lose my control. Panic is etching its way inside me. I can’t even think clearly.
“What?”
“I don’t know!” I snap at him. “You’re too much, too intense. You’re not giving me a moment to breathe. You’re demanding, and you want things I’m not sure I’m ready for.”
“You were begging me last night, Hannah. You were the one who, the moment I gave you an orgasm, you were climbing all over me pleading for me to give you more. You were hot, and sexy, and exactly what I’ve been looking for.”
What he’s been looking for?
I take several deep breaths, trying my hardest to calm my frantic brain, and my agitated nerves. “What’s happening to me?” I whisper, ashamed of myself for so many reasons. I never lose control. I’m never so aggressive in anything. But last night, I was forceful during sex. Insistent, even. “I need some time,” I say again as I search around the room for my shoes. I stop abruptly, not being able to focus on any one thing in particular. “Is this where you live?”
“This is one of my places,” he cockily replies. There’s something more to his answer, but I’m in no mood to actually try to figure him out. “Can you take me home, please?”
Staring at me, I feel like he’s assessing me. He pulls his phone out, and tells his driver to pull the car around to the front. His eyes stay on me. I can tell by his hard stare how unhappy he is with me for leaving. But I can’t stay here. He does something to me, and when I’m around him I feel like all my willpower disappears. Vanishes.
He takes another moment or so, staring at me, before he stands and moves to stand beside me. “I’ll see you later,” he says as he kisses me on the cheek and leads me toward the door.
“You’re not coming?” I feel so used. My heart breaks a little, upset that he’s not coming with me in the car.
“I have work to do.” He gives me another kiss, and holds the door open for me.
I step out into the corridor, where I take note of the numbers on the door opposite. “Is this a hotel?” I ask feeling even more shame creeping up.
“Yes,” his reply is short and curt.
“Oh.” I look around, unsure on what happens next. A huge lump of humiliation lodges itself firmly in my throat. Tears well up behind my eyes. Why do I feel like he’s done with me? He got sex, and now that’s it. I’m nothing to him. “Well done,” I say holding onto every emotion inside my body.
“On?” he asks. His cold demeanor becoming icier.
“Conquering me,” I say with a fake smile. “Well done.” Turning, I walk away following the ‘exit’ signs.
The moment I get to the elevator, I press the button for down, and wait until it arrives. I know he’s not going to come after me, he’s not that type of man.
My stomach lets out a small rumble. I remember I didn’t eat last night, and I left the muffin and mocha back in his room. “Good going, Hannah,” I scold myself while holding back my tears. “Good going.” I stare down for a moment, ashamed with myself.
The doors open, and I get in, pressing the button for the lobby. Thankfully, I’m alone and don’t have to share the car with anyone. I couldn’t handle the stares. The elevator quickly reaches the ground, and when it does, I falter in my step to leave the elevator. I can hear lots of people in the lobby, moving around, checking in and checking out.
My stomach tightens, and my pulse quickens as I leave.
So this is what the walk of shame feels like.
My cheeks flush with disgrace as I walk past the front desk and the concierge. I know no one is looking at me, but it feels like everyone’s eyes are boring into me, and they’re all laughing and pointing at me, because they know what I’ve done. I can see the black car waiting for me, my bodyguard waiting with scornful amusement. I make eye contact with him, and laughter is dancing in his eyes. He finds this highly amusing, which means I’m not the first girl Edgar has brought here, and I know I won’t be the last.
I turn right, and head across the road where I can see taxis.
Bringing up the Uber app on my phone, I see there’s an Uber near here. So, I bo
ok it, and wait near the cabs. I’d rather they look at me weirdly, than experience my bodyguard laughing at me, making me feel worse.
The Uber arrives, and I slink into the back quietly. Thankfully, it’s an old lady, and she’s chatty. I’m not really listening to her. Instead, I think about the peculiar night I had. What came over me? Why did I act like an insatiable animal?
I’m so grateful the night is over, and obviously, Edgar and I are over too.
Fine.
Anger rises.
Fine! What the hell, you’re not going to let him get away with that, are you?
Hell no, I’m not. I take my phone out, and send him a message. You’re an asshole. I hate you. There, take that! I give myself an internal high-five.
Immediately I get a text back. Thinking of my mouth on you?
It’s like I have a switch inside me. He says these things, or I hear his voice, and I become instantly aroused.
Pieces of last night flash in my mind. All the good pieces. Where his mouth was, where my mouth was, what we did. How hungry I was for what we did. Without any warning, I burst into laughter. The Uber lady jumps a little. “Are you alright, sugar? You gave me a fright,” she says as she looks at me in the rearview mirror.
“Sorry,” I say as I regain my thoughts. “I just had a thought, and it made me laugh.”
“Well.” She forces a smile on her face. “I’m glad you’re happy.”
I turn to look at the scenery as we continue on home. So many thoughts and emotions are pulsating through me. I really can’t understand why I was so horny and turned on last night. It makes no sense.
We pull up two houses away from home, and I get out, thanking the woman. I know I paid her, but courtesy costs nothing.
I run my hands over my still-sensitive mouth, and try to check myself without a mirror. I need to make sure I don’t look like I’ve been having sex all night. I pull my hair back into a tight bun to hide the small birds nest on the crown of my head.
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