Edge of Darkness Box Set

by Margaret McHeyzer

  My heart rate escalates as I approach home, knowing Mom’s going to ask me about last night. Damn it, I have no idea what Kristen told her; I should’ve asked her. But, if I avoid her, then maybe she won’t ask me. I’ll go straight to my room, grab my clothes, have a shower then back to my room and stay in there for as long as I can.

  Yep, sounds like an awesome plan.

  I head inside, trying to be quiet. Neither Mom nor Dad are anywhere. I don’t call out. I don’t want them to know I’m here. As swiftly as I can, I make my way to my bedroom, get some clothes, and head into the bathroom.

  The moment I’m inside, I lock the door and take a deep breath. Phew, I made it.

  Turning the shower on, I strip and get inside. Looking down at my body, I’m shocked to see bruises on my arms, legs, stomach, and thighs. “Jesus,” I breathe, easily identifying the bruises as finger marks.

  The water falls over my body, and I think about last night. Sex was amazing. Completely unlike anything I could have imagined it would be like. There was an insatiable beast inside me. Nothing Edgar could do was enough for me. I wanted it harder, faster, and I wanted more. I couldn’t stop. It was almost like every emotion inside me was heightened, spiked to the maximum.

  Another emotion creeps through me. It starts as a small bubble, and continues to build. Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me? I want Edgar again. Right now.

  But he’s not here.

  I want that feeling. That endorphin high, so high I could fly past the clouds to the edge of infinity.

  Yes! That’s what it was. A combination of euphoric sex, mixed with sensual overdose.

  God, this is insane, but I can’t wait for it to happen again.

  Chapter 12

  I was waiting for the wrath of my parents because I didn’t come home, but… I didn’t get it. It made me feel even worse, because not only did I successfully deceive them, but I also stayed out with a boy. No, not a boy. A man who’s eleven years older than me. And who happens to be a drug dealer.

  The worst thing about this is that I’m planning to spend another night with him, because he’s so damned addictive. Remembering what he did to me instantly makes me smile. He plays my body like a pianist plays the piano at Carnegie Hall for a sold-out audience.

  He hasn’t talked to me since I left his apartment, but I’m craving him. I know my need for him makes it inevitable I’ll see him again.

  I’ve been doing research, and I found sex releases endorphins to make you happy. So, maybe that’s what it is and why I want to go back to him so desperately. My biggest worry is the lying. I really don’t like lying, but I’ve done so much of it lately to everyone I love, that one more time won’t really hurt.

  I haven’t texted or called Edgar since I got home on the weekend. And I doubt he’ll be taking me to school today although I really want him to. But it might not be a good idea if he does, because I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my hands to myself.

  Getting dressed, I head out to the kitchen, knowing both of my parents have already left for work.

  Yesterday was a weird day. I was exhausted, but edgy. It felt like I had a hangover with an added effect of being moody too. Today’s not so bad. I managed to sleep some, though I needed much more.

  I’m feeling anxious. My hands have a slight quiver to them as I try and pour some milk over my cereal. My mind is jumping around, unable to keep one thought steady inside my head. Edgar is prominent though, but other snippets of thoughts and worries bounce around.

  “Get it together, he only wanted sex,” I say to myself. “I can’t believe I was so stupid.” I shake my head at my own stupidity.

  Placing the cereal bowl on the counter top, I huff at myself in frustration. I’m such a dumb-ass. A cute guy says all the right things, does all the right things, and I fall for it. Hook, line, and sinker. Shame replaces all other emotions. I gave up my virginity to someone like him. My stomach churns with nausea. I knew all along nothing good would come of this. Edgar is not a good man. He admits it himself. Why on earth would I think he’d be different with me?

  Neglecting my barely eaten cereal, I discard it, and rinse out my bowl. I head into my room, get my bag ready, shove my laptop into it and slip my shoes on. My head really isn’t in it. I’m trying to focus on the now, rather than what happened. But putting something so monumental behind me isn’t easy. He took my damned virginity, and he hasn’t even bothered to call me. Do I really mean so little to him?

  I open the front door, and my heart sinks even further. No car. No bodyguard. No Edgar.

  The reality hits me so hard, I burst into tears. We really are over.

  Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I start walking toward the bus stop. But my tears are bordering on uncontrollable, and I don’t want anyone looking at me or asking me what’s wrong. So I continue walking toward school, even though I know I’ll be late by the time I get there.

  I get halfway down the street and turn the corner when I see the black car approaching me. My tears stop immediately. He’s here. My broken heart is now beating strongly. My pulse races as the black car comes to an abrupt stop just as it passes me.

  I want to run to him, but I’m also conflicted because he’s hurt me and I want him to work for my forgiveness.

  I lower my head, pretending I didn’t see him, and pick up my pace in walking. I hear the car turning around. I speed up, even though I know I can’t outrun a car. I don’t want to, either. I just want him to know I’m hurt.

  “Get in,” he says as the car rolls beside me.

  “No,” I reply, even though there’s no conviction to my tone.

  “Get in!” he says again, this time more forcefully.

  I dig my heels in, now becoming aroused and excited at the potential outcome of my stubbornness.

  The car drives ahead a few feet, and stops with a screech of the tires. Edgar gets out, comes to me, bends, and slings me over his shoulder carrying me toward his car. “Put me down!” I yell as I punch him on the back.

  Secretly, I’m elated he’s come for me, and even happier he’s picked me up like this.

  Seriously, Hannah, what the hell is wrong with you?

  “You’re acting like a spoiled brat,” he says and throws me like a rag doll into the back of his car.

  “You’re being a jerk,” I spit back. “You screwed me and then didn’t even bother calling. You hurt me.” The tears threaten again. I’m so damned emotional. One moment I’m crying, the next I’m angry, and then I switch to crazy turned-on.

  “I got you a mocha.” He holds the take-away cup out to me.

  “I don’t want it.” I cross my arms in front of my chest and sulk.

  “Drink the damn thing.” He forces it further toward me.

  Reluctantly, I reach out to grab it. “I haven’t had much to eat and I’m hungry.”

  “Lucky I brought you a chocolate chip muffin then.” He holds the paper bag out to me. Again, I slowly reach out, and take it.

  “Why were you a jerk?”

  He lifts one shoulder non-committal. “I had things I had to take care of.”

  “Like what?” I sip on my mocha. Yum, it tastes so good.

  “Work.”

  The bodyguard chuckles. What is it with him? He’s always chuckling when Edgar tells me things as if they have a double meaning. Anger suddenly spurs through me. “Were you with another woman?” I ask, sadness and anger both competing for the top emotion.

  A smirk appears quite quickly. I’m not sure how to take that. Is it a yes, or a no? I want to clarify, but I don’t want the answer either. I’d rather be in my happy place and not know than to ask and have my heart ripped apart all over again.

  I feel like I’m on the brink of collapse. Not physically, but mentally. I can’t figure this out, and I want to. But Edgar is holding virtually every card of the deck, and he’s holding them close to his chest. I feel like his puppet. He pulls the strings and I jump at whatever he says.

  How have I fallen so d
eeply, so quickly?

  “No,” he finally responds.

  I let out a huge sigh. He wasn’t with another woman, which gives me hope I’m his only woman. “Okay,” I say with a smile. Sipping on mocha, the taste is divine, and the warmth traveling down my throat makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Or maybe it’s the fact Edgar wasn’t with anyone else.

  “Why were you walking to school?” he asks.

  “I thought you weren’t going to pick me up.”

  “Why didn’t you catch the bus?” I lift my shoulders and lower my head. “Hannah, look at me.” Slowly I lift my eyes, and find his dark stare intimidating. “Hannah,” he says my name slowly.

  It gives me chills. Small bumps on my arms. He’s so sexy. “I wanted to walk,” I say meekly.

  “Why?” The authority to his tone sends me crazy.

  “Because I was upset, and didn’t want anyone seeing me crying.”

  “Why?” I lower my gaze again. Sipping on my delicious mocha, I try to avoid answering the question. “Hannah?” his dark tone crawls inside me. It claws its power over me.

  “Because I thought we were over.”

  He lets out a small laugh. Not quite a chuckle, more like a snort. I can feel him rolling his eyes at my pathetic ‘school-girl’ ways. “I’m nowhere near finished with you.”

  The words tattoo themselves on me. They hold dominion and power over me. My skin springs to life. I want him to touch me, to tell me I’m his only girl, how there’s no one else but me. I want to meld myself to him, and be everywhere he is.

  The desire is taking over, the need for him is getting stronger by the second. But I don’t trust myself not climb on top of him, and have my wicked way with him in the back of the car. So, I drink my mocha and count to twenty in my head. If I can stop this from happening, I’ll be okay.

  But the need is greater than anything I’ve ever felt before.

  It’s more than desire; it’s more than want. The feeling is more urgent, more potent than any drug anyone can take.

  This is insane. I’m in the car for all of ten minutes with Edgar, and I’m climbing out of my skin trying to contain the desire I have clawing inside.

  I finish my mocha. The paper bag with the chocolate chip muffin is between us. I stare at the bag, but my eyes keep darting across to Edgar’s sexy thighs.

  My leg twitches slightly, and I feel the adrenaline spiking. My heartrate races, and my mouth dries from the exuberant hunger building.

  My body is reacting to him. Everything is yearning for him. I look out the window, and see we’re already parked at the school. Everyone’s arriving, and I’m sitting in here seriously considering ditching school so I can be with Edgar.

  I’ve gotta get my head on straight. I can’t do that. I have to go in.

  “Thank you for the ride,” I say as I grab my bag.

  He sits back, relaxed in his seat, staring at me. He looks like he knows what’s going through my head. He’s smiling at me, with one eyebrow cocked up. God, he’s so sexy. “You sure you want to go?”

  “I’m sure I need to go if I’m going to get into college.”

  “Such a shame,” he says with a tsk. “I was hoping to spend the day with you.”

  “You could have done that yesterday, but you chose not to call.” Snap.

  “I was busy yesterday. But I’m not busy today.”

  The temptation is definitely there. I want to go with him, but I also know, the school will call my parents and find out why I’m not there. “I can’t,” I say in a pained voice. The pain is real though, I really, really want to spend time with him.

  “Your loss.” He rests his hand on his thigh, very close to his groin.

  I climb back into the car, and over to him. All my inhibitions have totally evaporated. He does something to me that makes me do things I ordinarily would never do in public. “God, I want you,” I say while grinding against him.

  He grabs my butt, and squeezes tightly. I feel the car jerk forward, and I know we’re in motion.

  My brain is struggling to fight the desire. The craving is winning. By a landslide. I don’t even care that I’m going to get into trouble with my parents. I have no worry for what will happen. Only what’s happening now in the back of the car.

  Desperate, I undress Edgar. I know there are two guys in the front of the car; they’re so close I can reach out and touch them. But my need for Edgar is insatiable.

  I can’t understand why this is happening, I’ve never been the type who likes being the center of attention, but something is building. It’s screaming at me to let all my self-control go and be free. This feeling is euphoric and sexy.

  “Wait,” Edgar whispers.

  But I can’t wait, I need him, now. “No,” I say as I greedily take his mouth with mine.

  “Wait!” He pushes on my shoulders to set me away from him. The beast inside is hungry, it needs to be fed.

  “Fine, if you don’t want me, then one of them will.” I indicate the two men in the front seat with a tilt of my head. I lean back, away from Edgar, and try to grope the bodyguard.

  Hell! What am I doing? My sanity is slipping. My mind is being invaded by something dangerous, yet addictive. I shouldn’t be doing this, but I can’t help but feel intoxicated by my own sensuality.

  Edgar stares at me, amused. “Let her,” he says to my bodyguard.

  That throws me for a second. He thinks I won’t. He’s testing me.

  Lifting my chin, I gaze into Edgar’s darkened eyes. “Really?” I playfully say as my hand slips further down the bodyguard’s arm.

  “Really,” he says so assuredly.

  I feel the bodyguard and for a moment I’m hit with a sickening dirty emotion. I shouldn’t be doing this, but I want to show Edgar how I have the upper hand. What I want, goes.

  Edgar is enjoying the show way too much to stop me. I can feel his arousal growing by the second. He’s getting turned on, and I’m getting more turned on that he’s finding this sexy.

  The car comes to a stop, and Edgar pulls me out of the car quickly. We’re back at his hotel suite, and inside within a few moments. “Don’t let me do the walk of shame again,” I plead with him.

  “Never, kitty.” He leans down and kisses me. The kiss grows hungrier. I become more desperate. My mind is already skipping ahead, making plans for what I want to do with him.

  We’re up in the suite in a matter of minutes, but it seems like forever. I’m desperate for him.

  I strip off as he’s kissing me. Ready… waiting.

  “Do you want to have a lot of fun?” he asks me as his gaze wanders my body.

  “So much,” I practically beg.

  “Then wait here for a moment.” He walks off to his room, and is back within a minute. He’s holding a glass pipe in one hand, and a little bag with tiny rocks in the other. “This will make you go crazy,” he says as he places a few of the rocks in the end of the pipe.

  My senses overload. I think this is crystal meth. I step back. I’m no idiot. That shit is highly addictive. Crazy even. “I’m not doing that,” I say as I step back.

  “It’s not addictive,” he replies as he holds the pipe out for me.

  “I don’t want to do drugs, Edgar. That’s not something I’m interested in.”

  “Why? It’s something you can use once, we can have a lot of fun, and you don’t have to use it again.”

  “Then why don’t you smoke it?”

  “I already did, this morning.”

  I’m still shaking my head, not wanting to touch that shit. “No, Edgar.” But my head is fighting with me again. It’s telling me, ‘once won’t hurt.’ He steps forward, holding the glass pipe closer to me. “Edgar,” I say with a sigh.

  “It’s not like you’re injecting anything. I wouldn’t let you do that. But this, this is okay. Come on, kitty. I’ll look after you.” I look down to my toes, not sure what to do. “Do you remember how much fun we had the other night?” Lifting my head, I slowly nod. “Do you know why
we had so much fun?” Where’s he going with this? Crinkling my brows, I shake my head. “Because I gave you some liquid meth in your champagne.”

  “What? Why would you do that?”

  “Just to relax you. You were so uptight, and I thought you’d have more fun if you relaxed. It wasn’t a lot, just a little bit. Like now, this isn’t a lot. It’s barely anything. Look.” He holds the pipe out for me to see what he’s put in there. He’s right. There isn’t a lot in the pipe.

  “I don’t know,” I say, my stomach knotting with anticipation. A part of me wants to try it because he said it’s not addictive, but another part is screaming no because I know it has the potential to screw me up.

  “If you don’t want it, that’s okay. We’ll have regular boring sex, but if you do have it again, we’ll have all the fun you want to have. Think how it was on our date. Do you remember what it felt like?”

  “It was mind-blowing,” I say with a smile. The things we did were out of this world.

  “It just won’t be as good for you.”

  Reluctantly, I step forward. “Just once. No more after this,” I say to Edgar.

  “Just once,” he says with a smile.

  “What do I do?” I ask.

  “I’ll teach you, kitty.”

  I smile at Edgar and trust in him to look after me. Wrapping my lips around the pipe, I inhale.

  Chapter 13

  Two weeks later.

  Lying in bed, my brain hasn’t stopped. I need some. So bad. Edgar gave me a little bit yesterday before school, but I need more. I can’t seem to think straight at all. My head hurts.

  “Good morning, sweetheart. Want to come to the mall with me?” Mom asks as she enters my bedroom.

  “God, Mom. Get out!” I scream at her.

  Ugh, stop it, Hannah. I just need a little bit, then I’ll quit. I just need a bit to get me through.

  Mom’s eyes widen, and her mouth falls closed. I’ve made her sad. Who cares, she deserves it. She shouldn’t be coming in here without knocking. “I’ll go fix you some breakfast,” she says in a small voice.