Martin and the other guy look between themselves, then Martin slowly turns in his seat to stare at me. “You’re willing to sleep with us both just to let you go?” I nod my head furiously. The driver shakes his head. Martin looks like I’ve stabbed his dog in the gut. “I’m going to do something I usually wouldn’t do.”
Finally, he’s going to take me up on my offer. “Yeah,” I say in a husky voice trying to make him excited.
“I’m going to find out who your parents are, and I’m going to insist they put you in rehab.”
The hope drains away from me. He’s going to send me back to them. They don’t understand. “I’m not a fucking junkie,” I spit toward him. I try to move my arm so I can hit again. If I’m going to jail, I may as well go for beating the shit out of this cocky bastard. But I can’t move them. They’re secured behind my back. “I fucking hate you. You’re like everyone else.”
“What? Trying to help by getting you clean?”
“I’m not addicted. I don’t have a problem.” I literally spit at him. Disgusting pig. I hate him so much.
“You can’t see it because you’re in the deep of it. But I can tell you, you’re an addict. Your arms are clean, so I doubt it’s heroin. Judging by your skin, and how bad you look, I’d say it’s meth. Right?”
I attempt to sit back in the seat, proud of myself for spitting at him. “Filthy pig.” But I can’t sit back, not with the handcuffs biting into my wrists. I try and maneuver them off, maybe I can be a magician and wiggle out of them. Then I can make a run for it when they get me back to the police station.
But I can’t make them budge. If anything, they’re getting tighter.
“This will be the best thing for you, Hannah,” Martin says as I fight the cuffs.
“How would you know? You’re probably from some rich family who loves you.”
“You have no idea where I’ve come from and what I’ve gone through. You’d best not speak unless you know all the facts.”
“Great, send me back to them.” The them is my parents. “You have no idea the huge mistake you’re making.”
“Why? What’s so bad about your parents?”
I can’t go back there. They won’t understand how much I love Edgar and how he looks after me. They’ll treat me like a kid, and God damn it, I’m not a kid. I’m a woman, someone Edgar loves and cherishes. “My father beats me,” I say without a quiver to my voice. “And my mom, she tried selling me to her boyfriend for sex. Yeah, great family.”
“Your parents are divorced?” he asks.
Oh shit, I just lied again. Shit, I have to follow through with this. “Yeah.” My voice trembles. “And they don’t have time for me. Dad has a new girlfriend, and he hates me, and Mom is the drug user, not me.” The rest of the lies follow so easily. Too easily. “I’m not going back there.”
“Well, I can tell you right now, you’re under age. And unless you have a relative who can come down and bail you out, you’ll be going to jail.”
I don’t want my parents here. There’ll lecture me, and tell me how disappointed they are in me, and that Edgar is a bad influence. They’ll try to stop me from seeing him, and they’ll put me under house arrest. “Call my grandmother, she’ll come and get me.”
The car rolls to a stop at the police station, and Martin helps me out of the car. Regardless of the fact that I spat at him, he’s still being gentle with me. He takes me down a cold, long hall, and pulls me into a cell before he closes the door behind the both of us. “Who’s your supplier, Hannah?”
“My supplier? I don’t have a supplier. And as I’ve told you, I don’t have a problem. I can stop any time I want.”
The shakes are setting in, and my stomach is roiling with nausea. “I might be a while calling your grandmother. Which means, you’re going to start hurting soon, if you’re not already.”
“Why are you doing this? Do you get off on locking up pretty young girls?” I smirk at him, knowing how good I look.
“To me, you look like a junkie. There’s nothing pretty about you. Not now. But there can be, if you get clean.”
“I’m not a junkie,” I say through a clenched jaw. “I told you already.”
He nods his head, and his face mellows. He looks like he feels sorry for me. “Tell me about whoever gives you the drugs.”
“There’s nothing to tell. He loves me.”
“Of course, he does. That’s why he keeps giving you more drugs. Does he ask you to do anything for him?”
“Like what” I ask with clear distain. “He doesn’t ask me to do anything.”
“Does he ask you to have sex with other people.”
I lean in and whisper, “He doesn’t have to ask, I love doing it.”
He shakes his head again. “You’re not in too deep yet, Hannah. You can get out of this before you end up dead. Or with some disease you can never get rid of. At this moment, you’re a statistic, and not a good one.”
“Fuck you,” I say to him, roll my eyes and look away. “You have no idea about me, but you’re all for judging me. Isn’t that a bit of a double standard, considering you told me not to do that to you?”
“Really?”
“Whatever, just leave me alone.”
He stands and makes his way out of the cell. He then instructs me to stand, turn around and back up to the bars, where he takes the cuffs off my wrists. “And by the way Hannah, the only thing I’ve believed that’s come out of your mouth, is that your name is Hannah. Everything else I know is a lie. Your father doesn’t beat you, your mother hasn’t tried pimping you out. You’ve probably got good parents who are worried sick about you. I bet if you call this boyfriend, and call your parents, your parents will be here in a heartbeat, but the boyfriend won’t. He doesn’t care about you. To him, you’re probably a commodity, and nothing else.”
“Goes to show how much you know, because Edgar, loves me.” I stroll back to the bench seat in the cell and sit down. “Call him, get him on the phone. He’ll be here so fast. Unlike my parents.”
“The biggest shame about this is not how you think other people see you, but it’s how you see yourself.” And with those words, he leaves.
I hate him so much.
But one thing he’s said is a hundred percent true. I’m hurting. And soon, I’m going to need a small hit from the pipe so I stop hurting. Just a little one. Not too much. Because I’m not an addict.
I can stop anytime I want.
I just don’t want to.
Chapter 18
“Sweetheart!” Mom cries when she sees me. She steps in for a hug, but I push her away. “You look so different.”
“Hannah?” Dad mumbles as he stands back, assessing me.
“Yeah, whatever.” I roll my eyes and push past him and Mom. “Have you paid my bail, or what?”
“We did. But, what’s happened?” Mom asks.
“I’m just living my life. Sorry if it disappoints you.”
Mom gasps, and tears fill her eyes. “I’m concerned and worried.”
“Whatever,” I say again. Martin is standing beside my parents, he has a smug look on his face. “Can I go, or what?” Pain is torturing every part of me. My skin is so sensitive I feel like it’s about to erupt into flames. My eyes hurt. Even my hair hurts. I’ve never felt so much pain in my life as I’m in right now.
“No. You have to go to rehab before your appearance at court.”
“What? That’s bullshit, and you know it. You tried to grab me, and I was defending myself. And we all know I don’t have a problem. So why do I need to go to rehab?”
“Thank you, Officer York, we’ll get her into rehab first thing tomorrow morning. But tonight, she needs a shower, and something to eat. Thank you, again.” My Dad shakes his hand, and then Mom does too.
“I don’t want to see you like this again, Hannah.”
I roll my eyes and make a gesture that mimics jerking off. “Whatever.” Then I stick my middle finger up at him.
“Hannah!
” Mom scolds.
And this is the reason I don’t want to go back to their house again. I don’t fit in there anymore. I can’t express who I am with them trying to crush me.
Dad goes ahead, and by the time Mom and I are out the front door, Dad’s pulled the car around. Mom opens the back door for me and I slide in. I’m already formulating a plan to get out. I just need to call Edgar to come and get me. He’ll be worried sick about me. I know I’m stressing out because I’m worried about him and what he’s going through.
Dad and Mom are talking in the front, and I’m holding on to the hope of seeing Edgar. It’s bordering on exhausting listening to these two idiots go on about how much they missed me, and how everything’s going to be different now I’m home.
The darkness outside tells me I’ve been in the jail cell for too long. The shakes and the sweats confirm it. I need the pipe. Just a little bit. Not enough to get me high, just enough to get me through the next few hours.
When they go to sleep, you can sneak out.
Perfect, I’ll wait ’til they’re in bed, and leave. Wait, I need money in case Edgar doesn’t want to come pick me up. I know he loves me, but he does have a life other than me. I’ll get some cash out of Mom’s purse. I’ve done it before, I can do it again.
Yep, wait ’til they’re asleep, take the money, and run. But how will I call Edgar? I’ll take Dad’s phone. He usually leaves it out on the kitchen counter charging overnight.
The car pulls into the garage at home, and I drag my feet heading into the house. “Do you want to take a shower?’ Mom asks.
“Why? Do I stink?” I retort sharply.
“Hey, don’t speak to your mother like that. She’s just asking if you’d like a shower.”
“We’re so happy to have you home,” Mom says as she sidles up next to Dad. He hugs her, and I roll my eyes at how fake they are.
“Really? You two are going to stand there and pretend everything is all ‘happy family’?”
Dad narrows his brows, and Mom tilts her head to the side. “What are you talking about?” Dad asks.
“Yeah, you’re going to pretend you don’t have a gambling addiction.” Dad’s face looks puzzled. “And you’re going to tell me you’re not screwing around behind Dad’s back. But yeah, I’m the one with the problem.” I stomp down the hallway toward my bedroom. “Great fucking family we have! A gambler and a whore. No wonder I ran away.” I slam the door to my room and pace inside it.
Looking around my old room, even this nauseates me. Everything is so bland. The bedding, the walls… everything. “Ugh, no wonder,” I mumble to myself.
“Hannah, come out so we can talk.” Dad knocks on the door.
“Go away. I want to be left alone. Don’t you get it?”
“No, I’m not going anywhere until you come out and talk to us.”
Shit, if he doesn’t go anywhere, that means I can’t make a run for it tonight. Okay, you can do this Hannah. Tell them what they want to hear, then when they’re asleep, you can get out of here. I pull my shoulders back and open the door. “Fine, talk.”
“Come to the kitchen. We can have something to eat and drink.”
I just need the damn pipe. That’s all I need. Nothing else. But remember, tell them what they want to hear, put them at ease, and you can get to the pipe. “Fine.” I close the door behind me, and follow Dad into the kitchen, where Mom’s already made me a sandwich. There’s a glass of juice beside the plate. She has a mug of coffee for herself, and one for Dad. I sit in front of the plate, and stare at it. “Thanks,” I mumble, even though I don’t pick it up to eat it.
“Where have you been?” Mom asks once we’re all seated.
“At a friend’s.”
“Do we know this friend?”
“Nope.” I pick half the sandwich up and nibble on it. If I eat, I can’t answer their stupid questions, and it’ll take my mind off the pain.
“Hannah, you’ve been gone for nearly two months. We’ve been everywhere trying to find you. We even filed a missing person report. That’s how they found us when you were arrested.”
Huh? Wait, that’s right, I didn’t give Martin their phone number. Oh man, I must’ve been seriously messed up if I can’t remember that. “Whatever. I’m back now. What do you want?”
“We want you to be accountable for your actions. You might end up going to jail because you punched a police officer in the face. Do you know how serious that is?”
“Whatever.” I shrug.
“You’re saying that a lot. Don’t you even care?”
“Why would I when he was trying to molest me? I had to punch him to get him off of me.”
Mom sighs and looks to Dad. “We know what happened, and that’s not the truth.”
“Yes, it is!” I shout at them. “You believe everyone but me.” I shake my head and cross my arms in front of me. “This is bullshit. You’re full of shit.”
“Stop that.” Dad slams his hand on the table, it makes Mom and me jump. “Can’t you see what you’re doing to yourself?’
“Me!? That’s a laugh, coming from you.” I stand and tip my chair over in anger. “And don’t bother trying to stop me. You may have hit me before but I won’t let you lay a hand on me again,” I scream at Dad while pointing my finger in his face.
“Hannah, what are you talking about? I’ve never hit you.”
“Really? How convenient that you forgot the time you punched me in the side of the head because I didn’t get your coffee to you the moment you woke up. And you… ” I stare at Mom, “… you’re just as bad as him. You tried to molest me when I was in the shower. You’re both scum. At least Edgar loves me. You two, you’re pathetic.” I run to my room and slam the door shut.
Cowards and liars. That’s all they are.
I can hear Mom crying from my room. I don’t even feel bad. Why should I? They’ve tried doing some horrible things to me, and they want me to feel bad? No way. Not gonna happen.
I grab a change of clothes and go for a shower. The hot water on my skin is irritating. I hate the pain I’m feeling. I can’t wait to get out of here. These people are liars and not good people.
When I finish in the shower, I open the door to find Mom standing out in the hallway. “What do you want?” I grumble as I walk past her.
“I wanted to tell you that grandma passed away last month.”
Turning to look at her, I notice how she’s in dark clothes. Tears are spilling down over her cheeks, and she looks really sad. “She was old,” I reply. “That’s what happens to old people.”
Mom cries some more. God, she’s really turning it on. “Hannah, what happened to you?” she asks in a small voice.
“I woke up and got away from this house of hell.”
I go straight into my room, and slam the door so hard, it vibrates the wall. I hate being alone, especially here. It reminds me of what I’m missing back in my motel room. Edgar lets me have a smoke of the pipe before he leaves, and that keeps me going until I see him again.
I start to pull my hair. “You’re such an idiot. Why did you have to leave? You should’ve stayed where Edgar told you to stay, you wouldn’t be here if you had.” I tug on the ends of my hair and pull my fists back to discover tufts of hair in them. You have to get out of here.
Suddenly, I get a brainstorm. I can pack some clothes, open the window, jump out and run. But that still leaves me with no money. Or any way of getting in contact with Edgar. Worry overtakes me, he must be so anxious. I bet he’s searching everywhere for me.
Packing, I keep listening to the voices talking in the kitchen. When I can’t hear them anymore, I place my ear to the door to make sure they’ve gone to their room. I open it, and I can’t hear anything except my own heartbeat in my ears, and the scream of the voice in my head telling me to get out of here and back to Edgar.
I poke my head out, still listening. They’ve moved from the kitchen and are now in their room. Good, this gives me a few moments to get out in the ki
tchen, take what I can and make a run for it. There’s a small night light in the family room; it’s giving me just enough illumination to see what I’m doing. I look around for Mom’s purse, and see her bag sitting on one of the kitchen bar stools. I rifle through it, and find her wallet is missing. But my hand does touch something cold and metallic. I bring it out to find it’s Grandma’s engagement ring. Yes, I can give this to Edgar in exchange for picking me up. I just need Dad’s phone. It’s charging overnight on the counter, just like it always is.
Taking it off charge, I see it has three bars of battery. That’s enough. I only need it long enough to call Edgar.
I stuff it in my pocket, along with Grandma’s ring, pick my bag up, and sneak to the front door.
“See ya later, fuckers,” I whisper, then giggle as I open the front door, close it quietly and run down the road.
When I’m a few streets away, I start laughing. Yes! I did it. I got out of there, and they have no idea I’m gone. Instead they were too busy in their room, probably having sex and not caring about me anyway. I could hear them talking, but that was probably noise of them having sex.
It’s full dark now, and it won’t be light for a long time. I need to get back before Edgar gets any more worried about me.
Dialing his number, I wait for a few seconds before he answers the call. “Yes,” he snaps into the phone.
“It’s me, Hannah.”
“Where the hell have you been?” he roars into the phone. “You disappeared, and I had no idea where you were.”
“I got arrested.”
“What!” he screams louder. “Where are you?”
“I’m near my parent’s house. Down past the bus stop. I’m so sorry I’ve worried you.”
“Wait there, we’re on our way.”
He hangs up, and I burst into tears. I can’t believe how worried he sounded. I’m so ashamed of myself. I vow to make it up to him any way I can. I hide behind a car parked in someone’s driveway and wait for Edgar to come and get me. I keep peeping around every time I hear a car approaching. One car passes, and it’s Dad’s. He’s driving slow, and must be looking for me. I’m never going back there again. Not after all the horrible things they’ve done to me.
Edge of Darkness Box Set Page 17