“Yeah, I’m okay. He was asking about Levi and said he hopes one day I’ll trust him enough to tell him.”
“I gotta say, I think he’s all right. I don’t know, Dakota, I don’t think he did that to you,” she whispers as she tilts her head slightly so no one can hear us. “I’ve got a good feeling about him.”
I shrug my shoulders and crinkle my nose. “I don’t know anymore, Sam. You’re the only person, other than Mom and Dad I trust.”
“I’m not saying you should fully trust him, just cut him some slack. I really don’t think he’s the one who hurt you.”
“I s’pose.”
“Ladies, are you ready to head off?” Miles asks as he and Reece both come back to the table.
Reece looks at the half eaten key lime pie on my plate and says, “Not good?”
“It was, I’m just so stuffed.”
“Then you’re ready? Unless of course you’ve changed your mind?” Reece’s voice is overshadowed by sadness. It seems as though he really wants us to continue on with them.
“You ready?” Sam asks looking at me. I nod and stand from the bench seat, grabbing my trash. “Let’s go.”
I grab her trash too and go to take it to the bin. “Here, let me.” Reece holds out his hands to take them. A big, friendly grin easily sprawls across his face. We head off to the side shows. Reece spots a giant stuffed dog and heads straight for it. “We have to win this for Luke,” he says as he turns to Miles.
It’s a shooting game where there are ducks going across a makeshift pond, and you have to use a carnival gun to shoot at them.
“You need to shoot six ducks,” the carny says as he takes Miles’ money.
“Six, you can do this one,” Reece says to Miles.
“Nah, not me.” He holds his hands up in resignation and steps back chuckling. “C’mon, Dakota, give it a go.”
I look to Reece who offers me the gun, then at Miles, whose gentle smile is encouraging me to have a go. “I’ve never been interested in this game before,” I admit.
“Well it’s not for you, it’s for my brother, so you better get interested in it,” Miles says and softly shoves me toward the game.
“You can do this, just pretend they’re Levi and Lindsey,” Sam says and laughs at her own joke.
I grab the gun, and look over my shoulder at Sam. Reece chuckles too, but he puts his hand up to his face to cover the snickering. “Come on, Dakota.”
I take a breath in, line the gun up with a duck, and shoot. The first one falls over. “YAY!” I scream in excitement as I jump up and down on the spot. “Oh my God, I got it!”
“Five more to go,” the carny guy says, in a bored monotone.
“How many shots do I have?”
“Ten in total.”
Suddenly I get really nervous, because this is for Reece’s brother, and if I don’t get them, they’ve wasted their money. “Here, you better do it.” I turn around and offer the gun to Miles and Reece who are standing next to each other.
“No way, you’re having too much fun.” Reece shakes his head.
“Here.” I thrust the gun toward Miles and he takes a step back. I look to Sam who also shakes her head. “I won’t get them. Someone take it, please.”
Reece steps up to me, and turns me around so we’re facing the stupid ducks. “Have faith in yourself, Dakota.” He guides me so I’ve got aim on the ducks. “If you don’t have faith in yourself, no one else ever will either.”
I squint as I look down the barrel and take aim. Stopping for a second, I tilt my head toward Reece, trying to catch his attention. But he’s not looking at me.
The next nine shots see me lose . . . spectacularly. But I had so much fun trying. “I’m sorry I lost,” I say to Reece and Miles.
“Did you have fun doing it?” Reece asks. I nod and smile at him, because even though I didn’t manage to shoot down six ducks, I still shot down four. And every time I got a duck, I screamed and surprised myself. “Good, because you looked like you were having a ball.”
Miles comes up to the game, pays the attendant and shoots six ducks, all in a damn row. “Seriously?” I say as I flail my arms frustrated at myself.
“Hey, you did well.” Reece moves so he’s standing beside me to my right, as Sam’s on my left.
Miles wins the stuffed toy for his brother, and we head on to the next game.
Chapter 20
“Did you girls have fun?” Mom asks when she comes to pick us up. “Who’s that?” Her keen eye goes to Miles who’s standing by the curb.
“That’s Miles Hendricks,” I answer as I wave to him.
“Reece’s brother? Boy, he’s grown. I haven’t seen him in years. Where’s Reece?”
“He’s gone to the bathroom,” Sam answers.
“Oh right. Who’s that stuffed dog for?” Mom pulls away and heads toward home.
“Luke. He’s sick, so they won him a toy to make him feel better.”
“They’re good kids, those three. I remember when I first met his mother, I thought she was a new-age hippy type. As it turns out, I was right, she is a new age-hippy type, but so nice and generous. Anyway, I’ve spent the day packing everything we need for our camping trip and we still need a few things, so tomorrow I’m going to the mall to get them. Do you girls want to come too?”
I look behind me to Sam and she eagerly nods. “Sure thing,” I say.
“Oh crap,” Sam huffs. “Taylor’s coming over tomorrow. We were going to hang and go for a swim.”
Mom lets out a small sigh and takes her hand off the steering to rub her chin. “Right, well I’m not leaving you two on your own. What time is he coming over?”
“He said about ten. Is that okay with you, Mom?”
“No, ten’s too early. Tell him to come over at lunchtime, that way we can go to the mall and be back in time for lunch. Tell Taylor to bring an appetite.” Mom smiles at Sam through the rear-view mirror.
“I’ll text him now.”
We get home and I take a shower. The weather’s been steadily getting hotter, and today is no exception. When I get out of the shower I go to Sam’s room. “Hey, can you do me a favor?”
“Always,” she replies as she sits up in bed. “What is it?”
“Can you check my phone, see if there’s anything there.” I scrunch up my nose, and draw my eyebrows together. “If there is, don’t tell me.” Grabbing the hair tie I have around my wrist, I gather my long hair and put it in a ponytail. “No actually, do tell me.” I huff a deep breath. “No, don’t tell me.” God, I feel ill. My stomach contracts in anticipation of what Sam’s going to find.
She’s got my phone in her hands, and she’s powering it up. We both wait, our breathing ragged. Sam’s slim shoulders shake as she scrolls through whatever she’s seeing on with my phone.
“Crap,” I mumble. Frozen with terrified fear, I simply wait for Sam.
“There’s nothing here.” Her eyes are down, glued to the screen of my phone. “There are a few messages from Sophie saying she’d love to hang out. And one from Reece, he messaged this afternoon after we left the fair, here I’ll read it.
‘Hey Dakota, thanks for letting us hang out today. Maybe we can do it again.’
She looks up at me and her kind eyes find mine. “See,” she says. “He’s alright.”
“I must admit, I’m kinda comfortable around him. But nowhere near enough to say he wasn’t the one who . . .” my voice trails off, refusing to say the word. “You know.” Sam nods as she looks at me. “Maybe, when we get back from camping, then we can all hang out. You know, me, you, Taylor and Reece.”
“Yay,” Sam happily exclaims while she drops my phone on her bed and claps her hands together. “You called him Taylor, not Calvin.”
“Thank you, Sam. You’ve made this whole thing less stressful for me.”
“I can’t imagine it’s a pleasant experience for anyone.” She screws her nose and mouth up as she says the word ‘pleasant.’ “I’m sure there are peop
le out there who don’t have any support. You have me, and if and when you let them in, Mom and Dad too.”
Shaking my head, I stand and start pacing in frustration. “You know I can’t, it’s too late. Weeks have passed and I’ve had loads of opportunities to tell them and haven’t. Now, if I say something, I’m going to look like a liar. I should’ve told them the night it happened.”
“Yes, you’re right. You should’ve,” Sam agrees. Her voice isn’t harsh and scolding, more like sympathetic with understanding. “But I’m sure they’d prefer to hear it from you, rather than hearing it from someone else. Secrets always have a way of blowing up.”
So many emotions hit me at once, Sam sings the same tune all the time and she’s right, I know it. “Just stop it,” I bark toward her. Annoyance is bubbling under my surface, I’m overwhelmed by everything.
“Dakota.”
Running my hands through my hair, I tug on the ends while closing my eyes and kneeling to the floor. “I can’t tell them,” I cry out in frustration. “I just can’t.”
Sam gently lays her hand on my back. “I’m sorry, Dakota, I didn’t mean to push you so hard,” her voice is soft and wispy and, I can tell she’s trying to appease me.
“I’m not mad at you.” I look into her soft eyes and notice there’s not one ounce of judgement. “I’m angry at myself.” She expels a deep breath and slumps her shoulders. “I shouldn’t have gone that night.”
“You’re still laying blame on the wrong person. You’re a victim, not a villain.” Her features are soft with love for me. Her eyes are gentle, her smile tender, and her body affectionate. She moves closer wrapping me in her love. “Please don’t tear your hair out, I didn’t mean to sound like I don’t understand.” When she envelops me close to her warm body, I accept it, desperately needing her hug.
Minutes drift past and when I finally let my body relax and I resolve to stop hating myself. I untangle from Sam. “Sorry, I freaked out.” Standing, I head over to the bed to sit. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I know you’re only trying to help.”
“You didn’t yell at me. You panicked. I kinda freaked out when you fell to the floor. But I suppose, as much as I understand what you’re going through, I’m not the one who’s actually living it. I’m trying though. I’m scared for you, so damn terrified that whatever you’re feeling will last a lifetime if you don’t get help.”
Breathing raggedly, I try and swallow the shame that’s sitting in the back of my throat. “I love you.” I stand and go hug Sam again. “Thank you, for everything,” I whisper.
“I love you too.” She tightens her arms around me in a gentle squeeze before letting go and walking over to her bed. “Here, take your phone and call Reece, tell him we should definitely go out when we get back from camping.”
“You’re too grown up, stop acting like you’re eighteen instead of fourteen.”
“Well.” She rolls her eyes and smirks. “Someone has to be the smart one, and seeing as you missed out in the brains department, it has to be me.” She shrugs her shoulders teasingly.
“Whatever.” I walk toward her door and open it. “But seriously, thank you.”
“Ah.” She flips her hand at me dismissively. “It’s what sisters do.”
“Hello,” Sophie answers her phone.
“Hey, it’s Dakota.”
“Hey, what’s doing?”
I lay on my bed and turn to put some music on in the background. “Sam and I went to the fair today, and we saw Reece and his brother there. And we’re getting ready to go camping.”
“Camping? I haven’t been camping in years, since . . .” she pauses for a few seconds. “Since before Dad was sent to jail.”
“Do you wanna come?” I ask excitedly while sitting up on my bed. I’m about ready to run out to Mom to ask if Sophie can come too.
“Hell no. There’s no way I’d go camping now. I’m much more aware of snakes, and bears and shit like that.”
“There are no snakes where we go camping.”
“Aha! You didn’t say anything about bears.”
I chuckle to myself before I add, “And no bears, either.”
“Still no,” she adamantly replies.
“Come on, it’ll be fun. It’s just my family, but it’ll be so fun.”
“Is there indoor plumbing?” she asks in a sassy pitch.
“Well, no not exactly. We’ll go off track, and do the whole tents and digging a hole thing.”
“Will there be a proper bed?”
“Again, no. More like sleeping bags and a campfire.”
“Hang on a second. Back up right now, sister. There will be s’mores?” Her tone changes and perks slightly.
“Of course, you can’t go camping without making s’mores.”
“See,” she huffs and half chuckles. “Given there’ll be s’mores I’d have seriously considered coming. However, there’s still a minor problem.”
“Which is?” I’m already smiling because I can sense, by her easy tone, she’s about to say something amusing.
“Snakes and no toilets. Not to mention big bears, and other wildlife who sometimes wander into tents and make themselves at home.”
My face has a broad smile and I can’t help but feel totally comfortable around Sophie. “Alright, alright. No camping, but what about if you come over when we get back? We’ve got a pool, Dad can do a cookout, and we can make s’mores, ‘n stuff like that?” I become hopeful as I wait for her response.
“Yeah? You want me to come over? Really?” There’s a wary hopefulness to her question, as if she doesn’t believe me, or worse still; doesn’t think we’re really friends.
“Of course! We’re friends, right?”
She lets out a sigh and a small groan. “I’ve found it hard to make friends since we moved here a few years ago. I’m more of a loner, preferring to spend my time in the library.” My heart breaks for her because being isolated from people sucks. I should know, my barriers are getting higher and higher. My walls are becoming impenetrable and rock solid.
“Well, we’re friends now, Sophie. Sorry, but there’ll be no getting rid of me.” I smile triumphantly into the phone. I must look like a crazy person, grinning to myself. But I know us being friends will make a world of difference to both of us.
“Good, ‘cause I kinda like you and Sam.”
“So, you’ll come over?” I feel as if I’m eight years old again, asking her to be my friend. I hold my breath and wait for her reaction. I’ll be cut if she says no, and giddy if she says yes.
“Hell yeah, and you better make good s’mores.”
“Yay. I’ll call you when we get back from camping.”
“Okay. I’ve gotta go, Mom’s taking me out for dinner so I gotta go get ready.”
“Have fun. See ya soon,” I say before hanging up.
I sit back on my bed and an air of calm washes over me. Today’s been such an extreme day. I had heaps of fun at the fair, and I loved spending time with Sam. I even felt comfortable with Reece and Miles which surprises me because after that night, I never thought I’d have the confidence to feel okay around people again, especially boys.
I toy with my phone, and contemplate calling Reece. I’m not a hundred percent sure, but my gut is saying he’s okay. But then again, I thought everyone was okay before the night I became a target, and then a victim.
Dialing his number, I wait for him to answer the call. “Dakota?” he says while puffing.
“Hi, how are you?” I slap my forehead because immediately I sound like an idiot.
“I’m good.” His voice sounds cautious. “How are you?”
“Yeah good.” Suddenly my stomach knots and my hands shake. “Um . . .”
“Thank you for letting us hang out today. I had a great time. Miles likes your sister, he said she’ll make a good lawyer when she’s older. He also said she’d be the type of little sister he could imagine having if he didn’t have two brothers.”
I laugh out loud. “W
ait, does that mean Miles called you a girl?”
“Nah,” he defensively says, quite loudly. I laugh again. “Well, yeah.”
“You make me laugh.”
“I’m so not a girl. I can guarantee that, Dakota. Miles likes to say shit like that to get under my skin. It used to irritate the crap out of me, but now I know it’s just his sense of humor.”
“You’re gonna miss him when he leaves.”
“Yeah, I know.” He sighs. “So, I’m thinking, maybe we can go to the movies if you’re not going anywhere for vacation.” I furrow my eyebrows together and pull my phone away from my ear to stare at it. “Dakota?” I hear Reece call.
Putting the phone back to my ear, I sit there quiet for a few seconds. “Are you asking me out on a date?” Scrunching my nose I smack myself on the forehead. It’s ridiculous to even think that’s what Reece is asking.
“Yeah, I guess I kind of am.”
Stunned I stare at the pale yellow wall ahead of me. “Um,” my voice is heavily strained, and guarded.
“It’s um . . . it’s okay, don’t worry about it. I thought maybe you’d like to hang out and watch a movie or something. No big deal.” His tone isn’t saying ‘no big deal’ it’s saying he’s embarrassed he’s even asked.
“I’m nowhere near ready to date again, Reece.”
“Yeah, of course.” He lets out a breath, but I can still hear the unease in his voice.
“How about this? We’re going on a camping trip, and when we get back I’m going to ask Mom and Dad if we can have a cook out here. Sophie will be here, and Sam’s boyfriend.” I should probably let Sam know. “Why don’t you come over for that?”
It’s safer in numbers, although . . .
“I’d love to. Thanks for the invite.”
Just then there’s a knock on the door. “Come in,” I half shout. “Hang on a minute, Reece.”
The door opens and Mom pops her head in. “I need help with dinner.” She smiles at me and her eyes go to my phone. “When you’re finished.” She juts her chin toward my phone.
“Okay, I’ll be out in a couple of minutes.” Mom then closes the door and leaves me to my phone call. “You there?”
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