I’m in no state to think for myself. My brain is filled with fog and trembling fear. “Okay,” I say as I turn and run toward the library. “I’ll see you when you get here.”
“Don’t hang up!” Tobias shouts into the phone.
I was going to do exactly that. Hang up. But the urgency in Tobias’s voice tells me not to. “Okay,” I answer. Although breathless, I get to the library and enter the building. “I’m here,” I say quietly as I head upstairs and find somewhere to sit.
“Are there people around?”
Looking around me, I huff as I try and catch my breath. “Yeah, there are a couple of people sitting over at the tables.”
“Stay close to them. I’m on my way.”
“Okay.” I look around me, worried the guy from the travel agency will find me here. I slink away behind a row of books. I can’t explain it, he did nothing overtly wrong, but something about the situation unnerved me.
“You okay, Ivy?” Tobias asks. The rumble of his car engine sounds in the background.
Closing my eyes for a moment, I take time to gather my thoughts. “It’s probably nothing, but he creeped me out.”
“What happened? Who creeped you out?”
“I should’ve listened to my gut when I went into the travel office.” I shake my head at my own stupidity. “I thought it was weird how he wrote his phone number down and gave it to me.”
“Who is he? And he did what?” Tobias says sharply.
I recoil, upset at myself for angering Tobias. “I’m sorry,” I plead.
“What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“If I didn’t go into the travel…”
“Stop it, Ivy. Stop making excuses. You should be able to go anywhere you want and not have some pervert hitting on you.”
He’s right, we all should be able to walk freely without the risk of being stalked. “I know,” I say in a small voice.
“Say it. Tell me it’s not your fault.”
“It’s not my fault,” I whisper.
“Little bit louder.”
“I know it’s not my fault. But I feel like if I didn’t go in there, then it wouldn’t have happened.”
“It wouldn’t have happened to you, but it doesn’t mean it wouldn’t happen to anyone else.”
“I suppose,” I mumble. “And it could’ve been worse.” I take his card out of my back pocket and flip it over to see he’s written ‘Call me anytime’ followed by his number. “I should go to the police and tell them what happened.”
“What can they charge him on? Being a creep?”
Tobias is right, there’s nothing they can charge him on. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“I’m nearly there.”
“I can meet you outside,” I say. Although my heart is still pounding like crazy in my chest, I’ll push myself and wait outside for Tobias.
“Nope. Just wait where you are. I’ll come and find you. I don’t want you to go outside until I’m there.”
The more I think about it, I could have read into the situation wrong. “Maybe he didn’t mean anything by it. Maybe, I misinterpreted things.”
“Why did you call me in a panic?”
“Something wasn’t quite right about it.”
“Then you didn’t misread the signs. Your gut knew something was off about him, which made you call me.”
“Yeah.” He’s right. “I guess I never thought anything like that can happen to me.”
“Thankfully, nothing actually happened. But it could’ve.”
I huff in frustration, a part of me wants to curl up in a little ball and rock back and forth. But another part of me is angry and I want to call this bastard and tell him off.
“Ivy, are you okay?” Tobias asks.
The angry part is winning over the back away part, and the more I think about it, the more I want to hang up and call this jackass. “I’m gonna call him, and tell him what I think,” I say, the tone of my voice increasing with annoyance.
“No, you’re not. You’re not going to have anything to do with him.”
“What? Why?”
“Because that would be opening the door for worse things to happen. And you don’t want to put yourself in a dangerous position.”
Ugh. “I hate your logic,” I snap.
Tobias chuckles, and this gives me the reprieve I need to step back from the anger and fear coursing through me. “No, you don’t,” he says in a lighter tone.
“How long do you think until you’re here?”
“Five minutes.”
“Okay, I’ll see you when you get here. I’m on the second floor.”
“Don’t hang up. Keep talking to me. Do you regret not going to Chloe’s party last night?”
Him mentioning last night makes me break out into a huge smile. “Nope. I had way more fun with you. I’m not big on the party scene.”
“I liked how the night turned out, too.” I smile coyly into the phone. Giddiness floats through me. My pulse spikes with memories of how perfect we were together. “I’m just putting it out there, but my favorite part was kissing you.”
I giggle like a damn schoolgirl. I don’t remember the last time I actually giggled. “It might have been my favorite part too,” I snarkily emphasis ‘might.’
“Oh really?” he teases. “Just might?”
I smile again, and feel my cheeks burning with awkwardness. “Yeah, it was okay.” Rolling my eyes, I can’t contain the wide and cheeky smile.
“Hmm,” he huffs. “Looks like I have to try harder next time.”
“Yeah, it does.” I cock an eyebrow in a flirtatious way. It’s lost on him though, because he’s not here yet.
Black shoes appear in front of me, and I follow the denim clad legs up to the tight, black t-shirt. My heart immediately skips; I already know it’s him. My pulse eases when my gaze reaches the staggering good looks of Tobias.
I drop my phone to the ground, and jump up into his arms.
The sheer emotion of seeing him, and the travel guy… everything has compounded. Tears well in my eyes as my body responds by shaking. The tears break, and flow down my cheeks. “Hey,” Tobias says as he gently pets my hair, holding me tight against his body. “It’s okay.” He moves his hands so his palms encase my cheeks. “Don’t cry, beautiful.” Tenderly he moves forward, and places a kiss to my forehead. “It’s okay,” he says again.
Crying into his chest, I let the emotions drown me. “I’m sorry,” I finally say after a few moments of crying.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”
Stepping back, I wipe my eyes with the collar of my t-shirt. I head over to some vacant seats, and wait for Tobias to follow me. “I shouldn’t have called you.” Guilt takes over. He was home with his mom and Clara, and I dragged him out of there to come to me.
“Although the circumstances are shit, I love spending time with you. And trust me, when Clara saw how angry I got, she was pulling on her shoes to come with me.”
He manages to draw a smile from me. “Did you tell her?”
“No, I didn’t need to. I was up and out of the house within seconds, and Clara was only a few steps behind. But I motioned for her to stay home. She wasn’t happy about it.”
Burying my face into my hands, guilt rips through me. “I’m so sorry,” I mumble through my hands. “Clara will be so upset with me.” I collapse back in the seat, totally ashamed with myself.
“No, she’ll be upset she wasn’t here to go after the guy herself.” He pries my hands away from my face and pulls them down. More tears fall, and he uses the pad of his thumbs to wipe them away.
“I feel like I’ve caused you such trouble. And Clara… ugh, she’s going to hate me.”
“I can’t see that ever happening.” He holds his hand out to me, and pulls me up. “Come on, I’ll take you home.” He drapes his arm around my shoulders and draws me in for a sideways hug.
Shaking my head, I look down to my feet. I’m not proud of
my actions. “I’m sorry,” I whisper again.
Tobias grabs my camera bag, and holds it while his other arm is still around my shoulders. “Stop it, Ivy. Look…” He stops walking to face me. “I could never live with myself if something had happened to you and you didn’t call me. So please, stop apologizing.”
“Okay,” I say again, guilt flooding through me. “Thank you for coming. I really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome.” We start walking again, this time Tobias entwines our fingers. When we reach Clara’s car, he opens the door and waits for me to get in. Who says chivalry is dead? I have a perfect gentleman right here. Totally old-fashioned, and I love it. When Tobias gets in, he starts the car and merges into the small amount of easy traffic flowing down the street. “Do you want to go home?” he asks.
Yes, Ivy, come home. I’m waiting for you.
My shoulders tense as my demon appears. Not tonight, please go away.
You know what’ll make you feel better.
Please, please just go away.
“Or we can go to McDonalds or Papa John’s if you don’t want to go home yet? Truthfully, I’m hoping you choose McDonalds over going home.”
My head is clouded and I can barely think straight. “Can you please take me home?” I ask. “I don’t think I’m in the right frame of mind to be good company.”
I sneak a look at him, and notice how his shoulders have rolled forward and his mouth is drawn tight. “Of course, if that’s what you want.” But it’s obvious, he doesn’t want me to go. And neither do I, but the reality is that I don’t feel strong enough to fight Azael in his company.
“Thank you,” I say in a small voice. I don’t want to let him down any more than I already have.
Tobias drives toward home, and when we reach my house, I see Dad’s car in the driveway. “Do you want to come in?” I ask when he parks the car.
“Sure,” he replies as he turns the car off. “But I won’t stay long.
“Okay.” We head inside, and Dad’s cooking dinner in the kitchen. “Hey, Dad,” I call as I give him a kiss on the cheek.
“Hey, how was your day? Hello, Tobias, how are you?”
“Fine, thank you, sir.”
“Yeah, it was okay.” My words are tight. My voice breaks, and I want to tell Dad what happened, but at the same time, the more I logically think about it, the more I think I’m making a big deal out of nothing.
“Ivy.” Dad gives me a pointed look. He pins me with his eyes, and I know he knows, it wasn’t an okay day. “What happened?” He aims a fierce look at Tobias. Dad automatically straightens, and moves toward me.
“Tobias came into the city to get me. Something happened with a guy,” I say before he reaches Tobias.
“What happened and with what guy?” He backs off, and leans against the counter with his arms crossed on his chest. But his shoulders are still high, and I know he’s gone into protective Dad mode.
I spend a few minutes telling him what happened, and the more I speak, the more Dad straightens. His face morphs from listening, to angry. And by the time I finish telling him, Dad’s got his phone in his hand and dinner is forgotten. “Where’s his card?”
“I’ve thrown it out.” I lie. Tobias lets out an annoyed groan. And Dad tilts his head down, with raised eyebrows. “Okay, I haven’t thrown it out yet, but I’m going to.”
“He needs to be taught a lesson,” Dad says as he holds his hand out to me.
“Agreed,” Tobias jumps in with whatever Dad’s planning.
“No.” I pace in front of them both. “Just leave it alone. Please. I know what he did wasn’t right, but we’re all making a bigger deal of this than it was.”
“Ivy, this guy may be a predator,” Dad says as he stops my pacing.
“That’s what I said to her,” Tobias echoes.
“Stop it. Both of you. This isn’t Salem and we’re not going on a witch hunt. He didn’t do anything, so you can’t do anything.” I point to them both. Their thoughts are written loudly on their faces. I know they were going to call this guy and probably say something.
“Just give me his card,” Dad says. “I promise I won’t call him.”
Yeah, right. Narrowing my eyes, I huff in frustration. “Then why do you need his number?”
“For future reference.”
“No.”
“Give it to me.” Dad steps forward.
“No.”
He holds his hand out, adamant.
But I can be stubborn too. “What’s for dinner?” I ask walking past him to see what he’s been making.
“Don’t change the subject,” Dad says. “Give me the card.”
“Are you staying for dinner?” I ask Tobias, completely ignoring Dad.
“No, I should get home. Clara will want to know what’s happening.” He takes his phone out of his pocket and checks the screen. “Ten missed calls from her.” He holds the phone up, showing me. “I’ll pick you up Monday morning?”
“I don’t start ’til later on Monday. I can take her to school, but if you can bring her home, that would be great.” Tobias nods his head. And suddenly, I see an unspoken agreement between the two of them. They’re going to keep an eye on me to make sure the creepy guy doesn’t show up.
“You know, I’m a grown woman who can look after herself,” I protest.
Sure you can, my demon mumbles. But I can look after you best of all.
The hairs on my arms stand to attention. A chill runs down the length of my back. He’s back. But this time, I’m listening to him.
“We know,” Tobias says.
“We’re not worried,” Dad adds.
Sure.
“I’ll see you at school Monday.” Tobias walks to me, and gives me a small, innocent kiss.
“Okay,” I say. “I’ll walk you out.” Dad gives Tobias a curt nod, and goes back to making dinner. We reach the door, and we slowly walk outside. Neither Tobias nor I want him to leave, but we both know he has to go. “Thank you, for today.”
He leans up against his car, grabbing me by my hips and pulling me into him. “I hate the circumstances, but I love spending time with you.” He leans into me, and presses a soft kiss to my mouth.
A spark bursts through me. I like him kissing me. My stomach spins with excitement. I want more from him, I like us together. We seem to fit as if we’re the last two pieces of the puzzle.
Running my fingers through Tobias’s hair, I drag him closer to me. My heart beats crazily and I’m sure he can feel it where our chests touch. “Mmm,” I murmur with want.
“God, Ivy, you’re so beautiful.” He pulls out of the kiss, and leans his forehead on mine.
“Thank God you stopped, because I don’t think I could have,” I say. Although I want to believe what I said, if it came to the crunch, I doubt I’d be able to go through with it. Not unless I could hide my scars. Anyone seeing my scars is not an option I’ve ever entertained.
But now, everything is different.
No, it’s not, Ivy. It’s still just you and me. Ugh, go away.
“I didn’t want to, but I had to.” He releases a breath and kisses the tip of my nose. “Trust me, I’m drawing on every ounce of strength to let you go so I can get home.”
Come inside, Ivy, let me show you how good the blade feels against your skin. You have to face the guy from the travel agency. We have to talk about it.
My demon is forceful. His faceless form stands beside me, he wants me. He. Wants. Me.
“I have to go,” I tell Tobias as I step back from him.
My demon steps closer. I can feel the smile, the smugness radiating off him. God, I hate him so much. I wish he’d leave me alone.
“Are you okay?” Tobias asks. Is it obvious how affected I am by the demon?
“Yeah, um…” I look away from him, unable to lie while our gazes are locked together. “Yeah, you know, today’s been challenging.”
Tobias lets out a breath, and huffs. Clearly, he’s disappointed in me.
I am too. “Okay, I’ll see you at school Monday.”
“Yeah, school. See ya.” I turn to walk away.
My demon is right beside me. Go away, I say to him as I turn to face him.
His body is overjoyed, it’s bouncing and swinging like he owns me and can make me do whatever he wants. He’s eager.
I close the front door, and head down the hallway to my bathroom. “Having a shower, I’ll be out soon,” I call.
“Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes,” Dad replies as I shut the door to the bathroom.
My eyes zone in on the bottom drawer. My heart rapidly beats, exhilaration overtaking every sane part of me.
Yes, Ivy. Take the blade. Caress it.
My breathing quickens. God, yes, I want it. With shaky hands, I lean down and open the drawer. The edge of the case is visible. I can see it but if anyone else stumbled across it, they wouldn’t know what the pouch held inside.
Reaching in, I push the insignificant objects from on top of it. The case pulls me in, like a bright beacon of light, giving me hope.
False hope.
Snap out of it, Ivy!
“No,” I scold myself. “He’s not real, He’s trying to make me do something I don’t want to do.”
If you don’t want to do it, then why are you excited by it? I can smell the thrill rolling off you.
I want to yell, to tell him to go away. But I find myself opening the pouch and holding the blade. I inhale and blow out a few deep breaths. The excitement has morphed into more.
It’s more than enticing.
Much more than a want.
Even beyond a need.
With trembling hands, and unsteady breathing, I lift the blade to my upper thigh.
The edge of the blade presses into my skin.
Yes, do it.
I droplet of blood rushes to the surfaces.
The skin instantly pinks in color.
“No, don’t.” I pull the blade away, having made only a small nick in my skin.
What if you got in his car? My demon torments. He would’ve hurt you.
Stop it! My hands are trembling and I fear that if I cut I might go too deep.
I’ll look after you. He crouches over me, watching, and encouraging me. You’ll feel better.
Hesitantly, I lift the blade again, pressing it to the same spot.
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