by Jody Holford
“The daisies,” she whispered.
At least he knew which ones those were. She continued to stare, and he knew he was confusing her, but he had a plan, and as dumb as it seemed at this moment when all he wanted to do was tug her close and never let her go, he was carrying it out.
He nodded. He’d been starved for the sight of her and kept getting lost just looking at her. “Do you want to sit at the bar or a table?”
She tilted her head. “Does it matter?”
“Not to me. But it’s up to you,” he said, hoping she understood the significance of his words. He held his hand out to her, ignoring the way his heart hammered like a freaking woodpecker on crack in his chest.
Sophia hesitated so long his breath caught, but when she slipped her hand into his palm, his pulse settled. “Table.”
He grabbed the folder from the bar and led her to a table. He held the chair out for her and waited until she was seated before sitting across from her.
“What kinds of decisions are you trying to make?” She sat so stiffly, her back ramrod straight.
“Ones that impact us both.”
“Dec.”
Emotion twisted his insides. “Let me lay out all the options, okay? Then, every choice is up to you. I realize that I overstepped. More than once. And it wasn’t because I don’t believe in you or think you’re not strong enough to make the best choices. It was because I was terrified you wouldn’t choose me.”
She bit her lip, her top teeth sinking into the bottom.
He opened the folder and took out the little cards he’d borrowed from the Match More stock that was waiting in the back for tonight. Clients could make notes in the cards and collect them as they went as a way to remind themselves who they connected with.
Taking a deep breath, he dove. “I have a series of cards here. We’ll move through them one by one, and when we get to a standstill, you can decide where you want to go from there. The answers are yes, no, or maybe.” He’d replaced some of the original questions, such as can you see yourself spending an evening with this person? The yes, no, maybe had already been there, so he’d built his questions around those answers.
“Is this necessary?” Her tone was almost amused.
“I need to show you that I believe in you. That I believe in us and that whatever you choose, I’ll support you.”
She nodded, and he slid the first card toward her. She opened it and read the words.
Is there any chance for us to move forward? Yes. No. Maybe.
Declan handed her a pen. She took a shuddery breath and circled maybe.
Sweat beaded on the back of his neck. Hurdle one, clear.
He slid the card aside and passed her the next one.
Can you find a way to forgive me? Yes. No. Maybe.
Sophia circled maybe.
His heart hitched, and he slid that one aside and took a deep breath. “I need you to know I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. The night I opened this bar, I screwed up and put the special in the register for a dollar twenty-five instead of four twenty-five. I lost a load of cash. It was a rookie mistake, but I’d never owned a bar before. I didn’t make that mistake again. I’ve never been in love before, so I made another rookie mistake. I won’t make the same one again, Sophia.”
Her eyes watered as she pulled in a shuddery breath. She nodded, biting down on her lip. He slid another card in front of her.
Can you see yourself growing old with me? Yes. No. Maybe.
Her hand hovered above the answers. She circled maybe.
Fuck. He was going to hate the word maybe by the time this was finished. But she hadn’t circled no yet.
Next card. Do you want to continue working at On Dec? Yes. No. Maybe.
She circled yes.
That was good news. The more he could be with her, the better. Next question. When you imagine the future, am I in it? Yes. No. Maybe.
Sophia set the pen down, and his heart tried to leap out of his chest. She stared at him across the table.
“Is that what you want?” she asked.
More than he wanted his next breath. “This is about what you want,” he replied. It took effort to keep his tone even.
“That’s not how relationships work, Declan. It takes compromise and…patience. It’s making sure you both have everything you need to make things last. It’s about what we both want and need. Though I would imagine, over time, those things change, so the couple has to as well.”
He reached across the table, over the cards, and took both of her hands. “What do you need? Because I’ve spent a week without you, and what I learned is that all I need to breathe, to function, to be happy and fulfilled is you. Both of you,” he amended, looking down toward her stomach.
He looked up to see tears had filled her eyes. “However this works. Whatever you want. I want to belong to you, and I want you to belong to me. I want us to be a family. As long as I know, at the end of the day, we’re together, I can handle anything.”
Sniffling, she squeezed his hands. “Can I see the second card again?”
Shit. His heart hammered so hard he wondered if she could hear it as he found it and slid it back.
Can you find a way to forgive me? Yes. No. Maybe.
The pen scratched over the card. Declan held his breath while her hand moved. She slid it back in front of him. She’d crossed out yes, no, and maybe. She’d written, always. His gaze snapped up.
“I already did. I want everything you said. Us. Together. A family,” she whispered.
Declan didn’t want the table between them, so he pulled her hands and moved his chair back at the same time. She accommodated him, rising and coming to sit on his lap. He pulled her close, hugging her, wrapping his arms around her and laying his head on her chest. She smelled so fucking good. She felt so good. Leaning back, he looked up, cupped her jaw, then pressed kisses to both of her cheeks where tears had wet them. “Tell me what else. What else do you want?”
“I want to live in your house.”
He looked up at the ceiling. “Thank God. Yes. What else?”
She laughed, shifting on his lap, distracting him. “I want to help other businesses in Brockton with marketing campaigns. My dad is hiring me to design his new menus. Eventually, you might need a new floor manager if it keeps me busy. I’m sort of hoping it’s something I can do at home at least part of the time. But not yet. Not until after the baby.” She put a hand over her stomach, and he placed his over hers.
He’d hire ten managers. He didn’t care. “Done. What else?”
“I want you to know the difference between supporting me and protecting me.”
He swallowed the thickness in his throat. “I’m learning. It’s instinct, I guess, because I’ve never felt it before, to want to take care of you. To make things easier on you. I promise you I’ll be more open. I won’t make your decisions for you. I want to make decisions with you. What else?”
“I want you to never again call my brother instead of me when it concerns us.”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “Never.”
“I want to get married.”
Now he felt like he’d swallowed a fucking rainbow. “I do, too.”
She laughed. “Before the baby.”
“We can go right now,” he said, meaning it.
Fresh tears streamed down, and he caught them with his thumbs as he pressed his mouth to hers, unable to wait any longer to kiss her, to touch her, to be close to her. He’d missed her the way he would air in his lungs or blood in his veins. She was vital. She was everything.
Sophia pulled back but kept her hands on his face. They probably looked ridiculous, but he didn’t care.
“I want a partnership, Dec. That means it isn’t only about what I want. It’s your turn. What do you want?”
“You,” he answered without hesitation.
“What else?”
Taking a deep breath, he nudged her off of his lap so she was standing. When she was, he pulled h
er in and turned them both in a slow waltz around the floor. He didn’t need music if he had Sophe. Lowering his mouth to her ear, he whispered, “There is one thing.”
“What?”
“I want to hear you say it back.”
She leaned her upper body away from him, her smile brighter and warmer than the sunshine pouring through the windows. “I love you.”
His fingers tightened around her hand and her waist. “Again,” he whispered.
With a small laugh, she tunneled her fingers into his hair. “I. Love. You. Declan. James. It wasn’t until you that I really knew how that felt. But now that I do, I don’t ever want to be without it. Or you.”
He moved to kiss her, but she stepped back. He dropped his hands and watched her walk to her purse at the table, unzip it, pull something out, and walk back over, folded paper in hand.
“I have one more request,” she said.
“Anything.”
She smirked. That sassy, knowing smirk, and he couldn’t help but grin back.
“I want the baby to have your last name. Keith signed away rights.” She handed him the paper.
As he unfolded it, he realized his hands were shaking. Sure enough, the idiot had scrawled his signature across the bottom. Declan looked up at Sophia.
“This is why you wanted him to stay.” He was so stupid. He’d been so worried that if her ex got her alone, he’d convince her to give them another try. He should have known she wouldn’t give him a second chance. Because she didn’t love him. She loved Declan.
“The only reason.”
He folded the paper, stuffed it in his back pocket, and took her hands in his. Bringing them to his lips, he kissed both of them.
“I love you, Sophia. You’re my reason. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry that I didn’t have enough faith to get me over my insecurities. But if you’ll let me, I’ll spend the rest of our lives showing you how much I love you and believe in you. In us.” He lowered himself to one knee. He pulled the ring—a princess cut solitaire with a thin band of diamonds circling it—and held it up in front of her.
“You can choose the date, the time, the color scheme, the food, the guests, whatever you want. All I want is to be yours forever. To be your husband. Will you marry me?”
Sophia inhaled a sharp, shaky breath as she nodded. He slipped the ring on her finger, and it fit perfectly. Like them.
He stood, kissing her and loving the feel of her arms wrapping around his neck. When he pulled back, he grinned at her. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
Sophia laughed, the sound soothing him. Igniting him. “Our first.”
“Of many.”
“And we’re spending the night with dozens of hopeful strangers,” she said.
Glancing at the Match More cards, he looked back at Sophia. “Who knows? Maybe they’ll get as lucky as I did.”
She kissed him. Against his mouth, she added, “As lucky as we did.”
Epilogue
Sophia snuggled into Declan’s bare chest, her cheek against his always warm skin. Her eyelids felt like they had lead weights pulling them down.
“You want to watch a show?” He had one arm around her so she could cuddle into the crook of his arm. He’d just showered, and the scent of his body wash and him was almost as comforting as the blankets she pulled up over them.
The light of the TV flickered in their dark bedroom.
“Mmm.” She didn’t care what he watched. She just wanted to close her eyes for ten full minutes and breathe him in. Absently, as she drifted closer to actual sleep, she rolled her wedding and engagement ring on her finger. They’d married at the end of April in front of their family and closest friends.
“Losing your chance to have a say, babe,” he teased, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
“Don’t care,” she mumbled, shifting closer.
Declan chuckled and clearly chose something as muted voices came from the television. She smiled against him and felt a contentment so deep and heavy, it cloaked her like the blanket.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d had her eyes closed when she heard Ava cry. Instantly, her eyes popped open. Gritty as hell, but they opened. She started to move, but Declan stopped her and eased out of the bed. He muted the television and then leaned over the bed, stroking her hair with a tender look on his face.
“I’ll get her.”
“You know you’re perfect, right?” She grinned at him, probably looking like a drunk racoon. She’d tried to spruce herself up today after a luxurious shower and put on mascara. She was pretty sure she hadn’t washed it off yet. At only three weeks old, Ava already had them all wrapped around her tiny little fingers.
“Only for you,” he whispered, kissing her, awakening her.
“I love you, Dec.”
“I love you more.”
She didn’t tell him it wasn’t possible as he padded out of the room and toward Ava’s nursery. They’d used what was once his Lego room. She couldn’t believe he’d torn all of his pieces apart. It had broken her heart when she’d found out. While he was at the pub, she’d been setting aside bits of time to sort the pieces. She figured, by Christmas, she’d be able to present him with the organized kits again so he could rebuild.
Sophia turned on her side and looked at the baby monitor. God, he was good with her. He was good with everything. She watched through the monitor as he picked her up and took her to the changing table. Reaching out, Sophia turned the sound up a bit more.
In record time, he changed her, but instead of bringing her in to Sophia right away, he scooped her up and pulled her close. Ava’s little fists curled on his shoulder, and she rooted around, making adorable noises. Sophia could sense his smile as Declan’s large hand rubbed her back.
“I know, baby. Shh, it’s okay. That’s my girl.”
Sophia smiled against her pillow. His girls. He said it all the time. When she’d left town at eighteen, she’d imagined becoming so many things, but it never occurred to her to just aim for being happy. It also never occurred to her that coming home would help her find it.
Declan came into the bedroom, a quieter Ava in his arms, and brought her to his side of the bed. Sophia rolled back over and adjusted herself so she was comfortable to feed. Declan settled Ava on the bed, and while Sophia helped her latch on, he carefully crawled in and lay on his side.
Ava’s eyes searched even as she ate. Sophia smiled. “She’s looking for you. She loves your voice.” And who could blame her?
He stroked the soft, downy, definitely-Strombi dark hair. “I’m still here, baby girl,” he murmured. He touched her fist, and Ava’s tiny fingers circled his index finger, holding tight.
“Talk to her,” Sophia said.
Declan adjusted his position so his other hand could stroke Sophia’s hair as Ava held his finger. He couldn’t be comfortable, but she knew he didn’t care. As long as he could be close to them.
“Close your eyes, Sophe.”
She did, smiling into the semi-darkness as their daughter nursed and Declan’s voice stroked over them both with affection.
“Want to hear a story, Ava? It’s about me, your mommy, and you and how we became a family.”
Sophia’s eyes popped open, and her heart tripped.
Declan smiled at her in a way that told her she’d found her forever. “It’s the story of us.”
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Acknowledgments
Every once in a while, an author falls in love with their own story. I’m not sure what makes this one more special to me but I’m so excited to share Declan and Sophia with all of you, so thank you for reading it. To my family who always support and encourage me. Our story is my favorite.
To all of my writer pals who listened, offered advice and support and are just there for me every day. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by such an
amazing group of people. Thank you to Jennifer Probst who is not only sweet and lovely to me but encouraged all of us to write naked. I feel like maybe, just maybe, I did that more with this novel than any other.
To advanced readers and long time supporters who’ve become my friends; thank you. To Nicole, my…I’m just going to go with friend because she wears so many hats and helps me so much that it seems like the best title. Thank you for making my words beautiful with your images and for your constant support. To my agent, Fran for having my back. Always. Thank you.
To Stacy and the team at Entangled but mostly Stacy. I probably emailed you more about this book than all the others together. Thank you for your patience, your humor, and your incredible insight into making this story more of what I wanted it to be.
To all of the people I may not have mentioned: you matter. I appreciate you. Know that I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to share my words and to have such awesome people in my life.
To Matt. You’re my happily ever after. “If I’m gonna be famous, I want to be famous with you.”
And clearly, to Old Dominion, who were the soundtrack to this book.
About the Author
Jody Holford lives in British Columbia with her family. She’s a huge fan of Rainbow Rowell, Nora Roberts, Carly Phillips, Rachel Gibson, Sophia Kinsella, and Emily Giffen. She’s unintentionally funny and rarely on time for anything. She writes multiple genres but her favourite is romance.
Don’t miss the Love Unexpected series…
Let It Be Me
Never Expected You
Also by Jody Holford…
More Than Friends
The Bad Boy Next Door
Hate to Love Him
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Handle with Care
a Saddler Cove novel by Nina Croft
First grade teacher Emily Towson always does the right thing. But in her dreams, she does bad, bad things with the town’s baddest boy: Tanner O’Connor. But when he sells her grandmother a Harley, fantasy is about to meet a dose of reality. Tanner spent two hard years in prison, with only the thought of this “good girl” to keep him sane. Before either one thinks though, they’re naked and making memories on his tool bench. Now Tanner’s managed to knock-up the town’s “good girl” and she’s going to lose her job over some stupid “morality clause” if he doesn’t step up.