by Lauren Child
‘Now why would she pick up a blank piece of paper?’ said Ruby.
‘Who only knows what that looney tune was up to.’
The concierge gave Felix a swift dig in the ribs and said. ‘That will be all thank you Felix.’
Ruby and Clancy thanked the concierge, promised to be in touch and returned to the car.
‘Now are you going to tell me what this is all about?’ Clancy said.
‘Not now,’ said Ruby through gritted teeth. ‘Not when people might overhear.’ She motioned to the chauffeur with her eyes – though it was clear he wasn’t a bit interested.
‘Just tell me in code,’ hissed Clancy.
‘Look, why don’t you come over tomorrow night – you can watch my dad’s slide show, since I figure you owe me one.’
‘How do I owe you? You’re the one who got my dad’s chauffeur driving us all over town,’ hissed Clancy.
‘Yeah and if you hadn’t been such a sneak I never woulda asked you in the first place so it really is your own fault.’
The two of them continued to whisper insults to each other all the way back to Twinford. When they reached Cedarwood Drive Ruby thanked Bill and got out of the car.
‘So Clance, see you tomorrow night, 6pm – I have to warn you it’s gonna be a total yawn.’
When Ruby got in, she could hear her mother’s voice. She was talking on the phone. Out of habit Ruby tried to tune in to what her mother was saying. Her mother’s conversations were rarely interesting but Ruby was a slave to curiosity. Her mom’s side of the conversation went something like this:
‘The funniest thing happened to me today Barbara… uh, funny strange… not so funny haha… So I was walking through Clavel Square… no, Clavel Square is the one with the statue, you are thinking of Clara Square, that’s the one with the roses… yes, that’s right, the one where you slipped on a hamburger… I know it is terrible the way people just drop their garbage anywhere they feel like it. You are so right, it could have been worse, lucky it was just a trip to the emergency room.’
Ruby listened as her mother broke into peals of laughter.
‘You’re not kidding… you’re not kidding! Oh I know, that doctor was very cute… I can’t say I would have blamed you… who wouldn’t!’
More laughter. Barbara always made Ruby’s mom laugh like this, and it was hard to know if she would ever get to the end of this story because she and Barbara had a habit of going off the subject.
‘Oh yes, what was I saying? The funniest thing happened to me… yes, I was just walking across Clavel Square when this man sort of grabbed me by the arm… yes, it was a grab, no doubt about it… it did sort of hurt yes… there might be a bruise, I’m not sure Barbara.’
Now Ruby’s ears had truly pricked up, she stopped chewing her bubblegum.
‘So then he starts to pull me across the square… yes by the arm… no there was no one around… you’re so right, I know it can get that way after lunch… I do too.’
Get on with it! thought Ruby.
‘So then he is pulling me across the square to who-knows-where when suddenly all these Italian tourists walk by, he lets go of my arm and says, “I’m so sorry I thought you were my wife” And I say, “Well to be honest I’m surprised you’ve got a wife if that’s how you treat her!”... I know, some people… uh huh… uh huh, lucky for him his wife came along because I can just about promise you I would have made quite a fuss… well as a matter of fact he did have a wife… sure, we looked something alike and yes, I was wearing a headscarf but even so… no, she definitely had red hair and mine is unmistakeably auburn… thank you Barbara, that’s very sweet of you, yes I will absolutely give you my stylist’s number… Well you could be right, maybe he was without his glasses but you would think he ought to know what his own wife looked like… you’re right, I am having a run of bad luck you are so right – first we lose our luggage, then all our furniture is stolen, then our housekeeper goes off, then my purse gets snatched and now Brant almost loses his wife to a thug!’
Ruby’s mother was laughing so hard she nearly fell off the chair.
‘Some men really lack charm – don’t they Barbara? Do you remember Walt Waverly, wasn’t he the worst! So rude…’
Ruby gave up listening, this type of conversation could go on for hours between her mother and Barbara and it was unlikely that they would return to the point. She wandered upstairs to the kitchen, deep in thought. Grabbing a cookie, she made her way up to her room, pulled out her notebook and jotted down everything she had overheard. Her mother might be convinced it was just a case of mistaken identity, but Ruby wasn’t so sure.
One thing her mother was right about, however, was that she had been having a lot of bad luck lately.
Chapter 24.
A total yawn
THURSDAY CAME AND IT STARTED WELL – that is to say, the sun came up. But things went downhill from there.
First of all, Ruby was woken early by Consuela.
‘Hey Ruby, get up. Your new bed has arrived.’
‘I have a bed, I’m in it,’ muttered Ruby. She had the covers pulled up to her nose and an eye mask, printed with the words, wake only in case of emergency.
Consuela lifted the mask. ‘Well, your mother has bought you a whole bedroom set so you better snap to it senorita.’
Ruby pulled the covers over her face. ‘Tell her I like it the way it is. I like the space, it’s very Zen, you know what I’m saying?’
‘Well, you can discuss it with her yourself, I’m not interested – but furniture or no furniture she wants you out of here,’ said Consuela.
‘As far as I am aware,’ said Ruby confidently, ‘today is Twinford Blossom Day and that means a local holiday which means I get to stay in bed.’
‘Not today missy,’ said Consuela, tapping her foot. ‘Today you have lunch with the Humberts.’
Slowly Ruby peeled the sheet from her face. ‘You are not serious?’
Consuela who was standing with her hands firmly on her hips nodded. ‘Sorry to ruin your Thursday but you better get dressed missy – rapido.’
Ruby was missing Mrs Digby. She would at least have looked sympathetic.
The thing was, Brant Redfort was a stickler for manners and the very thought that anyone might feel in any way snubbed by a member of the Redfort family made him shudder. There were no two ways about it – she would have to go.
‘Hey, has my jacket been mended yet?’ asked Ruby.
‘No, Hitch sent it away,’ said Consuela.
‘Sent it away where?’ asked Ruby.
‘To the place that’s cleaning your mother’s jacket – Clean and Crisp or something – he says it’s the best for repairs.’
Darn it, thought Ruby, that watch sure would come in handy on a boring day like today – hey, I might even have been able to abseil out of there.
Ruby picked up a T-shirt from the floor – it bore the slogan what a total yawn.
Consuela clicked her tongue. ‘You wear that, young lady, and your mom’s gonna freak.’
‘Yeah, you got that right,’ said Ruby, throwing it back into the closet.
When the Redforts arrived at the Humbert’s impressive home, they were greeted enthusiastically. ‘How wonderful that you all could come,’ and ‘oh Ruby you look just darling in that dress!’ and ‘Quent’s just dying to show you his new magic trick.’
The Humberts were really very nice people – it was just, well, they were also kinda boring.
Quent had invited a few of his friends over and Ruby found herself sitting at what was quaintly referred to as the “kids table”. If that wasn’t insulting enough then the level of conversation she had to endure during lunch was the final slap in the face.
‘Hey Ruby, can you do this?’ Quent was holding his thumb in front of Ruby’s face and was bending it back and forth to show her how it could go in either direction. ‘It’s double-jointed! Isn’t that neat?’
‘Neat!’ said Ruby in an overly bright tone which anyon
e but Quent might regard as “sarcasm”.
Ruby strained to hear what was being discussed next door in the dining room. ‘Freddie has had had quite the week, haven’t you dear?’ said Marjorie Humbert.
‘I’ll bet he has,’ said Brant, ‘this gold delivery must be big news for your team at the bank?’
‘Oh it’s big news all right but what I haven’t told you – and I say this confidentially just between us,’ said Freddie Humbert, reducing the volume of his voice to a loud dramatic whisper, ‘is that we have a threat to the bank’s security!’
‘Oh my good gracious – can this be true?’ cried Sabina. ‘I heard that Twinford Bank has the safest safe in the whole of the entire country?’
‘And so it has!’ boomed Freddie. ‘But even so it has recently come to light that there is a sophisticated plot to rob the Twinford City Gold the very night after it arrives from Switzerland.’
Brant was astonished. ‘No wonder you have been so on edge – I haven’t seen you on the golf course in days!’
‘He’s been so busy,’ exclaimed Marjorie.
‘But how could anyone possibly find their way into the bank vaults? I thought they were designed like an actual maze,’ said Sabina.
‘That’s true,’ assured Freddie, ‘navigating your way through the basement is the first problem any would-be bank robber will encounter and that’s before they even get to the safe.’
‘I know all about that Freddie,’ said Dr Gonzales, the museum curator. ‘The museum basement was designed by the very same architect, Jeremiah Stiles, and is almost identical to yours. Great idea to have a maze leading to your bank vaults but not so good if you are trying to locate antiquities in a museum!’
‘Makes the buildings pretty impenetrable though,’ said Freddie Humbert. ‘You have to know the passageways like the back of your hand.’
‘They don’t stand a chance,’ said Marjorie earnestly, ‘not with the security team Freddie has lined up.’
‘Sounds like you could do with some of the experts we have had working on the museum security,’ said Dr Gonzales, competitively. ‘We have gone very high technology.’
‘Yes, that whole Buddha rising through the floor thing – that is impressive,’ agreed Freddie.
‘Not to forget the amazing display cylinder,’ said Dr Gonzales, proudly.
‘Well that’s not so impressive – it’s just glass,’ scoffed Freddie, ‘one knock and it’s in pieces.’
‘Not just glass, unbreakable glass,’ corrected the curator. ‘And it comes with a unique locking device which will be delivered to me and me alone on the night.’
‘How exciting,’ said Sabina, who was just about on the edge of her seat.
To Sabina, the Jade Buddha seemed a whole lot more thrilling than all that dreary old gold.
‘Well,’ grunted Freddie Humbert, ‘I can assure you, it is nothing compared to the City Bank’s security – no one will be breaking in, not if I have anything to do with it. Safest safe in the USA, I promise you that.’
It ought to be, thought Ruby, with the whole of Spectrum working to keep it that way.
‘So how about it Ruby? Ruby?’ Ruby felt a tug on her arm.
‘Huh?’ said Ruby. Quent was pulling at her sleeve, trying to get her attention.
‘You up for a game of sardines?’
Oh boy, thought Ruby. Five eager faces were looking at her. ‘Yeah. Sure I do – nothing I’d like more.’
‘All right!’ shouted Quent triumphantly. ‘You wanna hide first?’
‘Nah it’s OK, you hide Quent, we can all split up and find you.’
‘You don’t want to team up?’ asked one of the other kids.
‘Nah, I’m better on my own – focuses the mind if you know what I mean. Why don’t you guys team up and I’ll go solo.’ She had her notebook with her and a list of things she needed to figure out.
One was:
WHAT DID LOPEZ SEE IN THE MIRROR?
It seemed to Ruby that it was no accident that so little was known about Lopez, she had wanted it that way. But when you leave no clues that in itself becomes a clue. As soon as she’d found a good hiding place, she took out her notebook and studied her questions.
QUESTION:
Why did Lopez stake out the Fool’s Gold Gang?
ANSWER:
Because her life lacked adventure
..................................................
QUESTION:
Why hadn’t she told anyone?
ANSWER:
Because she was breaking the rules
..................................................
QUESTION:
Was she spotted by the gang?
ANSWER:
Certainly
..................................................
QUESTION:
Did they think she was up to something?
ANSWER:
There was no way of knowing
Ruby had the foresight to bring the Spectrum dog whistle with her – she had a feeling it might come in handy. And she was right. Every once in a while, Ruby put the whistle in her mouth, inhaled and shouted, ‘Where are you guys?’ This gave the impression that she was moving around looking for them, rather than sitting on her behind in a cosy linen closet down in the Humbert’s laundry room.
At four o’clock Ruby went and found Quent and his friends who by now had given up on the game and were desperately trying to find her.
‘My gosh,’ she said. ‘You are all so good at this, I couldn’t find you anywhere.’
That evening at five minutes to six Clancy Crew was leaning on the Redfort’s doorbell as if his life depended on someone letting him in.
‘Hey! Where’s the fire?’ said an irritated Consuela.
But Clancy just shouted ‘sorry’ as he ran up the stairs two at a time.
He burst into Ruby’s room and plopped himself into the huge beanbag and said, ‘So?’
‘Jeepers Clancy, take a breath.’
‘So what were we doing yesterday in Everly?’ he asked
‘Well I sorta had this hunch that the code breaker I have replaced – well, am standing in for – had a secret.’
‘A secret, how do you mean?’
‘I think old Agent Lopez got bored of sitting at her desk cracking codes and started to wonder what it would be like to be an action agent. So one day there she is getting her nails done when bingo, she figures something out and rather than call one of the trained action agents she decides that she will go and stake it out herself.’
Clancy was impressed. ‘How’d ya figure that?’
‘I got a little clue in the form of a pencil.’ Ruby dropped the Fountain pencil in Clancy’s lap. ‘I found it behind Lopez’s desk, and then I figured she must have worked out that the fountain in the code was the Fountain Hotel.’
‘Nice work Rube.’
‘So now I see why I can’t find the missing code in the files.’
‘Why?’ asked Clancy
‘Because it isn’t in the files, it’s on that little piece of paper that Lopez picked up.’
‘But Felix said there was nothing on that piece of paper,’ said Clancy.
‘Maybe nothing you could see,’ corrected Ruby, ‘but what if that was the point?’
‘How dya mean?’ said Clancy
‘OK, so the lady writes something on the pad like so.’ Ruby took out her ballpoint pen and wrote something on her notepad. ‘Then she tears off the top sheet and walks away, leaving the blank pad on the table for her accomplice to pick up.’
Ruby tore out the page and handed the pad to Clancy. ‘And I’ll bet if you rubbed a soft pencil over that blank sheet you would see the message.’
Clancy did as Ruby suggested and the impressions made by Ruby’s pen were revealed on the paper.
‘Pretty smart,’ said Clancy. ‘But how come Lopez didn’t tell anyone?’
‘Because she didn’t want to get into trouble with Spectrum,’ said Ruby. S
he paused. ‘And you see now I find myself in exactly the same position. What do I do? Should I tell LB how Lopez is not the goody-goody they think she is or what?’
Clancy was torn. He understood the problem: never rat on a friend or ally – that was his rule. He would rather die a thousand horrible deaths than betray a comrade.
‘I can see another problem,’ said Clancy.
‘Yeah and what’s that?’ said Ruby. ‘You are going to be in the same trouble yourself if you tell Spectrum how you know what you know.’
‘You’re not wrong there my friend, I just gotta get some proof and then they’ll listen.’
‘And if you can’t?’ said Clancy.
‘Then I just have to convince them with the old Redfort gift of the gab.’
‘Good luck with that,’ said Clancy.
When Clancy and Ruby walked into the living room they were greeted by a smiling Mr and Mrs Redfort, who were sitting on lawn furniture while Hitch set up a brand new slide projector. Hitch gave her a look which Ruby took to mean, “better you than me”.
‘I’ll make some popcorn,’ she said, and she and Clancy disappeared into the kitchen. Clancy chatted excitedly while Ruby set up the popcorn popper.
‘Hey you two,’ called her mother, ‘almost ready!’
‘Just coming,’ said Ruby, adopting the face of a condemned man.
‘Hey Clancy,’ came Brant’s voice. ‘Come and tell us what you have you been up to – we haven’t seen you for a while.’
Clancy reluctantly slipped off his stool and went into the living room.
While Ruby waited for the corn to pop she felt around in her pocket, pulled out the keyring and started sliding the rainbow coloured letter tiles up down and across. Maybe it transforms into something cool, she thought. But no, it really did seem to be just some dumb old puzzle. She had made a word: ‘FLY’.
Big deal, she said to herself.
From the kitchen she could hear Clancy doing his best to fake enthusiasm. ‘Wow, Mrs Redfort that looks like a great portrait of your shoes.’ And, ‘nice close-up of your thumb’ And, ‘Gee, Mr Redfort, that’s a very snowy picture of snow.’