by Lauren Child
‘I had trouble enrolling,’ said Bailey Roach.
‘Well, never mind,’ said the history teacher, ‘you’re here now – there’s a desk next to Mr Crew.’
Clancy looked up and at once knew that his invisibility ruse was not going to cut it. The gorilla was sitting next to him. And when he caught Clancy’s eye he smiled and made a sign to suggest, I’m going to squash you to pulp, and then he returned to his studies.
Ruby meanwhile was having problems of her own – she didn’t feel like going home nor did she feel like hanging out; she didn’t feel like talking to anyone and she didn’t feel like being in her own company either.
She especially didn’t want to be at home, since her mother would no doubt go on and on about the Ada Borland portrait and how lucky Ruby was to have this great opportunity to have a picture snapped by this genius woman. Worse still Hitch was mad at her, and worse even than that, she could see his point of view.
She had followed the skywalker onto a tightrope 300 feet above the street, and she had fallen.
Or rather, someone had tried to kill her. She was certain of it: someone had cut through the cable. Not a good feeling to know that someone had tried to kill you. . . again.
So on balance, yes, being alone might be the better option, so when the school bell rang she picked up her skateboard and took herself out to a part of Twinford she liked a lot but rarely found herself in.
Clancy slammed the front door and went upstairs to find his sister Lulu.
‘What’s wrong?’ she said.
‘You know Vapona Begwell?’
‘Uh. . . that girl at Junior High? The one you pointed out to me that time?’
‘Yeah,’ said Clancy.
Lulu nodded. ‘Sure I do.’
‘Well this one’s worse.’ He slumped down on one of Lulu’s many floor cushions. He looked depressed.
‘Don’t tell me you’ve attracted the attention of yet another bozo,’ said Lulu.
‘Yeah,’ said Clancy slightly mournfully, ‘and it wasn’t even my fault, all I did was bump into him at the diner.’
‘Him?’ said Lulu.
‘Yeah, it’s a him and he’s kind of partial to socking people in the face,’ said Clancy.
Lulu made her mouth go out of shape, a sort of visual code for, you’re in trouble my friend.
‘Anyway, I thought it was just a one-off thing, you know, an unpleasant encounter in the diner, and I’d never see him again.’ He paused, Lulu waiting for him to continue. ‘But then he sorta turns up at school.’ Again Lulu waited. ‘To be accurate, my class.’
‘The kid, from the diner? The one who threatened to sock you in the face?’ Lulu wasn’t actually asking these questions, she was laying it out for him, acknowledging the direness of the situation and Clancy was grateful for that. Any adult would have played it down but not Lulu.
‘He sits next to me in history.’
Lulu let her whole face go with it now. ‘Dude, you are in seriously deep—’
Before she could finish her no-doubt colourful sentence, there was a tiny knock at the door.
‘Go away!’ said both Clancy and his sister in unison. They knew it was Olive.
‘Mom says you have got to be nice to me,’ came Olive’s sing-song voice.
‘We are being nice,’ said Lulu, ‘we are warning you that if you come in here we will kidnap Buttercup.’ (Buttercup was Olive’s new doll.)
Olive went away. Clancy and his sister continued to discuss his options for future survival. There was another knock at the door, much louder and much more insistent.
‘Enter,’ said Lulu, and in tottered Minny, Clancy’s oldest sister. She was tottering because she was not only wearing very high cork-wedge heels, but she also had a very full tray of snacks and sodas. She closed the door with her foot and dumped the tray on the floor.
‘Hey, that’s not fair,’ said a voice from behind the door. Olive obviously hadn’t gone away after all. ‘Why is she allowed in and not me?’ came the muffled whine.
‘Scram!’ shouted Minny, ‘or Buttercup is going in the blender.’ Minny didn’t believe in taking prisoners and this time Olive’s footsteps could be heard running down the staircase.
‘So,’ said Minny, looking from one sibling to another, ‘what seems to be the problem?’
Clancy repeated the story and Minny quizzed him on all the various options. These seemed to amount to: hire a bodyguard; move schools; or start working out – none of them seemed truly viable.
‘What does Ruby say?’ asked Minny.
‘I haven’t told her,’ said Clancy.
‘What?’ said Minny.
‘I don’t want her to know,’ said Clancy, ‘not after what she’s been through,’
‘Yeah, I get that,’ said Lulu, ‘she did almost bite the big one.’
‘Yeah, and she’s gone all weird,’ Clancy said, flapping his arms now.
‘You should take a look at yourself,’ said Minny.
‘Yeah but that’s different, I’m trying to blend, keeping a low pro, but Ruby, she thinks she’s indestructible. I mean, it’s dangerous, I’m telling you.’
‘It’s kinda dangerous having gorilla boy on your tail too,’ said Minny.
‘On the other hand,’ Lulu said, ‘I mean, if Ruby’s gone all kung fu warrior and stuff, why not get her to help?’
‘I don’t know,’ said Minny, ‘I think Clancy’s right. He’s got to sort this himself, even if Ruby doesn’t wind up dead taking on a pack of meatheads, she can’t always be there, right?’
‘So what do you suggest I do?’ said Clancy.
‘Stop running,’ said Minny, ‘and beat the guy to a pulp.’
‘Maybe go tell Principle Levine,’ said Lulu, ‘this guy sounds dangerous. He could knock your block off.’
‘Great idea, I’ll look like a super sissy.’
‘Better a walking super sissy than a bozo without a head in a hospital bed,’ said Lulu.
‘Maybe start going to the gym,’ said Minny.
But what Clancy actually did was get on his bike and cycle around for a bit. He could use the air, though what he wanted more than anything was to find Ruby. If only he could tell her what was going on then he would feel a whole lot better.
Chapter 35.
A solid punch to the solar plexus
RUBY HAD BEEN THERE FOR ABOUT FORTY MINUTES when she was interrupted in her reading.
‘Hey,’ said a voice.
Ruby looked up from her comic to see the face of the kid with the over-styled hair.
She had been sitting in Sunny’s, a diner she rarely frequented, mainly because it wasn’t in her patch, but also because it didn’t do pancakes. Today she had wanted to take a little time to herself and here at Sunny’s she wasn’t likely to encounter anyone she knew, so she was surprised when she saw the kid called Beetle.
‘Hey,’ she said.
‘Can I buy you a drink or something?’ he asked.
‘I got one already thanks,’ said Ruby.
‘Can I get you another?’
‘Thanks but no thanks, I’m on a strict three milkshakes a day programme.’
‘You watching your figure?’
Ruby looked at him like he had lost a few marbles somewhere. ‘Why would I watch my figure?’
Beetle shrugged awkwardly. ‘No reason.’
‘I’m just trying to keep a balanced food intake, you know, dietary requirements? Minerals, vitamins, that kinda stuff.’
He nodded again like he had no idea what she was talking about.
‘So what’s on your mind?’ asked Ruby.
‘How. . . do you. . . mean?’ stammered Beetle.
‘You seem like you want to tell me something,’ said Ruby.
‘Oh, uh, yeah, that’s right, I got your book, the one you left outside the store.’
Ruby gave him a blank look until he pulled a scruffy paperback out of his jacket pocket and placed it on the table. The title was written to look like it was scrawl
ed in blood, No Time to Scream.
‘Oh, yeah, thanks man,’ said Ruby. ‘I forgot about that. I thought I’d never find out what happened to poor old Philippo. Did he make it back to camp or did he get –’ she drew her hand across her throat – ‘axed to smithereens by the maniac?’
‘He got away.’
‘Oh, thanks for telling me buster,’ said Ruby tossing the book onto the next table.
‘Ah sorry, I thought you, like, wanted to know, I only read the last few pages.’
‘Ah, doesn’t matter, there’s plenty more thrillers out there.’
The boy smiled. ‘You sure have a gory taste in books.’
‘So you like books about bunnies?’ asked Ruby.
‘No! Course not, but I’m not a girl.’
‘Which century were you born bozo?’ said Ruby giving him a straight-up look.
‘I just meant most of the girls I have ever met read about fashion and stuff.’
‘Sounds like you need to shake up your social life.’ Something remembered passed through her head. ‘Hey, what’s the time anyway?’ Where was her watch?
‘I don’t know, like, six pm?’ shrugged Beetle.
Ruby stood up. ‘I gotta split,’ she said, then paused before adding, ‘If you don’t mind my mentioning it, you seem a little antiquated in your thinking, Beetle. Maybe you should read a few books, broaden your horizons, you know what I’m saying? Look, see you around.’
His eyes followed her as she left and he hoped she might turn around, perhaps even wave.
But she didn’t.
It was as Clancy Crew was making his way home that he felt a solid punch to the solar plexus.
He felt queasy and found himself propped up against the nearest wall, taking in gulps of breath. He hadn’t actually been struck, in fact, there was no one on the sidewalk. The wind had picked up and it was not the sort of evening for lingering.
The light was fading and the stores and restaurants were brightly lit now, the windows illuminated so each held a little glowing scene in the darkness. It was in one of these windows that he saw something that sent him reeling, something he really couldn’t begin to explain. And now he felt completely alone.
Chapter 36.
Fearless
RUBY BEGAN WENDING HER WAY BACK TO CEDARWOOD DRIVE. At first she let the board take her at the speed it wanted to go, and then she considered how she might rack up some extra goody points if she made it home super-early – her mom wanted to yack on about Ada Borland. Sabina wanted to plan what Ruby would wear for the portrait and explain what Ruby should say when she met Ada and impress on Ruby how polite she should be and how lucky Ruby was to have such a great artist give her this unique opportunity and blah, blah, blah.
Ruby manoeuvred herself into the centre of the traffic and fixed on a suitable car to grab onto. The driver was a little reckless and he ran more than a couple of red lights but that suited Ruby fine. Besides, she could use the thrill.
Clancy felt dizzy. His mouth was dry and his heart pumping fast; he had to stop for a minute.
Take it easy Clance.
He needed a soda or something. Just to give him the energy to get home.
The driver of the car Ruby was hanging from the back of hit his brakes without warning, and she was sent careering into oncoming traffic. Her attempt to make a turn on Midtown Avenue failed completely, there was just no way through, and so she went sailing on down the Fountain Park Slopes, gathering speed as she travelled.
Yikes.
She flew through a red light and caused a minor collision, swerved her way through a gaggle of elderly theatre-goers as they ventured over the pedestrian crossing, and would have made it all in one piece had it not been for the police car making a left. At this point she was separated from her transport, sailed over the cop car, her skateboard freewheeling under, and girl and board were destined never to reunite.
Ruby landed in a sprawling heap on the tarmac of Fountain Park Slopes and the skateboard continued on its journey.
Remarkably, apart from the severely grazed arm, an eye that was swelling by the second, and a horrible-looking knee poking through jeans that were ripped to shreds, Ruby Redfort was actually in good shape, as in: not dead.
The cops stood over her like she was an alien who had fallen from her spaceship.
‘Hi officer,’ said Ruby.
‘Why is this kid not dead?’ said one of the officers to the other.
‘Beats me,’ said his partner. ‘Must have a guardian angel watching over her.’
‘Something like that,’ said Ruby, looking down at her still-breathing self. Boy am I lucky, she thought.
Clancy hadn’t spotted the kids outside the minimart. He’d been too distracted by his breathing trouble and subsequent struggle to open the can. The soda felt good as he gulped it down, cold and sugary and fizzy. He was OK, it was all OK, really it was. He bent down to unlock his bike and when he stood up they were surrounding him.
‘Nice wheels,’ said the gorilla, ‘though I think they would suit you better if they was yellow, you know, chicken-coloured.’ He laughed and his gorilla friends laughed too, even though it was a pretty pathetic joke in Clancy’s opinion.
Clancy looked at all four of them, their big leering faces, their ugly smiles, their dumb comments. Why was he frightened of these losers? And suddenly he found courage, even all alone as he was in the little side alley of Marty’s minimart. Suddenly he felt fearless.
After she was checked over by a doctor at the ER, Ruby was escorted by the two cops – Officer Nadal and Officer Polpo – back to Cedarwood Drive.
Sabina Redfort practically fainted when she saw the two cops standing there outside the front door, and her expression only slightly relaxed when Ruby stepped out from behind them. The thing was her darling daughter’s face did not resemble the face she had kissed goodbye to that same morning. This face looked horrible; it was a funny colour and puffy in all the wrong places.
‘Oh my good gosh, whatever happened to you?’
‘Skitching, ma’am,’ said Polpo.
‘It’s an illegal activity,’ said Nadal.
‘I’m sorry?’ Sabina looked puzzled. ‘Knitting is illegal?’
‘Skitching,’ repeated Nadal, with more emphasis. ‘It’s an activity that involves hanging onto a moving vehicle while skateboarding, roller skating or cycling.’
‘What?’ said Sabina.
‘I’m sorry to inform you, ma’am, that your daughter was involved in this illegal method of transportation.’
‘Who says it’s illegal?’ said Ruby. ‘Discouraged, sure, but illegal. . . I don’t think so.’
Sabina glared at her. ‘Don’t push your luck, pancake! You are already well and truly in the doghouse, you have a portrait booked for tomorrow for jeepers’ sake, and I can’t cancel Ada Borland – no one cancels Ada Borland – the woman’s a genius.’
‘I’m sorry, ma’am?’ said Officer Nadal, who had no idea what was going on.
‘Might I be of help, officers?’ asked Hitch, who seemed to have appeared from nowhere. ‘Mrs Redfort, why don’t you take Ruby up to her room, she needs to lie down, get Mrs Digby to fix her some soup, while I chat this over with the officers.’
Ruby missed what happened next, but ten minutes later Hitch was in the kitchen brewing up herb tea for her mother, while simultaneously on the line to a highly regarded masseuse, and at the same time listening to Sabina who was saying, ‘What’s the kid trying to do, kill herself? Have I failed as a mother? Have we not been there for her? Is this a cry for help? And someone please tell me. . . what are we going to do about her portrait? Have you seen that bruise? Have you seen the lip? Geez, the kid could double for the ugliest member of the Addams Family.’
Clancy heard their footsteps fading off into the distance, their whoops of laughter as they turned the corner. He reached a hand to his forehead and felt the warm sticky blood oozing from the cut on his eyebrow. He tried to stand, his ribs aching from where they ha
d punched him. His arm felt dead. His hair felt funny, smelled funny; that of course was due to the spray paint – how was he going to explain this to his mom? She was unlikely to understand why his hair was now canary yellow and if he told her the truth she would no doubt call the police, the school and Bailey Roach’s mom, and Clancy really didn’t want that.
He found his bike, the front mudguard now bent out of shape and its beautiful Windrush blue marred by the yellow sweep of the aerosol can.
He picked up the bike and very slowly wheeled it home. He needed to clean the paint off before it set hard.
Ruby must not see this.
Chapter 37.
The magic of the movies
RUBY HAD A VERY SORE HEAD when she woke up the next morning.
She examined her face in the bathroom mirror. Ruby you look terrible, she told herself. She got dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen, poured herself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table.
She looked up when Hitch entered the room, but continued to eat her Cheerios.
Hitch said nothing.
‘Look about the skitching—’ she finally muttered.
‘I’m not interested in that,’ said Hitch cutting her off. ‘You want to kill yourself that way, that’s your business.’
She resumed her eating.
‘But there is something I need to ask you and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to like the answer.’
Ruby looked up just for a second.
‘Before I rescued you from that flagpole, where were you exactly?’
‘In the vicinity,’ replied Ruby.
‘As in, near the Warrington Apartments?’ asked Hitch.
‘If the Warrington Apartments are in the vicinity, then I guess so,’ said Ruby.
‘Funny thing,’ said Hitch, he wasn’t taking his eyes off her. ‘The TCPD found footprints in the Thompson apartment, fresh footprints, in the chalk dust – size 3s.’
Ruby took another spoonful of cereal. ‘Must have belonged to the security guard.’
‘You would imagine so but you see the thing that’s going through my mind is, what security guard has size 3 feet?’