by Anna Brooks
“Amie, you requested to say your vows first.”
I’m shocked by this and have to wipe my sweaty palms on my khaki shorts. I laugh at myself, because it makes sense now why Nik wanted to go to a fancy place for lunch.
“Yes, I did.”
“By all means,”—the pastor holds out his hand to motion to her—“the floor is yours.”
“I’ve loved you since I was sixteen years old.” Her eyes well up with tears, and I fight back mine so I can see her beautiful face.
“Every decision I made from the moment we met was made with you in mind. I did things because of you. I hid things from you because I only wanted what was best for you. I pushed you away. But through it all, I never stopped loving you. And my vow, sorry”—she laughs and wipes her eyes—“my vow moving forward is to make decisions with you, not to assume I know how you’re going to react. Even though I know you well enough to know, you still have the right to make your own choices.”
She squeezes my hands. “I vow to love you, to cherish you, to respect you, to honor you”—her breath hitches—“and to be the best mother to your daughter for the rest of my life. I won’t ever lie to you or be unfaithful to you. But most importantly, I vow to let go of the past and live for the future. Our future. Our family’s future.”
She looks down the aisle, and my mom sets Clover on the grass. Her little legs can barely keep up with how fast she runs down the aisle giggling, and I finally lose it. My eyes blur, and I crouch down to hold my arms out for her. When she reaches me, she hits me in the face like she loves to do, and I kiss her cheeks.
She has a bow tied around her wrist, and Amie pulls it loose, then slides the ring off and puts it on my finger. I look away from her gaze because I can’t take it. She brings out emotions in me that I don’t ever show, emotions I didn’t even know I had.
“Declan, would you like to say something?” The pastor interrupts my moment, and I finally look up into my almost wife’s beautiful face. She’s smiling and happy. Like she used to be.
I nod at the pastor. “Yeah, yes, I would.”
I hitch Clover up on my hip, and before I chicken out, I begin speaking. “There hasn’t been a single day in my life since I was sixteen that I haven’t thought about you. Even when we were apart, you were still with me. You never left me. And I never left you. My heart belongs to you. It always will.”
I grab her hand with one of mine. “I have everything I always wanted. And my vow to you is to make you happy.”
“You make me happy,” she interrupts.
“And I’ll continue to do that. We can do anything if we’re together, and as long as you’re by my side, I don’t need anything else. You and Clover are my entire life, and because you know me as well as you say you do, you know what it means when I tell you that my vow is to love you until the day I die. My love is unconditional. My love is yours.”
“That was really good for not being prepared.” She laughs.
“I don’t ever need to rehearse how I feel about you.” I raise an eyebrow, and she wipes under her eyes.
Pierce walks over to me and hands me a ring. Amie’s promise ring.
“I don’t want something new. I want that. I want all the happy memories we have to be right next to the new ones we’re going to make. I want to look down on my hand and see the past and the future together.”
I slide the ring onto her finger and lean forward to kiss her. Clover kicks and squirms, and I kiss her cheek, too.
“I now pronounce you man and wife. Kiss your bride. Again.”
Everyone laughs, and I kiss Amie. Again. She wraps her arms around Clover and me. Our families cheer, and as I look out at them, I can’t help but become overrun with emotions.
My cousin Char and her husband, Travis, hold their kids, Caroline and Sean. I couldn’t be more proud of the woman she is today. I know she’s in good hands with Travis. He’s a good man and an even better father.
I’m overjoyed that his brother, Brandon, came into our family as well. I look out at him and his wife, Mary, who is holding their son, Steven, and smile. The two brothers are men I am honored to have with me today.
My baby sister stands in Liam’s arms with Melody, and my throat begins to tingle when I see how happy Meara is for me. She’s always been a spitfire but always out of love. The fact she’s here supporting my new wife and me means the world to me.
Pierce whistles and his girl, Ruby, gives him a little shove, then wipes her eyes. He laughs and kisses the top of her head. She’s made him so happy, and for that alone, she is already in my good graces.
Nik, my best friend. The man who has been my rock when I needed, the man who is more like a brother to me than a friend, stands with his fiancé, Lisa, and I give him a knowing smirk. He’s next.
Our parents cheer us on, and Amie intertwines our fingers as we step down from the podium. We’re swept up in congratulatory hugs and pulled in different directions. But just like always, I find her. Everyone else blurs out, and she’s the only thing in my line of vision.
I watch as she throws her head back and laughs. It hits me straight in my dick and in my gut. I can’t believe she did all this for me. She looks over at me and smiles, and I walk toward her. She stops smiling, and when I reach her, I pick her up.
“We’ll be right back.” I carry her bridal style, and my dad opens the back door for us.
When I see what’s inside, I almost drop her. “Holy shit.” She grabs on to me tighter, and I turn in a circle. A large three-tier cake sits on the dining room table in the middle of a decorated house. The kitchen smells heavenly, and I turn my head to see caterers busily slicing.
I walk past them and head to our bedroom. As soon as I’m inside, I kick the door shut and set her down. My hands frame her face, and I kiss her. Harder than I ever have before. Days, weeks, months, years… a fucking decade and a half of my hopes and dreams pouring out. I press my forehead against hers and rub my thumbs along her cheekbones.
“I have something for you.”
“We can’t.” She laughs. “Everyone is downstairs.”
I chuckle under my breath. “Oh, you’ll get that later. But what I’m talking about is something else. It’s something bigger. It’s a part of me that I’ve always wanted to share with you.”
“Okay…”
“Stay here.”
I kiss her nose, then grab an envelope out of my dresser drawer and hand it to her.
“What is this?”
“Open it.”
With shaky hands, she slides her finger under the seal and pulls out the papers. When she sees the heading, her hands shake, and she looks at me with the most sincere shock and love I’ve ever seen.
“Are you serious?”
“Of course. I want this. Clover wants this. You and I are official, and that means it should be official with our daughter.”
“But—”
“No, no buts, no overthinking. If you need to process this, it’s fine. I could sit here and declare my undying love for you and tell you how lucky Clover is to have you in her life. But the reality is you know it as much as I do.”
“Know what?”
“That we belong together. All three of us.”
“I don’t need to think about it. I’m…” She sniffles. “I’m honored, Declan, really.”
“Good. Now that that’s out of the way…” I pick her up and toss her on the bed.
“What are you doing?”
“Making love to my wife.”
I unzip my shorts and pull out my already hard dick. “You seriously think looking at you in that little white dress, surprising the shit out of me with this wedding, listening to you say your vows, agreeing to adopt Clover… did you think I wouldn’t need to be inside you?”
I push her dress up and growl at the white garter on her thigh.
“Yeah, but not till later when everyone left. I even got us a hotel room for the night. I made arrangements with—” She gasps when I slide into her.
I lean over her and seal my mouth over hers, each of us muffling the other’s moans and grunts. I slow down and sit up, watching as I connect with my wife.
“I love you,” she whispers.
“Love you too, honey.”
“So much.”
“So fuckin’ much.”
“Never stopped.”
“Never did, never will,” I vow.
I entwine our hands and raise them above her head, looming above her. She tightens against me, and I pant against her mouth, building to my own peak. My eyes look into hers as we find our release together.
“I’ve never felt or seen anything more beautiful than that in my life. Thank you for giving me this. For giving me everything.”
“You’re the one who has given me more than I could ever ask for.”
“You surprised me.” I laugh. “No idea how you kept this from me, but I’m pleased you did.”
“Speaking of, don’t you think it’s a little rude to leave everyone out there while we’re participating in post-marital coitus?”
“Yeah, probably.” I slowly slide out of her and help her clean up.
She fixes her hair in the bathroom, and we walk downstairs holding hands. When we make our way outside, everyone hoots and hollers. Amie buries her head in my side out of embarrassment.
“I can’t believe you carried me in there like a Neanderthal. Now they all know what we did.”
I tilt her head up and give her a small peck. “I’m not sorry.”
A letter from the author
Well, this is the end of the It’s Kind Of Personal series. It’s been a fun, sexy, and emotional journey with these characters. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading their stories as much as I’ve loved writing them.
Thank you for coming along on their ride with me. When I started writing Make Me Forget, I didn’t plan on the series being as big as it is. As sad as I am to see them go, I’m excited to move on to some other stories. You’re going to notice some characters from this series pop up in other books (and maybe even get their own stories)!
I’m so, so grateful and humbled by the support I’ve received, and I can’t thank you enough for taking a chance on me. <3
Love,
~Anna xo
Turn the page to start chapter one of FIXING FATE.
Read an excerpt, available now:
FIXING FATE
Chapter 1
Mellie
I should turn around right now. Go back to my nice, cozy apartment in the city where I can cuddle with my cat. Continue living my routine, normal, safe existence. But no, my conscience has me staying rooted. The run-down house in front of me is now my responsibility. Somehow.
My phone vibrates in the back pocket of my skinny jeans, so I pull it out and answer without looking because I already know who it is. Less than a handful of people have my number. “I’m here.”
“You were supposed to let me know you got there okay.”
I sigh at my older brother’s irritated tone. “Jay, I literally just got out of my car.”
He doesn’t apologize for being overbearing; he never has, and he never will. “How does it look?”
I take in the chipping blue paint, the missing porch rails, and the cracked windows. I can barely see the bottom of the house because the weeds are so overgrown. “Worse than I thought.”
“Damn. Are you sure you—”
“I’m not a child, Jay.” As much as I love him for looking out for me, I told him I’m ready to move on with my life. I hate that he questions me, but I suppose that’s what I get for relying on him so heavily in the past. “I’m twenty-two years old. I said I can take care of this, and I will.”
“I know that, but I don’t like you being so far away.”
“It’s only five hours.”
“I know that, too.”
I wait for him to relax. It’s understandable that he’d be nervous because I’ve never been so far away from him before. He is not only my brother, but he’s also my best friend, my protector. We recently found out that the grandfather who disowned my mom when she got pregnant with Jay at sixteen had passed away and left me his house. I didn’t even know he knew about me, so when the certified paper came in the mail from his attorney, I was shocked.
My job allows me to work from home, so my plan was to come up here, clean and empty the house, and then sell it. But after seeing that the front porch is crumbling, I’m thinking it will take more work than I originally anticipated.
Jay doesn’t say anything else, and I can almost feel the tension over the line. Sometimes he worries too much. “I need to go check out the damage. I’ll call you later.”
“Smith will be there tomorrow morning at eight.”
I bite my lip as I step closer to the house. “You’re sure he’s good? Because I’m telling you, Jay, this house is bad.”
“Yes, I’m sure. He’s the best at what he does”—he pauses—“and I trust him.”
His unspoken words give me the comfort I need deep down. Knowing he trusts this guy is something I needed to hear, even if I don’t admit it to him. I’ve never left my hometown, and I’ve damn sure never driven by myself and stayed in an unfamiliar city. Alone. Unprotected. “Okay.”
“He has a big crew. They should be able to fix everything pretty fast so you can come home. If I’m able to wrap up this damn case sooner, I’ll be there.” He’s been dealing with a big case, and when I ask him about it, he says he can’t tell me anything. He’s been with the Chicago P.D. since he was in his early twenties and was one of the youngest to make detective at thirty-one years old. The past couple of years have been insanely busy for him with his new position, but he loves what he does.
“I know you will. Shit, Jay. I might have to do an entire gut and remodel.” I turn my head at the sound of a car door to my left. A tall woman with long, strawberry-blonde hair waves at me and grabs groceries from her trunk. I wave back and cautiously make my way up to the porch. “I’m gonna go take a look inside.”
“Okay. Call me in a little while and let me know how it’s going.”
“Will do. Bye, Jay.”
“Bye, Mel. Stay safe.”
I tuck my phone back in my pocket and grab the key that the lawyer gave me from my purse. Skipping the bottom two rotten steps, I tiptoe to the front door and put the key in the rusty lock. After I unlock it, I have to shoulder the sticky door to get it open. I wasn’t aware that dust had a smell, but when the particles hit me in the face, I cough and back up. Peering inside, I notice there is no furniture. Weird.
Slamming the door, I say to myself, “Nope, not happening. Not tonight.” I’m tired from driving and don’t want to mess with this piece of junk right now. Getting in my car, I quickly head to a hotel instead of staying at the house as I originally planned.
I’m not all that happy with my situation, so I don’t want to start the cleanup of that disgusting house right now. I check into the hotel and go to my room. Then lock the door, slide the chain in place, and then wedge a chair under the knob.
My body relaxes into the bed, and as soon as I turn on the TV, my eyes close and I fall asleep.
* * *
“This is such bullshit.” I rip out a section of carpet in the living room and immediately drop it when a sharp prick stabs me in the finger. “Ouch, crap.” Frustrated more than ever, I feel tears of anger well in my eyes. First, Jay’s stupid friend never showed up to give me an estimate for how much it would cost his company to fix the damage. I tried to call Jay, but he didn’t answer. I’ve spent all day busting my ass and trying to make a small dent in anything I can because I don’t want to be here any longer than necessary. I want to go back home. I’m tired, I’m hungry, I’m dirty, and I just cut myself for the twentieth time today.
The rickety water pipes drown out the music coming from my iPod when I turn on the kitchen faucet to wash my hands. “Stupid, this is so stupid. I didn’t even know the guy. Why would he leave me a freakin’ house?” Clear wat
er turns brown when dirt and blood rinse off my hands into the clogged basin. I scrub my hands, taking out my frustration on my dirty skin.
Something taps my shoulder, and I whip around and scream. Like horror movie scream. Loud and screechy and uneven. The man’s eyes widen, and he holds up his hands in surrender. My screams only become louder when I follow his tattooed arm to his neck and up past his face to meet his cold brown eyes.
They soften and immediately change the hardened look of his face. “Relax, Mellie. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m Smith, Jay’s friend. I knocked, but you didn’t hear me.”
His words sink in, and slowly, the adrenaline wears off, casting an eerie silence as my body trembles, and I slide to the floor. I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, breathing heavily through my nose. I fight to push away a panic attack and try to calm myself.
I thought I could do this—thought I could be on my own and independent—but now, I’m questioning myself.
He squats down in front of me, and I look up to see a line forming between his eyes as he assesses me. “Do you want me to call Jay?”
My head shakes rapidly, but I can’t seem to form any words yet. This will pass; I just need a minute. I haven’t had a panic attack in such a long time; I almost forgot how much I despise them.
Smith stands up and leans against the wall. I watch him watching me, and a gentle smile forms on his full lips. Breaking his intense gaze, I swallow and lower my head to get myself together, but not before I notice that his eyes are such a dark brown they’re almost black. After a moment, I push myself up, feeling like an idiot for being such a scaredy-cat.
“Are you okay?” He asks with genuine concern in his voice.
“Yeah, sorry about that. I’m really jumpy, and you scared the crap out of me.”