“Scott was working me out.”
“Yep! You know us!” came Scott’s voice from the en suite bathroom, his words muffled like he had a toothbrush in his mouth.
Zander rolled her eyes. They did seem to do a lot of that—”working out,” not brushing their teeth. Hopefully, they did a lot of that too. She had to shake the thought from her head. “Great. Well, you wanna ride together to Mom’s?”
“Mm hm.” Cecily swallowed and wiped a new bead of sweat from her forehead.
Zander paused. “You okay?”
Cecily nodded and blinked slowly. “Totally.”
“Okay then.” Zander took a single step back from the door. “Meet downstairs in an hour?”
“Sounds good.” The door slammed shut before Cecily had finished speaking—then the door to the bathroom slammed shut next.
O-kay. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
An hour later, Zander was sitting on the sofa with her feet in Callum’s lap as they both scrolled their feeds when the sound of Cecily and Scott coming down the stairs pulled her eyes from her phone.
“You ready?” But the words fell flat as they left Zander’s lips. Cecily looked like hell.
“Yeah, give me a second.” Her skin was pale, and there were shadows under her eyes as she headed into the kitchen with Scott on her heels.
Maybe she still wasn’t feeling well from whatever bug had made her call in sick to work a few days ago—but if she wasn’t feeling well, why had her and Scott been “working out” this morning? What the hell?
Zander nudged Callum’s thigh with her toes and ticked a nod toward the kitchen when he looked at her. When his expression turned questioning, she motioned for him to follow her. Then she pushed herself up from the sofa. If Cecily wasn’t well, she had no business going to their mom’s apartment. And if she wasn’t well, Scott was going to have to explain why he was taking care of his dick instead of his girlfriend.
Ugh. Why’d she have to think that? And, more to the point, that wasn’t Scott’s style. He was one of the most conscientious guys she knew. So then what was going on?
As she and Callum rounded the corner to the kitchen, she was about to ask Cecily if she was okay. Instead, she stopped short.
Cecily and Scott were standing close, talking in hushed tones that ceased as soon as Cecily’s gaze landed on Zander.
“What’s going on?” Zander asked. She hated surprises—and she hated secrets even more.
“Uh.” Cecily threw a glance at Scott. Then she shrugged and shook her head, a wordless what-the-hell. “I’m pregnant.”
There was one bet of silence before Callum’s disbelieving laugh filled the kitchen. “Holy hell, are you serious?”
“Dead serious.” Scott’s smile was crooked as he ran his hand up the back of his hair. It spread when Callum came in for a hug. “We couldn’t find the right time to tell you.”
“Right time, fuck that!” Callum exclaimed, slapping Scott on the back, then turning and catching Cecily in a hug next.
This could not be happening. That’s what was running on a loop through Zander’s head. Cecily, her littlest sister, pregnant.
Where were they going to put a baby in this house? The attic bedroom, maybe? That didn’t seem like a good place for a baby to sleep. Wait, did this mean Cecily and Scott were going to move out of the house and get their own place?
Oh god, would Callum want a baby next?
Zander suddenly realized the room had gone quiet. With effort, she got her attention to focus back on her sister whose brows were drawn up in the middle with worry and whose eyes were glassy with tears.
“You okay?” Cecily asked.
The laugh that bubbled up Zander’s throat was cracked and not intentional. She pushed a smile onto her face. “Of course I’m okay. I should be asking you that.” She crossed the room and lifted her arms as Cecily’s relieved smile sent tears rolling down her cheeks.
“I thought you were mad,” Cecily choked as she held Zander tight.
For a second, she had been—illogically mad—but there was no way Zander was going to tell her that. “Just shocked. Are you happy?” That’s what really mattered, right?
“We’re both happy,” Cecily replied over Zander’s shoulder.
“If you’re happy I’m happy.” She was surprised by how much she meant it. She’d be sad if they moved out and got their own place, but she’d deal. If that’s what they wanted, she’d support them.
“I’m happy.” Cecily’s laugh was a little anemic. “But I also might puke again in a minute.”
Zander had never let go of somebody so fast.
As Cecily beelined out of the room and Scott followed suit, Callum gave a chuckle that pulled Zander’s attention.
“Well, that was a surprise,” he said as he sidled up alongside her. “You actually okay?”
Zander drew a breath while she checked to make sure she wasn’t about to lie. “Yeah, I’m solid.”
“For a second you weren’t.” His blue eyes were full of knowing and love.
“For a second there, I really wasn’t,” she agreed.
In however many months, when they met Cecily and Scott’s baby, would Callum’s I-don’t-want-kids story flip a one-eighty? What would she do if that happened?
The sound of choking could be heard coming from the guest bathroom on the other side of the wall and Zander felt herself grimace. She really hoped Cal didn’t change his tune because if Zander ever so much as thought about having a baby, all anybody would have to do was remind her of that sound and it would snap her right out of it.
“I’m impressed Scott is hanging in there,” Callum remarked. “Puke is his kryptonite.”
⫷⫸⫷⫸⫷⫸
“Is that Alyssa’s car in one of the guest spots?”
Cecily turned when they reached the landing by their mom’s front door to look out into the parking lot. “It is, yeah.” She and Zander hadn’t said much to each other during the drive, so when Zander’s hand caught her wrist, Cecily was surprised by the interaction.
“Hold on. I feel like I didn’t react right to your news this morning.”
Cecily shook her head. “You reacted fine.” It’s not like she’d expected Zander to get all mushy or overly excited about it. She didn’t want kids, didn’t understand them, never had.
“Okay. I was just really surprised. And then I got all up in my head about it...”
Cecily smiled. “I know. It surprised us, too. And if it makes you feel any better, I got all up in my head about it at first as well.”
Zander looked relieved. “How long have you known?”
“A few days. We wanted to find the right time to tell you, like Scott said. Mom’s text sort of forced the timeline a bit.” Try a lot. They’d had planned to tell Zander and Callum over the weekend, over food and maybe after plying Zander with a bottle of wine. She really did hate surprises.
“I’m glad it wasn’t a big production,” Zander replied. “Plus, check it out, you haven’t puked again and it’s been almost an hour.”
She had a point. This was the longest stretch of freedom Cecily’d had all morning. She tried to laugh at that, but it came out low and sad instead as she turned opened the door.
Sure enough, Alyssa was there, sitting in her favorite spot—the middle of the sofa. She smiled and stood when she saw them.
“Hey!” She raised her arms as Cecily crossed the room.
As she hugged her sister, Cecily realized she had been as nervous to see Alyssa as she had been about whatever conversation their mom was planning. After the disaster of her reaction when Cecily told her about the baby, she honestly wasn’t sure how she’d act when they saw one another again.
“It’s so good to see you!” Alyssa cooed as the hug ended. The way she said it was completely normal, but the look on her face while she said it was another story—a false veneer smile below seriously stressed-out eyes. She lowered her voice to just above a whisper: “You said Mom didn’t freak out
.”
“She didn’t,” Cecily hissed. “She was surprised, but really cool.”
Alyssa looked less-than-convinced. “Then what was with her text message?”
“We were wondering the same thing,” Zander replied at normal volume. “Where is Mom, anyway?”
Alyssa shrugged. “She said she needed to do her hair.”
Cecily felt her expression go all what-the-hell. “Mom doesn’t usually take the time to style her hair.” At least not intricately. Their mother was a ponytail and jeans kind of woman.
“I know, right?” Alyssa replied. She lowered her voice again. “Honestly, I think she was just uncomfortable sitting out here with me alone.”
That didn’t make any sense. “I’m sure it’s not that.” Cecily looked to Zander for agreement, but instead found crossed arms and brows furrowed in suspicion. Before anybody could respond, however, the sound of Mom’s bedroom door drew their attention.
Nicole’s face lit into a smile when she saw the three of them standing there together. Her mid-length, light brown hair was in a ponytail on the back of her head.
“Zander and Cecily! You made it!” She came in for a hug.
Cecily hugged her mom, and Zander hugged her next.
“What’s all this about, Mom?” Zander asked as she pulled back from the hug.
“How about some coffee?” Her mom buzzed toward the kitchen. “I can break out the big French press like the old days.”
Wow, that had been quite the dodge. Zander’s expression confirmed she’d also noticed the topic avoidance.
“Tea for me,” Cecily said when it became clear they weren’t getting into this conversation until hot beverages were served. She felt so much better than she had before getting in the car with Zander, but coffee seemed like a fool hearty choice in the aftermath of a morning spent doubled over the toilet.
“I have mint tea!” Nicole offered, eyes bright. “I bought it just for you!”
Relief made Cecily’s eyes water and her lips pull into a smile. “Thanks mom. That sounds great.” At least somebody liked the idea of her and Scott having this baby. That wasn’t fair. Callum had been stoked, and Zander... well, Zander was processing. She’d get there.
“Well, now that we’re all properly fueled, I guess I’ll dive right in,” Mom said ten minutes later once they’d all settled onto the sofas.
“Yeah, you’ve got us all freaked out,” Alyssa said.
“No reason to freak out,” Mom began, “but, in light of Cecily’s news, there’s something we need to talk about. Honestly, we should have talked about it a long time ago.”
Cecily was holding her breath. Why did Mom have to say it had anything to do with her and her “news.” Drawing attention to her “news” was sort of the last thing she wanted right then. She let her breath out as quietly as she could and drew another—which she had to force herself to exhale again.
“Well, holy shit, Mom. What is it?” Zander sat her coffee mug on the table beside her and leaned forward.
“And if you’re about to confess that you were already pregnant with Zander when you and Dad got married, we know,” Alyssa remarked with a smile. “We can math.”
Their Mom opened her mouth as if to respond, but smiled instead, seeming to change direction at the last moment. “Yes, I was aware you all knew that—it’s never been a secret. However, it is related.”
Cecily threw a look at Zander. Her expression was all question and concern. Their mom might have said Zander’s age versus their parents’ wedding anniversary had never been a secret, but it had never been openly discussed, either. Not in a secretive way, more like they’d never needed to. Math was math—it didn’t lie. Zander had told her once that she’d asked their mom about it when she was young. Nicole had confirmed it, and they’d left it at that.
“Something you all might not know,” Nicole began again, “is that I met your dad—”
“When you were both in a club or something, right?” Alyssa cut in.
Nicole nodded. “Kind of. It was a group of people who were interested in the occult.”
Cecily froze. So did Zander. Their eyes met across the room. That was new information.
“The occult?” Alyssa asked. “Were you a goth?”
Nicole laughed. “Before that was a thing, yes. I guess I was.”
“Jesus Christ, mom,” Alyssa muttered. She picked her mug of coffee up from the side table and sat back into the sofa cushions like she needed a little distance from the conversation.
“I met a man in the group,” Nicole explained. “He was wonderful. And there was a connection there—like, a real spark.”
Cecily smiled. She knew that feeling—that instant connection, a bond like you’ve known this other person for years instead of minutes. It was nice to hear her mom talk about their dad that way—it was nice to know that it had started off wonderfully, even if it had ended horribly.
“I truly believed he was my soul mate,” Mom said. “I still do, in some ways. But we couldn’t be together.”
Wait. What?
“He was a medium.”
Cecily’s eyes found Zander’s across the room, wide with shock—and a thread of something she recognized but couldn’t define. Something she was feeling too.
“He said it was too dangerous for us to stay together,” Mom went on. “That he needed to be alone to keep me safe.”
Cecily watched pain lance across Zander’s face, she knew exactly what that felt like. Months and months ago, she said Callum had pushed her away because the Shadow had threatened to hurt her. He’d pushed her away because Miriam had told him it wasn’t safe to love anyone.
“Wait, so it wasn’t Dad you were talking about?” Alyssa said.
Their mother smiled and shook her head. “I’m afraid not, no. I met your dad shortly after Anders left. I was already pregnant with Zander.”
Zander was very still.
“Anders,” Cecily said. She looked to Nicole. “Sounds kind of like Zander.”
Nicole’s smile was soft and more than a little sad. “Short for Lysander,” she said, turning to Zander. “You’re named after him,”
With the sound of her own heart in her ears, Cecily watched Zander swallow. “Did he know? Dad, I mean.”
Nicole nodded. “He did. It wasn’t a secret.”
“Then why didn’t you tell Zander?” Cecily cut in. It made no sense. If it wasn’t a secret, why make it into one?
Nicole drew a breath. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Well, you can try,” Alyssa remarked.
“I bet I can handle it,” Zander said at the same time.
Nicole’s smile was bleak, her eyes full of worry. “I know you can handle it,” she said to Zander. “I never kept it from you to hurt you. Frankly, it was never the right time. And by the time it was...”
She paused, and when her eyes landed on Cecily, she suddenly knew what her mom was going to say next. “I was too young to understand it by the time Zander was old enough to explain it to.” Because her father and Zander’s father were the same person. It was so obvious.
Nicole gave a slow blink and a single nod.
“Jesus, Mom,” Alyssa breathed. Then with more volume, “Are any of us related to Dad? Or, the guy we thought was our dad, at least?”
“You are,” Nicole said with certainty as she looked to Alyssa. “He is your biological father.”
“Okay, so, wait.” Alyssa held a hand up, emphasizing her words with spread fingers. “You get pregnant with Zander from one guy—he leaves, so you marry Dad. Then...what? You cheated on Dad and got pregnant with Cecily?”
Nicole looked like she was trying to choose her words. “I did love your father—the man who raised you. At least I did at first. And...” she shrugged like she couldn’t come up with another way to say it. “Yes. That’s the gist of it. Anders came back to The States for a short time. I met up with him. We spent a weekend together. The next month I was pregnant.”
“Ugh. Thi
s is like daytime TV or something,” Alyssa cut in.
“How could you not tell us something like this?” Zander’s hazel eyes were laced with betrayal.
Meanwhile, Cecily felt like she was sinking.
“Because it didn’t matter,” Nicole said. “When Anders left that final time, that was it. He was never coming back.”
“Does he even know about us?”
“He knows about you,” Nicole replied smoothly. Then she looked to Cecily. “But not about you. I wasn’t even certain—”
“Mom, holy shit.” Zander stood from the sofa. “You sure know how to pick ‘em. First a guy who leaves you and never wants anything to do with his own kid, and then an abusive prick as a runner up. Really. Well done.”
“It wasn’t like that,” Nicole countered calmly. “From the outside, I see what you’re seeing, but it wasn’t like that. Anders has provided for you, Zander. How do you think I paid for your undergrad degree on my salary? Or Alyssa’s classes to become a legal assistant? Or Cecily’s English degree. Or for this three-bedroom apartment after I left Marcus.”
The room fell silent. Zander let her knees go slack so she plopped back onto the sofa with a sigh. “There I go running my mouth again.” Her eyes met Cecily’s and there was real regret there.
This was a lot to take in. Dad wasn’t their father. A man they’d never met had paid for their college degrees, and helped their mom keep the apartment she lived in.
Marcus wasn’t her father.
Cecily didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Then a thought occurred to her. “Wait. Did he know? Dad—Marcus. Whatever. Did he know I wasn’t his?”
Nicole started to respond but paused. “I think he suspected, after a time. It’s part of why I left him. I didn’t like how he treated you and I worried it was because he knew.”
“He was never mean to me.” Alyssa’s voice floated into the conversation, small but certain.
Nicole gave a nod. “Cecily, I didn’t know if you were his or Anders’s when you were born. It became clear you were Anders’ daughter as you got older. And then when Zander moved to New Orleans—”
“I’m a medium—that’s all the confirmation you needed.” It was so fucking obvious. Why hadn’t she ever thought about how she and Zander were so different from Alyssa—from their own mother? She’d never even asked the question of why she and Zander had dark hair while Alyssa’s was the color of Nicole’s—sandy brown. Marcus’s hair was blond.
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