I’m leaving early because I want to see him.
My phone vibrates in the cupholder as I wind through the streets of Fernwood. I fed Paige the same story about my disappearance last night as I told my parents. Unlike them, I think she might have an inkling of where I really went. Who I was with, at least.
I stop at Brewed Awakenings for a caffeine jolt. The coffee shop is bustling, filled with patrons eager for a beverage to accompany them on the commute into the city. I have to wait in line for a good ten minutes before I’m greeted by Joe’s wrinkled face. It transforms into a genuine smile when he sees me.
“Elle! Good to see you, darlin’.”
“You, too, Joe,” I respond. “Busy day, huh?”
“Probably a sign I ought to retire.”
“Fernwood wouldn’t be same without you, Joe.”
“Sweet of you to say. The usual?”
“Yes, please.” I pull out the card to pay, but he waves it away.
“On the house today.”
“Joe…”
He pushes my card away. “On the house.”
“Fine.” I shove a few bills into the tip jar before moving out of the way for the next customer. “Thank you.”
Joe smiles.
Twenty minutes later, I’m standing in the Fernwood High parking lot, talking to Kinsley and Kennedy. Neither of them were present for dinner last night, so I don’t have to dodge any questions or curious glances about it. That happens when Paige parks in her usual spot beside me. The looks, at least. She doesn’t say anything out of the ordinary as she joins our conversation. I can feel her probing eyes on me, though.
“I’ve got to drop some Homecoming forms off in the front office,” I announce. “I’ll see you guys in homeroom.”
I head inside the high school, waving and smiling back at everyone who greets me. Liam is leaning against his locker, and he gives me a curious look as I pass, no doubt just as baffled by my disappearance last night as Paige is.
Principal Watkins isn’t in her office, so it ends up being a quick stop. I just hand the forms from the country club confirming the location of the dance next week to the secretary, and then head for my locker.
I’m struggling to open the metal door—again—when he appears.
“Forget your combination?”
I stare at Ryder. Showing up at school is one thing. Talking to me here is another. It hasn’t occurred since our conversation on the football field the second day of school. Even more surprising? He’s the one instigating it.
“No,” I finally answer. “It’s just always stuck.” He watches silently as I keep struggling. “Thanks for the help,” I mutter.
He smirks. “You didn’t beg.”
I roll my eyes as I bang the metal. “Still bringing that up, huh?”
“Yup,” he pops the P obnoxiously.
“Please.” I hold his gaze, and the same electricity from last night makes a reappearance, crackling between us like lightening in a bottle.
He sighs but doesn’t actually appear put out as he moves closer to me. I don’t shift away as he fiddles with the door. A few rattles, and it acquiesces. Guess inanimate objects aren’t immune to capitulating to Ryder James, either.
I grab my books and slam the door shut again. I start walking, and Ryder surprises me by keeping pace with me.
“So, what’s your stance on PDA?” he asks me casually as we continue side by side down the hall.
“What?” People are calling out greetings to me, but I’m focused on nothing but Ryder.
“PDA? Public displays of affection? Are you for, against, indifferent?”
“Um,” I stall. “I guess it depends on the person?”
Ryder laughs. “Who do you think I’m talking about?”
“I didn’t want to be presumptuous,” I defend. “You’re asking permission to kiss me?”
“Whoa, now who’s being presumptuous? I was talking about holding hands. At most.”
I snort. “Sure.”
“So?”
“I—”
“Elle! You won’t believe…” Kinsley bounces over to my side, only pausing when she realizes who I’m talking to.
“I’ll see you later,” Ryder tells me quietly, then continues down the hallway.
“Ryder James?” Kinsley raises both eyebrows as we both watch him saunter out of sight.
“What won’t I believe?” I deflect.
“Aimee and Jack broke up!”
“I didn’t even know they were dating,” I inform her.
Kinsley rolls her eyes. “Well, they were. Paige said she told you.”
“It’s impossible to keep track of half of what Paige tells me.”
“Okay, that’s fair,” Kinsley replies with a laugh. She’s distracted when Kennedy comes up and starts gossiping about the same subject. I tune them out as they follow me to homeroom. Keeping up with Ryder’s moods and emotions feels like a full-time job, but the tenor of our latest conversation has left me with the impression we’re good. Great, even. It puts a legitimate pep in my step.
Paige eyes me curiously when I enter homeroom, but still doesn’t ask any questions as Kennedy and Kinsley steer the conversation along. Excitement pings around my stomach as the bell indicating the end of homeroom rings. The anticipation thrumming through me reminds me of the first day of senior year. Things between Ryder and me feel more complicated than ever. But also simpler at the same time. I like him. I think he likes me?
Ryder arrives in History a few minutes after I do. He doesn’t say anything, but he does give me a small, secret smile that trickles some heat into my blood that the air conditioning doesn’t have a chance of combating.
I take careful notes throughout Mr. Anderson’s lecture, but I’m not registering a word of what he’s saying. I have to scan the lines of handwriting twice to realize we’re discussing Stalin and Mussolini. When the bell rings, I’m one of the first packing up. I glance toward the back of the classroom, looking for Ryder. I’m stunned to see he’s chatting easily with Jeff Jenkins, one of the football players in our gym class.
“Elle! You coming?” Kennedy calls, already half-way to the door.
“Yup.” I pull on my backpack and follow her over to the exit.
None of my conversations with Ryder have involved a discussion of his class schedule, but I’ve never seen him in the halls between History and lunch, and today is no exception. He’s already seated at his usual table, next to Danielle and across from Tommy, when I enter the cafeteria.
I lead the horde of cheerleaders I’m currently surrounded by over to our usual spot near the back of the room that overlooks the sun-dappled courtyard.
“Hey, Elle.” Jack Rodgers drops down beside me seconds after I’ve taken a seat next to Paige.
“Hi, Jack,” I respond, pulling my sandwich out of my lunchbox.
“Aimee and I broke up.”
“Uh, yeah—I heard. Sorry.”
He shrugs as he twists the cap off his bottled water. “No big deal. It was casual.”
“Okay…” I’m not sure what else to say to that. Jack and I are friendly, but we’ve certainly never commiserated over his single status before.
“It’s Homecoming next week.”
“Yeah, I know,” I respond with a wry grin. “I’m planning it.”
Jack chuckles. “Oh yeah, right. Well, I was thinking since we’re both single, maybe we should go together?”
I should have seen it coming, but I didn’t. Jack’s on the football team with Liam. I didn’t think he’d ever ask me out. I glance down the table at my ex-boyfriend, only to find that he’s already watching me. So is the rest of our lunch table, clearly eavesdropping on my current conversation.
“Oh. I actually have a date to Homecoming already, Jack. Sorry.”
Jack shrugs as though he’s indifferent, but I don’t think he is. He knew asking me here and now would result in all of our close friends listening in. I don’t think he would have done so if he had any inkl
ing I might turn him down the way I have every other guy I have who’s asked me. Except for Ryder.
Kennedy’s the one who asks the question I know everyone else at the table is thinking. Unfortunately, I have a feeling she may give Liam a run for his money in reacting to the answer poorly.
“Who are you going with, Elle?”
“Ryder James.” I take a bite of my sandwich.
Paige is the only one at the table who doesn’t look shocked by the revelation, confirming my suspicions about her suspicions. Ire flashes across Kennedy’s face, but she doesn’t say anything.
“Are you kidding me with this?” Liam asks from the opposite end of the table. Jack shifts awkwardly next to me.
I chew and swallow. “Nope. Completely serious.”
“Why would you go to Homecoming with him?”
“Because he asked. And because I want to.”
Liam scoffs disbelieving, but he doesn’t say anything else. Slowly, other conversations pick up around the table, dimming the spotlight on me.
Kennedy makes a point to stride away from the table as soon as lunch ends. Kinsley and Paige remain on either side of me.
“Do you think she’s actually mad?” I ask them.
“Who cares? When and how did you end up getting Ryder James to ask you to Homecoming?” Paige asks. “I’m shocked he’s even going.”
“I ran into him last night,” I admit, choosing not to disclose it wasn’t actually a chance encounter. “He asked me about Robert asking me. I told Ryder I turned him down, and then he asked me if I wanted to go with him instead.”
“Is this about getting back at Liam?” Kinsley asks.
“No. It has nothing to do with Liam,” I reply honestly. “I want to go with Ryder.”
“Really?” Kinsley responds dubiously.
“Really,” I confirm. “Is that really so hard to believe? I mean, you were talking about him in gym.”
“I think he’s super hot, yeah. But you don’t go to Homecoming with a guy just because you’re wanting to hook up with him, Elle.”
“I know. I’m going with him because I like him.”
“Do your parents know you’re going with him?” Paige inquires.
“No,” I admit. “This morning… well, I decided to wait a few days.”
“Right.” Paige snorts. “Maybe you shouldn’t have told the table first.”
It’s a fair point. Gossip flies around Fernwood faster than pollen in spring, especially when it involves the Clarkes. There’s an excellent chance my parents could hear who I’m going to Homecoming with from someone else now.
I shrug. “Who cares how they find out? It’s not going to change anything.”
Paige raises both eyebrows. “Did you pick that dress out this morning?”
I glare at her. “I let my parents dictate parts of my life because it’s easier. Because there are certain things that are important to them. Because I’m all they have left now. But some things are more important than their approval. I’m going to Homecoming with Ryder, no matter what they have to say about it.”
“Wow.” Kinsley looks surprised. “You really do like him.”
“Yeah,” I acknowledge. “I do.”
“Kennedy will get over it.” Paige finally answers my original question. “Pretty sure she already knew it was a lost cause.”
“I know you think I get everything I want, but I really don’t,” I inform her.
“Debatable,” Paige responds with a smirk. “But I was actually referring to the fact that every time I see Ryder James, he’s staring at you. And I think Kennedy looks at him more frequently than I do.”
“Oh,” I reply.
We reach the door for English, and Kinsley peels off with a “See you in gym, Elle!”
As soon as she disappears, Paige turns to me. “You ‘ran into’ him? What spots in town do you and Ryder James both frequent?”
I roll my eyes. “Fine, I tracked him down. Happy?”
“More like shocked. Where is my rule-following best friend and what happened to her?”
“Maybe she got sick of following the rules,” I respond.
Paige snorts. “So you’re going to start skipping school and get a tattoo?”
“No, I’m just going to Homecoming with Ryder.”
“Is that all you’re going to do with him? Go to Homecoming?”
“There’s not really anything I don’t want to do with him,” I admit.
“Wow.” Both of Paige’s eyebrows rise. “Isn’t that how people describe being in love?”
“I’m not in love with him. We’ve never even gone out on a date. I just—there’s something about him. Something about me when I’m around him.”
“Yeah, you’re in trouble.” Paige laughs. “Especially when your parents find out. Say what you want, but I know their opinions matter to you. And they’re going to have strong opinions about you and a guy from the trailer park.”
“Yeah. I know.” I shrug. “Ryder’s non-negotiable though.”
Paige sighs. “I should probably feel guilty, but I can’t wait to see what everyone has to say about this.”
“Yeah, you should feel guilty. You’re a horrible friend.” But I’m smiling as I say it.
“Come on. Let’s go hear about promiscuity.” Paige gives me a sly glance as she pulls out her copy of The Scarlett Letter in preparation for class. “Speaking of, when you say you tracked him down…”
“We’re going to be late,” I start rushing down the hall to English.
Paige follows, laughing.
I’m guessing my red cheeks answered her question.
Rather than dreading it, I rush to the locker room to change for gym. Ryder is already changed and waiting when I head into the gymnasium to wait for the start of class.
“Hey,” I say as I approach, suddenly feeling shy.
“Hi.” He smiles. “You changed fast.” There’s a teasing undercurrent to his tone that makes me think he has an idea of what my motivation might have been.
“Uh-huh.”
“You know it’s football today?”
“It is?” My voice makes it clear that’s not welcome news.
“Yup.” He’s smirking now.
“Fantastic.”
“You haven’t picked up any tips attending every game?”
I eye him. “You know the team’s record, right? Even if I paid close attention to the games, I definitely would not be utilizing any of the football team’s strategies.”
Ryder snorts. “Yeah. I know the team’s record.”
“Do you—”
“All right, everyone! Gather round,” Coach Blake calls out. “Touch football today. No rough contact. Tackling is not going to go over well with me. We’ll count off for teams, then head out onto the field. Jenkins, you first.”
Jeff calls out “One!” and the count-off continues from there. I end up on team two. So does Ryder.
Coach Blake tosses the football to Ryder first, and I think back to the small snippet of their conversation I overheard on the second day of school. I didn’t get a chance to ask Ryder if he’s actually played before just now, but once the game begins, I find out the answer.
I wasn’t lying to Ryder earlier. I don’t pay close attention during our football games. I find the sport boring, honestly. Or I did. Until I saw Ryder playing it. His movements are a mixture of poetry and predatory. Innovative and intrinsic.
Only a few minutes pass before I give up on paying attention to anything else happening on the field. I’m not the only one. I see Steve and Jeff exchanging glances. Coach Blake is chewing furiously on the cap of his pen. Kinsley gives me a discerning glance as she approaches me.
“Did you know Ryder plays football?”
“Not really,” I reply honestly.
“Sure hope I’m not around when someone tells Liam.”
“I don’t think Ryder’s interested in playing an organized sport. Liam’s quarterback position is safe.”
“I was re
ferring more to the fact you dumped him for someone who can actually throw a football.”
I roll my eyes. “It’s his own fault. Remember how he cheated on me and then announced it to half the senior class?”
“It was more like two-thirds.”
I roll my eyes again.
“He was drunk. And Stephanie said they were just kissing. I don't think Liam really expected it to be the end for you guys.” I open my mouth, but she keeps talking. “I’m not defending him. I think you two made more sense on paper. I’m just trying to explain why you moving on with Ryder James of all people is not going to go over well.”
Two tweets sound. “Class dismissed! Get changed. We ran long—only eight minutes left until the final bell.”
There’s a ripple of groans through the class. Nothing like having to quickly strip out of sweaty clothes. The air is cool and crisp today, but the sun has been beating down relentlessly. Everyone starts to trudge toward the school, and I glance around the group for Ryder. He’s up ahead.
“James! One minute,” Coach Blake calls, and I watch Ryder’s shoulders lift and drop as he lets out a long exhale.
He turns and starts walking back toward the field, tossing the football he’s still holding back and forth between his two hands.
“Nice arm, James,” I tell him as he’s about to pass me and Kinsley.
He flashes me his carefree grin, and Kinsley inhales sharply next to me. I’m not sure if it’s in response to the devastating expression or because I’m addressing Ryder so publicly. I’m not normally one for the public displays of affection he was asking about earlier. My compliment got the attention of the whole class.
“Pathetic effort, Clarke.”
Once again reverting to middle school behavior, I stick my tongue out at him. His dimples deepen as he passes me.
“Thought it’d be the best way to get the head cheerleader to go to Homecoming with me.”
The three people who weren’t paying attention to us before certainly are now.
“I already said yes!” I call after him.
He glances back over his left shoulder as he heads to talk to Coach Blake. “Just checking.”
“Yeah, okay. He’s not just hot.” Kinsley says as we approach the gym.
Come Break My Heart Again Page 10