by Samantha Bee
“I know she isn’t going to tell me anything, geez,” I laugh, and shoo her away. Scar laughs as she heads towards Luca who hasn’t taken his eye off of her even once since we walked in the door. I observe the subtle shifts in his expression and posture as she gets closer to him. It’s like the stress bleeds out of him the closer she gets but a tension of another sort starts to build. Their dynamic is fascinating.
“You know they’re in love with each other, right?” Britt asks as she hands me my iced coffee and starts making Scar’s.
I turn to look back at her and now it’s my turn to raise my brows at her, “I know you refer to us as Scar’s men.”
“Aren’t you?” she smirks back at me.
“Damn fucking right we are,” I say, “but it’s not like Scar accepts that,” I pause and look Britt in the eyes, “yet.”
She smiles but this time it’s not the maniacal grin but more genuine, “She will. She didn’t even blink when you called her ‘my ladybug.’”
I grin, feeling smug as shit that someone else noticed it too. She laughs at my posturing. Britt's a cool girl. I could get down with her joining our little family in the making. Cause make no mistake, that’s my goal here. A fucking family. Something the three of us have been craving for a long ass time. I don't know about Britt or even Noah, but Luca, Scar, and me? We need one.
“There are three of us though,” I point out to see Britt's thoughts. She passes me Scar’s coffee, and turns her back to grab our food before answering. As she hands me the plates, she just shrugs, “So?”
“You don’t think that’s weird?”
“I think all of you are weird, so how is this any different?”
“That’s fair,” I chuckle.
“You said three?” she questions me.
I smirk, “Noah fits with us. I decided he’s gonna be a part of our family.”
“Oh, you decided?” she teases.
“Hell yeah, I did. I’m the goddamn captain of this ship, make no mistake about that.”
“Damn, I can’t wait to get the details about your threesome.”
“The fuck?” I exclaim, “There’s no way Scar gives you details about our sex life.”
“You keep telling yourself that,” her evil grin is back, “Stranger.”
I laugh, goddamn it. Scar told her about our tattoos. I don’t know why I’m so shocked. She’s so open about her adventures, I just didn’t think she would own up to tattooing her lips onto me on the very first day we reconnected. She may not realize it, but that’s about as claiming as someone can be. She permanently marked me as hers.
I look Britt up and down before getting serious, “You think it could really work?” I hate that some of my vulnerability leaks into my voice when I ask her. I know the idea is crazy, but I can’t help but want it. Almost desperately so. Something about it just feels right. Like we are puzzle pieces that fit into all the broken pieces of Scar to make her whole again.
Her smile is soft this time, and I know she heard the desperate plea in my voice, “I really think it could, big guy. I see how good you all are for her.”
Falling back into my playboy role, I wrap my arrogance back around me like a shield, “Well,” I preen, all smug and shit, “I have been doing research.”
“Research?”
“Yeah, like reading ménage books. Surprisingly really good. But that was before I met Noah,” I trail off.
Britt throws her head back and starts cackling. It takes her a second to calm down enough to talk. “Fuck, you’re adorable.”
“I am not adorable,” I scoff. I am literally a 6’4 cage fighter. I beat people up as my job and I kill people as my hobby. I’m not fucking adorable. This is even worse than when Scar called me preppy. What the fuck?
“You totally are,” she laughs. “You’re reading books to help with your unconventional relationship,” she says as she arches her brow at me. “Fucking adorable.”
I don’t really have anything to say to that because, well she’s kind of right. This must be how Scar feels when she denies she’s pouting when she’s clearly pouting.
Fuck. Scar has made me adorable. I cringe as I think about it. Britt starts cackling again. Damn females. She’s totally right. I glare at her for making me realize this. I was living in ignorant bliss and now there is no going back. I forevermore have to just accept that I am fucking adorable. I growl.
She just laughs harder, “You’re like a little puppy,” she coos.
“Listen here, woman. You may have been right about me being adorable but nothing about me is little. Got it?”
I’d feel a little bit better after asserting my dominance, but Britt is unphased. She’s nodding but still smiling uncontrollably. It’s clear she’s just humoring me. Whatever, I just sigh. These women. Maybe Britt can’t be a part of our family.
A giggle bursts through her pursed lips, “Sorry, sorry,” she says, still fucking smiling. She leans over the counter and starts writing something down on receipt paper, “Here,” she says as she hands it to me, “It’s a Facebook group. It’ll give you a ton of new books to read now that you’re including Noah.”
I take the paper and put it in my pocket for later. I guess she just redeemed herself.
“I like you, Britt. Even if you aren’t fucking my ladybug, you can be a part of our family.”
Her laughter follows me as I make my way over to Luca and Scar. I take a deep breath as I place Scar’s coffee and food in front of her. Hmm, I can smell the sexual tension in the air.
“She bit your head off yet?” I ask Luca as I nudge Scar’s coffee closer to her. It really helps her disposition. She always says that coffee doesn't make her a morning person, it just makes her a person and honestly, she’s not wrong. She’s kind of scary before she has her coffee. You have to have thick skin to be around her. Or just be really good at reading her, luckily, I’m both.
Luca chuckles,” She does seem even grouchier than usual today.”
Scar is drinking down her coffee like it has all the answers to life at the bottom, but she pauses long enough to mumble, “I wonder why the fuck that could be.”
I smile but just push her chocolate croissant closer to her. Luca looks back and forth between us, trying to figure out what could have happened between us. I just wink at him and hope Scar doesn’t see it. She’ll probably hit me.
I look over, but she’s too occupied with tearing into her croissant to notice. Whew. I relax into my seat and swing my arm over the back of her chair and smile when she slightly leans towards me.
Luca observes the interaction and raises a brow at me, but I just smile back. He knows exactly where I stand on our relationship with her. He thinks I’m nuts. He doesn’t think Scar will ever go for it or be willing to open up to one person let alone all of us. Clearly, he’s wrong and he’s getting to see evidence of that firsthand.
I do so love being right.
Scar finishes her croissant and sips on her coffee as she looks at both of us, “Alright,” she sighs in content. “Do we have a time frame?”
Luca nods, all business now, “Within the hour,” he answers her.
I nod in understanding; we want to hit them hard and fast. Before they even have a chance to settle in. Their guards will be lowered upon getting the girls to their supposedly secure location. There will be a window of time that they’ll relax before fortifying their security and most likely start planning to move locations again. At least, that would be their plan if they were smart. We aren’t so sure about this kid. He seems impulsive and arrogant, not a good combination. For him, anyways. Works to our advantage.
“Do you have all the equipment we talked about?” I ask Luca. He went to one of our warehouses last night to get all the equipment we will need. Thankfully, we won’t need too much because of the location of this job. A lot of the times we need rappelling gear because we will sneak in from above. Not today though.
I can feel Scar’s excitement pulsing through her body underneath my arm,
she’s buzzing with energy, and not just from the caffeine she sucked down. I can’t even blame her. This should be an easy job, and I love getting to use the tunnels. They’re fucking dope.
“You each have a backpack ready in the car,” he answers.
“We gotta stop back at my place to suit up. Why didn’t you just meet us there?” Scar asks Luca.
He rolls his eyes at her, “You were supposed to already suit up.”
Oops, I kinda forgot about that. I was pretty distracted this morning. You can’t really blame me though. Luca narrows his eyes at me, but I can’t really say anything in my defense, so I just grimace apologetically. He sighs all dramatically. I roll my eyes. Drama queen.
Chapter Nine
Once we get back to my apartment, I rush into my room to suit up with my favorite weapons. I pull my favorite blades out of the drawer next to my bed and pick out my three favorites and set them on my bed. I love these blades; they were a gift from Luca. They’re all black, even the blade, which just speaks to my little black soul. They all are each inlaid with a blue diamond, all in different tones, except for the pocketknife. My pocketknife has a rare red diamond in the handle. They’re beautiful but deadly. I smile recalling Luca’s card that described them that way and then compared them to me.
I feel a pang in my chest thinking about Luca. All the almost moments we’ve had over the years. The fleeting touches and affectionate looks. All of the thoughtful gestures and times he’s held me together when I couldn’t be strong anymore. The years we spent with no one but each other, covered in blood and sweat and desperation. A driving, devouring need to succeed.
I shake my head to clear out all of the memories trying to bombard me. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. With every exhale I rebuild the ice around my heart, burying the longing, loneliness, and desperation deep inside me. I am successful because I don’t wallow. I take and push forward, never allowing myself to be vulnerable. Not for a second, not with anyone, that’s all it would take for the demons buried with my emotions to start escaping.
I shed my loose tank off and throw it in the hamper before grabbing my Kevlar vest. It's the thinnest one they sell, expensive as shit, but worth it. It’s almost impossible to notice even if you are looking for it, and it’s much easier to move in which is the most important thing.
I put the vest on and start to zip it up over my lace crop top. Before I zip it all the way, I grab my pocketknife with the red diamond and smile as I nestle it in between my breasts, close to my chest. It’s where I always wear it. If all else fails, that knife is secure and always hidden, like carrying a piece of Luca with me for protection.
I finish zipping the vest before grabbing the other two blades and slipping them into their different holders on the vest. One down the center of my back, just above my ass, the other one in the front on my left side. I grab a handgun and holster out of the bag Luca gave me and put it on and adjust it, so the gun sits on my right side.
I go to my dresser, grab an oversized gray t-shirt and throw it on over my vest. I move over to the mirror and look to make sure the vest and gun are completely concealed. I move back and forth and smile when I read what’s on the shirt.
I look down at my combat boots and debate about changing. I love my converse and they are better for stealth but the combat boots I can hide an extra blade in an ankle holster. Hmm. I don’t think stealth is really going to be that big of an issue anyways since we are using the tunnels.
Fuck it. When in doubt, add more weapons. Right? That seems like a good life motto.
I quickly kick off my Converse. I chuck my chucks; I snort to myself as I grab my ankle strap. I put on the boots and go back to grab the smallest blade from my set and slip in at my ankle. I sigh, I can feel energy buzzing through me. The chaos of my soul building with the promise of blood to sate my rage.
I walk back into my living room to find Kade suited up and putting in his earpiece as him and Luca go over the plan one more time. We tend to be perfectionists when it comes to rescue missions for obvious reasons. Any chance we have to go over everything one more time, we take. No matter how many times we’ve done this, no matter how skilled we are, there is always the chance of getting hurt, killed, or worse, caught.
Being caught by these fuckers is my own personal nightmare, and I know it worries Luca and Kade. They just know better than to vocalize it. So, we train, and we plan, train and plan, train and plan. There is no such thing as too much of either. This is my sole purpose in life.
I walk up to them and smile at Luca as he sets me up with my comm pieces. Communication is key in all of our missions. We work so well together, it's almost seamless without talking, but with Luca staying behind, it helps ease his mind to be able to hear us. That and my tracker.
When we first started doing these missions, we agreed we would each have a tracker on us at all times. When Kade started working with us, he got one too. Anyone who runs with us has to wear one during the rescue, but the three of us agreed to always have ours on us.
My tracker is in my belly ring because, well who the fuck would think to take out my belly ring, right? Same thread of thought, I convinced the guys the best place for theirs was piercings of their own. I’m still surprised they both agreed but they both have their dicks pierced now. It amuses me to no ends that I can literally track them by their dicks. Genius.
Kade’s voice breaks me out of my thoughts about their dicks when he asks, “When is Joe going to get here?”
“He just picked up Mikey and Ronan so they should be here in about ten minutes?”
“You seriously asked Mikey and Ronan to come?” I scoff. Kade and I have this all on our own. I love Mikey and Ronan, but this is just excessive. At the sound of my voice, they both turn to look at me. Their gazes travel from my combat boots up to my eyes, I see the flash of amusement as soon as they both read the front of my shirt. Kade smirks when he meets my eyes, but Luca just rolls his eyes.
I know Luca is amused but he’s trying to hide it. He sighs, ready to address my question, Kade takes a step back and puts his hands up like he’s not getting involved. Pussy.
“We talked about the very real possibility of this being a trap.”
“I’m aware,” I snark back in reaction to his exasperation, “that’s why Joe is coming with us.”
“Mikey and Ronan are going to be stationed out front, just keeping an eye to see if they have backup. If they do, then you guys will too.”
I roll my eyes but drop it. Luca is getting more paranoid, I’m not quite sure why. We knew it could be a trap, that’s why we are hitting them so fast, before they have a chance to settle in. Even if they are expecting us, they wouldn’t expect us within an hour of their own arrival.
Kade is staring at me and moving his eyebrows, telling me to just let it be and accept the backup. I just shrug because it doesn’t really affect me either way.
“And don’t forget Scar, this is supposed to be in and out. Stealth,” Luca reminds me for the hundredth time. I roll my eyes and nod feeling more and more like a moody teen being chastised by a parent. “That means no killing,” he says.
“What the fuck? Since when?” I demand. He never gives me orders to not kill people. That’s literally the best part. Okay fine, maybe not the best part, but pretty damn close.
Kade snorts but fuck him too. I can kill stealthily. That’s exactly what the fuck blades are meant for. Silent kills. I don’t really feel like I should need to explain this to them.
“No unnecessary killing,” Luca clarifies.
I scoff, I mean that’s better but still. Part of the whole reason we do this is to impact the ability of the rings to run efficiently. Killing all the little underlings may not be a huge hit but trust me, constantly having to replace employees? It’s annoying as fuck, it interrupts the flow of work. Regardless of what that work is. Sure, they just replace the fuckers whose throats meet my blade, but their replacements are new. No experience, less time for training, quickly hired
. What’s that a recipe for?
Of course, Luca and Kade can both read me like a book and know exactly what I’m thinking about. Kade chuckles, “I told you she would be pissed about that direction.”
Luca grunts, “I know, that’s why we fed her first.”
“You’re both fuckers. We are supposed to try and kill as many as we can.”
“I know,” Luca sighs, “but this needs to be in and out. Just in case it's a trap. If you can get out before they even realize you’re there, then we don’t even have to worry about that.”
“I don’t know why the fuck you’re being so paranoid,” I say as I jab Luca in his stupid chest before pointing to Kade, “or why the fuck you’re going along with it, but we are going to fucking talk about it after this damn run.”
I start stomping towards the door to wait by the car for the other guys, “And I’ll kill every fucker I can,” I snap, needing the last word about it. I may be bloodthirsty, but I can’t help it, the blood rushing through my fingers feeds the chaos in my soul. Every kill feels necessary when your soul demands it.
“She’s so cute when she pouts,” Kade chuckles just as I reach the door. The asshole is lucky that it would disrupt my epic exit to turn back around and choke the life out of him. I settle for slamming the door behind me. Luca has a key. He can lock up.
I’m leaning against the back of Luca’s Beemer when I hear a familiar voice, “What has you so grumpy?” Ronan asks as he throws his arm over me. I snuggle into his side, the affectionate gesture coming naturally.
“Kade and Luca are being dicks,” I answer.
“We told her she couldn’t go looking for people to kill on this one,” Kade laughs.
“Yeah, being dicks,” I mumble as I press closer to Ronan. He’d let me kill people.
They all laugh, even Luca which is a little surprising. He doesn’t normally relax around anyone other than me and Kade. Most people haven’t even seen him smile, let alone laugh.
Joe pulls me out of Ronan’s arms and gives me a big hug before kissing the top of my head, “Come on now girlie, I promise you can have all the guards we do run into all to yourself.”