by Samantha Bee
Scar goes back to pulling out ingredients and bowls. I finish my sandwich and just watch her move around the kitchen, “I’m making lasagna for dinner, hope that’s okay with you. I wanted her to have real home cooked food.”
I can’t even remember the last time I had a home cooked meal. Back home I mostly dined out or ate frozen food. The longer I spend with Scar and learn more about her, the more intrigued I am by her and more I want to learn. “Sounds delicious.”
She’s such a complicated person but carries herself so well. It’s obvious she has been broken before and instead of trying to force the pieces back together she’s made weapons out of them. She is one of the most stunning women I have ever met.
I’m oddly looking forward to seeing her perform tonight. No one will give me any clues as to what kind of performance it is, and I feel like there is a lot more to her than I’ve seen so far.
Apparently, the club is well known here but since I’m not from the area, I’ve never heard of it and don’t understand the hype. Scar did tell me that I’ll be meeting her other friends and members of the team. I start to wonder about the woman in front of me. “How long have you two been friends?”
Josie pauses what she was doing and looks towards Scar like she’s unsure how to answer the question. Scar, however, doesn’t miss a beat, “Oh, I don’t know it's been about five years or so.”
I look between the two of them feeling like that was not the truth, but I don’t understand why they would need to lie about something like that. I wouldn’t have picked up on it based on Scar alone, but Josie isn’t as good at hiding her thoughts.
I look her over for a moment and really study her as she responds, “That sounds about right, seems like forever ago and like it was just yesterday, all at the same time.” She’s quite beautiful, now that I really look at her. She has tanned caramel skin and a mix of golden brown and blonde tight spiral curls that frame her face and fall just below her shoulders. She’s a good four or five inches taller than Scar and has a lithe but curvy figure.
Now that I’m really looking at her though, she seems familiar, “Good friendships are always like that. Have you always lived here Josie? I swear you seem familiar to me for some reason.”
They both laugh and this time it sounds much more genuine and less strained. “You would recognize her face, now just imagine her in an elegant dress,” Scar teases and Josie slaps her ass. She looks like she wants to respond back to that but hesitates, throwing a quick glance at me, “You know I hate all those events.”
Her words ring true, but I still get the feeling that wasn’t everything she wanted to say. I just watch their antics as they tease each other back and forth. The easy nature between the two of them makes it clear they have been friends for a long time. They have a closeness that’s rare and comes only with the most genuine of friendships.
I find myself smiling at their somewhat childish behavior and feeling just a bit of contentment in this moment, where the grief doesn’t hurt quite as much. I still feel like I’m missing pieces on their relationship as I think about Scar’s words and then it hits me. “You’re the founder of the Mending Hearts Foundation.”
She hums as she moves away from Scar and starts picking at the fruit on the counter and pops a grape in her mouth, “That is what all those pesky articles say about me.”
That’s an interesting way to agree. “You don’t like the fame?” Maybe that’s what I’m missing? Their friendship isn’t known to the public because Scar works for the foundation in less than official terms. It could be dangerous for both of them if their friendship was common knowledge.
“I love the foundation. We do a lot of good, as you’re well aware. But the events and articles are tiring. The notoriety,” she pauses and looks at Scar with something that looks like a mixture of affection and longing in her gaze, “it interferes with the stuff I consider most important in life.”
I can imagine that, especially if her and Scar are as close as they seem, and they aren’t able to see each other as often because of who she is. Scar confirms my thoughts, “It could be dangerous to both of us if anyone made the connection between the two of us and especially one between her and Luca.” Why especially Luca? I feel like I am still missing a lot of vital information required to be on this team.
I decide to change the subject to more lighthearted topics as the two of them prepare dinner. I enjoy getting to know both of them better, but I can’t stop my mind from drifting to the little girl in the other room. She really needs a stuffed animal.
I pull out the phone Luca gave me and look up stores that are nearby, wanting to give her something before we all leave tonight. “Hey Scar, can I borrow a car to go to the store real quick?”
She barely even bats an eyelash at the request, tossing me a set of keys before going back to mixing up some type of cheese mixture for the lasagna. “Do you guys need anything while I’m out?”
They both shake their head and I head out to the Target I found just a couple miles from here. I’m sure I’ll be able to find something for her there.
I walk through the aisles, looking for the kids’ section. I forgot how cool this part of stores could be. I remember how much I loved playing with all the toys here, maybe I should have brought her with me?
Nah, next time. She needs the rest and to heal up as quickly as possible. I find the area with all the stuffed animals and start searching through them to find the perfect one.
After only a minute I look up at the top shelf and see a Tiffany Blue plush unicorn, with navy hair and a gold horn and hooves. I pick it up and it’s one of the softest things I have ever felt. It’s pretty big, probably pretty close to the same size as Rowan. I can already picture her wrapped around it in her sleep. It’s perfect.
I throw it in my cart and start walking down the aisle to see what else catches my eye. I don’t really know what else she likes. She still isn't talking at all so maybe another way to express herself?
An hour and a half later, I’m pulling back up to Luca’s house with way more than what I had intended to buy. Thankfully, with the phone Luca provided, I was able to sign into my iCloud account and had access to my Apple wallet with no issues.
I’ll have to work on getting all of my bank and id stuff situated in these next few days. I should really talk to Scar and Luca about that as well. Just how off the grid are they? And do I need to be as well? I don’t think I ever plan on going back to my old life.
My dad is still alive, but he’s never given a shit about me or my sister. I doubt he even realizes we have both been missing. That man only cares about himself and where he can get his next vice, whether that be girls, drugs, or booze, changes day to day.
Even with thinking about that piece of shit, I can’t help but smile as I make my way up to the house with my arms full of bags. I hope Rowan is awake so I can show her at least the unicorn I bought her.
I walk through the door and as soon as Scar sees me, she scoffs, “You are just as bad as the other two,” she gestures towards her room. “Just put it down in there. I’ll sort through it later.” What does she mean just as bad as the other two?
“Is she awake yet?” I ask, not letting my excitement over the unicorn fade. Scar laughs at my eagerness but nods before gesturing to her room again.
“Put the stuff down, first. She’s in the kitchen.” I’m already walking towards the room, in a hurry to get to give her a present.
As soon as I walk into Scar’s room her comment makes a lot more sense. There are bags everywhere. It looks like Kade and Luca had the same idea as I did. I set my bags down and start peeking through the bag to see what they got Rowan.
It seems like mostly we all bought her clothes, which is good because that’s just a necessity. There are also some shoes, a few other toys, though I don’t see any stuffed animals. There are notebooks and coloring books and a ton of coloring and paint materials. It looks like they also wanted to give her other ways to express herself. There’s eve
n a paint easel in the corner.
I guess Scar’s exasperation with us makes a bit more sense now. Although, I know I heard a thread of amusement in there. I think if it didn’t mean leaving her, she would have been showing up with her own arms full of bags of stuff for Roe.
I go through the bags I brought and find the two things I am most excited to give to her. I take the time to make sure they are both perfectly ready for her to start using as soon as I get out there. Once it’s all set up, I head back out and follow the sound of Scar’s voice.
In the few minutes since, I’ve been gone, Roe has moved back into the living room with Scar. I walk over to her holding both gifts behind my back, “I have a couple of surprises for you, Roe. Is that okay?”
She looks at me suspiciously but there’s also curiosity in her gaze as she slowly nods her head from where she’s sitting on the couch. She holds the corner of Scar’s t-shirt in one of her hands as Scar sits down next to her.
“I thought you might need a friend who would protect you while you sleep,” I tell her and bring the unicorn out from behind my back. Her little blue eyes go round as she looks up at Scar for permission. As soon as she nods, Roe smiles but still looks a little unsure. She holds her arms out and I immediately place the stuffed animal in her arms, and she wraps it in a hug and squeezes it to her chest, burying her face in its fur.
The movement reveals two other stuffed animals, a tiger and an elephant in almost the exact shade of blue. I catch Scar’s eyes and see the mirth there, “You three are weirdly on the same wavelength,” she points out. I hear other people walk into the room and look back to find Kade and Luca talking to Josie.
They haven’t noticed Roe’s newest stuffed animal yet, “Well, mine is the biggest which means it’s the best.”
Scar starts cackling and I turn to catch the perplexed look on Luca’s face and the absolutely offended look on Kade’s. “That is entirely false, feel how soft that elephant is.” I’m already shaking my head. The unicorn is easily the best stuffed animal, Roe can even hide behind it.
I look towards her and see her peeking her little face out from behind it to study our interaction as Kade and I argue about whose stuffed animal is the best. Luca just shakes his head at us before going and sitting next to Scar.
“Oh, I still have another surprise for you, sweet girl,” I say remembering what else I couldn’t wait to give her. I pull the small keyboard out from behind me and place it on Scar’s lap, not wanting to scare Rowan with my touch. “It’s like a small piano, I can teach you how to play.” I start playing some of the lullabies I know off the top of my head. That gets her to stop hiding behind the unicorn and look at me.
“Would you like that?” I ask her and she nods her head. “Good, we can start practicing whenever you’re ready, okay?” She nods again and I can’t help but smile. She’s growing accustomed to us and opening up a hell of a lot faster than I would have thought. She’s going to be an incredible, resilient little girl, I already know it.
Everyone starts to wander off into their own directions to get things done before we go out tonight. I get up and move to sit in the love seat next to the couch and settle in to watch some cartoons. “I have to go finish dinner, Roe baby. Wanna come sit in the kitchen with me?” Scar hesitates as she looks over at me, “Or do you want to stay here and watch cartoons with Ryder?”
I keep myself still and focus on the tv, even though I know Rowan is looking over at me. I don’t want to scare her or make her feel unsafe. She must have gestured to Scar that she wants to stay here because next thing, Scar is kissing her head before heading back to the kitchen.
We sit there for a while in a comfortable silence just watching the cartoons. I make comments here and there about the show showing baby animals and their moms. We should have bought her some books too. Next time I go out, I’ll make sure to get some.
I throw glances her way every few minutes to make sure she’s okay and smile when I see her cuddled with all three of her animals. I don’t think this kid will ever feel unloved for even a moment again.
After a handful of episodes, Scar calls us all out to eat dinner. It’s a loud affair as we all take turns trading stories to get to know each other better and teasing Roe as we gently try to coax her into the conversation.
We get a few shy smiles and Scar gets some high fives and quite a few nods or shakes of her head. Every little move that has her participating with us makes us all beam at her and at each other.
We finish eating and Kade and I clean up the kitchen while the girls go into Scar’s room to start going through the stuff we bought and getting Rowan ready for bed. She also promised Roe she could help her get ready for tonight.
I go back into the living to see if I can catch some of the baseball game before I have to get ready to leave. Now that I think about it, I should have bought some stuff for myself while I was out. Luca provided me with enough to get me through the next few days, but I easily could have grabbed some shit while I was there.
Kade comes out dressed in black jeans and a black Henley, okay so not a fancy night out. Good to know. “I’m going to go get a few things from my place, do you need anything while I’m out?”
“I’m good, thanks man.” It’s odd that I feel closer to him than to any of the friends I left behind back in Washington. I can’t think of a single person that I will really miss from that part of my life. It makes me realize how sad and empty my life already was. I only had Jen.
The melancholy descends as I think about her. I’m glad Kade leaves before he notices the downturn in my mood. It’s only been a few days since I lost her so it shouldn’t be unexpected how all encompassing the sorrow still is.
Sometimes it feels like I’m drowning, and I have to fight just to take a breath. I spent most of my time by myself today wondering if I could really continue living without her. Jen and I were closer than your average siblings. She really was my other half.
Our mom died when we were young, and our dad just didn’t know how to care about anyone other than himself. We were all the other had and we leaned on each other for everything. I was only a year older than her and even in school, we always sat together, had the same groups of friends, went to the same parties.
Even as adults we lived close together, she would eat dinner at my house more often than she would her own. Jen was easily my best friend and it was my job to protect her. I spent our whole lives bailing her out of trouble and fighting off anyone who would do her harm.
Until I didn’t. I failed her in the worst way and there are moments where the guilt cuts into me and makes me want to give in to the water slowly filling my lungs. To just stop fighting but then I think about those other girls that were there.
More and more frequently, Roe pops into my head when I start to think about giving up. If I could save other girls, that might just be a good enough reason to live. If I can cut the heart out of Romano’s son, the man responsible for taking Jen from me? Well, that gives me purpose.
Scar calling for Kade draws me out of my morose thoughts. “He went back to his place,” I call out to her.
“Could you help me with something?” she asks and I’m already moving to see what she needs. “Sorry, Josie is giving Roe a bath, or I would have asked her.”
I walk through the hall and get to her door to find it open but don't see Scar right away. “Don’t worry about it, what is it you need?”
As soon as I walk into the room, a phone comes flying at my face. I just barely manage to catch before looking around trying to find Scar.
I didn’t really look around at the room itself when I was in here earlier. I take a moment to observe the decor. This doesn’t look like just a guest room but instead seems tailored to Scar and well lived in. I wonder how often she stays here.
All of the furniture is done in dark gray woods, the bed is covered in a black comforter with pillows in different shades of blue. The art and other decor are fairly minimalistic which just draws your attent
ion to the stunning painting that takes up most of the far wall. It is a black painted canvas with blue roses across it.
It’s not the type of art that I would normally be interested in but something about this painting is drawing me in. I can’t quite figure out what it is about it, but it evokes so many emotions in me, anguish, hope, rage, love even pride. It gives the distinct impression of being personal to the artist.
I study it looking for a signature to see who the artist is, but it’s not signed. How incredibly odd. “Impressive right?” I was so distracted I almost forgot why I was even in here and the sound of her voice causes me to jump. She snickers, “Luca is insanely talented.”
“Luca did this?” I ask as I start to turn around but instantly turn my back to her again when I see she’s topless, “Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to intrude.” I’m impressed with myself with how smooth that came out. I can feel the tips of my ears burning in embarrassment and I’m positive they’re turning red.
“Oh, calm down, Ry,” the sound of my nickname on her lips settles something in me that I didn’t know I needed. “They’re just tits, I need you to take my picture.” Wait what? Why would she need me to take her picture? At least that explains the phone she threw at me when I walked in.
I hesitantly agree as I pull the camera on her phone up, “Can I ask why?”
She walks past me towards the painting, and I do my best to keep my eyes on her face. Pointedly, trying not to think about the sounds I heard coming from Kade’s bedroom last night.
I shift where I’m standing and wish I wasn’t wearing gray sweatpants now. That shit is as good as being naked when it comes to concealing when I’m turned on. I’m pretty sure she did this shit on purpose, the minx. I’m certain this could be its own form of torture.
“We never advertise when I am going to perform at the club, even the planned events like tonight,” she starts to explain. That’s rather odd but before I can question it, she continues, “It adds to the whole hype of the club. It’s kinda fun and totally works,” she shrugs before turning her back to me.