“I don’t even remember what I’m looking for here—what are these supposed to feel like?”
He picked up one of the balls she put down.
“You want it heavy enough so it can spin down the lane and knock over all of the pins but not so heavy you have trouble tossing it.”
She picked up a silver glittery ball and smiled.
“I think this is the one.”
Max went back to the first one he’d picked up.
“Are you just saying that because it’s sparkly?”
She grinned at him.
“So what if I am? A woman’s got to have some flair if she has to wear shoes like this, okay?”
He laughed and shook his head.
“Let’s order some food now, I’m starving. You can press the buttons right here and they bring it to you.”
They ordered loaded nachos and beer to start, and someone brought over their beer as Max and Olivia were setting up the scoring on the screen.
“How long has it been since the last time you were bowling, again?” Max asked her as she moved her glittery bowling ball from one hand to another.
She pursed her lips.
“Oh, let me see . . . at least seven years, it must be? The last time was for my friend Justine’s thirtieth birthday, and she must be thirty-seven or even thirty-eight by now? So we’ll see how this goes, I guess.”
He looked both kind and a touch condescending, just as she’d expected.
“Do you want to go first, or do you want me to go first?” he asked.
She put her finger to her lips as she considered that.
“You go first. Show me what I’m supposed to do so I remember.”
He nodded and took a sip of his beer.
“Okay—you put your three fingers in the ball like this,” he said, demonstrating. “Then you start from back here, and take a few not-quite-running steps, toss your arm back, and let the ball loose down the lane.”
His ball went flying down the lane, and it knocked down about half the pins. Olivia nodded slowly.
“Good job, look, you got—what, five of the little sticks down.”
He laughed.
“Pins, and I’m kind of rusty, but thanks. I also haven’t done this for a while, though for me it was less than two years ago. Right after I got elected, actually. We had a little bowling alley victory party for the campaign staff. Though that night I drank a lot more beer and hugged a lot more people than pins I knocked down. Here, I get one more try before it’s your turn.”
He picked up his ball again and threw it down the lane; three pins fell that time.
“I used to be better at this, I promise,” he said as he walked back to join Olivia.
She stood up and patted him on the shoulder.
“You seem pretty good at it to me.” She picked up her sparkly bowling ball and walked toward the lane. Max stood to the side to watch her with a smile on his face.
“You do it like this, right?” She took a few quick steps forward, swung her arm back, and released her ball straight down the middle of the lane. It flew all the way down and, SMACK, knocked all ten pins over in seconds. Max’s mouth dropped open.
Olivia threw her arms in the air.
“I’ve still got it!”
She turned to Max with a cocky grin and saw realization dawn over his face.
“You . . . you were conning me!” he said. “With that whole ‘oh, big, strong man, how do you hold a bowling ball’ act. Weren’t you?”
Her grin got bigger.
“I couldn’t help myself! Plus, I haven’t gone bowling in years, so I wasn’t sure if I’d still be good at it, but turns out I am.”
He stared at her without saying anything.
She sighed inwardly. She knew this was how he’d react. That’s why she’d done it.
She hadn’t initially meant to pretend to Max that she didn’t know much about bowling. It wasn’t like she’d been testing him—well, not exactly. But she knew all too well that men didn’t like it when you beat them at something. She learned that at a very young age when she beat Chris Riley in the spelling bee in third grade and he didn’t want to be her friend anymore. For a long time after that, she’d lost to boys on purpose, until one time when she lost a prize she really wanted to win, to a boy who didn’t even like her in the first place. Since then she’d played to win in everything she did, which, yes, had made her lose out on a few relationships, but at least she’d never lost her self-respect.
So when Max suggested bowling, she’d known she might beat him. And despite how great he was last week, despite how much he said he liked her and respected her, she knew that with men, like and respect only went so far. And so for the first time in a very long time, she’d thought about finding a way to back out of playing a game with a man so she wouldn’t have to face losing Max. But she knew she’d always wonder how Max would react if she beat him. So instead, she challenged herself to play to win, and to win big, to win with swagger, just so she’d know, once and for all, that Max Powell was just like all of the other guys.
“Are you mad about this?” she asked. “Because, oh man, if you can’t handle—”
“I’m falling in love with you,” he cut in. “I was trying not to even admit it to myself, much less to you, but I can’t help it. I know it’s too soon, I shouldn’t have said this, but you can’t kick my ass at bowling like that and do a touchdown dance with that look on your face and expect me not to fall in love with you on the spot.”
Now it was her turn to stare at him, speechless.
He was falling in love with her? Not despite her ambition, but because of it? It was the triumphant, victorious look on her face when she’d beat him in bowling that made him realize it?
“I—” she said, and then stopped. She hated how Max’s face lit up and then fell when she didn’t finish the sentence, but she had no idea what to say.
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to say something back,” he said. “I didn’t mean to say all of that just now, obviously. Or maybe not obviously, I don’t know, we still don’t know each other all that well, which might make everything I just said sound ridiculous, but—”
“It didn’t sound ridiculous,” she said in a quiet voice.
His eyes drilled into hers, and a smile slowly dawned over his face.
“Good,” he said. “Now, let’s talk about something else. Um, how’s the firm going? Unless you don’t want to talk about that, that might still be stressful, um, how’s the food pantry, did you go there this week?”
She took a sip of beer and tried to pull her mind away from what Max had just said.
“The firm is going . . . okay. Ellie and I are both working every avenue to get business, which is all we can do, and the handful of clients we have seem to like our work a lot, which is key. We’ve gotten a few small projects lately, and that’s promising. I’m still anxious about it, though. I just wish we had one more big client; then maybe I could take a deep breath.” She picked up a nacho. “And yeah, I did go to the food pantry this week. I’m really glad I started going there—I think Jamila, the woman who runs it, and I are becoming actual friends, which is great. I told you about her; she’s the one who helped me get the car. And she had this really great idea for getting teens more involved with their work.”
For the rest of their time in the bowling alley, they drank beer, ate nachos, and talked about everything but the thing they were both thinking about. She told him about Jamila’s idea, and the birthday cake they’d had for one of the other regular volunteers that week; he told her about the protest signs he’d seen that week that had almost made him laugh out loud on national television. And every time they made eye contact, they both looked away, like if their eyes met for more than a few seconds, they’d have to stop talking and laughing and pretending that everything between them hadn’t completely ch
anged in the past hour.
They finished the game—Olivia won handily, though Max had gotten a lot better over the course of the game—and Max touched Olivia’s hand.
“You ready to take off? Or do you want to hang out here some more?”
She shook her head.
“Let’s go. I have no cake at home, or even pie, but I do have ice cream, if that tempts you?”
Max grinned at her.
“You are very good at tempting me, Olivia Monroe.”
They got in his car in the parking lot and were both quiet as they drove back to her house. Then, just as they got off the freeway, Max cleared his throat.
“I meant everything I said back there. In case you were wondering.”
Olivia turned to look at him.
“I thought you did.”
After all of her doubts over the last week, somehow she hadn’t doubted that for a moment.
“Oh. Okay. I just wanted to make sure.”
She couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said. It had been spontaneous and heartfelt and like nothing she’d ever experienced before. She’d had men fall in love with her before—or at least, tell her they had. And she’d fallen in love, too. But she’d always felt like she had to hide parts of herself with all of those men: her ambition, her enthusiasm, her body. Sometimes all of the above. But for someone to really see her, to want her, to love her, the true Olivia, like Max did . . . it all felt brand-new. She had no idea how to respond.
“I don’t want you to think . . . You took me by surprise, that’s all. I didn’t realize . . . well, any of that.”
Max reached over and took her hand.
“I know I caught you off guard. But I’m glad you know now.” He grinned at her. “How about we go back to your house, eat some ice cream, make out like those teenagers around us were all doing, and finally, at long last, I can let you drag me back to your bedroom. Does that sound good?”
She slid her hand into his. That was exactly what she needed right now.
“That sounds great.”
Chapter Eleven
A few weeks later, Max glanced through his calendar during his regular Tuesday lunchtime meeting with Kara. Everything looked normal, except for the weekend. There must be some mistake.
“Why am I on flights to and from San Francisco on Friday and Sunday? Was that some mistake?”
Kara gave him that look he hated, the one he always tried to avoid getting. The “why am I working for this man when I’m so much smarter than him?” look.
“Because, sir, you have two events this weekend in the Bay Area, remember? Friday afternoon right after you get in you have a meeting with a group of teachers and students in Oakland, then that dinner with the tech people, and Saturday night you’re doing the big party fundraiser in San Francisco.”
Kara was right, she was so much smarter than him. How the hell had he managed to forget this? He and Wes had even had conversations about it—Wes was going to be at the fundraiser, too. But this would mean he’d spend the entire weekend away from L.A. Which would mean he would have two whole weeks away from Olivia.
“Shit. Yeah, now I remember.” What if he flew down to L.A. after the fundraiser on Saturday night, and then back to DC from there on Sunday afternoon? That was, if there was a flight late enough Saturday night from San Francisco to L.A., and if the fundraiser didn’t go too long for him to get on that flight, and if Olivia didn’t mind that he’d get to her house after midnight on a Saturday night and fly out again twelve hours later. But he couldn’t make a plan like that without telling his staff why he needed a twelve-hour detour to L.A.
“Is something wrong, sir?” Kara asked him.
He shook his head.
“Nothing’s wrong. I just completely forgot I wasn’t going to be in L.A. this weekend. I left my good pair of running shoes at my house, and I was looking forward to picking them up.”
He had left his good pair of running shoes at his house, but he almost always left them in L.A.
“Oh, we can get someone in the L.A. office to pick them up and send them to meet you in the Bay Area, that’s easy.”
He brushed that away.
“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure the L.A. staff has better things to do than pick up my shoes. I should just order another pair to leave here in DC anyway. Okay, what else do we need to talk about?”
They ran through the rest of his schedule for the week, but the whole time he could feel the emptiness in the pit of his stomach. He wasn’t going to get to see Olivia this weekend. He pretended he was looking up something else and flipped through his calendar, and realized he’d seen her at least once a week for the past three months. He only wished it had been more.
The past few weeks they’d spent as much time together as possible. He almost always had at least one event to attend while he was in L.A. for the weekend, often more, but other than that, he was with her almost the whole time. They’d been at her place and at his, at the movies and at the beach, and one rainy Saturday night when they were both in bad moods, he’d ditched his previous idea for a date, told her to put on all the rain gear she had, and drove them out to Anaheim for four glorious hours at Disneyland, where the rain cleared up just in time for the fireworks. They got in the car afterward, soaking wet and freezing cold and both smiling from ear to ear.
He’d kept waiting for her to respond in some way to what he’d said that night at the bowling alley, but she hadn’t. Their night at Disneyland had been the perfect time for it—they’d held hands on the roller coasters, they’d walked around with huge smiles on their faces, they’d stood, arms wrapped around each other, during the fireworks, and he’d known the entire time that he was no longer falling in love with her—he’d fallen completely. But she hadn’t said anything, so he didn’t bring it up again.
Did she feel the same way? He had no idea. He tried to be mature about this, to not feel hurt, but he couldn’t help it. Sometimes he just wanted to say “I love you, Olivia! Do you love me?” When he’d shown up at her house wearing a red wig, she laughed so hard she’d cried, and then she looked at him with this tender, loving look in her eyes, and he was sure she was going to say it. She hadn’t, but that look from her gave him hope.
It felt like a physical ache, how much he missed her, how much he would miss her even more in the days to come, how much it would suck to get on that long flight back to California on Friday morning and know he wouldn’t see Olivia at the other side of it.
He tried to shake it off. This wasn’t a big deal. He’d see her the following week; it would be fine.
When Kara left his office, he put his head down to try to read through his stack of briefing papers for the hearings the next day, but he couldn’t concentrate on them. The whole reason he and Lana had broken up, shortly before he announced his run for the Senate, was because he’d been so busy he hadn’t made time for her, and he’d realized he hadn’t cared enough to make time for her. He couldn’t conceive of not making time for Olivia. He pulled his personal phone out of his bag.
Bad news—completely forgot I’m not coming to LA this weekend. I’m in the Bay Area all weekend. A school event, a dinner, and huge fundraiser I can’t believe I forgot about
Wait. He had an idea just as he sent that.
Hey—want to come with me? I could do my events, you could see your family, and in between, we could see each other
He dropped his phone in his pocket and bit his lip. Would she go for this? He hoped so.
A few hours later she texted back.
Hahaha that sounds delightful but you know it’s impossible
As soon as his meeting was over, he texted back.
Why is it impossible? You told me you were overdue for a weekend at home—you can have that! See your sister, go to your old favorite burrito places, and spend the nights with me
&nbs
p; Plus, otherwise, we won’t get to see each other until next weekend
After only a few minutes, she texted back.
Let me think about it. Talk to you later?
He knew Olivia well enough by now to know she never made a snap decision, but God, that part of her frustrated him. He wanted her to be excited, say yes, say she loved him, and not have to stop and think about it every time.
He would just have to convince her, that was all.
* * *
* * *
Olivia could not believe she’d let Max talk her into coming to the Bay Area this weekend. She still hadn’t told her family about Max, and there was no way she’d make it through the weekend without telling at least her sister. But as soon as she walked out onto the pavement at the Oakland airport and took a deep breath, she felt her shoulders relax. Sometimes, it was just really fucking good to go home.
She still felt conflicted about her decision to move to L.A. instead of the Bay Area. It made perfect sense business-wise: there were already a lot of firms that did what they did in the Bay Area and fewer in L.A., their handful of anchor clients was mostly based in Southern California, and, most important, Ellie was already settled in L.A. with her family.
But even though she’d lived away from the Bay Area for a long time now, it was still home, in the way New York had never been and L.A. wasn’t yet. Her whole family was here, and even though her mom drove her up the wall half the time, the rest of the time her mom was making her crack up, cooking her favorite foods, or bragging about her. And she always had fun with her sister.
That was probably why she’d finally said yes to Max. After all, Olivia had barely seen her sister since she’d moved back to California.
At first she hadn’t told Alexa about Max because she knew Alexa would have a lot of questions, and Olivia knew she didn’t have the answers. Plus, she didn’t want to get her sister all excited for nothing, and she knew Alexa would be excited about this. But if Olivia was going to stay with Max in his hotel room this weekend, and not in her sister’s guest room, she would definitely have to tell Alexa about him.
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