My mind raced back to the summer of 1970 when my family vacationed in France. Brad was with us, as usual. The most eventful thing I remember that happened on that trip was us getting separated from my parents while strolling through Paris. Brad had spotted a man playing an accordion with a dancing monkey on his shoulders down some side street and of course we had to investigate. Mom and Dad didn’t realize we were gone until it was too late. Imagine the panic of two eleven-year-olds wandering around the streets of Paris not being able to speak a word of French trying to find their family. Luckily, we found a constable who spoke English and helped us locate my parents.
I nodded. “Yeah?”
“You remember that boy Timo that hung out with us at the hotel pool? He was a couple of years older than us.”
“I think so.” I cocked my head to the side.
I recalled the Parisian hotel in which we stayed. Brad and I spent lots of time in the hotel swimming pool. I remember us making friends with a teenager whose family was vacationing from Finland who spoke very broken English. For some reason, he was fascinated with the Old West and kept wanting me and Brad to tell him stories about Texas, as if two kids from Connecticut knew anything about Texas.
“Oh yeah. Tonto.” I laughed at the nickname Brad gave him, which the kid actually found quite funny.
“Yeah. Tonto.” Brad laughed. “Anyway, we were swimming and I had to get out to go pee. So, I got out of the water to go to the restroom. I walked into the men’s room and grabbed a urinal. A few seconds later, he comes in. There were at least three empty urinals on either side of me, but he comes up next to me and bumps me to move over, wanting to share mine.”
“That’s weird. What did you do?” I waited in fascination.
“I thought it was strange, but I moved over thinking it was some European thing,” Brad said, lowering his voice and leaning in closer. “Then after we finish our business, he leans over and kisses me right on the lips.”
“Holy shit!” My jaw dropped. “What did you do?”
“My first thought was to punch him, but then…well…I realized I liked it.” He shrugged his shoulders. “So I kissed him back. Then we both just looked at each other and grinned.”
“Damn, dude.” I shook my head. “That’s crazy.”
“I know. What about you?” Brad grabbed a fork and pushed the jalapeños over to my side of the plate.
“I don’t know. I…I…just really don’t know. I don’t like to talk about it.” I looked down and ran my fork around the plate contemplating whether I should share my mental torment with him.
Brad laid his fork down. “You know you can talk to me about anything, man.” He paused. “Am I the only guy you’re attracted to?”
I started to lie and tell him “yes.” I mean, that would’ve been the easy answer. I was in love with my best friend; that could actually make sense since we’d been together all our lives. It would be easy to say that he was the only guy in the world I found attractive, but that would be a lie.
“No,” I answered lowly.
“Okay.” Brad nodded.
I looked up and could tell my confession hurt him.
“I’m attracted to you the most, but I do find other guys attractive. I mean it’s strictly a physical thing, not like the feelings I have toward you. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah.” Brad let out a long sigh, picked up his fork and began rolling a black olive around with it. “I know what you mean. Like that guy.” He nodded toward the beach.
I followed his eyes to the jogger from earlier that was now jogging back from the other direction.
I checked out his rear. “He’s got a nice butt.” I almost drooled.
“I know, right? It looks almost as good as yours,” he said with a sly grin.
“Look who’s talking,” I replied, a bit more reserved.
Brad chuckled. “It feels weird talking about guys with you. I mean in that way.”
“Yeah, it does.” I smiled. “I guess it’s something we’ll get used to. Just don’t be surprised if I talk about foxy girls, too.”
“Yeah.” He wrinkled his nose again. “I’ll never understand what you find attractive about them.”
• • •
After brunch, we headed back to the condo to change into our swimsuits. I felt a little better after talking with Brad, but I still felt confused. I had no idea where things were going with me and him, but at the moment I didn’t want to think about it. This was a vacation and it was time to relax and have some fun.
“Where did your mom and dad say they were going?” Brad asked, as he pulled off his tank top, struggling to get all his hair through the neck of the shirt.
I snickered as I pulled down my shorts. “Well, they said they were going into town, but I think they were going somewhere else, but you’d never believe it.”
“Where?” Brad asked, pulling down his shorts.
I stopped and glanced out the patio door toward the beach. “You know that couple they met at the bar last night while we waited for a table?” I asked as I thought back to the previous night when we had eaten at this very nice restaurant called Humphrey’s. Mom and Dad had drinks while Brad and I just mulled around.
“You mean that ugly rich dude with the trophy wife?” Brad asked, as he grabbed his Speedo.
“Yeah. I overheard them inviting Mom and Dad to a nude beach today.” I laughed as I yanked my T-shirt over my head.
“No way! You think your parents are nudists?” Brad stopped changing, his mouth agape.
“I don’t know. Let’s just say my mom has some interesting books on keeping a marriage fun,” I said as I thought about the crazy books I had accidently found tucked behind the encyclopedias in our library.
“Wow. My parents are so boring. John’s idea of romance is to take my mom to the bowling alley, get her drunk, then go home and give it to her.” Brad laughed.
I scrunched my face at the thought of a romantic John. “That’s sick, dude.”
“Tell me about it. I wish the walls in our house weren’t so damn thin.”
I held up my hands gesturing him to stop. “Dude! I don’t want to hear this.”
Brad laughed louder as he finally pushed his underwear down and stood stark naked in front of me. I honestly couldn’t help but stare. I hadn’t seen Brad nude in years. He had certainly grown. A lot! I felt my face getting flushed. He grabbed his bathing suit and proceeded to put it on as I readied to push my underwear down.
I saw Brad look at me out of the corner of his eye “Wait,” he ordered and I pulled my hands away.
“What?” I watched Brad run to my suitcase, bend over, and turned around with the tiny Speedo.
He cocked his eye at me. “I dare you to wear this to the beach.”
“Not on your life!” I scowled at him, stunned he’d even suggest it.
“Come on. I double-dog dare you.” He held it up and examined it. “It’s no worse than the ones we saw those French people wearing on that beach in Saint-Tropez. Wasn’t that the name of the town?”
“Yeah. Saint-Tropez,” I confirmed, “and there’s no way. I was embarrassed enough with Susan seeing me in it much less everyone on this entire island.”
He tilted his head mischievously. “Chicken.”
“No. Dude. It would be beyond embarrassing.” It occurred to me that Mrs. Fay would definitely have cause to complain if she saw me in that thing.
He started making chicken squawking noises before sweetening the deal. “I tell you what. You wear this and I’ll give you my General Aldo figure from my Planet of the Apes collection.”
“Dude, that’s not fair.” I sighed as he knew exactly where to strike: my inner nerd. I’d wanted that figure for years to complete my own Apes collection, but he had refused to part with it.
“Come on,” Brad teased. “Itty-bitty Speedo for General Aldo?”
“No, dude!”
Brad started the squawking sounds again.
I paused and stared at him
before relenting. “Here! Give it to me!” He walked over to me smiling like the Cheshire cat. I grabbed it from his hand. “You’re a jackass, you know that?”
“Yeah, I know it.” He laughed evilly.
I stretched out the tiny Speedo and stepped into it, struggling to get it over my quads, butt, and other equipment.
Finally squeezing into it, I examined myself in the mirror. Half of my butt cheeks were on full display and the front was beyond obscene. You could see every detail of my anatomy. I might as well have been visiting the nude beach given what little the swimsuit covered.
Brad burst out laughing. “Oh God, dude!” He bent over as tears filled his eyes. “You look ridiculous.”
“I can’t wear this!” My voice went high. “I’m liable to get arrested.”
“You’re fine. Nobody batted an eye at those French dudes.” He tried to stop laughing. “Besides, no one knows you.” He paused and put his index finger on his chin and looked up as if thinking. “I tell you what. You only have to wear it for an hour to win the bet and then you can change.”
I thought about it. One hour to wear it, I thought as I glanced down at myself. The idea occurred to me if I stayed on the beach and lay on my stomach the entire time, it wouldn’t be as bad. I mean, people could still see my butt, but hey, I’d seen some guys on the beach showing off their buns. Surely, I could stand one hour of embarrassment for three years of begging for that stupid action figure. What was it about my psyche that made me feel I had to have every piece of a collection to a point I’d do the stupidest things on Earth to satisfy that obsession?
“Fine.” I looked up and frowned at him.
We stepped outside the condo with our supplies and headed down the wooden planks to the beach. We passed a few people on the way and I couldn’t help feeling like everyone was staring at me. As we neared the water, a college-aged girl jogged passed us. She stopped, turned around while still jogging in place and yelled, “You’re very brave,” then winked before continuing her jog.
I shot my eyes to Brad. “I’m going back.”
“Come on, man.” He put his hands on my shoulders to stop me from turning around. “She was complimenting you. Besides, we’re almost there. Keep on truckin’.” He tittered.
I growled at him as we continued to a spot just above the wet area of the sand. I quickly threw my beach towel down and flopped down on my stomach. Brad sat down and reached into the beach bag to grab the sunscreen. I immediately knew what he was thinking. I pointed at him and scowled. “Don’t even ask!”
Brad busted out laughing as he began rubbing the lotion on his arm. “Now that might get you arrested.”
“Ha. Ha. You’re a riot. Aren’t you?” I sneered and laid my head back down, folding my hands beneath my chin.
I checked my watch and started counting down the minutes until I would be declared the winner of the bet. A few minutes later, I looked around for the cooler.
“You idiot, you made me forget the cooler.” I turned my head toward Brad who lay beside me facing the opposite direction.
“Sorry,” he mumbled as his chin pressed against his arm.
“I’m dying here,” I licked my parched lips. “Get some money out of the beach bag and go up to the tiki bar and get us some sodas or something,” I ordered.
“Why don’t you go?” He peered at me and grinned.
I flipped him the bird and looked away from him.
I listened as Brad rummaged through the bag before getting up and walking away. I tried to relax to the sound of the waves but all I could think about is the fact that my butt felt very, very hot. I absolutely refused to rub sunscreen on my exposed buns in public.
Several minutes later, I heard footsteps crunching in the sand, coming closer.
“Here,” Brad said.
I raised my gaze at his arrival and saw two red-tinted drinks in his hands.
“What are those?” I asked, checking out the little umbrellas sticking out the tops of the cups.
“Some tropical something. Hell if I know. They looked good.” He held one out.
I reached up for the drink, then brought it to my lips, struggling to figure out how I was going to drink it without a straw while lying face-down.
“You know you aren’t going to be able to drink that lying on your stomach.”
“No shit, Sherlock,” I snapped. “How much time is left before I win this stupid bet?”
Brad glanced down at his watch. “About twenty minutes.”
“Shit!” I cursed.
Staring at the deliciously cold drink in my hand, I licked my lips and could practically taste the refreshing fruity flavors.
I grunted in frustration as I quickly sat up and folded my legs into a lotus position while reaching for my beach towel.
“Eh-eh-eh,” Brad scolded as he sat down. “Covering yourself is against the rules.” He smirked as he put his glass to his lips.
“I hate you.” I tossed the towel to the side before downing the drink in one continuous gulp.
I scrunched my face after pulling the glass from my lips. “Dude! This has alcohol in it!”
“Yeah, I thought you needed something to relax.” He grinned.
“But how? There’s no way that bartender would sell alcohol to a minor!”
Brad pointed farther down the beach. “Remember them?” He took another sip.
I followed his finger to the old German couple we sat next to earlier in the day who were laying back in beach chairs clad in sunglasses and beach hats.
“I…am…son.” Brad spoke in broken English with a fake German accent. “Mutter…Vater…sent…um…umm…buy drinks for…them.”
“Dude! And the bartender totally bought it?” I stared at him in disbelief.
“Hell, I look German. I’m blond. He never doubted one second I wasn’t their son.” He crowed. “I even threw in a few German phrases just to make me sound more convincing.”
“Dude! You’re a genius.”
“I know.” He laughed. “Oh yeah. Here’s your money back.” Brad reached into the side of his Speedo and pulled out the cash.
“What?” I asked, confused.
“I told them to put the drinks on meine Eltern tab.” He laughed.
We both started laughing hysterically.
Over the next two hours, Brad made several trips to fetch his “parents” more drinks. I won the bet twenty minutes later, but by that point I no longer cared. I walked freely, or should I say stumbled, around the beach without giving any thought to my attire. Several beach-goers stared and a few old women covered their mouths and gasped, but I just laughed it off.
Brad stopped drinking after his third, but I kept right on going.
After my fourth drink, I joined a group of college girls playing volleyball. I tried playing with them, but my spinning head prevented me from actually doing anything. Most of the time I spent falling down and acting like a fool. The girls thought I was funny; although Brad certainly did not. My groping of this cute redhead in a skimpy bikini soured him.
As the sun set, things got even wilder. A Caribbean band started playing near the tiki bar and the girls invited us to dance. At that point, Brad was ready to leave, but for me the party was just starting.
I began dancing on the beach with the girls and after another drink, I was a dancing fool; more like a dancing idiot. The girls were now buying me drinks and I was downing them one after another.
Soon, I started doing a sort of strip-tease dance as they playfully stuffed money in my tiny Speedo. One of the girls actually grabbed my partially exposed butt cheek.
At one point in the evening, I glanced at Brad who was leaning against the wooden railing with his arms crossed scowling at me.
After the redhead put her hands on my shoulders and grinded against me, I felt a hand on the back of my shoulder
“Come on! We’re leaving,” Brad ordered.
I twisted my head back and looked at him. “Oh hi, buddy!” I laughed drunkenly. “Kati
e?” I leaned back and pointed at her.
“Yes, Katie.” She grinned.
“Katie,” I winked at her drunkenly, “has invited us back to her hotel room to smoke some weed.”
“We’re going back to the condo,” Brad announced angrily.
“Oh come on, buddy,” I leaned my head against Katie’s shoulder, completely out of it. “She says it’s really primo stuff.”
She giggled and stroked the back of my head. “It is.”
“Mmhmm,” I said with a goofy grin.
“You’re so cute,” she said with a smile.
With her large breasts pressed against my bare chest, I felt myself getting turned on.
“Come on, Shawn. We’re leaving.” Brad grabbed my shoulder and began pulling me away.
“Aww,” I moaned like a disappointed child as I stumbled backward. “I wanna get high.”
“You’re high enough.” Brad kept pulling on me before twisting me around and shoving me in front of him.
I yelled back over my shoulder, “What’s wrong with you?”
“You!” he yelled back. “We’re going to be in a shitload of trouble if we don’t get back now!”
“What time is it?” I tried to focus on my wristwatch, which I wasn’t wearing.
“It’s ten o’clock!” he said as I tripped over a hole in the sand.
“Wow!” I laughed as I fell flat on my face, which for some reason I found quite funny.
“Get up!” Brad grabbed my arm and pulled me up, putting his arm around me to walk to the condo.
By the time we got back, the sound of me doing my best impression of Elvis Presley singing Burning Love echoed along the beach. Brad dug in the bag for the key to the front door.
“Thank you. Thank you very much.” I bowed and curled my lip.
“Good God!” Brad rolled his eyes as he tried to concentrate on the task at hand. “Why in the hell did you flip the lock on the patio door to our bedroom when we left? You know there’s no key to it.”
A Gay Polyester High School Romance Page 16