“I don’t know, don’t care. I want to get the challenge finished so we can focus on the hunt once it’s done.”
Caelynn’s back is pressed to the wall, shifting little by little, and I follow, palms burning against her hips. Don’t think about that now. Don’t think about that now.
I don’t see the crevice until Caelynn steps back into a nook between two slabs of stone. The gap is maybe two feet in width but angled away from the riddle wall.
The shadow sprites chatter, and I wince. Can Brielle and Drake hear it? Shadows twist around my feet and up over my shoulder, pushing. I hadn’t actually felt their strength before, more like the wisp of the wind, but they have a surprising force when they shove at my back, pushing me into the tight crevice with Caelynn. She grabs my shoulders, steadying as I slide in to face her, my back pressed tightly against the uneven stone, our chests just barely touching.
“Hi,” she whispers.
I shiver at the sound of her voice, her breath tingling over my neck. I close my eyes, my chest lifting and falling dramatically. I tilt my head toward the cavern, and she somehow reads my thoughts.
“The sprites can cover noise too.”
“Oh,” I whisper, still too paranoid to speak any louder. Caelynn swirls her finger over the black mist by her ear, and it clears, a dim light exposed and with it, dull sound.
“Welcome, Drake of the Whirling Court. You are the third to approach me.” The Sphynx’s voice carries through the cavern.
Well, thanks for that, I think to the Sphynx. Now, Drake and Brielle know we’ve been here and are very likely nearby. I shake my head.
“We may have to stay here overnight,” Caelynn says.
“Here?” I say, a smile on my lips, eyes dipping to our nearly touching bodies.
She rolls her eyes. “The caves. If they’re looking for us, we can just wait it out in a nook somewhere and let the sprites aid us.”
“Somewhere preferably more spacious.”
A blush creeps across her cheeks, and suddenly, I feel every place our bodies touch with sharp clarity. I gaze down at her. She takes her bottom lip between her teeth, her head falls back against the wall, eyes closed, her body tense beneath mine.
She wants me.
That thought has my brain spinning. My vision blurring. My body shifting.
She gasps and squirms, but with so little space, it only pushes her hips harder against me.
“Shit,” she says, gripping my forearms tightly in her fists.
Hands on either side of her head I weigh my options quickly. I could take her now—why not? She wants it. I want it. No one would ever know. No one would really care, not once she’s dead. Okay, that’s a bit of a morbid thought.
My point is, it’s not like it means anything. What’s wrong with indulging myself just once?
Besides, I really like the tortured expression on her face. She knows she shouldn’t want me, but she does. She knows it’ll only end badly, but she can’t help it.
I lick my lips, playing it out in my head, unconsciously pressing my body closer to hers. Damn she feels good. Our enemies are feet away. How long will the sprites stay here to shield us? It would be some seriously kinky—and dangerous—shit if we were to act on this attraction now. I shake my head.
Dammit, I want it. I want her. So badly it’s hard to think.
But I’ve already admitted to myself that the more time I spend with her, the harder it will be to do what I must. I’ve promised up and down that I’d end her.
If I kiss her, could I still hate her? Could I still stab her through the heart?
If I give in to this feeling, what’s to say I won’t give in to that stupid urge to protect her? My stomach aches, a heavy feeling that spreads all the way to my chest.
“You killed my brother,” I remind us both, decision made. Illusion shattered. It’s the wet blanket I need to pull my body out of this spiral of need.
Her eyes are soft as she meets mine. Her sadness exposed in a way I’ve never seen. “Yes,” she whispers.
“Are you even sorry?” I ask, mostly because the look in her eyes tells me she is. Which surprises me.
She opens her mouth to speak but then closes it and reconsiders.
“Yes.” She pauses, and I wait, watching the pain so obvious on her face. “If you think you hate me more than I hate myself, you’re wrong.”
I suck in a small breath. “Why do you hide that?” Why show the world this mask of indifference?
“Because it wouldn’t change anything.”
I swallow. She killed my brother. In cold blood. Even if he did those things to her that I saw in the last trial—he was still my brother.
“Why?” The harsh word slips from my lips before I can take it back. I don’t know that I really want to know. I don’t know if I want to have the image of my brother—strong and brave and good—shattered. And the image of Caelynn—cruel and calculating and manipulative—changed.
She shakes her head. “You don’t want to know the answer to that question.”
I sigh, knowing she’s right. And I’m thankful she’s wise enough to realize it too.
Caelynn
Holy shit, my body is on fire. I can hardly manage to keep my muscles in place, to stop my hands from roving over his sculpted body. I can feel him pressed against me. Only a few layers of clothing stand between us.
No, there are worlds between Rev and me. Physically, sure, we could remove the clothes and give our bodies what they’re thirsting for, but what good would that do? I’d only want more. I’d only be giving myself false hope.
Still, the tension in his body tells me he’s moments from snapping. And one move from him would have me unravelling. It’s a bad idea, terrible, horrible. But if he gave me a yes, I know I couldn’t stop myself.
Then he reminds us both of why we can never be together. He reminds me what I gave up all those years ago. My stomach sinks, veins going cold. Heart growing hard.
They’re gone, a whisper tells me.
I take in a long breath, pulling my armor over my heart. “We can go now.” Even in a whisper, my voice still breaks. He backs out first, eyes lingering on me, but I refuse to meet his.
“You’re doing it now,” he tells me.
My eyebrows pull down. “Doing what?”
He looks over his shoulder at the wall behind him. The wall where our riddles were written. He pulls in a long breath and looks at me meaningfully. The riddle? My riddle?
I’m doing it now. What am I doing right now? Hiding? Pretending. My riddle was a noun not a verb, I’m confident about that. So how am I doing it?
I think about my riddle, running the words through my mind.
Battle is my purpose, but I have no ability to fight
I am bitten again and again, enduring pain for a betterment of another
Ever diligent, I await the next attack
I may cover a wound, but it cannot heal until it sheds my protection
It cannot heal, until it sheds my protection. I close my eyes at that truth. The answer is obvious now, but I’m not sure I’m ready to expose myself to all the pain that comes with shedding my armor.
“Sphynx, my answer is Armor,” I say aloud.
“Complete,” the Sphynx announces. I release a breath.
Rev shrugs. “Now, I just need to figure out mine.”
I smile. I know his. It’s even more obvious than mine, but I wonder how much the Sphynx will allow us to help each other?
“You remember what you wished for at the Ruby Well?”
His eyebrows raise, considering for a moment. “I’m sensing a theme.” His smile is more bitter than pleased, and I wonder what’s happening in his mind right now.
“If only I’d known,” he says quietly.
I purse my lips, what does that mean?
“Sphynx, my answer is Truth,” he announces.
“Complete,” the Sphynx responds.
Now that our task is complete, we can leave the caves while Dr
ake and Brielle are still here pondering theirs. Of course, it’s possible they completed them immediately—we were too distracted to pay attention.
Either way, the added protection of the shadow sprites is an advantage I’m not eager to give up on, so we decide to find a place to camp closer to the cave’s exit and get some much-needed sleep for the both of us.
Rev
“Reveln.” An alluring voice rouses me from a deep sleep. Darkness surrounds my body and soul, both. “Come here,” he calls. The voice is familiar but distant.
“If you want to know the truth...” the voice rumbles, becoming clearer. “If you want to know how I died... if you want to know why...”
My eye fling wide, suddenly realizing why it sounds familiar.
“Reahgan?” I whisper.
“Yeeeessss.”
My brain can’t wrap around what’s happening. Panic fills my limbs. Panic and calm, somehow at the same time. My body moves without active thought, almost without permission. But I want this, I remember. I need to know the truth.
My feet shuffle over uneven stone, moving through the darkness like they know the way even when my eyes can’t focus on a thing in front of me. I wander down a thread of the caves I’m unfamiliar with, a tunnel small enough I must duck to crawl into, and the shifting of unease settles in my stomach—I’m not supposed to go here.
“Rev?” a sweet voice calls, but I barely register it.
All I know is that Reahgan is calling me, and I have to meet him. In the depths of these caves, my brother is waiting for me...
I stop suddenly as a firm hand grips my forearm. “No,” she tells me, fear and determination mixing in her tone. I blink. Pausing.
“You can’t take him,” Caelynn says to the darkness swirling around us, her voice trembling. “I won’t let you.”
A voice rumbles in laughter, deep within dark cave opening before us.
“Do you want to know why Caelynn is so strong?” the voice calls, now changing into something much more sinister. I blink and shake my head. That isn’t Reahgan.
My heart pounds in my chest as my mind clears to realize what’s happening. I was under a spell. I take a step back, and Caelynn pulls me farther from the tunnel. Whatever it was, whatever dark creature is waiting down there, was baiting me. Using my own grief against me.
“She has my power,” it calls, still laughing, but anger laces its unnatural tone. “She bargained for it. Ask her. Ask her what it cost.”
I DROP MY BUTT TO THE floor beside our camp, body drained. “That’s how you got this power of yours?” My throat is dry, my voice hoarse. “This creature—whatever it is. You...” I press my fist to my eyes, rubbing. “How?”
I know the creature was trying to trick me. I was his prey. But his words somehow cling to my mind and I can’t let them go.
He was telling the truth. I know it. Deep down, I believe it to be true.
If only I had known. If only I had known.
My own words. A desperate plea the Black Gate so graciously illustrated. In my death, a violent, guilt-ridden death, I repeated over and over again—if only I’d known.
The Ruby Well tried to tell me.
The Sphynx’s riddle tried to tell me.
The Black Gate tried to tell me.
I am missing something big—something I need to know, or it will end me. And as I look into Caelynn’s dim eyes, once glowing bright with power no one expected her to have, I know she is the one that holds it.
“Tell me,” I growl.
“No.”
“Caelynn, I swear to you.” I stand, hands in fists, ready to attack, ready to do whatever I can to get this information from her because everything I know, everything in me is telling me my life depends on it.
She sucks in a desperate breath, her mouth wide and eyes open in shock. I blink, confused at her reaction. What did I...
“Oh.” My anger pops like a damned balloon.
I said her name.
Call me by my name before you kill me.
A wave of regret washes over me, all intensity dissolving in one instant. I drop my bottom back on the stone, unable and unwilling to hold up my own weight any longer. She doesn’t speak or move. For so long, I swear the shadow sprites must be blocking our own sounds from us.
I pull in a breath. This is still important. I can’t let her distract me from this.
“You bargained with that creature down there for the power you hold.” That’s the only truth I have so far. I could assume more, but I’d rather not. I need to know the full truth.
“Rev,” she says. “I promise, you do not want to know this.”
I clench my jaw. “Do you know what the Black Gate showed me?”
“You’re not supposed to...”
“I don’t care,” I tell her. “My death must have been painful and chaotic. I don’t really care about that. There were words spoken to me. My own thoughts at my death, that’s what you said, right?”
She sits on her own stone, facing me, and nods slowly.
“If only I’d known.” I pause, looking down at my hands. “Those were the words. That’s what I thought during my death. If only I had known. But it wasn’t just a phrase or even a quick chanting. It was repetitive and intense and... desperate. It was screaming at me. Those words. Crying them over and over. The Black Gate made it very clear that this message was important. Desperately so. So, you can tell me all you want that I don’t want to know this truth, but everything within this competition has told me otherwise. The Ruby Well somehow stuck it in my head to wish for truth. The Black Gate showed me how I’d regret not knowing something in my death. Even the answer to the riddle was truth. And I am certain, more than anything else, that the truth I need most comes from you. You hold it. I know you do.”
I let out a breath and suck in another.
She stares at me, unblinking. “I hold a lot of truths,” she whispers. “Truths no one else in the world should know.”
“Caelynn,” I say.
She closes her eyes, and I wince at the serene expression that fills her face. She likes it when I say her name.
And there is that dizzy feeling again. No. No, there is nothing between us. We are allies until it’s time to be enemies again. I will not allow anything more.
“Please,” I say.
She shakes her head as a tear escapes her right eye. “What do you want to know?”
I pull in a breath, knowing I’m going to hate the answer to this question. Knowing it’s going to make me hate her more than I already do—and maybe that’s a good thing. Certainly, it shouldn’t hurt the way it does. “What was the bargain? What was the cost for the power he gave you?”
No one in the Shadow Court has been as powerful as she is in centuries. So why now? Why her? Because she bargained for it from an evil creature. It makes sense, but now I have to know the cost.
She considers, eyes cast to the floor, at the short distance between our feet. “Banishment,” she says.
I wince. “You murdered my brother,” I infer for her, since she clearly doesn’t want to say it aloud. “You bargained with an ancient being, and the terms were to kill Reahgan to obtain this power.”
My voice breaks as I finish the sentence. I want to kill her more than I have at any single point before in my life, which is saying something. I want to strangle her, this woman who somehow thinks my brother’s life was expendable. That somehow having a bit more magic was worth becoming a murderer and destroying my life in the process.
Selfish. Manipulative. Horrendous. Devious. Evil. Selfish. Awful.
Dead.
My whole body is shaking so intensely I barely hear her as she whispers, “not exactly.” She stands suddenly and takes several steps away. Her rapid breathing is the only sound that fills our small camp site.
“Tell me,” I demand. Before I explode. Before I react without all the information.
If only I had known.
“It’s not like I went to him looking for power.
He found me. He... trapped me. I was bargaining for my own life, but he likes to think himself generous, so he threw in the power as a boon. And it wasn’t... well, his terms were unclear. I used that to my advantage.”
“What does that mean?”
“He didn’t tell me to kill Reahgan. He didn’t even intend for me to kill Rheagan. He told me to kill the youngest son of Luminescent Court King.”
I blink. What? “But that would’ve meant... me.”
“Yes,” she whispers.
“So, you broke the bargain? And all you got was banishment?”
“No. Banishment was my punishment for outwitting him. He’d underestimated me. If I’d done what he’d asked, no one would have ever known I was the one that killed you, he made that clear. Since I killed the ‘wrong’ heir but still technically completed the bargain, he made sure I was caught and suffered the consequences. He probably expected me to be put to death. It was a blessing I was still years from adulthood, even months from my first rite of passage. He had to give me the power he offered because it was part of our bargain.”
“But how? How did you outwit him? And why? Why was killing Reahgan better than killing me?”
I stare at the silver hair flowing down her back. She doesn’t respond, not for a long while. “I don’t know if he knew it when he proposed our terms, if that was the reason he chose me as his assassin—because it would be the worst kind of torment to force me to kill my own...”
She doesn’t finish the phrase, but I still leap to my feet as if she did. I should ask, to be sure what she was about to say. But I can’t make my mouth form the words.
No.
I shake my head. I don’t want to know that. I... can’t handle facing it. I’m supposed to be seeking truth, but this one... this one might break me. So, I avoid it.
“I stalled once I found out. I learned that Reahgan was an asshole...” She shakes her head stopping herself. “And then, by another bitter blessing, I learned the one thing that could get me out of the fate he’d forced me into. Not that the alternative was all that much better—killing your brother, I knew, was still an unforgiveable crime. But still, at my worst moments, I’ve been proud that I won. Technically. I lost, in so many ways. But I beat him.”
Trial of Thorns (Wicked Fae Book 1) Page 21