by Georgia Rose
“Thank you, Emma.” I could hear the relief in his voice, the release of tension. “That means a lot.” I smiled and handed him the next photo and asked him to talk me through it. Then the next, then the next…
We talked for another hour and then it was time for him to go. I walked out with him to the kitchen and he turned to me, awkwardly starting to say goodbye. I don’t know what made me do it but I held my arms out to him and, with a look of relief, he walked right into them. My arms went around him, his body solid and spare, and I inhaled the masculine scent mixed with the smoke of the cigars I’d seen in his pocket – the scent I’d recognised from the box, warm and comforting. Closing my eyes, I relaxed into the security and safety of my father’s arms as they enclosed me. Crushing me to him, he hugged me ferociously – and that was the trigger…
Something between a cry and a sob escaped from me, painfully, and I felt his body heave with unexpressed emotion. For a few brief moments I was transported back; a little girl again in his arms.
A wave of emotion threatened to engulf me as I heard him whisper, “Oh, Emma, I love you and I’ve waited so long…too long to tell you.”
But overwhelmed, I couldn’t respond.
Chapter 9
That hug well and truly mixed me up and I kept to myself as I tried to straighten the thoughts in my mind. I’d loved it actually and wished I could just accept it for what it was: my father back in my life. Let it go at that. I was envious of everyone else’s apparent easy delight at Volkov coming forward and claiming me as his own – a fact that had now been proven by the results of the DNA test – but I couldn’t. I felt uneasy. I knew I was angry with him for leaving me, resentful for him not choosing me, not staying with me and leaving the Polzins far, far behind, but there was something else. Something I couldn’t yet put a name to was making me anxious.
We were all called up to the Manor a few evenings later for a meeting, and as I walked in the office the atmosphere was buzzing. I saw Trent across the room, the first time I’d seen him since he’d left the cottage that morning.
And then I saw him.
Volkov was there, and there wasn’t a person on the estate that didn’t want the chance to meet him. Apparently he was quite well thought of in the circles that everyone else here moved in – a celebrity of the shadowy underworld of assassination, if you will. Of course, until now no one had known what he looked like, and I guessed the secrecy and intrigue had added to the mystique of the man.
I wondered then if any of them were a tad disappointed to find that, when it came down to it, he was just a man after all, and one in his fifties at that. I imagined many who had heard tales of his vigilante-style killings had envisaged him in some caped crusader get-up and were maybe feeling more than a little let down as he stood among them in an everyday checked shirt and jeans like any other mortal. Though I had to say, disappointment wasn’t the feeling I got from the room.
I realised I’d been a bit up and down over the last few days, but right at that moment I was on a down and feeling pretty pissed off, mostly because Volkov hadn’t been in touch with me. He hadn’t told me he was coming so I didn’t know until I walked in the office. I presumed he’d somehow made contact so Cavendish must have known, and Trent, but no one had seen fit to tell me. This meeting was all business, I was told later, although Trent apologised for not saying something, his excuse being it was last minute and he’d assumed Volkov had done so. Why he would assume Volkov was about to start considering my feelings was beyond me.
I halted momentarily as I walked in, realising what was going on as Volkov met my eye through the crowd and smiled as he raised his hand. I raised mine in return and carried on to the end of the room to see Trent. If Volkov was disappointed I didn’t run up to him seeking his attention he didn’t show it, and I told myself those days were well and truly gone. I guess he might have been hurt I hadn’t been a little more welcoming, but like I said, I was all over the place.
Trent told me Volkov was here to discuss the latest on the Polzins and what we could do to flush them out and it was the ideal time for everyone to be updated on the situation. For some reason I was feeling lonely in the crowd so I wandered off to take my seat, making myself comfortable. Trent came and sat on the arm of the settee next to me, and everyone else started to settle down. Within a couple of minutes the room was quiet.
There was nothing formal about this meeting. After a brief introduction by Cavendish, Volkov was invited to give us an update, but it didn’t appear to me he had much more to say than we already knew. Anatoly and Orlov were still keeping themselves out of the action and it was pretty much impossible to pin down where they were as they moved so regularly.
I realised that not everyone on the estate had heard all of this already so it was bringing them up to speed, but I started to wonder what the point was of me being at this meeting. My train of thought was wandering off in quite another direction when the reason was suddenly made brutally clear.
Volkov had told us he would be given until mid-April to complete the contract. That had been a week ago and while he’d received no pressure from the Polzins he was understandably anxious about the delay and felt we needed to do something else to draw them out.
Carlton asked what form that ‘something else’ might take. Volkov paused for a long moment, and I knew as soon as the words left his mouth that this was what he had come to tell us. This was the whole purpose of the meeting. He weighed his words carefully before speaking.
“It would take them finding out who Emma really is.”
The room erupted and Trent was on his feet immediately, striding towards Volkov as he responded sternly, “No, you are not using her as bait.”
I sat in silence as I watched the chaos unfold around me, everyone talking at once. Cavendish trying to reason with a furious Trent, telling him they were sending people after me anyway. If they knew I was Volkov’s daughter they might just come themselves.
I knew right then what I needed to do. I hated being dependent on anyone else but whilst I was vulnerable because of my physical state now was not the time for me to be weak. While it went against the grain, I was going to have to accept help and put my trust in others. Grabbing the arm of the settee, I pulled myself forward and stood, watching those around me arguing about how best to protect me. They were willing, and I hoped they were right.
I caught Volkov’s eye and held it as I said, “Let them come.”
My voice was nowhere near loud enough to be heard by all, but those immediately around me hushed, the ripples flowing outward to reach Trent and Cavendish, who were still arguing. Aware of the silence building around them, though unaware of its cause, they also became quiet.
Trent turned towards me. “Did you say something, Emma?” I could hear in his voice that he half suspected, but didn’t want to believe.
“I said let them come, Trent.” And I watched his face cloud with pain as he closed his eyes briefly. “This vendetta of theirs has already been going on most of my lifetime. They killed my mother and it’s time it was ended, one way or another.”
I looked around the office at all my friends before continuing, “I’m sorry you’ve all been dragged into this, but what was your business anyway has been made personal and we might as well take advantage of that opportunity if we can. Orlov’s need for vengeance is his weakness and it will be their undoing. If it takes me to be the one to draw them out then so be it. Let them come.”
I could see the fury in Trent’s eyes, but it was mixed with something else and I hoped I recognised it right: pride.
The meeting was winding up and the room gradually emptied. I was tired and, making my excuses to go, I went to say goodbye to Volkov, which was awkward and stilted after our hug the last time we’d left each other. But he didn’t seem to want to push it by expecting another one with everyone around and I appreciated that. I told Trent I was off home and he told me he’d join me as soon as the meeting was fully wrapped up.
Wh
en I left the room I needed to go to the toilet first – big baby, small bladder and all that. I went to the same one I’d visited the night of the ‘big interrogation’. As I walked back towards the office I saw the door had been left open, and I slowed my pace as I could hear Volkov’s voice clearly. I stopped – something in the urgency of his tone made me and, standing as close to the doorway as I could without giving myself away, I shamelessly eavesdropped.
Obviously I had no idea what the lead-up conversation had been, but Volkov was earnest in the way he was speaking. I heard, “…you know what he is like, what he is capable of, Trent. Whatever it takes…You do understand me, don’t you? I’m relying on you when I say that…”
Trent’s simple response – “I understand” – sounded serious and loaded with resignation to whatever was being asked of him, then I heard footsteps approaching. I swiftly pushed myself off the wall and walked away from the office so I was not in the vicinity by the time Cavendish reached the door. As I glanced back I saw him peer out, but he didn’t spot me. Then he pushed the door closed.
I walked back past the office door, not bothering to look in and let Trent know I was heading to the stables, assuming I’d meet him there later. I didn’t even get as far as the kitchen before Greene caught up with me, closely followed by Carlton, and they offered to take me home.
From that moment on I knew I was being guarded. Nothing was obviously said, but when we got back to the stables, Turner was there unnecessarily doing the late watering. I could have done that, but everyone was keen to get me into the house. The three of them came in for a coffee then left when Trent got back a short while later.
He was twitchy and unsettled and, I thought, pissed off at me for offering myself up so easily to lure Orlov here.
“Are you angry with me?” I decided I’d better just come out and ask to get it over with.
“What do you think?” His response, initially fierce, surprisingly tailed off as he grabbed the back of one of the kitchen chairs with both hands. Bowing his head low, he groaned in what sounded like frustration. “Why did you have to do that, Emma?”
I didn’t think I needed to answer. Suddenly he let go of the chair, led me through to the sitting room and sat me down, taking both my hands in his and looking at me earnestly before surprising the hell out of me.
“I’m thinking perhaps we should leave the estate.”
“What?” was my stunned reply. I’d never seen him this rattled.
He shook his head. “This is not going to end well, Emma, I can feel it, and I want you away from here, somewhere safe.” I stared at him in disbelief. It had always been me that had got itchy feet in the past and been the one to consider leaving. Where would we go? My house in Crowthorpe was still occupied so that was out of the question, and anyway, Volkov knew about that so you could bet the others would before too long. We could just go and hide out in some hotel or bed and breakfast somewhere, but what would that achieve? Our problem was not going away. It had to be dealt with however much we didn’t want to.
“We can’t leave now, Trent, we need to bring an end to this. Everyone’s ready…it will be fine.” I tried to reassure him though, like him, I wasn’t so sure. Although I wanted to question him about what I’d overhead, I couldn’t because of the circumstances in which I’d gained the knowledge. He was holding something back, I knew it. Something was going on between him and my father, but he didn’t open up.
I knew he wasn’t convinced by my assertions that all would be well, but before we could take it any further a distraction arrived in the form of a text from my father. My first. He’d sent:
‘Am sorry we had no time together like the other night, as it gave me great pleasure that you went through the family photos with me. Maybe another time, as it was lovely to see you this evening. X’.
It was something – actually it was more than something, it was a good start. Caller ID showed his number to be withheld so I could do nothing to encourage or extend the contact, but he’d listened.
I showed it to Trent who studied it for a few moments, making some sort of non-committal noise as I told him about it being a good start. His eyes narrowed in thought before he handed me back my phone and agreed with me that it was indeed a start. I wasn’t convinced he was sincere. He was distracted and I believed only saying what I wanted to hear, but I wasn’t sure what was behind that belief. He’d moved on from wanting to leave, however, not returning to the subject as we got ready to go to bed.
When I let Susie out I saw Wade and Hayes sitting in a pickup out in the yard. Another pickup was parked in front of the cottage, though from the bedroom window I couldn’t see who was in that one.
“Is this entirely necessary?” I murmured to Trent as we got into bed. “Volkov’s only just left. It’s hardly likely the Polzins are going to strike in the middle of the night, are they?”
“Who knows, Em? We don’t know where they are, or how quickly Volkov will tell them, or how quickly they’ll move after that – if they move at all. Best be prepared.” I lay on my side, his body curved around mine, his arm holding me closer as his hand rested comfortably on my breast. I could feel his chest up against my back, his skin warm, and I smiled.
“Meanwhile we’ve just got to sit and wait?” That thought was an uncomfortable one and I sounded impatient.
“Yes, but you know how it is, Em. With our lives in danger, we need to make the most of every second, for any moment could be our last.” I didn’t need to be able to see his face; I could feel his smile as he continued, his voice humming through me, “I think we should try to distract ourselves, fill the time as best we can.”
I felt him lean up behind me, his hand skimming its way up my leg, over my hip, my waist, reaching for my breasts, my nipples, his lips finding their way up my neck, his teeth grazing my earlobe as I turned towards him – though not as easily as I’d managed to a couple of months before. This part of our lives had become more of a logistical challenge the larger I’d grown. Now we fitted together whichever way we could manage, and tonight Trent sat up and reached to pull me astride him, our baby cradled between us. I hoped among all the anxieties being filtered through to him, Baby would also feel our love for each other.
Trent’s hands were restless on my thighs, then, moving to my hips, they held me tighter, guiding me as I rose up on my knees before lowering myself on to him. As he hitched his hips, thrusting into me, I slowed him, my hand on his chest where I could feel his heart pounding. His lips, his tongue were on my breasts, and I marvelled at the way the changes in my body hadn’t put him off, not one little bit. He’d told me he was making the most of me, of all of me, while he could, and I loved that. He turned me on just saying it. He looked up, meeting my eyes as I leaned in to kiss him, his mouth soft and gentle, his tongue teasing and flicking, meeting mine then stilling as I took his into my mouth sucking on it, toying with it then releasing it only to feel his desperation for more.
I pushed him back so I could lean forward, sinking lower onto him, the slick heat of my need for him deliciously taking every inch and as I did I felt his temperature rise, beads of sweat breaking across his forehead as I held him. I moved slowly, directing the pace, holding him back from taking more as his body strained beneath me, seeking its release, my body imploring for the same, my desire eventually giving it to him harder, faster, just what he wanted, our kisses harsh, our mouths absorbing each other’s cries as we came…
In the early hours it became clear to me. Having taken a long time with all the chaos that was percolating through my brain, I finally realised what it was, the reason for my disquiet. In the end it was quite simple: I didn’t believe Volkov would put me first. I didn’t believe a man who could walk away from his child, leaving it to be brought up by strangers, would choose me over the people who paid him, the people who had run his life for so many years.
In short, I didn’t trust him.
I couldn’t shift this thought from my mind so lay awake for hours and th
e sleep that eventually came was so close to being awake it didn’t deserve the name.
The lack of a decent night’s rest made for an overly tired start to the day which when coupled with the fact that my generally peaceful yard was overpopulated didn’t help my grumpy state of mind.
I prepared the horses for their rides and watched them leave, longing to get back to being the one taking them out; then I mucked out, filled water buckets and hay nets, swept the yard and groomed all four of my charges when they returned. And throughout there was a steady flow of people checking in to see that everything was all right and being terribly casual about it which made me more edgy than ever as it was obvious that actually no, everything was not all right.
But as we always do in these situations, I assured everyone who stopped by that everything was fine and we smiled and chatted about nothing, rather than facing up to the truth of what was coming.
Ridiculously, considering who had been the cause of me feeling like this, I was pleased to receive a couple more texts from Volkov. The first, just after breakfast read:
‘Good morning, I trust you had a peaceful night. X’.
The second, later on in the morning:
‘I hope you’re having a good morning and I look forward to seeing you again soon. X’.
Short but sweet. Once he’d started it appeared he couldn’t stop but I appreciated it; perhaps one day our relationship could become something real.
I told Trent of my misgivings after lunch when we took Susie out for a walk. She had stopped going out on the first ride of the day ever since Volkov had turned up. Sensing my mood changes she didn’t like to leave me so I’d generally take her out for a walk every day instead.
Now Trent insisted on coming with me and he’d made sure that others knew where we were and were reasonably nearby should they be needed.