His hand went into her hair, and he kissed the top of her head. “You’ll never be able to say we aren’t compatible in bed or in D/s.”
She giggled. “That’s for sure.” No one would ever be able to make her feel the way he did. She had no doubt. Now she just needed to find a way to express her stupid secrets.
It’s unseemly… She tensed, grimacing, fighting away her father’s words. He was wrong. She knew it in her heart. She just needed a little more time to chase away the absurdity and share.
Soon.
“You okay, baby?”
“Yes. So good.” She relaxed into him again, holding him tight. “Thank you,” she whispered as she drifted to sleep.
Chapter 16
Colin was in the kitchen the next morning, trying to find his way around, when Rayne entered. He was wearing flannel sleep pants and nothing else. She was dressed for the office.
Her face was flushed as if she were embarrassed. “Um…”
He reached out a hand. “Come here.”
She obeyed, her heels clicking on the tile as she approached.
When she was close enough, he set the spatula down and reached out and hauled her to his side.
She glanced at the bacon and fried eggs in the pan. “You’re cooking.”
He turned more fully toward her, wrapped his arms around her middle, and smiled. “I hope you don’t mind. I was hungry. Aren’t you?”
“I could eat. It’s been a long time since anyone cooked for me.”
He smiled wider. “Then it’s your lucky day.”
She glanced over her shoulder. “London?”
“Hasn’t surfaced yet. I’ll give her some more time.”
“I need to leave in a few minutes.”
“I figured. Sit. I’ll feed you, and then you can go save the world, one divorce at a time.”
She finally returned his smile, even chuckling. “I’m not sure that’s particularly honorable.”
“Half the people think so,” he joked as he released her to fill the plates.
“True,” she said as she snagged a piece of bacon.
When he had them settled at the table, it felt very domestic sitting in her kitchen next to her eating breakfast.
“Are you in the office today?” he asked.
“No. I go to a shelter on Thursdays.”
He frowned. “Is it safe?”
She cocked her head to one side and shot him a look. “Colin…” she warned.
He lifted both hands in surrender. “Sorry. I worry.”
“Get over it. I’ve been doing the strength training you taught me. I’ll be able to protect myself against your imaginary predators in no time.” She smiled broadly.
Colin did not smile in return.
She sighed. “It’s my job. It’s what I do. I’ve done it just fine for a year without you. I shall continue to do so even if you’re sleeping in my bed.”
“Am I?”
Her eyes scrunched. “Are you what?”
“Sleeping in your bed.” He reached across the table and took her hand, meeting her gaze. “I find I like sleeping with you. In fact, I’ve never slept so hard or so soundly as I have the few times I was with you.”
She hesitated. “How about we see how it goes? There’s no way you can go home with your house torn up and blood on the carpet. It’s going to take some time to have repairs done. So, let’s leave it at that. You’re staying here for at least that long. Let’s see how we feel afterward.”
“A forced trial period,” he teased, his heart seizing. God, he wanted this. The circumstances were out of anyone’s control, but if the result was him in her bed every night for at least a week, he wouldn’t complain.
“Sure. Call it whatever you want.”
For a few minutes, they ate in silence, and then Rayne set her fork down, wiped her lips, and met his gaze. “I have a question, and I don’t want you to take it the wrong way and get angry. It’s just a question.”
“Okaaay.” He wasn’t sure what to make of this line of inquiry.
“London said she couldn’t reach you last night because you were at the club.”
He nodded. “Yeah, that’s right. We finalized the contract yesterday. Aaron and I wanted to get plans drawn up and construction started as soon as possible. Men were there working kinda late. I guess I set my phone down someplace and forgot about it. That’s why I missed London’s call.”
What was her question? He was confused.
Her shoulders lowered, tension easing from her body before she dipped her face and her gaze too. Her hands fisted next to her plate. “Club Zodiac,” she murmured.
“The one and only. Well, the second I suppose I should say. Why?” And then realization dawned. Shit. “Oh.” He forced himself to think through his reaction. “You thought I was at Roses and Thorns.” Of course she had. If London had said the club, that would be the logical assumption. After all, Colin hadn’t spoken to Rayne in several days. She had no way of knowing how close he’d been to closing the deal on the space for Zodiac.
She lifted her face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed… That seems to be a habit of mine.”
He grabbed her hand again. “It’s okay. Let it go.”
“I completely forgot about it until I was in the shower. And then my mind kept filling with absurd visions of you at Roses and Thorns.” She sat up straighter. “Not that you need my permission to go there, of course. Nor should I concern myself with it. I just—”
He cut off her rambling. “Rayne,” he said, squeezing her hand again. “It’s okay. Logical. I hadn’t even called you in three days. It was my fault you had the wrong impression in the first place.”
She inhaled slowly and let it out. “Still. I’m sorry. I keep doubting you, and it’s not fair. I’m not very good at relationships. The few I’ve been in I totally botched.”
He shoved his chair back and pulled her out of hers, hauling her between his legs. He settled her on his lap and cupped her face with one hand. “Rayne, it’s okay,” he repeated. “If the roles had been reversed and I’d heard you were out at a club without me, I would have lost my shit.”
She nodded slowly, but her expression was leery.
He held her closer. “Rayne, this is kinda new for us. We haven’t spelled anything out. We can do that, but not when you need to get to work. For now, let me just say that even though I was frustrated earlier this week, I was far angrier with myself than you. I haven’t touched another woman since we first hooked up. I haven’t been to Roses and Thorns or any other club. Except the empty walls of Zodiac, that is.”
He smiled at her and gave her a slight shake, hoping to wipe the concerned look from her face. “Baby, we’ll figure this out together. My thoughts are only on you. No other woman. Got it?”
She nodded, her face slightly pink. “I’m being ridiculous. I have no right to be so possessive.”
“Of course you do. We’re sleeping together. And even more intense, we’re in a D/s relationship. That takes commitment and far more discussion than we’ve devoted to it. We’ll do that later. Get to work.” He released her.
She hesitated, leaning down to kiss his lips. “Thank you. For everything.” She stood. “There’s a spare key on the hook next to the back door. And a garage door opener.”
“Alarm?”
“Don’t worry about it today. I’ll show it to you tonight.”
“Okay. Be careful. Be safe. Call if you need me.”
She grabbed her purse and backed to the door. There was an adorable smile on her face as she turned to leave.
Yeah. Things were looking up. Now he just needed her to relax enough to share the rest of her secrets. At this point, knowing her better, he truly doubted whatever she was hiding would seem nearly as important to him as it did her. It seemed she had some irrational belief that people shouldn’t discuss their private lives with anyone.
If her father had pounded that into her head from a young age, she’d had years to warp her min
d. Had the man expected her to spend her entire life alone, not sharing the details of her childhood with anyone? Or had Rayne simply misunderstood and twisted his words into something far more intense than it was intended?
Either way, Colin was braced for when it would come. At least he hoped he was.
Chapter 17
Rayne didn’t get home until late Thursday night, and Colin had been at Zodiac. By the time he slid into her bed and drew her into his arms, she was too tired to do more than kiss him and mumble herself back to sleep.
They needed to talk at some point, but they were both extremely busy. On Friday he was also at Zodiac when Rayne got home, but he had texted and said he would be there as soon as he could get away.
Rayne entered through the garage to find London sitting at her kitchen table staring at her laptop. She turned around and smiled when Rayne walked in. “Hey. I need to thank you again for letting me stay here. I’m not sure what I would do otherwise. The thought of ever returning to Colin’s house gives me the creeps.”
Rayne kicked off her heels and dropped them by the door on her way in. “You’re more than welcome. As you can see, this place is way too big for one person. Stay as long as you like. It’s been quiet here for far too many years.”
London turned sideways in her chair. “Colin mentioned it was your family home. Your childhood home.”
“Yes.” Rayne glanced around and shuddered. “Honestly, I’m not sure I even want to keep it. I don’t know why I’ve stayed in it so long. It’s…kinda eerie.” She headed for the fridge. “I need a glass of wine. How about you?”
“That would be wonderful. I haven’t had a drink in years.”
“Really?” Rayne turned to look at her as she poured two glasses, hesitating. “You’re not…?”
London shook her head. “Oh, no. I’m not an alcoholic or anything. It’s just that Louis forbade me from drinking, and frankly I felt like I needed a clear head at all times to stay one step ahead of him. He was never predictable.”
Rayne carried the glasses to the table and handed one to London as she sat next to her. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“Yeah. I’m just sorry I was too weak to get out sooner.” She sighed and then took a drink. “Mmm. Nice.”
“My father left a packed wine cellar.” She pointed to a door off the kitchen. “Go check it out sometime. It’s impressive. I’m not sure he even drank that much himself, but he kept quite a collection.”
“There’s a wine cellar?”
“Yep. Under the kitchen.”
London set her glass down. “I should pace myself. The doctor gave me some Xanax yesterday to help me relax at night. I don’t want to mix it with too much alcohol.”
“Good idea.” Rayne was glad to hear London was seeing a doctor and taking care of herself.
London glanced around. “You must have had quite the childhood growing up in this house.”
Rayne’s shoulders sagged, and she stared at her glass, running a finger along the rim until it hummed. “Not really. It was boring.”
“Here? How could it be boring? The place is huge. You could play hide-and-seek and not find someone for a week.” She giggled.
Rayne was glad to find London so pulled together. No one would know her asshole husband had died two nights ago a few yards away from her. It proved just how strong she was underneath. With some counseling, she should be able to go on with her life and find someone who would treat her like she deserved.
Rayne realized she needed to respond. “No one ever played hide-and-seek in this house.” She sighed and lifted her gaze. Maybe she could open up to London a bit. Practice.
“I’m sorry.”
Rayne’s chest felt tight at the idea of sharing, and she could feel her father glaring at her, but she shook thoughts of him from her mind and sat taller. “My father was very proper. I suppose his parents were too. When I was a young girl, I used to beg him to let me have friends over, but he never consented.”
“That must have been lonely. Did you have any brothers and sisters?”
Rayne shook her head.
“I don’t know how I would have survived my childhood without Colin there to torment me.” She smiled.
“I can picture that.”
“Yeah. He used to chase me and my friends around the yard. I think he secretly had a crush on one of my girlfriends, but he never admitted to it.”
“Which of you is older?”
“Colin. He’s thirty-four. I’m thirty-one.”
“Ah.” She hadn’t been sure of Colin’s age, but she would have guessed him to be in that vicinity.
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-six.”
“Wow. You seem much older.” London’s face flushed and her eyes went wide. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out.”
Rayne chuckled. “It’s fine.”
“I just mean, you’re so put together. Professional. Not that you look old.”
“I’m sure I seemed old by the time I was about twelve. I was young when I started attending business functions as my father’s plus-one. I needed to act far older than my years. By the time I was in high school, I was already five-eight and had the body of a woman. I’m pretty sure most of the people I met through his work thought I was an adult.”
“That must have been weird, and kind of boring. What business was your father in?”
“He was a money manager, a shrewd one. Most of his clients were wealthy businessmen. He managed their finances. They invited him to many different functions. I even attended strangers’ birthday parties and weddings.”
Rayne licked her lips, took another sip of her wine for fortification, and spoke again. “Sometimes I pretended the girls I met at those parties were my friends.”
London’s face fell. Her lips were pursed.
“Pretty pitiful.”
“No. Just sad. Why didn’t you have your own friends? I can’t imagine anyone not liking you.”
Another deep breath. “There were girls at school I was acquainted with, but it got weird as I got older and I wasn’t allowed to have people come to my house. Sometimes I went to other girls’ homes for a sleepover or dinner or something, but since I never reciprocated, their mothers probably told them not to invite me again.”
London reached over and set a hand on Rayne’s. “I’m so sorry.”
Rayne took a fortifying breath and nodded at the computer. “What are you working on?” she asked to change the subject.
London grinned. “Looking at job opportunities. I haven’t worked in five years, but I do have a degree. It might be tough to get back out there, but I’m going to try.”
“What’s your degree in?”
“You’re going to laugh.” London giggled. “I have a bachelors in English. You would think someone like me would be too educated to have fallen for a man like Louis and then given up five years of my life.”
“I would never laugh.” Rayne shook her head. “I’ve seen all kinds of people at the women’s shelter, and every sort of woman alive comes into my office for a divorce. Even the most educated, seemingly put-together women fall prey to abusive men. It happens to poor women and rich women and every kind in between.”
“Well, I feel stupid.”
“Don’t. You got out. You’re strong. You have your whole life ahead of you.”
“Is it bad that I keep thinking I’m kinda lucky? I mean, I feel bad that a man I was married to for five years is dead, but at least he can’t harass me or hurt me ever again, and I don’t have to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, wondering if he’s following me.” Her face scrunched up.
Rayne flipped her hand over and grabbed London’s. “It’s perfectly normal to feel that way.”
“Thank you.”
“What did you do before you met him?”
“I was working in a bar in Florida, saving money to pay for my master’s.”
“Well, now you can go back or do anything you want.”<
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“Thank you,” London murmured again. “For letting me stay here and for listening.”
“Thank you. For listening to me. I may live in a big house and seem to have the perfect life, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m a hot mess with lingering issues from my childhood. I just hope I can find a way to pull myself together and open up to your brother before he gives up on me and I lose him.”
“Oh, Rayne. He adores you. He’s been talking about you from the moment we came to your office. You’re not going to lose him. He’s a patient man.”
Rayne smiled. “I hope so. I’m trying. But it’s hard to let go of things your parents ingrain in you, and I don’t want to disappoint him.”
“I get that. You’ll get there.”
Rayne was asleep when she felt fingers crawling up her thigh, over her hip and then her waist. Warm lips landed on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, baby. I couldn’t get out of there earlier,” Colin whispered.
“It’s okay,” she murmured, shaking sleep from her heavy body as she rolled onto her back to face him. “I had a nice evening with London.”
He smiled, and she realized he’d left a light on in the bathroom, making it possible to see his face. “Thank you so much for that. She has no friends.”
“I like her, and if you haven’t noticed, I also have no friends.”
He set his forehead against hers, his hand smoothing over her side, teasing the underside of her breast. “Well, you both have me. And now you have each other.”
“Yeah.” That did feel good. “It’s weird having people in this house. The place is more like a shrine or a morgue. It was usually so quiet when I was growing up. It’s nice having noise.” She let her voice dip. “It’s nice having someone climb into my bed.”
He slid his hand under her shoulder and lowered his lips to hers. Instead of kissing her, he spoke against them. “I know we haven’t had any time to talk in two days, but it’s on my agenda. And I have loved knowing that even though I haven’t seen you in the daylight in far too many days, I get to slide into your bed and hold your warm soft body all night.”
Mastering Rayne: Club Zodiac, Book Four Page 14